Genre: Comedy, Music
Cast
Jack Black (JB)
Kyle Gass (KG)
JR Reed (Lee)
1
00:00:05,705 --> 00:00:06,967
- Ready, Kage?
- Ready.
2
00:00:07,007 --> 00:00:08,440
Let's do this.
3
00:00:08,475 --> 00:00:10,670
Fatty.
4
00:00:10,710 --> 00:00:12,644
Check. Uggh.
5
00:00:12,679 --> 00:00:14,010
Bean and cheese burrito.
6
00:00:14,047 --> 00:00:15,947
Bean and chee--
7
00:00:17,117 --> 00:00:19,108
Tenacious sound check initiated.
8
00:00:19,152 --> 00:00:20,278
Engage Kage!
9
00:00:20,320 --> 00:00:21,981
Aah!
10
00:00:31,564 --> 00:00:33,361
Ha ha ha ha ha! High-five!
11
00:00:33,400 --> 00:00:35,061
Hnnh!
12
00:01:09,035 --> 00:01:11,196
OK.
13
00:01:11,237 --> 00:01:12,761
Two, three...
14
00:01:24,851 --> 00:01:29,151
# A long-ass fucking time ago
in a town called Kickapoo #
15
00:01:29,189 --> 00:01:33,091
# There lived a humble family,
religious through and through #
16
00:01:33,126 --> 00:01:35,117
# But hey,
there was a black sheep #
17
00:01:35,161 --> 00:01:37,652
# And he knew just what to do #
18
00:01:37,697 --> 00:01:41,428
# His name was Young JB
and he refused to step in line #
19
00:01:41,468 --> 00:01:45,268
# A vision he did see of
fucking rocking all the time #
20
00:01:45,305 --> 00:01:49,765
# He wrote a tasty jam
and all the planets did align #
21
00:01:52,679 --> 00:01:54,442
# Oh, the dragon's balls
were blazing #
22
00:01:54,481 --> 00:01:56,506
# As I stepped into his cave #
23
00:01:56,549 --> 00:01:58,608
# Then I sliced
his fucking cockles #
24
00:01:58,651 --> 00:02:00,312
# With my long and shiny blade #
25
00:02:00,353 --> 00:02:01,786
# 'Twas I who
fucked the dragon #
26
00:02:01,821 --> 00:02:03,584
# Fucka lye, sing, fucka loo #
27
00:02:03,623 --> 00:02:05,818
# And if you try
to fuck with me #
28
00:02:05,859 --> 00:02:10,091
# Then I shall fuck you too #
29
00:02:10,130 --> 00:02:12,360
# Gotta get it on
in the party zone #
30
00:02:13,700 --> 00:02:15,998
# I gots to shoot a load
in the party zone #
31
00:02:17,070 --> 00:02:19,300
# Gotta lick a toad
in the party zone #
32
00:02:21,174 --> 00:02:23,608
# Gotta suck a choad
in the party zone #
33
00:02:25,645 --> 00:02:27,306
Aaaah!
34
00:02:38,658 --> 00:02:41,855
# You disobeyed my orders, son,
Why were you ever born? #
35
00:02:41,895 --> 00:02:44,125
# Your brother's 10 times
better than you #
36
00:02:44,164 --> 00:02:45,995
# Jesus loves him more #
37
00:02:46,032 --> 00:02:47,624
# This music
that you've played for us #
38
00:02:47,667 --> 00:02:49,498
# Comes from
the depths of hell #
39
00:02:49,536 --> 00:02:51,231
# Rock & roll's
the Devil's work #
40
00:02:51,271 --> 00:02:53,364
# He wants you to rebel #
41
00:02:53,406 --> 00:02:55,067
# You'll become
a mindless puppet #
42
00:02:55,108 --> 00:02:56,973
# Beelzebub
will pull the strings #
43
00:02:57,010 --> 00:02:58,637
# Your heart
will lose direction #
44
00:02:58,678 --> 00:03:02,375
# And chaos it will bring #
45
00:03:02,415 --> 00:03:05,179
# You better shut your mouth,
you better watch your tone #
46
00:03:06,619 --> 00:03:10,350
# You're grounded for a week
with no telephone #
47
00:03:10,390 --> 00:03:13,689
# Don't let me hear you cry,
don't let me hear you moan #
48
00:03:13,726 --> 00:03:17,093
# You gotta praise the Lord
when you're in my home #
49
00:03:22,302 --> 00:03:26,898
# Dio, can you hear me?
I am lost and so alone #
50
00:03:26,940 --> 00:03:28,999
# I'm asking for your guidance #
51
00:03:29,042 --> 00:03:31,670
# Won't you come down
from your throne? #
52
00:03:31,711 --> 00:03:36,546
# I need the tight compadre
who will teach me how to rock #
53
00:03:36,583 --> 00:03:41,452
# My father thinks you're evil,
but, man, he can suck a cock #
54
00:03:41,487 --> 00:03:46,447
# Rock is not the Devil's work,
it's magical and rad #
55
00:03:46,492 --> 00:03:53,921
# I'll never rock as long as
I am stuck here with my dad #
56
00:03:58,671 --> 00:04:00,502
# I hear you,
brave young Jables #
57
00:04:00,540 --> 00:04:02,474
# You are hungry for the rock #
58
00:04:02,508 --> 00:04:03,839
# But to learn
the ancient methods #
59
00:04:03,876 --> 00:04:05,468
# Secret doors you must unlock #
60
00:04:05,511 --> 00:04:07,172
# Escape your
father's clutches #
61
00:04:07,213 --> 00:04:09,408
# And this oppressive
neighborhood #
62
00:04:09,449 --> 00:04:15,479
# On a journey you must go
to find the land of Hollywood #
63
00:04:16,756 --> 00:04:19,520
# In the city of fallen angels #
64
00:04:19,559 --> 00:04:22,050
# Where the ocean
meets the sand #
65
00:04:22,095 --> 00:04:24,723
# You will form
a strong alliance #
66
00:04:24,764 --> 00:04:27,961
# And the world's
most awesome band #
67
00:04:28,001 --> 00:04:30,367
# To find your
fame and fortune #
68
00:04:30,403 --> 00:04:32,894
# Through the valley
you must walk #
69
00:04:32,939 --> 00:04:35,567
# You will face your inner demons #
70
00:04:35,608 --> 00:04:43,140
# Now go, my son, and rock! #
71
00:04:52,725 --> 00:04:54,659
# So he bailed
from fucking Kickapoo #
72
00:04:54,694 --> 00:04:56,286
# With hunger in his heart #
73
00:04:56,329 --> 00:04:59,958
# And he journeyed far and wide
to find the secrets of his art #
74
00:04:59,999 --> 00:05:03,833
# But in the end he knew that
he would find his counterpart #
75
00:05:03,870 --> 00:05:08,933
# Rock #
76
00:05:08,975 --> 00:05:15,938
# Ro-o-o-ck #
77
00:05:15,982 --> 00:05:17,745
# Ro-o-o-o-o-o-o-o #
78
00:05:17,784 --> 00:05:23,416
# Hey-yeah-hey-yeah-hey-yeah-
yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah-hey-yeah #
79
00:05:23,456 --> 00:05:25,117
# Rock! #
80
00:06:05,865 --> 00:06:12,532
# Tenacious D, Tenacious D #
81
00:06:12,572 --> 00:06:16,133
# D, D, D, D #
82
00:06:16,175 --> 00:06:18,973
# Oh, oh, oh, oh #
83
00:06:19,011 --> 00:06:21,138
# Tenacious #
84
00:06:50,209 --> 00:06:53,667
# Tenacious D, Tenacious D #
85
00:06:57,550 --> 00:07:00,986
# Tenacious D, Tenacious D #
86
00:07:01,020 --> 00:07:02,988
# Tenacious D #
87
00:07:03,022 --> 00:07:08,517
# Tenacious D,
Ten! Ten! Ten! Ten! #
88
00:07:08,561 --> 00:07:12,861
# Ten is ten, is ten,
is ten, is-- #
89
00:07:18,538 --> 00:07:20,199
This place is awesome.
90
00:07:21,340 --> 00:07:23,137
Gold man. Ha ha ha!
91
00:07:43,763 --> 00:07:45,424
Whoa!
92
00:07:45,465 --> 00:07:47,865
Ohhh! Oh, man!
93
00:07:47,900 --> 00:07:51,028
- Thank you.
- Oh, my God.
94
00:07:51,070 --> 00:07:54,369
OK, that was
the best thing I have ever seen.
95
00:07:55,508 --> 00:07:57,999
- Who are you?
- The name's Kyle Gass.
96
00:07:58,044 --> 00:07:59,705
Kyle Gass.
97
00:07:59,745 --> 00:08:03,511
Dude, will you just teach me
that one thing that you did?
98
00:08:03,549 --> 00:08:05,141
Where you're like, playing--
99
00:08:05,184 --> 00:08:07,311
I'm not giving
free guitar lessons today.
100
00:08:07,353 --> 00:08:09,753
Why don't you stand over there?
101
00:08:09,789 --> 00:08:11,518
Right here?
102
00:08:11,557 --> 00:08:12,956
You're awesome.
103
00:08:12,992 --> 00:08:15,517
This next piece
is by Johann Sebastian Bach--
104
00:08:15,561 --> 00:08:16,994
- Watch this.
- And it's entitled...
105
00:08:17,029 --> 00:08:18,496
Bourrée in E Minor.
106
00:08:18,531 --> 00:08:20,931
Check this out,
this guy's insane.
107
00:08:28,341 --> 00:08:29,706
Man, are you guys stupid.
108
00:08:29,742 --> 00:08:32,939
Don't you know genius
when you see it?
109
00:08:32,979 --> 00:08:34,469
Damn!
110
00:08:37,950 --> 00:08:40,043
Anyway.
111
00:08:40,086 --> 00:08:40,186
My name's JB.
112
00:08:40,186 --> 00:08:41,744
My name's JB.
113
00:08:43,022 --> 00:08:44,387
Just rolled into town.
114
00:08:44,423 --> 00:08:46,653
- Would you give me some space?
- Yeah.
115
00:08:46,692 --> 00:08:48,023
You're kinda cramping my style.
116
00:08:48,060 --> 00:08:49,152
Oh, dude, I'm sorry.
117
00:08:49,195 --> 00:08:50,560
And you're driving
away my crowd.
118
00:08:50,596 --> 00:08:53,030
If you just move back,
like I asked you earlier...
119
00:08:53,065 --> 00:08:54,498
I think things
are going to be a lot better.
120
00:08:54,534 --> 00:08:56,468
- OK. Fine. Sorry.
- Thanks.
121
00:08:58,571 --> 00:09:00,038
# Can't you see he's the man? #
122
00:09:00,072 --> 00:09:01,937
# Let me hear you applaud #
123
00:09:01,974 --> 00:09:04,442
# He's more than a man,
he's a shining golden god! #
124
00:09:04,477 --> 00:09:05,501
# If you think #
125
00:09:05,545 --> 00:09:06,705
# It's time to fucking rock #
126
00:09:06,746 --> 00:09:08,839
# And fucking roll out of control #
127
00:09:08,881 --> 00:09:10,712
# Well, then you know
you've got to rock the block #
128
00:09:10,750 --> 00:09:12,911
# You fucking suck my fucking cock #
129
00:09:12,952 --> 00:09:15,147
# 'Cause when you rule,
you fucking school #
130
00:09:15,187 --> 00:09:17,314
# All of the fools
out of their jewels #
131
00:09:17,356 --> 00:09:19,586
# 'Cause if you think it's time to,
if you think it's time to #
132
00:09:19,625 --> 00:09:23,857
# If you think
it's time to fucking ro-ock #
133
00:09:23,896 --> 00:09:24,920
# He is going #
134
00:09:24,964 --> 00:09:26,659
# To kick your fucking ass #
135
00:09:26,699 --> 00:09:29,224
# And you know
his name is Kyle Gass #
136
00:09:29,268 --> 00:09:31,566
# Rocking and fucking rolling #
137
00:09:31,604 --> 00:09:34,801
# And fucking rocking
and fucking rolling #
138
00:09:34,840 --> 00:09:36,603
# And fucking
rip-rip-dip-diddley-diddley #
139
00:09:36,642 --> 00:09:38,166
# Rip-rip-dip-diddley-diddley
dip, dip #
140
00:09:38,210 --> 00:09:39,438
# Be-dop-bop-bop,
be-dop-bop-bop #
141
00:09:39,478 --> 00:09:41,469
# Be-dop-bop-bop,
be-dop-bop-bop-boo! #
142
00:09:41,514 --> 00:09:44,074
# Bip-bip-bip-biddle-biddle-boo,
bip-bip-bip-biddle-biddle-boo #
143
00:09:44,116 --> 00:09:46,812
# Boo, boo, boo,
boo, boo, boo! #
144
00:09:46,852 --> 00:09:49,480
# Bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-baah!
Bop-bop-bop-bop-bop #
145
00:09:49,522 --> 00:09:52,320
# Bip, bip, bip, bip,
bip, bip, bip, bip #
146
00:09:52,358 --> 00:09:55,418
# Bip, bip, bip, bip-be-doo! #
147
00:09:55,461 --> 00:09:57,122
Yeah!
148
00:09:57,163 --> 00:09:58,931
Dudes!
149
00:09:58,931 --> 00:10:00,796
That was bad-ass.
150
00:10:00,833 --> 00:10:04,269
You guys are like electric dynamite.
151
00:10:04,303 --> 00:10:05,600
What's the name of your band?
152
00:10:07,506 --> 00:10:11,943
We're not a band. They calls
me KG Solo Man Five Thousand...
153
00:10:13,479 --> 00:10:16,209
and I aims to keep it that way.
154
00:10:16,248 --> 00:10:18,614
- Aah!
- I'm outta here.
155
00:10:18,651 --> 00:10:20,846
This place is tapped.
156
00:10:28,894 --> 00:10:31,124
Jeez Louise, papa cheese.
157
00:10:31,163 --> 00:10:33,358
I know. It's OK.
158
00:10:34,667 --> 00:10:36,134
It's just part of his genius.
159
00:10:44,210 --> 00:10:49,375
# Well, I can't get
to sleep tonight #
160
00:10:50,916 --> 00:10:55,410
# No matter how hard I try #
161
00:10:57,390 --> 00:11:00,655
# 'Cause it's cold
and it's dark #
162
00:11:00,693 --> 00:11:05,027
# And the moon cannot light
the way #
163
00:11:06,565 --> 00:11:08,999
# And Daddy's gone #
164
00:11:11,537 --> 00:11:21,412
# I'm just a baby #
165
00:11:21,447 --> 00:11:25,440
# Aaah-hah-hah-hah #
166
00:11:38,330 --> 00:11:40,992
Well. What do we 'ave 'ere?
167
00:11:41,033 --> 00:11:43,024
My little snuggles.
168
00:11:43,069 --> 00:11:46,436
- Ha ha ha!
- I spy a stinking, filthy fag!
169
00:11:46,472 --> 00:11:49,168
Snivelling, boo-hoo-hoo!
170
00:11:49,208 --> 00:11:50,869
Like a wee baby!
171
00:11:50,910 --> 00:11:52,537
Ha ha ha!
172
00:11:52,578 --> 00:11:55,206
He does look like a fucking baby.
173
00:11:55,247 --> 00:11:58,683
Oh! Ha ha. Wee baby.
174
00:11:58,718 --> 00:12:01,687
Listen, fellas. I don't
wanna fight. So if you don't...
175
00:12:01,721 --> 00:12:03,518
Aaaah!
176
00:12:03,556 --> 00:12:06,252
Look at this. What is it?
177
00:12:06,292 --> 00:12:08,192
Needs a popping, my brother.
178
00:12:08,227 --> 00:12:09,455
- Ooh!
- Hey, no. Give me that back.
179
00:12:09,495 --> 00:12:10,689
That's my lucky guitar pick.
180
00:12:10,730 --> 00:12:12,789
That's my lucky guitar pick. Ow!
181
00:12:12,832 --> 00:12:15,357
Ah! Argh! Ow!
182
00:12:17,303 --> 00:12:18,930
Ha ha ha!
183
00:12:20,473 --> 00:12:23,101
Hey! Okay! Let's go!
184
00:12:26,445 --> 00:12:29,437
Woo-hoo! Woo-hoo! Ha ha ha!
185
00:12:29,482 --> 00:12:33,384
Heh heh heh! Ha ha ha!
186
00:12:41,160 --> 00:12:42,627
Ohh...
187
00:12:42,661 --> 00:12:44,492
That's right, run.
188
00:12:44,530 --> 00:12:47,090
Unless you want
some more of this! Aah!
189
00:12:49,702 --> 00:12:51,499
You saved me.
190
00:12:51,537 --> 00:12:54,097
Aah, that's all right.
191
00:12:54,140 --> 00:12:55,232
They had it coming.
192
00:12:56,442 --> 00:12:58,342
How can I repay you?
193
00:13:00,045 --> 00:13:01,171
We'll work something out.
194
00:13:21,901 --> 00:13:24,062
This place is futuristic.
195
00:13:25,237 --> 00:13:28,604
Yeah, this is my pad, here.
Number four.
196
00:13:28,641 --> 00:13:31,542
Not hard to remember.
Just think, "My door is four."
197
00:13:31,577 --> 00:13:33,807
Pretty cool.
198
00:13:35,214 --> 00:13:37,205
Wow. Nice pad.
199
00:13:37,249 --> 00:13:39,649
You got this place all to yourself?
200
00:13:39,685 --> 00:13:42,711
Yeah. I try to keep it simple.
201
00:13:42,755 --> 00:13:44,222
This is where I stay when I write.
202
00:13:44,256 --> 00:13:46,224
It's quite, uh, minimalist.
203
00:13:46,258 --> 00:13:49,159
I don't like anything to get in
the way of my creative juices.
204
00:13:49,195 --> 00:13:50,184
Cool.
205
00:13:50,229 --> 00:13:52,026
I'm working on my solo album
right now.
206
00:13:52,064 --> 00:13:54,259
Aaah.
207
00:13:54,300 --> 00:13:55,961
Yeah, Kyle Gass Project.
208
00:13:56,001 --> 00:13:59,061
It's got some pretty, uh,
breakthrough shit on it.
209
00:13:59,104 --> 00:14:01,038
Trying to keep it
on the hush-hush, though.
210
00:14:01,073 --> 00:14:04,201
Man, if you need a singer,
I am so there.
211
00:14:04,243 --> 00:14:05,232
Check it out.
212
00:14:05,277 --> 00:14:07,006
# Ride the tiger! #
213
00:14:07,046 --> 00:14:10,709
# You can see his stripes
but you know he's clean #
214
00:14:13,085 --> 00:14:14,643
It's a Ronnie James Dio song.
215
00:14:14,687 --> 00:14:17,178
Yeah. I know.
216
00:14:17,223 --> 00:14:18,884
I helped write it.
217
00:14:18,924 --> 00:14:20,152
I jam with him all the time.
218
00:14:20,192 --> 00:14:21,853
No way!
219
00:14:21,894 --> 00:14:24,385
- You do not know Dio!
- Sure.
220
00:14:24,430 --> 00:14:26,762
I know all the dudes
from Sabbath.
221
00:14:28,767 --> 00:14:29,893
- Dude?
- Mm?
222
00:14:32,171 --> 00:14:34,731
Is there any way that
maybe I could audition...
223
00:14:34,773 --> 00:14:36,434
to be in the Kyle Gass Project?
224
00:14:36,475 --> 00:14:38,705
Hm. Maybe.
225
00:14:38,744 --> 00:14:40,405
Oh ho ho ho!
226
00:14:40,446 --> 00:14:41,674
You gotta get your chops up,
though...
227
00:14:41,714 --> 00:14:44,114
if you wanna shred
with the big dogs, son.
228
00:14:44,149 --> 00:14:45,207
You got a lot to learn.
229
00:14:47,453 --> 00:14:49,045
Will you teach me your ways?
230
00:14:50,389 --> 00:14:52,550
I will teach you.
231
00:14:52,591 --> 00:14:55,287
Go ahead and sleep
on the power couch.
232
00:14:55,327 --> 00:14:56,919
Your training begins tomorrow.
233
00:14:56,962 --> 00:14:59,430
At the crack of noon!
234
00:15:00,633 --> 00:15:01,895
Um--
235
00:15:03,102 --> 00:15:04,433
# It could have been disaster #
236
00:15:04,470 --> 00:15:06,495
# Till the pupil found his master #
237
00:15:06,538 --> 00:15:07,903
# Something rhymes with master #
238
00:15:07,940 --> 00:15:09,931
# He's teaching
him in the ways of rock #
239
00:15:09,975 --> 00:15:11,966
Lesson number one.
240
00:15:12,011 --> 00:15:13,876
Power slide.
241
00:15:13,913 --> 00:15:18,145
# Aaaah #
242
00:15:20,019 --> 00:15:22,214
It's just slidin' on your knees.
243
00:15:22,254 --> 00:15:23,482
Is it?
244
00:15:23,522 --> 00:15:26,514
Or is it the single
most powerful stage move...
245
00:15:26,558 --> 00:15:28,219
in any rocker's arsenal?
246
00:15:29,695 --> 00:15:31,356
Oh.
247
00:15:32,464 --> 00:15:34,932
Gimme a power slide.
Full throttle.
248
00:15:36,135 --> 00:15:37,625
No fear.
249
00:15:37,670 --> 00:15:39,501
I'll give you a power slide.
250
00:15:43,542 --> 00:15:45,942
- How'd that feel?
- Really good.
251
00:15:45,978 --> 00:15:47,639
How did it look?
252
00:15:47,680 --> 00:15:49,147
Amazing...
253
00:15:49,181 --> 00:15:50,512
...ly bad.
254
00:15:50,549 --> 00:15:53,450
# Doo-doo-doo-
mm-doodle-diddum-doo-doo #
255
00:15:53,485 --> 00:15:56,113
# I'm cleaning this apartment #
256
00:15:56,155 --> 00:15:58,851
# 'Cause it's gonna
help me, maybe #
257
00:15:58,891 --> 00:16:01,519
# Get into
the Kyle Gass Project #
258
00:16:01,560 --> 00:16:04,393
# Roodle-oodle-doo,
roodle-oodle doo #
259
00:16:04,430 --> 00:16:07,126
# Roodle-oodle-doo-doo-doo #
260
00:16:08,400 --> 00:16:10,265
Hey, what's this check
for 200 bucks?
261
00:16:10,302 --> 00:16:12,702
Oh, gimme that.
262
00:16:12,738 --> 00:16:14,399
That's a royalty check.
263
00:16:14,440 --> 00:16:16,408
Why's it say,
"I love you, pumpkin" on it?
264
00:16:16,442 --> 00:16:19,707
Well, um, it's the name
of a song.
265
00:16:19,745 --> 00:16:22,179
Big hit in Canada.
266
00:16:22,312 --> 00:16:23,973
Get back to work.
267
00:16:26,283 --> 00:16:28,342
Whoa, check out that superfox!
268
00:16:30,520 --> 00:16:33,045
Do you think you can
handle a woman like that?
269
00:16:33,089 --> 00:16:34,750
I think so.
270
00:16:34,791 --> 00:16:36,622
Well, you'd better know so...
271
00:16:36,660 --> 00:16:37,991
'cause there's gonna be
ten times hotter ones...
272
00:16:38,028 --> 00:16:39,757
backstage at the Kyle Gass Project.
273
00:16:39,796 --> 00:16:41,127
Really?
274
00:16:41,164 --> 00:16:44,531
Sex is a crucial component
to the Kyle Gass Project.
275
00:16:44,568 --> 00:16:46,160
Now drop
and give me one cock push-up.
276
00:16:47,437 --> 00:16:48,495
What's a cock push-up?
277
00:16:48,538 --> 00:16:50,506
What's a cock push-up?
278
00:16:50,540 --> 00:16:53,839
A cock push-up, my friend, is
where you lay on your stomach...
279
00:16:53,877 --> 00:16:56,345
and lift yourself off the ground
with nuthin' but your boner.
280
00:16:57,647 --> 00:16:59,308
No problem.
281
00:17:00,150 --> 00:17:02,209
The cock is a muscle.
282
00:17:02,252 --> 00:17:03,583
You gotta learn how to flex it.
283
00:17:03,620 --> 00:17:07,716
From now on, I want you to do
one cock push-up a day...
284
00:17:07,757 --> 00:17:09,088
every day.
285
00:17:09,125 --> 00:17:12,026
- It hurts my cock.
- Keep at it. You never know...
286
00:17:12,062 --> 00:17:14,656
when you'll need to fuck your way
out of a tight situation.
287
00:17:14,698 --> 00:17:15,892
Whoo!
288
00:17:15,932 --> 00:17:18,093
# Ding-ding-a-ding-
ding-a-ding-ding-ding #
289
00:17:18,134 --> 00:17:20,762
# His fingers move
with blinding speed #
290
00:17:20,804 --> 00:17:23,329
# Within my mind
he'll plant the seed #
291
00:17:23,373 --> 00:17:27,104
# I'm proud to be
amongst his learned flock #
292
00:17:27,143 --> 00:17:29,509
# He teaches me #
293
00:17:29,546 --> 00:17:32,242
# Beseeches me #
294
00:17:32,282 --> 00:17:35,080
# And when I've learned
all of his lessons #
295
00:17:35,118 --> 00:17:41,682
# Then I'll know the
ancient secrets of his rock #
296
00:17:44,160 --> 00:17:46,355
Aaah.
297
00:17:46,396 --> 00:17:48,261
Yeah.
298
00:17:48,298 --> 00:17:50,095
Oh oh oh, yeah!
299
00:17:50,133 --> 00:17:52,294
I fucking did it!
300
00:17:52,335 --> 00:17:54,860
Oh, I did it!
301
00:17:59,442 --> 00:18:01,273
Hey. Dude, you reached KG.
302
00:18:01,311 --> 00:18:03,040
You know what to do. Uhhh.
303
00:18:06,750 --> 00:18:09,048
Dude, pick up.
304
00:18:09,085 --> 00:18:11,553
Dude, it's Jables. Pick up, man.
305
00:18:11,588 --> 00:18:14,284
- Yeah.
- Yeah! Ha ha ha!
306
00:18:14,324 --> 00:18:16,087
I did it, man. Check it out.
307
00:18:16,126 --> 00:18:17,320
You hear that?
308
00:18:17,360 --> 00:18:18,850
The training is working, man.
309
00:18:18,895 --> 00:18:20,590
I made ten whole bucks
with my rock!
310
00:18:20,630 --> 00:18:22,564
Good. Go score me a dime bag.
311
00:18:22,599 --> 00:18:23,964
A what?
312
00:18:24,000 --> 00:18:25,831
Ten dollars' worth of weed.
313
00:18:25,869 --> 00:18:28,667
Now, listen.
Go down to Wake & Bake Pizza...
314
00:18:28,705 --> 00:18:30,502
Ask for Jojo.
315
00:18:30,540 --> 00:18:33,634
Tell him you want
the Bob Marley extra crispy.
316
00:18:33,677 --> 00:18:34,735
He'll know
what you're talking about.
317
00:18:34,778 --> 00:18:36,302
All right, dude. Roger that.
318
00:18:36,346 --> 00:18:38,007
One extra crispy coming up!
319
00:18:39,349 --> 00:18:42,580
Stone Age man
now had the muscle power...
320
00:18:42,619 --> 00:18:47,386
and mental power necessary
to evolve to new heights.
321
00:18:47,424 --> 00:18:49,892
He then found the means
to harness...
322
00:18:49,926 --> 00:18:52,724
an even greater energy source.
323
00:18:56,032 --> 00:18:58,933
The animals and creatures around him.
324
00:18:58,968 --> 00:18:59,957
Hmm.
325
00:19:00,003 --> 00:19:02,494
Animal power would give him the food...
326
00:19:02,539 --> 00:19:06,566
and transportation, the clothing
and entertainment...
327
00:19:06,609 --> 00:19:09,737
- needed for his long journey.
- Dude, turn it to Channel 14.
328
00:19:09,779 --> 00:19:11,713
In Search of Sasquatch is on.
329
00:19:15,518 --> 00:19:19,249
When you are able to snatch
this remote from my hand...
330
00:19:19,289 --> 00:19:21,883
you will be ready to choose
the channels we watch.
331
00:19:22,926 --> 00:19:24,723
Try to snatch it.
332
00:19:38,174 --> 00:19:39,573
Aah, fuck!
333
00:19:39,609 --> 00:19:43,010
Patience, young grass smoker.
Patience.
334
00:19:43,947 --> 00:19:45,744
Welcome to the gig simulator.
335
00:19:45,782 --> 00:19:49,218
If you pass this test,
your training is complete.
336
00:19:49,252 --> 00:19:53,086
You will be ready to audition
for the KGP.
337
00:19:53,123 --> 00:19:54,181
The what?
338
00:19:54,224 --> 00:19:55,748
Kyle Gass Project?
339
00:19:55,792 --> 00:19:57,020
Oh, right, right.
340
00:19:57,861 --> 00:19:58,850
Hold on.
341
00:19:58,895 --> 00:20:01,056
Aaah.
342
00:20:02,832 --> 00:20:05,300
Here's your 'za. That'll be 15.50.
343
00:20:05,335 --> 00:20:07,235
- Cool.
- Hey.
344
00:20:07,270 --> 00:20:09,830
Aren't you the guitar guy
from the boardwalk?
345
00:20:09,873 --> 00:20:12,068
- Yeah.
- I'm Lee.
346
00:20:12,108 --> 00:20:14,736
- Kage.
- Whoa!
347
00:20:14,778 --> 00:20:17,975
You guys puttin' on a concert?
Can I watch?
348
00:20:18,014 --> 00:20:20,005
- Half off the pie?
- Dealio.
349
00:20:21,384 --> 00:20:23,545
Right on. Come on in.
350
00:20:25,255 --> 00:20:27,052
Hu...
351
00:20:27,090 --> 00:20:33,427
Um...I don't know
if that's such a good idea, KG.
352
00:20:33,463 --> 00:20:36,261
Uh, I'd rather not do this
in front of strangers.
353
00:20:36,299 --> 00:20:37,288
What do you think
it's going to be like...
354
00:20:37,333 --> 00:20:38,857
when we play the Coliseum?
355
00:20:38,902 --> 00:20:40,028
No strangers allowed?
356
00:20:40,069 --> 00:20:41,764
OK.
357
00:20:41,805 --> 00:20:44,035
Let the simulation begin.
358
00:20:44,073 --> 00:20:45,904
Uh--Ha ha. All right.
359
00:20:46,843 --> 00:20:48,743
So, should I sing a song?
360
00:20:50,480 --> 00:20:52,414
Hey, sing something, douchebag!
361
00:20:54,684 --> 00:20:56,584
OK.
362
00:20:56,619 --> 00:20:59,247
You know what? I wanna start
off--offstage and come out...
363
00:20:59,289 --> 00:21:01,917
'cause that's the way
I like, imagine it.
364
00:21:01,958 --> 00:21:04,392
Just--just come
in from the wings.
365
00:21:04,427 --> 00:21:08,363
Ladies and gentlemen,
the Kyle Gass Project!
366
00:21:08,398 --> 00:21:09,956
Aaah!
367
00:21:12,135 --> 00:21:15,070
Hey, what's up? I'm JB
from the Kyle Gass Project.
368
00:21:15,638 --> 00:21:18,106
Get on with it, dumb shit.
369
00:21:18,141 --> 00:21:21,076
All right, Kage,
let's do it, man. Two, three.
370
00:21:21,110 --> 00:21:24,102
# The Kyle Gass a-Project
is a-out of control! #
371
00:21:24,147 --> 00:21:25,136
# All right! #
372
00:21:27,984 --> 00:21:30,179
Get off the stage,
you stupid dillweed.
373
00:21:34,624 --> 00:21:38,116
# He'd turn me to a diamond
from a piece of coal #
374
00:21:38,161 --> 00:21:40,152
# Yeah yeah yeah #
375
00:21:41,498 --> 00:21:43,329
Boo!
376
00:21:43,366 --> 00:21:46,335
Boo! Boo!
377
00:21:46,369 --> 00:21:47,996
Boooo!
378
00:21:48,037 --> 00:21:50,528
Go back to Kickapoo,
you fat-ass momma's boy!
379
00:21:50,573 --> 00:21:52,200
Boo!
380
00:21:52,242 --> 00:21:55,211
# You're teaching me
the secrets of the pumpkin patch #
381
00:21:55,245 --> 00:21:57,679
- Boo!
- Ow! Aah!
382
00:21:57,714 --> 00:21:59,875
- Boo!
- Urgh.
383
00:21:59,916 --> 00:22:01,543
Hey, that's really...
384
00:22:01,584 --> 00:22:06,715
- Hey! You suck!
- You suck! Suck! Suck!
385
00:22:06,756 --> 00:22:09,657
Jesus. You call that music?
386
00:22:09,692 --> 00:22:11,421
You're nothing but a mistake.
387
00:22:11,461 --> 00:22:13,361
I should have worn a condom.
388
00:22:13,396 --> 00:22:15,455
I was not a mistake.
389
00:22:15,498 --> 00:22:17,227
Power slide.
390
00:22:21,704 --> 00:22:24,172
Aaagh! Aaah, aaah!
391
00:22:24,207 --> 00:22:27,370
- He's had enough. Turn it off.
- Aagh. Aaaah!
392
00:22:27,410 --> 00:22:29,139
Lights!
393
00:22:29,178 --> 00:22:31,874
- Oooh.
- Hey, hey, it's OK.
394
00:22:31,915 --> 00:22:34,850
- I suck!
- You don't suck.
395
00:22:34,884 --> 00:22:36,715
I broke my guitar!
396
00:22:36,753 --> 00:22:37,913
Monster mash!
397
00:22:37,954 --> 00:22:40,923
Nobody passes the gig simulator
on the first time.
398
00:22:40,957 --> 00:22:43,357
Not even this guy.
399
00:22:43,393 --> 00:22:45,384
You didn't?
400
00:22:45,428 --> 00:22:47,555
But then you did pass it later?
401
00:22:47,597 --> 00:22:51,055
I passed later, but, you know,
took me a couple of tries.
402
00:22:51,100 --> 00:22:53,967
- Oh, you did? I was doing...
- You know you can do it.
403
00:22:54,003 --> 00:22:55,334
- It was going pretty good.
- Right.
404
00:22:55,371 --> 00:22:57,362
Until I got--until I got to the--
405
00:22:57,407 --> 00:22:58,601
When I messed up on that thing.
406
00:22:58,641 --> 00:23:00,734
Let's clean this place up.
What do you say?
407
00:23:00,777 --> 00:23:04,144
And then we'll do bongloads
and play Maximum Overthruster.
408
00:23:04,180 --> 00:23:05,943
- Hey, dude, it's KG.
- Do some bongloads?
409
00:23:05,982 --> 00:23:08,450
You know what to do. Uhhh.
410
00:23:09,018 --> 00:23:10,610
Hi, pumpkin. It's your mother.
411
00:23:10,653 --> 00:23:12,553
Your father and I have decided...
412
00:23:12,589 --> 00:23:16,889
that 15 years of trying to be a famous
musician is long enough.
413
00:23:16,926 --> 00:23:18,587
So I'm sorry to say...
414
00:23:18,628 --> 00:23:20,323
we aren't going to be sending
you any more rent checks.
415
00:23:20,363 --> 00:23:21,762
It's time to get a real job.
416
00:23:21,798 --> 00:23:23,459
I love you, pumpki--
417
00:23:27,036 --> 00:23:29,903
"I love you, pumpkin"?
418
00:23:29,939 --> 00:23:32,237
Those weren't royalty checks.
419
00:23:33,476 --> 00:23:35,376
I can't believe this machine, it's--
420
00:23:35,411 --> 00:23:37,140
Let's watch TV, you wanna?
421
00:23:40,350 --> 00:23:42,113
You lied to me.
422
00:23:47,457 --> 00:23:49,288
- You don't know Dio.
- Hey!
423
00:23:49,325 --> 00:23:51,953
I think that In Search
of Sasquatch is on.
424
00:23:51,995 --> 00:23:54,122
- Hold on.
- Give me that fucking remote.
425
00:23:54,163 --> 00:23:56,461
No! Leave it!
426
00:23:56,499 --> 00:23:58,592
No!
427
00:23:58,635 --> 00:24:00,603
Aaah!
428
00:24:00,637 --> 00:24:02,229
- Ohhh!
- Aaah!
429
00:24:03,339 --> 00:24:05,705
Who are you?
430
00:24:07,076 --> 00:24:08,805
Here's your lunch, pumpkin.
431
00:24:08,845 --> 00:24:10,779
Thanks, Mom.
432
00:24:10,813 --> 00:24:12,940
Oh! Mwah!
433
00:24:12,982 --> 00:24:14,074
I love you, pumpkin.
434
00:24:23,326 --> 00:24:24,987
- Hey, pumpkin!
- Ha ha ha!
435
00:24:25,028 --> 00:24:27,189
Hah! What's with the hat, dude?
436
00:24:27,230 --> 00:24:29,027
Your mom sew that for you?
Ha ha ha!
437
00:24:30,033 --> 00:24:31,796
Ha ha ha!
438
00:24:31,834 --> 00:24:35,270
- Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha!
- Oh, my God!
439
00:24:35,304 --> 00:24:37,431
Your mom shine that for you
when you go to bed?
440
00:24:37,473 --> 00:24:41,705
- Cue ball!
- Science experiment gone wrong!
441
00:24:41,744 --> 00:24:43,575
- Freakazoid!
- Ha ha ha!
442
00:24:45,481 --> 00:24:47,005
I'm fucking outta here.
443
00:24:53,990 --> 00:24:55,321
Don't walk away from me!
444
00:24:56,859 --> 00:24:59,054
I fucking cleaned your apartment, man.
445
00:25:00,430 --> 00:25:02,921
What are you doin'?
446
00:25:02,965 --> 00:25:04,899
Why are you packing?
447
00:25:06,602 --> 00:25:08,229
I have to go back to my mom and dad's.
448
00:25:09,272 --> 00:25:12,036
I'm broke.
449
00:25:12,075 --> 00:25:13,667
I already spent the last rent check.
450
00:25:13,710 --> 00:25:16,008
Oh, you fucking dick!
451
00:25:16,045 --> 00:25:18,309
What'd you spend the money on? Huh?
452
00:25:18,347 --> 00:25:20,838
An official professor bullshit degree?
453
00:25:20,883 --> 00:25:22,942
What'd you spend the rent on?
454
00:25:32,361 --> 00:25:33,350
I got that for you.
455
00:26:31,754 --> 00:26:33,915
Stop packing, dude.
456
00:26:33,956 --> 00:26:36,789
We're gonna pay the rent...
457
00:26:36,826 --> 00:26:38,794
with our rock.
458
00:26:38,828 --> 00:26:41,422
- We are?
- Yeah.
459
00:26:41,464 --> 00:26:44,922
But we're not gonna be called
the Kyle Gass Project.
460
00:26:44,967 --> 00:26:46,628
From now on...
461
00:26:46,669 --> 00:26:50,230
we will be known as Tenac.
462
00:26:50,273 --> 00:26:52,241
Tenac?
463
00:26:52,275 --> 00:26:53,936
What's that?
464
00:26:53,976 --> 00:26:56,274
It's a sign.
465
00:26:56,312 --> 00:26:57,973
A legacy.
466
00:27:02,952 --> 00:27:05,750
I've had this birthmark since I was born.
467
00:27:06,756 --> 00:27:08,986
I looked it up in the dictionary.
468
00:27:10,326 --> 00:27:12,658
It's not in there.
469
00:27:12,695 --> 00:27:15,095
I never knew what the hell it meant.
470
00:27:15,131 --> 00:27:17,531
Till now.
471
00:27:17,567 --> 00:27:19,865
It's the name of our fuckin' band, dude.
472
00:27:21,070 --> 00:27:23,129
I have ass-mark too.
473
00:27:31,581 --> 00:27:33,173
You guys!
474
00:27:35,418 --> 00:27:36,817
Look!
475
00:27:43,159 --> 00:27:45,787
# Whoa! #
476
00:27:47,630 --> 00:27:50,656
# They must pay the rent #
477
00:27:51,667 --> 00:27:55,068
# With their rock #
478
00:27:55,104 --> 00:28:04,843
# Oh-ohhhh, oh, oh #
479
00:28:07,884 --> 00:28:11,718
But thaaaaat's my life.
480
00:28:15,524 --> 00:28:17,185
All right.
481
00:28:17,226 --> 00:28:20,525
Neil Hamburger,
everybody, Neil Hamburger.
482
00:28:20,563 --> 00:28:22,554
Funny stuff.
483
00:28:22,598 --> 00:28:25,362
Uh, the next band
asked me to read this.
484
00:28:25,401 --> 00:28:28,029
"Since the beginning of time...
485
00:28:28,070 --> 00:28:32,370
"'twas written in the stones
that one day, a band would come.
486
00:28:32,408 --> 00:28:34,933
"Well, that band has come...
487
00:28:34,977 --> 00:28:37,571
"and now they're here
to come again...
488
00:28:37,613 --> 00:28:40,104
"in your ear-pussies."
489
00:28:41,450 --> 00:28:43,680
Ladies and gentlemen,
Tenacious D.
490
00:28:45,888 --> 00:28:48,083
That was awesome,
the way you read that.
491
00:28:48,124 --> 00:28:49,386
Kage. Kage?
492
00:28:49,425 --> 00:28:51,586
Don't forget
to fucking bring the thunder.
493
00:28:51,627 --> 00:28:51,727
- OK.
- Hey, what's up?
494
00:28:51,727 --> 00:28:53,058
- OK.
- Hey, what's up?
495
00:28:53,095 --> 00:28:55,188
We're Tenacious D
and this is our first concert ever...
496
00:28:55,231 --> 00:28:56,425
so it's kinda historical.
497
00:28:56,465 --> 00:28:59,491
And, um, we wrote this song that
gives you a little taste...
498
00:28:59,535 --> 00:29:00,797
of, like, the history of the band.
499
00:29:00,836 --> 00:29:02,098
Let's fucking do it, Kage, go!
500
00:29:02,138 --> 00:29:05,505
This is a song called
The History Of Tenacious D.
501
00:29:05,541 --> 00:29:06,530
And it's not just
a list of bullshit...
502
00:29:06,575 --> 00:29:07,633
that we've done in the past.
503
00:29:07,677 --> 00:29:09,474
It's a chronicling of our rise.
504
00:29:09,512 --> 00:29:10,740
To power!
505
00:29:10,780 --> 00:29:13,544
# We ride with kings
on mighty steeds #
506
00:29:13,582 --> 00:29:15,311
# Across the Devil's plain #
507
00:29:15,351 --> 00:29:18,081
# We've walked
with Jesus and his cross #
508
00:29:18,120 --> 00:29:19,883
# He did not die in vain #
509
00:29:19,922 --> 00:29:21,583
# No! #
510
00:29:24,827 --> 00:29:27,057
# We've run with wolves,
we've climbed K2 #
511
00:29:27,096 --> 00:29:29,257
# We even stopped a moving train #
512
00:29:29,298 --> 00:29:31,664
# We've traveled through
space and time, my friends #
513
00:29:31,701 --> 00:29:33,396
# To rock this house again #
514
00:29:33,436 --> 00:29:34,903
# Rock! #
515
00:29:38,441 --> 00:29:40,409
# We ride and we ride
we'll never subside #
516
00:29:40,443 --> 00:29:42,274
# We'll ride
till the planets collide #
517
00:29:42,311 --> 00:29:44,905
# And if you say that
we do not ride #
518
00:29:44,947 --> 00:29:47,108
# I'll tan your fucking hide #
519
00:29:47,149 --> 00:29:48,878
# Ride! #
520
00:29:51,854 --> 00:29:52,980
# Kyle's fingers be silver #
521
00:29:53,022 --> 00:29:54,319
# Jack's voice then be gold #
522
00:29:54,357 --> 00:29:56,484
# But lest you think we're vain #
523
00:29:56,525 --> 00:29:58,755
# We know you're all robots
and we don't care #
524
00:29:58,794 --> 00:30:00,261
# Tenacious D #
525
00:30:00,296 --> 00:30:02,161
# We reign! #
526
00:30:04,800 --> 00:30:06,461
# We reign #
527
00:30:06,502 --> 00:30:08,629
# Supreme, oh God! #
528
00:30:08,671 --> 00:30:10,036
# Burrito supreme #
529
00:30:11,240 --> 00:30:13,265
# And a chicken supreme #
530
00:30:13,309 --> 00:30:15,971
# And a Cutlass Supreme #
531
00:30:16,012 --> 00:30:19,539
# Supreme, yeah #
532
00:30:19,582 --> 00:30:22,050
# Gonna count one, two, three #
533
00:30:22,084 --> 00:30:25,645
# Supreme, yeah #
534
00:30:25,688 --> 00:30:27,849
# Gonna count one, two, three #
535
00:30:28,557 --> 00:30:31,993
# Supre--ee--eme #
536
00:30:32,028 --> 00:30:34,292
# Gonna count one, two, three #
537
00:30:34,330 --> 00:30:36,025
# Burrito supreme #
538
00:30:36,065 --> 00:30:38,329
# And a chicken supreme #
539
00:30:38,367 --> 00:30:40,699
# And a Cutlass Supreme #
540
00:30:40,736 --> 00:30:42,727
# Supreme! #
541
00:30:44,040 --> 00:30:45,374
Yeah!
542
00:30:45,374 --> 00:30:47,001
Let's go!
543
00:30:47,043 --> 00:30:49,568
Ha ha ha!
544
00:30:49,612 --> 00:30:51,807
- Yeah!
- Yeah!
545
00:30:53,949 --> 00:30:55,246
You guys, wait for me outside.
546
00:30:55,284 --> 00:30:57,445
I'm gonna go talk to the big cheese.
547
00:30:57,486 --> 00:30:58,578
Good call.
548
00:31:00,623 --> 00:31:02,454
So?
549
00:31:02,491 --> 00:31:04,015
What'd you think?
550
00:31:04,060 --> 00:31:05,789
It was OK.
551
00:31:05,828 --> 00:31:07,227
- It was OK?
- Mm-hm.
552
00:31:07,263 --> 00:31:08,491
You were OK. We were kick-ass.
553
00:31:08,531 --> 00:31:10,761
And we're gonna totally win
that money next week...
554
00:31:10,800 --> 00:31:12,427
at the open mic contest.
555
00:31:12,468 --> 00:31:14,436
Well, good luck.
556
00:31:14,470 --> 00:31:16,904
You know there's a lot
of stiff competition, so...
557
00:31:16,939 --> 00:31:20,602
you might wanna think about
writing some new material.
558
00:31:23,913 --> 00:31:27,007
That was amazing. You guys
changed people's lives tonight.
559
00:31:27,049 --> 00:31:28,812
I know, we were so awesome.
560
00:31:28,851 --> 00:31:31,684
Yeah, it was awesome.
Compared to bullshit.
561
00:31:31,720 --> 00:31:33,244
But compared to the greats?
562
00:31:33,289 --> 00:31:37,123
To Zeppelin? To the Beatles?
To fucking Beethoven?
563
00:31:38,260 --> 00:31:40,125
True. We were kick-ass.
564
00:31:40,162 --> 00:31:42,687
But if the D's gonna
win that prize money...
565
00:31:42,731 --> 00:31:45,598
we're gonna have to write
a fucking masterpiece!
566
00:31:46,569 --> 00:31:47,729
Are you with me?
567
00:31:47,770 --> 00:31:49,237
Totally.
568
00:31:49,772 --> 00:31:50,761
Power hug.
569
00:32:02,218 --> 00:32:04,209
Masterpiece.
570
00:32:04,253 --> 00:32:07,279
# A masterpiece, a masterpiece #
571
00:32:07,323 --> 00:32:11,089
# They've got to write a masterpiece
to pay the rent #
572
00:32:12,194 --> 00:32:14,754
Do it!
573
00:32:14,797 --> 00:32:16,128
All right,
no more fucking around.
574
00:32:16,165 --> 00:32:18,395
Masterpiece is right in there.
575
00:32:18,434 --> 00:32:20,095
All we have to do is step
into that magic circle...
576
00:32:20,136 --> 00:32:21,501
and the masterpiece is ours.
577
00:32:21,537 --> 00:32:22,868
Are you ready?
578
00:32:22,905 --> 00:32:24,133
Are you ready
to write a fucking masterpiece?
579
00:32:24,173 --> 00:32:25,299
- 'Cause I sure the fuck am.
- Yeah!
580
00:32:25,341 --> 00:32:27,832
Let's go!
581
00:32:27,877 --> 00:32:29,276
What are you doing?
Go. Go. Play something.
582
00:32:29,311 --> 00:32:31,370
Go fast. The magic only lasts a second.
583
00:32:31,413 --> 00:32:33,244
No, don't play fast.
I said start fast.
584
00:32:33,282 --> 00:32:34,772
But keep going, yes.
585
00:32:34,817 --> 00:32:36,944
Try to make it prettier.
Prettier, prettier. Prettier.
586
00:32:36,986 --> 00:32:38,544
Stop judging yourself,
you're judging yourself.
587
00:32:38,587 --> 00:32:39,713
That's why that riff sucks.
588
00:32:39,755 --> 00:32:42,553
No fucking mental blocks.
Release the...
589
00:32:42,591 --> 00:32:43,990
# Chi #
590
00:32:44,026 --> 00:32:45,357
That's all right.
591
00:32:45,394 --> 00:32:46,827
Now, can you play a little
higher, higher, higher up?
592
00:32:46,862 --> 00:32:49,330
Higher notes, higher notes,
higher notes, higher notes.
593
00:32:49,365 --> 00:32:51,833
Higher notes, higher notes,
can you play any higher notes?
594
00:32:51,867 --> 00:32:53,095
Sorry, I didn't mean to yell.
595
00:32:53,135 --> 00:32:54,466
I'm not looking for anything specific...
596
00:32:54,503 --> 00:32:56,198
but that's definitely
the wrong part of the cosmos.
597
00:32:56,238 --> 00:32:58,638
I want it over here, in the
newer, hotter part. Like--
598
00:32:58,674 --> 00:33:01,234
# Molten lava! #
599
00:33:01,277 --> 00:33:03,711
# That's the thing,
keep playing that riff #
600
00:33:03,746 --> 00:33:07,113
# Because we gotta
get it on tonight, aah #
601
00:33:07,149 --> 00:33:08,673
What are you doing?
Were we recording?
602
00:33:08,717 --> 00:33:10,309
Press record. Press record.
603
00:33:10,352 --> 00:33:12,115
Oh, God damn it, it's too late!
604
00:33:12,154 --> 00:33:13,951
- Aah. Fu--
- God damn it, Kyle, we had it.
605
00:33:13,989 --> 00:33:16,719
We were right there in it
and you were too slow.
606
00:33:16,759 --> 00:33:19,455
You didn't remember to do shit,
you didn't do what I told you...
607
00:33:19,495 --> 00:33:22,430
and things got crossed,
chakras were fucking exploded.
608
00:33:22,464 --> 00:33:23,624
If we're gonna do this thing right...
609
00:33:23,666 --> 00:33:25,361
you gotta do what I tell you to do!
610
00:33:25,401 --> 00:33:28,063
Daaah! Fa-gaah!
611
00:33:29,171 --> 00:33:30,638
I wanna write a masterpiece.
612
00:33:30,673 --> 00:33:33,972
I know, dude. So do I.
613
00:33:37,546 --> 00:33:39,605
It's all right.
614
00:33:39,648 --> 00:33:42,913
We've got writers' block,
it happens to the best of 'em.
615
00:33:42,952 --> 00:33:45,079
I mean, look at these guys.
616
00:33:45,120 --> 00:33:47,645
AC/DC. Van Halen.
617
00:33:47,690 --> 00:33:49,351
The Who!
618
00:33:49,391 --> 00:33:52,087
Why are you guys so awesome?
619
00:33:52,127 --> 00:33:54,391
What do you have
that we don't have?
620
00:33:55,698 --> 00:33:57,598
Well, they all use
the same guitar pick.
621
00:33:58,968 --> 00:34:01,027
What?
622
00:34:08,043 --> 00:34:11,012
Looks like they all use
the same guitar pick.
623
00:34:13,048 --> 00:34:15,573
Holy shitballs.
624
00:34:26,295 --> 00:34:27,626
Too many picks.
625
00:34:27,663 --> 00:34:29,221
Let's see.
626
00:34:33,135 --> 00:34:34,466
I don't think they have it.
627
00:34:34,503 --> 00:34:36,733
Let's talk to the dude. We might
have to special order it.
628
00:34:36,772 --> 00:34:40,105
Marcus, I need a price check
on Ernie Ball amp caster stat.
629
00:34:40,142 --> 00:34:41,666
Just be a second.
630
00:34:41,710 --> 00:34:42,972
Can I help you gentlemen?
631
00:34:43,012 --> 00:34:46,106
Yeah, we're looking for
a guitar pick like this one.
632
00:34:52,921 --> 00:34:55,321
How'd you hear about this?
633
00:34:55,357 --> 00:34:56,790
What did Papardello tell you?
634
00:34:59,261 --> 00:35:02,719
Uh--Ahem. We just noticed
that all these musicians...
635
00:35:02,765 --> 00:35:03,754
are using the same guitar pick--
636
00:35:03,799 --> 00:35:04,788
Okay ka-ssh!
637
00:35:09,571 --> 00:35:13,974
Jerry, do me a favor, uh, ring up
these amp casters for me.
638
00:35:14,009 --> 00:35:15,670
Thank you, my man.
639
00:35:21,083 --> 00:35:22,744
In here.
640
00:35:30,492 --> 00:35:32,960
We can talk in here.
641
00:35:32,995 --> 00:35:35,293
What you seek...
642
00:35:35,331 --> 00:35:37,026
is the Pick...
643
00:35:38,767 --> 00:35:40,166
of Destiny.
644
00:35:41,904 --> 00:35:44,304
I think there's
a light switch back here.
645
00:35:44,340 --> 00:35:46,331
No, dude, you don't...
646
00:35:48,143 --> 00:35:50,202
Grab a seat.
647
00:35:50,245 --> 00:35:52,270
You two bozos
don't even realize it...
648
00:35:52,314 --> 00:35:53,645
but you just stumbled onto...
649
00:35:53,682 --> 00:35:55,547
the darkest secret
in the history of rock.
650
00:35:55,584 --> 00:35:57,518
Go on.
651
00:35:57,553 --> 00:35:59,953
I actually saw it once.
652
00:35:59,988 --> 00:36:01,649
I used to be a guitar tech.
653
00:36:01,690 --> 00:36:04,250
So one night, I'm working a gig
up in New Jersey or something.
654
00:36:04,293 --> 00:36:05,624
Some real mediocre band.
655
00:36:05,661 --> 00:36:07,891
Lead guitarist comes out,
starts shredding licks...
656
00:36:07,930 --> 00:36:09,795
way beyond his capabilities.
657
00:36:09,832 --> 00:36:11,697
Like shit that had to be
coming from somewhere else.
658
00:36:11,734 --> 00:36:13,725
I noticed he was using a new pick.
659
00:36:13,769 --> 00:36:16,431
Weird-looking thing with horns on it.
660
00:36:16,472 --> 00:36:19,373
Made of green ivory, or some shit.
661
00:36:19,408 --> 00:36:21,706
It was the pick, it wasn't him.
662
00:36:21,744 --> 00:36:23,075
He didn't know what he had, though.
663
00:36:23,112 --> 00:36:24,909
End of the show, he flicks it
back into the audience.
664
00:36:24,947 --> 00:36:27,643
Some kid catches it.
665
00:36:27,683 --> 00:36:29,446
Kid named Eddie.
666
00:36:29,485 --> 00:36:30,474
Eddie?
667
00:36:30,519 --> 00:36:32,077
Van Halen!
668
00:36:32,121 --> 00:36:33,782
Whoa.
669
00:36:33,822 --> 00:36:36,086
So I started researching it.
670
00:36:36,125 --> 00:36:40,084
Turns out this thing goes deeper
than I could have imagined.
671
00:36:40,129 --> 00:36:42,063
Way deeper.
672
00:36:42,831 --> 00:36:44,799
Back to the Dark Ages.
673
00:36:44,833 --> 00:36:47,165
I moved to Rome. Quit my job.
674
00:36:47,202 --> 00:36:48,669
Learned Latin.
675
00:36:48,704 --> 00:36:51,400
I gained the trust of the
night librarian at the Vatican.
676
00:36:51,440 --> 00:36:53,567
A gentleman named
Salvatore Papardello.
677
00:36:53,609 --> 00:36:55,736
He turned me on to some shit
that you wouldn't believe.
678
00:36:55,778 --> 00:36:57,803
Check this out.
679
00:36:57,846 --> 00:36:59,973
It's an ancient scroll.
680
00:37:00,015 --> 00:37:01,642
All in Latin.
681
00:37:01,683 --> 00:37:04,379
I translated it. Took me six years.
682
00:37:04,420 --> 00:37:06,752
Why didn't you just get a translator?
683
00:37:06,789 --> 00:37:09,189
And let him read it too?
684
00:37:11,994 --> 00:37:14,326
Listen to this.
685
00:37:14,363 --> 00:37:17,628
Long ago, a dark wizard
used his black magic...
686
00:37:17,666 --> 00:37:19,031
to summon Satan himself.
687
00:37:20,102 --> 00:37:21,933
Satanus.
688
00:37:21,970 --> 00:37:23,733
That's Latin for Satan.
689
00:37:23,772 --> 00:37:25,672
A horrific battle ensued.
690
00:37:25,707 --> 00:37:28,403
But the great demon
was far too powerful.
691
00:37:28,444 --> 00:37:30,469
Snakes!
692
00:37:30,512 --> 00:37:33,072
Finish me, foul beast!
693
00:37:33,115 --> 00:37:35,879
Luckily, a blacksmith
heard the beast's roars.
694
00:37:35,918 --> 00:37:38,113
No!
695
00:37:38,987 --> 00:37:40,249
Ow!
696
00:37:40,289 --> 00:37:42,723
Fuck! You chipped my tooth.
697
00:37:42,758 --> 00:37:44,157
I'm not complete.
698
00:37:44,193 --> 00:37:47,458
Venisti remanebis
donec denuo completus sis.
699
00:37:47,496 --> 00:37:48,963
What does that mean?
700
00:37:48,997 --> 00:37:52,433
From whence you came
you shall remain...
701
00:37:54,069 --> 00:37:55,798
until you are complete again.
702
00:37:56,705 --> 00:37:58,195
Fuck you! No!
703
00:37:58,240 --> 00:38:01,232
No! I'm not complete!
704
00:38:01,276 --> 00:38:03,506
The demon was drawn back
into the fires of hell...
705
00:38:03,545 --> 00:38:07,447
and the dark wizard
was totally stoked to be alive.
706
00:38:07,483 --> 00:38:09,713
With a long draw on his hash pipe...
707
00:38:09,751 --> 00:38:12,777
the wizard devised a way
to repay the blacksmith.
708
00:38:12,821 --> 00:38:15,051
The blacksmith loved a fair maiden.
709
00:38:15,090 --> 00:38:18,355
To gain her affection, he would
need a true master skill...
710
00:38:18,393 --> 00:38:20,987
that would leave the maiden
moist and wanting.
711
00:38:21,029 --> 00:38:24,260
And so the wizard fashioned
the demon's tooth...
712
00:38:24,299 --> 00:38:27,200
into a pick that would make
the blacksmith play...
713
00:38:27,236 --> 00:38:30,262
only the most masterful
of melodies on his lute...
714
00:38:31,607 --> 00:38:35,873
thereby winning the heart
of the maiden he loved.
715
00:38:37,179 --> 00:38:40,307
The secret of the pick died
with that blacksmith.
716
00:38:40,349 --> 00:38:41,680
And then...poof!
717
00:38:41,717 --> 00:38:44,948
All of a sudden it reappears
in the American South...
718
00:38:44,987 --> 00:38:47,455
at the turn of the century,
in Robert Johnson's fingers.
719
00:38:47,489 --> 00:38:49,980
Spawns the birth of the blues.
And rock & roll.
720
00:38:50,025 --> 00:38:51,117
Of course.
721
00:38:51,159 --> 00:38:53,354
The pick is a tiny part
of the beast...
722
00:38:53,395 --> 00:38:55,693
so it has
supranatural qualities.
723
00:38:55,731 --> 00:38:58,996
- Supernatural?
- No, supra-natural.
724
00:38:59,034 --> 00:39:02,492
That's like
a whole other level above super.
725
00:39:02,538 --> 00:39:04,165
Where is it now?
726
00:39:05,474 --> 00:39:09,137
That's the last known photo
of the pick.
727
00:39:09,177 --> 00:39:10,542
That guitar was sold at auction.
728
00:39:10,579 --> 00:39:13,810
It now resides in the
Rock & Roll History Museum.
729
00:39:15,150 --> 00:39:17,141
That's where the POD is too.
730
00:39:17,185 --> 00:39:20,245
- The POD?
- The Pick of Destiny.
731
00:39:20,289 --> 00:39:21,722
Oh.
732
00:39:21,757 --> 00:39:23,987
Why didn't you just go get it?
733
00:39:24,026 --> 00:39:27,052
The Rock & Roll History Museum
is an impenetrable fortress.
734
00:39:27,095 --> 00:39:31,589
You two bozos wanna steal
the Pick of Destiny...
735
00:39:31,633 --> 00:39:32,930
count me out.
736
00:39:32,968 --> 00:39:35,061
I already went down
that rabbit hole once.
737
00:39:35,103 --> 00:39:37,196
And I got news for you.
738
00:39:37,239 --> 00:39:39,537
There's no cheese at
the end of that tunnel, buddy.
739
00:39:40,876 --> 00:39:43,106
All right, get outta here.
I told you enough already.
740
00:39:43,145 --> 00:39:45,010
C'mon, get outta here.
741
00:39:45,047 --> 00:39:47,038
Man, I don't know what to say.
742
00:39:47,082 --> 00:39:48,777
Shh.
743
00:39:48,817 --> 00:39:50,842
Just get outta my store.
744
00:39:53,589 --> 00:39:55,250
The Quest!
745
00:40:03,332 --> 00:40:05,857
Oh, my God! You guys!
What are you doin' here?
746
00:40:05,901 --> 00:40:07,926
- Come on in!
- Actually, we can't stay.
747
00:40:07,970 --> 00:40:09,369
We were hopin'
you'd do us a favor.
748
00:40:09,404 --> 00:40:11,634
Anything you need, man.
749
00:40:11,673 --> 00:40:14,301
- Do you think it would be OK--
- We need your car.
750
00:40:14,343 --> 00:40:16,368
Oh.
751
00:40:16,411 --> 00:40:19,539
Um, well,
kinda need it for work.
752
00:40:19,581 --> 00:40:20,878
Listen, man.
753
00:40:20,916 --> 00:40:23,714
We've got a meeting
with the hugest president...
754
00:40:23,752 --> 00:40:26,380
of the most massive
record company in the business.
755
00:40:26,421 --> 00:40:28,753
We need to meet him
in Sacramento tonight.
756
00:40:28,790 --> 00:40:30,155
Oh.
757
00:40:30,192 --> 00:40:31,989
Uh--
758
00:40:32,027 --> 00:40:33,756
Well--
759
00:40:33,795 --> 00:40:35,057
All right.
760
00:40:35,097 --> 00:40:36,621
Hey, what's up with this pedal?
761
00:40:36,665 --> 00:40:38,098
That's my extra brake.
762
00:40:38,133 --> 00:40:40,829
I'm a pizza delivery guy
and a driving instructor.
763
00:40:40,869 --> 00:40:43,702
I teach people how to drive
while I deliver 'zas.
764
00:40:43,739 --> 00:40:45,730
Ha ha ha! Good thinkin', man.
765
00:40:46,475 --> 00:40:47,772
Later.
766
00:40:52,848 --> 00:40:55,612
Knock 'em dead
at the meeting, you guys.
767
00:40:58,720 --> 00:41:00,984
I can't stop thinkin'
about that fuckin' pick.
768
00:41:01,023 --> 00:41:03,651
You heard the guy. It's Satan's tooth.
769
00:41:03,692 --> 00:41:05,182
When we get that thing...
770
00:41:05,227 --> 00:41:06,785
we're gonna win
that fuckin' prize money...
771
00:41:06,828 --> 00:41:09,763
then we're gonna
dominate the world of rock.
772
00:41:10,766 --> 00:41:13,564
We're gonna be unstoppable, man.
773
00:41:13,602 --> 00:41:16,298
Hmmm...
774
00:41:16,338 --> 00:41:18,363
Unstoppable.
775
00:41:18,407 --> 00:41:22,138
Unstoppable.
776
00:41:22,177 --> 00:41:24,304
Unstoppable.
777
00:41:24,346 --> 00:41:27,611
This, uh, next band
asked me not to read this...
778
00:41:27,649 --> 00:41:32,677
but, God damn it,
I'm going to read it anyway...
779
00:41:32,721 --> 00:41:34,348
because I wrote it...
780
00:41:34,389 --> 00:41:36,653
and it's the truth.
781
00:41:36,692 --> 00:41:39,525
"I fucking love this band!"
782
00:41:40,662 --> 00:41:44,359
They are the best band ever, period!
783
00:41:44,399 --> 00:41:50,497
Ladies and gentlemen, Tenacious D!
784
00:41:56,244 --> 00:41:57,404
Hey, what's up?
785
00:41:57,446 --> 00:42:01,405
Me and KG wrote this song
five minutes ago.
786
00:42:01,450 --> 00:42:03,247
It's called Master Exploder.
787
00:42:19,234 --> 00:42:28,905
# Ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh
ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh #
788
00:42:28,944 --> 00:42:36,612
# Ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh yeah! #
789
00:42:38,353 --> 00:42:41,379
- # I do not need #
-# He does not need #
790
00:42:41,423 --> 00:42:44,790
- # A microphone #
-# A microphone #
791
00:42:44,826 --> 00:42:47,260
- # My voice is fucking #
-# Fucking #
792
00:42:47,295 --> 00:42:49,525
# Powerful #
793
00:42:51,066 --> 00:42:59,599
# Ahh, yeah! #
794
00:43:09,751 --> 00:43:18,659
# Ah, ahh, yeah! #
795
00:43:20,162 --> 00:43:21,151
Sorry.
796
00:43:22,831 --> 00:43:26,130
- # I did not mean #
-# He did not mean #
797
00:43:26,168 --> 00:43:29,604
- # To blow your mind #
-# To blow your mind #
798
00:43:29,638 --> 00:43:39,809
# But that shit happens to me
all the ti-i-i-ime #
799
00:43:58,400 --> 00:44:01,494
- # Now, take a look #
-# Take a look #
800
00:44:01,536 --> 00:44:04,528
- # Tell me what you see #
-# What you see #
801
00:44:04,573 --> 00:44:13,447
# We got the Pick of Destiny--y--y #
802
00:44:13,481 --> 00:44:21,786
# Ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh
ahh-ahh yeah! #
803
00:44:25,160 --> 00:44:26,957
Woah!
804
00:44:30,332 --> 00:44:36,032
JB! JB! JB! JB!
805
00:44:36,071 --> 00:44:41,270
JB! JB! JB! JB! JB!
806
00:44:41,309 --> 00:44:43,211
- JB! JB! JB!
- JB. JB. JB.
807
00:44:43,211 --> 00:44:45,304
- JB! JB! JB!
- JB. JB. JB.
808
00:44:45,347 --> 00:44:47,645
JB, wake up. JB, wake up!
809
00:44:50,218 --> 00:44:51,685
Let's chow down, dude.
810
00:44:51,720 --> 00:44:53,483
- I'm starving.
- OK.
811
00:45:12,407 --> 00:45:13,999
You guys know what you want?
812
00:45:14,042 --> 00:45:16,442
Hmm.
813
00:45:16,478 --> 00:45:18,241
What do you recommend?
814
00:45:18,280 --> 00:45:20,180
I recommend
that you order some food.
815
00:45:21,349 --> 00:45:22,748
OK.
816
00:45:22,784 --> 00:45:28,450
Uh--Lemme have
the fried chicken and a steak...
817
00:45:29,324 --> 00:45:30,552
and the chicken-fried steak.
818
00:45:32,227 --> 00:45:33,660
Hello.
819
00:45:33,695 --> 00:45:36,220
Um--What happened to your eye?
820
00:45:38,099 --> 00:45:40,124
I burned it with a curling iron.
821
00:45:41,469 --> 00:45:44,199
I'll have one small glass
of carrot juice.
822
00:45:44,239 --> 00:45:45,467
Yeah, we don't have that here.
823
00:45:45,507 --> 00:45:47,270
Then I will have nothing.
824
00:45:47,309 --> 00:45:48,970
Great.
825
00:45:52,747 --> 00:45:54,908
- Dude, what's the matter?
- Dude?
826
00:45:54,950 --> 00:45:56,747
Aren't you hungry?
You should eat somethin'.
827
00:45:56,785 --> 00:45:59,117
No. I never eat before a mission.
828
00:45:59,154 --> 00:46:00,621
It slows you down.
829
00:46:00,655 --> 00:46:03,180
I gotta be light on my feet
like a dancer.
830
00:46:03,224 --> 00:46:05,089
Like a fuckin' ninja, dude.
831
00:46:05,126 --> 00:46:06,115
Now check this out.
832
00:46:06,161 --> 00:46:07,958
I'm gonna jump this fence here.
833
00:46:07,996 --> 00:46:09,486
OK? Like a gazelle.
834
00:46:09,531 --> 00:46:11,999
Then you come around
that fuckin' bend.
835
00:46:12,033 --> 00:46:14,501
God! Damn it, Kyle!
836
00:46:14,536 --> 00:46:16,470
If we're gonna do this,
you gotta stay focused.
837
00:46:16,504 --> 00:46:18,301
Eye of le tigre!
838
00:46:18,340 --> 00:46:19,466
Now check it out.
839
00:46:19,507 --> 00:46:22,601
You give me a fuckin' boost,
He-Man style.
840
00:46:22,644 --> 00:46:25,078
And then we're gonna fuckin' do
a little mini-tiger roll...
841
00:46:25,113 --> 00:46:26,239
- And come on back.
- Oh, my God. Stop it!
842
00:46:26,281 --> 00:46:27,873
I fuckin' pull your shit up.
843
00:46:27,916 --> 00:46:30,282
Dude, hold on. That's good stuff.
844
00:46:35,523 --> 00:46:38,083
You're right, he's coming over here.
845
00:46:40,695 --> 00:46:42,856
- Oh!
- Fuckin' dick squeezer.
846
00:46:58,847 --> 00:47:00,678
Aaah!
847
00:47:06,321 --> 00:47:07,982
Uh--
848
00:47:14,963 --> 00:47:16,624
Hey...
849
00:47:17,932 --> 00:47:19,923
buddy.
850
00:47:19,968 --> 00:47:22,732
Heh heh heh.
851
00:47:22,771 --> 00:47:26,502
So, uh, what, uh, brings you...
852
00:47:26,541 --> 00:47:29,305
to this neck of the woods?
853
00:47:29,344 --> 00:47:32,142
Um--Ahem. We're just
on a little business trip.
854
00:47:32,180 --> 00:47:33,909
Mm.
855
00:47:33,948 --> 00:47:36,416
Are you, uh, going to, uh...
856
00:47:36,451 --> 00:47:39,511
check out
the Rock & Roll History Museum?
857
00:47:39,554 --> 00:47:42,182
- The Rock & Roll what?
- History Museum.
858
00:47:42,223 --> 00:47:43,588
Oh, no. I don't even know
what you're talkin' about.
859
00:47:43,625 --> 00:47:47,584
You just seem like
Rock & Roll types to me.
860
00:47:47,629 --> 00:47:49,153
- Ha ha!
- Yeah, well, we're not.
861
00:47:49,197 --> 00:47:51,131
We're just
two fuckin' businessmen...
862
00:47:51,166 --> 00:47:52,724
on our way
to see some shit in Sacramento.
863
00:47:52,767 --> 00:47:55,065
- So, sorry.
- Hmm. Yes. Yes.
864
00:47:55,103 --> 00:47:57,697
I was just asking because...
865
00:47:57,739 --> 00:48:01,175
I noticed the guitars
in the back seat of your car.
866
00:48:01,209 --> 00:48:03,609
Yeah, well, I said,
we're fuckin' businessmen.
867
00:48:03,645 --> 00:48:05,545
We sell guitars. So what?
Big deal. End of story.
868
00:48:05,580 --> 00:48:06,842
Check, please!
869
00:48:06,881 --> 00:48:08,109
You're sure you aren't planning...
870
00:48:08,149 --> 00:48:10,947
on breaking into
the Rock & Roll History Museum?
871
00:48:10,985 --> 00:48:13,044
Hey, gimme that back, man!
872
00:48:15,957 --> 00:48:17,686
Yeah, my buddy and I are in a band.
873
00:48:17,725 --> 00:48:20,489
I don't like to say the name,
but uh, we had some hits...
874
00:48:20,528 --> 00:48:22,359
And so, uh, they're inductin' us...
875
00:48:22,397 --> 00:48:24,865
into the Rock & Roll History Museum.
876
00:48:24,899 --> 00:48:26,730
- No way!
- Aaah.
877
00:48:26,768 --> 00:48:28,133
Way.
878
00:48:28,169 --> 00:48:30,228
Oh, my God. We're sitting
with someone famous?
879
00:48:30,271 --> 00:48:31,738
Ah, we're just regular guys.
880
00:48:31,773 --> 00:48:35,709
I mean, uh,
we're just flesh and...bone.
881
00:48:49,090 --> 00:48:51,786
Let's just say you are planning...
882
00:48:51,826 --> 00:48:54,488
on breaking into
the Rock & Roll History Museum.
883
00:48:55,630 --> 00:48:57,461
Maybe you are inexperienced...
884
00:48:57,499 --> 00:49:01,560
and you get inside
and cry like little girl.
885
00:49:01,603 --> 00:49:05,232
Maybe you don't have
what it takes to get the job done.
886
00:49:09,177 --> 00:49:11,077
'Scuse me.
887
00:49:13,047 --> 00:49:14,912
Man, God!
888
00:49:20,755 --> 00:49:23,280
Yeah. Damn.
889
00:49:37,539 --> 00:49:44,638
I was thinking maybe there
was something in that museum...
890
00:49:44,679 --> 00:49:46,806
you had a desire for.
891
00:49:48,049 --> 00:49:50,984
Maybe--
892
00:49:51,019 --> 00:49:52,646
Pick of Destiny!
893
00:49:57,926 --> 00:50:01,157
Our sorority is throwing
a huge bash tonight.
894
00:50:01,196 --> 00:50:03,289
You guys should totally come...
895
00:50:03,331 --> 00:50:04,889
and play some
of your songs at the party.
896
00:50:04,933 --> 00:50:07,197
We're just getting ready
to head over there right now.
897
00:50:07,235 --> 00:50:09,135
Why don't you follow us over?
898
00:50:09,170 --> 00:50:10,967
You know what?
899
00:50:11,005 --> 00:50:12,233
That sounds rad.
900
00:50:12,273 --> 00:50:14,332
We don't usually play private parties...
901
00:50:14,375 --> 00:50:18,641
but I think we can make
some dreams come true tonight.
902
00:50:18,680 --> 00:50:20,477
Hee hee hee hee!
903
00:50:20,515 --> 00:50:21,982
I'll ride along with you.
904
00:50:22,016 --> 00:50:23,745
So you don't get lost.
905
00:50:25,253 --> 00:50:29,314
I tried to get
the Pick of Destiny once.
906
00:50:29,357 --> 00:50:32,622
I had it in my hands, too.
907
00:50:32,660 --> 00:50:36,061
But I was caught. Set off a laser.
908
00:50:36,097 --> 00:50:39,157
Security door came down on my leg.
909
00:50:39,200 --> 00:50:41,259
- Cut it right off.
- Ooh.
910
00:50:41,302 --> 00:50:45,261
I would break in again
if I still had my leg.
911
00:50:47,775 --> 00:50:50,767
My leg. Oh, man.
912
00:50:50,812 --> 00:50:54,942
I miss that sweet-ass leg of mine.
913
00:50:54,983 --> 00:50:57,349
Why are you telling me this?
914
00:51:00,421 --> 00:51:05,051
I like you. I see the spark
in your eye that I once had.
915
00:51:05,093 --> 00:51:07,027
Let me show you something.
916
00:51:09,230 --> 00:51:12,461
These are my plans.
They will help you, I promise.
917
00:51:12,500 --> 00:51:15,298
There are two air ducts on the roof.
918
00:51:15,336 --> 00:51:17,531
You must enter through there.
919
00:51:17,572 --> 00:51:19,301
Speak of this to no one!
920
00:51:20,441 --> 00:51:22,102
Wait.
921
00:51:22,143 --> 00:51:23,804
Wait, I have some questions.
922
00:51:23,845 --> 00:51:25,176
Let me wipe.
923
00:51:25,213 --> 00:51:26,271
Hold up, dude.
924
00:51:31,953 --> 00:51:35,286
Dude. I got some smokin' bettys
over there...
925
00:51:35,323 --> 00:51:36,620
and they want us to play a gig.
926
00:51:36,658 --> 00:51:39,752
No. I just had the weirdest
conversation of my life.
927
00:51:39,794 --> 00:51:42,228
This guy just gave me
the perfect plan.
928
00:51:42,263 --> 00:51:43,787
Now, look.
929
00:51:43,831 --> 00:51:47,267
There's two air ducts on the roof.
930
00:51:48,036 --> 00:51:50,334
Dude. The party?
931
00:51:50,371 --> 00:51:52,066
Gettin' to play our own tunes?
932
00:51:52,106 --> 00:51:56,475
That blonde over there wants
to ride my wrinklestick, yo.
933
00:51:56,511 --> 00:51:59,139
Would you get your head out of
the fuckin' pussy-clouds, man?
934
00:51:59,180 --> 00:52:00,841
Who cares about these chicks?
935
00:52:00,882 --> 00:52:02,975
There's gonna be ten times
hotter babes backstage...
936
00:52:03,017 --> 00:52:04,917
when we win album of the year.
937
00:52:04,952 --> 00:52:07,420
This pick is our ticket to genius.
938
00:52:07,455 --> 00:52:11,323
Dude. I can't believe you'd
pass by a gig opportunity...
939
00:52:11,359 --> 00:52:12,986
with some sweet-ass hotties--
940
00:52:13,027 --> 00:52:14,119
What, for this?
941
00:52:14,162 --> 00:52:16,528
Is this really
that important to you? Huh?
942
00:52:16,564 --> 00:52:19,089
We can still write a masterpiece
and win that dough.
943
00:52:19,133 --> 00:52:20,760
Maybe it would be better for the D...
944
00:52:20,802 --> 00:52:22,827
if we worked on our songwriting...
945
00:52:22,870 --> 00:52:25,065
instead of relying on ancient bullshit, but--
946
00:52:25,106 --> 00:52:26,664
probably won't work anyway.
947
00:52:28,176 --> 00:52:29,871
What's it gonna be, Kyle?
948
00:52:29,911 --> 00:52:31,674
You have to decide.
949
00:52:32,513 --> 00:52:35,710
Tits or destiny?
950
00:52:38,920 --> 00:52:40,581
Tits.
951
00:52:49,330 --> 00:52:50,820
So, good luck, buddy.
952
00:52:50,865 --> 00:52:52,856
I hope it was worth it,
because we're done.
953
00:52:52,900 --> 00:52:54,299
You ruined it. Pick's mine.
954
00:52:54,335 --> 00:52:56,235
Fuck you. I don't fuckin' need you.
955
00:52:56,270 --> 00:52:58,670
Later, cock-ass!
956
00:53:03,144 --> 00:53:05,271
Uh, don't mind him. He--
957
00:53:05,313 --> 00:53:06,837
He's my butler.
958
00:53:06,881 --> 00:53:08,644
Had to let him go for loafin'.
959
00:53:08,683 --> 00:53:10,082
He--he'll--he'll be fine.
960
00:53:10,118 --> 00:53:13,849
Excuse me, um, are you gonna
charge us for all the refills?
961
00:53:13,888 --> 00:53:16,356
No, you're so pretty,
you get everything for free.
962
00:53:21,429 --> 00:53:23,021
Well, that's a really good deal.
963
00:53:24,265 --> 00:53:30,693
# Ohhh, ahhh, whoa, why? #
964
00:53:30,738 --> 00:53:31,762
# Woo! #
965
00:53:31,806 --> 00:53:33,569
It's just a five-mile walk.
966
00:53:33,608 --> 00:53:36,270
I can walk that.
I don't need a car.
967
00:53:36,310 --> 00:53:38,437
I'll take the fuckin' shoelace express.
968
00:53:38,479 --> 00:53:39,912
Aaaah!
969
00:53:39,947 --> 00:53:42,279
- Woo!
- Fuck you!
970
00:53:48,656 --> 00:53:51,454
# I want you, Jyne #
971
00:53:51,492 --> 00:53:52,925
# All the time #
972
00:53:52,960 --> 00:53:54,359
# I want you, Jyne #
973
00:53:55,763 --> 00:53:58,561
- Where we goin'?
-# I want you, Jyne #
974
00:53:58,599 --> 00:54:01,796
# Gonna make you mine #
975
00:54:01,836 --> 00:54:03,599
# Tonight #
976
00:54:03,638 --> 00:54:06,573
Stop. Stop the music.
977
00:54:06,607 --> 00:54:10,805
Everybody, we have got
a special surprise tonight.
978
00:54:10,845 --> 00:54:13,507
We have brought with us someone...
979
00:54:13,548 --> 00:54:16,574
who just happens to be a rock star!
980
00:54:16,617 --> 00:54:18,585
Whoo!
981
00:54:18,619 --> 00:54:21,213
That's in town to be conducted...
982
00:54:21,255 --> 00:54:24,986
into the Rock & Roll History Museum.
983
00:54:25,026 --> 00:54:26,789
- Whoo!
- Yeah!
984
00:54:26,828 --> 00:54:30,628
And he promised to come here tonight...
985
00:54:30,665 --> 00:54:33,566
and play us a few of his hits.
986
00:54:33,601 --> 00:54:35,228
- Oh--
- So...
987
00:54:35,269 --> 00:54:37,100
- You know--
- Let's give it up!
988
00:54:37,138 --> 00:54:39,436
- Whoo!
- I don't have a guitar.
989
00:54:39,474 --> 00:54:41,601
I don't have my gui--
I don't have a guitar.
990
00:54:41,642 --> 00:54:43,542
- All right!
- Whoo!
991
00:54:43,578 --> 00:54:45,978
- All right, come on!
- Um--
992
00:54:47,682 --> 00:54:50,276
This is a song, um--
993
00:54:50,318 --> 00:54:51,808
I wrote with my partner.
994
00:54:52,587 --> 00:54:54,521
My f--former partner.
995
00:54:54,555 --> 00:54:57,251
And, uh, it's called
The History Of Tenacious D.
996
00:54:57,291 --> 00:54:59,282
- Whoo!
- Whoo!
997
00:54:59,327 --> 00:55:01,921
- Nice!
- Yeah!
998
00:55:08,102 --> 00:55:10,468
# Across the Devil's plain #
999
00:55:10,505 --> 00:55:11,733
Huh?
1000
00:55:12,707 --> 00:55:15,198
# He did not die in vain, no #
1001
00:55:15,243 --> 00:55:16,904
- That sucked.
- Yeah.
1002
00:55:16,944 --> 00:55:19,708
# I want you, Jyne #
1003
00:55:19,747 --> 00:55:21,442
- # Need it all the time #
- Ha ha ha!
1004
00:55:21,482 --> 00:55:23,643
- That sucked.
-# I want you, Jyne #
1005
00:55:23,684 --> 00:55:25,584
# Oh, girl, you're so divine #
1006
00:55:25,620 --> 00:55:27,485
# I want you, Jyne #
1007
00:55:31,893 --> 00:55:33,884
One more and that's it.
1008
00:55:37,899 --> 00:55:39,560
Aah.
1009
00:55:40,902 --> 00:55:42,529
It's a good thing
I found these mushrooms.
1010
00:55:42,570 --> 00:55:44,868
I was fucking starving.
1011
00:55:44,906 --> 00:55:47,636
Mmm. Mm.
1012
00:55:47,675 --> 00:55:49,336
Aah.
1013
00:55:52,313 --> 00:55:54,304
This place is kinda...
1014
00:55:57,752 --> 00:55:59,413
juicy.
1015
00:56:01,622 --> 00:56:05,353
Zzzzzhing!
1016
00:56:18,973 --> 00:56:20,804
Ha ha ha!
1017
00:56:28,716 --> 00:56:30,547
Hee hee!
1018
00:56:38,259 --> 00:56:41,660
Oh, my God! Sasquatch!
1019
00:56:41,696 --> 00:56:43,926
Aaaaah!
1020
00:56:43,965 --> 00:56:46,900
Jables! What's up?
1021
00:56:46,934 --> 00:56:48,299
Ho ho ho!
1022
00:56:48,336 --> 00:56:50,861
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
1023
00:56:51,472 --> 00:56:54,066
What are you doin' out here?
1024
00:56:54,108 --> 00:56:56,508
I was just walkin'
in your beautiful forest.
1025
00:56:56,544 --> 00:56:59,775
Oh, it's not my fowest, bwother.
1026
00:56:59,814 --> 00:57:01,975
It's evewyone's.
1027
00:57:02,016 --> 00:57:03,608
You're so fuckin' awesome.
1028
00:57:03,651 --> 00:57:06,586
I love yoooou!
1029
00:57:06,621 --> 00:57:08,486
I love you too, JB.
1030
00:57:08,522 --> 00:57:10,922
You're a awesome rocker.
Ha ha ha!
1031
00:57:10,958 --> 00:57:13,051
Whoo!
1032
00:57:13,094 --> 00:57:15,585
- Let's pway!
- Ha ha ha!
1033
00:57:15,630 --> 00:57:18,292
Aaaaah!
1034
00:57:18,332 --> 00:57:21,199
Aaaaah-oooh!
1035
00:57:21,235 --> 00:57:22,600
That's good.
1036
00:57:22,637 --> 00:57:24,867
- Let's go on a adventure.
- Yeah!
1037
00:57:24,905 --> 00:57:28,170
I got lots to show you.
1038
00:57:28,209 --> 00:57:30,439
Can I be a Sasquatch too?
1039
00:57:31,746 --> 00:57:34,237
You alweady are.
1040
00:57:34,281 --> 00:57:36,715
You're my son, JB.
1041
00:57:36,751 --> 00:57:38,981
My widdle baby Sass.
1042
00:57:39,020 --> 00:57:41,079
# La-la-lai-la #
1043
00:57:41,122 --> 00:57:43,420
# La, la, la-la-la-la-la-la #
1044
00:57:43,457 --> 00:57:44,481
Oh!
1045
00:57:44,525 --> 00:57:47,119
Let's take a dip
in the stwawberry wiver!
1046
00:57:47,161 --> 00:57:48,924
- Yay!
- Come on!
1047
00:57:48,963 --> 00:57:49,952
Oooh!
1048
00:57:49,997 --> 00:57:51,658
# Let's go #
1049
00:57:54,268 --> 00:57:58,034
Ohhhh! Yeah. This is fun.
1050
00:57:59,073 --> 00:58:01,064
Ohhhhh!
1051
00:58:01,108 --> 00:58:04,703
Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha!
1052
00:58:04,745 --> 00:58:06,940
Good times.
1053
00:58:06,981 --> 00:58:08,278
- This is fun.
- Good times.
1054
00:58:08,315 --> 00:58:10,840
This is--This is super fun!
1055
00:58:15,489 --> 00:58:16,888
Ha ha ha!
1056
00:58:16,924 --> 00:58:18,915
Ohhh!
1057
00:58:18,959 --> 00:58:20,824
Ha ha! Daddy, look. Look.
1058
00:58:20,861 --> 00:58:22,226
It's stuck to my butt.
1059
00:58:22,263 --> 00:58:25,755
Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
1060
00:58:25,800 --> 00:58:27,893
Shake your tushie, it'll fall off.
1061
00:58:27,935 --> 00:58:30,096
- Aah!
- Oh!
1062
00:58:30,137 --> 00:58:32,469
Let's get wid of these.
1063
00:58:34,575 --> 00:58:36,509
- Ah!
-# Ooh, la-la-la, ooh #
1064
00:58:36,544 --> 00:58:39,172
- Time to fly.
- Yeah.
1065
00:58:39,213 --> 00:58:42,376
- Whee.
- Ha ha ha! Whee!
1066
00:58:42,416 --> 00:58:46,250
Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha!
1067
00:58:46,287 --> 00:58:46,353
- Hee hee! Hee hee hee!
- We're flying!
1068
00:58:46,353 --> 00:58:50,119
- Hee hee! Hee hee hee!
- We're flying!
1069
00:58:50,157 --> 00:58:52,591
- We're flying!
- Hold on, boy!
1070
00:58:52,626 --> 00:58:54,753
# Found where the Sasquatch hide #
1071
00:58:54,795 --> 00:58:56,763
# In the misty mountainside #
1072
00:58:56,797 --> 00:59:01,325
# He's got shiny diamonds
that he's got to protect #
1073
00:59:01,368 --> 00:59:03,666
# Look into the Sasquatch eye #
1074
00:59:03,704 --> 00:59:05,535
# Then you know
that Sass can fly #
1075
00:59:05,573 --> 00:59:10,374
# Sasquatch is my daddy
and he's going to protect me! #
1076
00:59:10,411 --> 00:59:12,174
# Half man and half machine #
1077
00:59:12,213 --> 00:59:14,238
# On the cover of a magazine #
1078
00:59:14,281 --> 00:59:18,945
# Bigfoot is my father
and he's got to protect me! #
1079
00:59:18,986 --> 00:59:20,886
# These lyrics don't make sense #
1080
00:59:20,921 --> 00:59:22,548
# Think I've found the evidence #
1081
00:59:22,590 --> 00:59:26,617
# That yeti is my papa
and he wants to protect-- #
1082
00:59:26,660 --> 00:59:28,321
# Me! #
1083
00:59:29,630 --> 00:59:32,360
Do you know where
I can find the Pick of Destiny?
1084
00:59:32,399 --> 00:59:35,766
Sure! It's right over there!
1085
00:59:35,803 --> 00:59:37,395
Oh! Let's get it!
1086
00:59:37,438 --> 00:59:40,601
I can get it if I surf on your--
1087
00:59:40,641 --> 00:59:43,303
Aaah! Aaah! Aaah!
1088
00:59:44,512 --> 00:59:46,446
Aaaaah! Sweet baby!
1089
00:59:47,581 --> 00:59:51,984
Oh! Aaaah! Aaaah! Aaaah! Aaaah!
1090
00:59:52,019 --> 00:59:53,486
Ow!
1091
00:59:55,523 --> 00:59:57,047
Oh, God!
1092
00:59:58,292 --> 01:00:00,192
Hoo hoo hoo hoo!
1093
01:00:00,227 --> 01:00:02,422
Oh! Oh, God.
1094
01:00:05,800 --> 01:00:07,290
Oh, God.
1095
01:00:07,334 --> 01:00:09,495
Where the fuck am I?
1096
01:00:12,406 --> 01:00:13,930
Yeah, you motherfucker.
1097
01:00:13,974 --> 01:00:15,168
I'm gonna get that son--
1098
01:00:31,358 --> 01:00:34,122
# Dude, I totally miss you #
1099
01:00:34,161 --> 01:00:36,561
# I really fuckin' miss you #
1100
01:00:36,597 --> 01:00:40,328
# I'm all alone all the time #
1101
01:00:40,367 --> 01:00:42,198
# All the time #
1102
01:00:42,236 --> 01:00:44,796
# Dude, I totally miss you #
1103
01:00:44,839 --> 01:00:47,569
# The things we did together #
1104
01:00:47,608 --> 01:00:52,545
# Where have you gone? #
1105
01:00:53,881 --> 01:00:57,408
# Totally miss the honesty
and special times #
1106
01:00:57,451 --> 01:01:03,048
# And honestly I totally miss
the fucked up thing you do #
1107
01:01:04,291 --> 01:01:07,749
# Dude, I totally miss you #
1108
01:01:07,795 --> 01:01:09,990
# I totally miss you #
1109
01:01:10,030 --> 01:01:14,797
# Dude, I totally miss you
all the time #
1110
01:01:16,737 --> 01:01:21,174
# Aaaah #
1111
01:01:22,576 --> 01:01:26,706
# Aaaah #
1112
01:01:29,516 --> 01:01:32,349
# Aaaah-aaaah-aaaah #
1113
01:01:32,386 --> 01:01:36,982
- # Aaaah, I totally aaaah you #
- Ha ha ha!
1114
01:01:37,024 --> 01:01:38,423
Did you see that?
1115
01:01:38,459 --> 01:01:40,290
- That was awesome.
-# Dude, I totally miss you #
1116
01:01:40,327 --> 01:01:42,989
- That was great.
-# I totally miss you #
1117
01:01:43,030 --> 01:01:48,332
# Dude, I totally miss you
all the time #
1118
01:01:50,537 --> 01:01:55,167
# All the t-i-i-ime #
1119
01:02:07,154 --> 01:02:08,678
# The mission is clear #
1120
01:02:08,722 --> 01:02:10,053
# I'm goin' over there #
1121
01:02:10,090 --> 01:02:12,752
# I'm goin' to do the mission #
1122
01:02:12,793 --> 01:02:15,591
# I'm going to flip around the corner
flat as a pancake #
1123
01:02:15,629 --> 01:02:18,257
# And then l--Oh, no, the camera! #
1124
01:02:18,299 --> 01:02:20,767
# Stay back here, devise a plan #
1125
01:02:20,801 --> 01:02:24,464
# Dive into the bushes #
1126
01:02:24,505 --> 01:02:26,871
# Against all odds #
1127
01:02:26,907 --> 01:02:30,365
# Infiltrate, storm the gate! #
1128
01:02:31,412 --> 01:02:32,640
# Storm the gate! #
1129
01:02:32,680 --> 01:02:35,240
- # Ninja style, Samurai #
-# Storm the gate! #
1130
01:02:35,282 --> 01:02:38,342
- # Metal pole, climb that shit #
-# Storm the gate! #
1131
01:02:38,385 --> 01:02:40,751
# Climb into that motherfucker #
1132
01:02:40,788 --> 01:02:43,279
# Now I'm climbin' up, up on a roof #
1133
01:02:43,324 --> 01:02:46,760
# I've got catlike reflexes, flip-- #
1134
01:02:46,794 --> 01:02:47,988
- ...me, I elbow him--
- One guy?
1135
01:02:48,028 --> 01:02:49,017
He's tryin' to punch me in the neck.
1136
01:02:49,063 --> 01:02:50,792
- Yeah.
- I look down...
1137
01:02:50,831 --> 01:02:53,163
and there's two guys goin',
"I'm--We're gonna punch you."
1138
01:02:53,200 --> 01:02:54,667
So they're punchin' up at me...
1139
01:02:54,702 --> 01:02:56,863
I got both elbows down like this.
1140
01:02:56,904 --> 01:02:58,064
Pull both their hair...
1141
01:02:58,105 --> 01:02:59,936
and I made them both
poke each other's eyes out.
1142
01:02:59,974 --> 01:03:01,839
So they're both blind,
there's blood everywhere--
1143
01:03:01,875 --> 01:03:04,969
# Against all odds #
1144
01:03:05,012 --> 01:03:07,412
# Infiltrate, oh, storm the gate! #
1145
01:03:07,448 --> 01:03:09,439
What the fuck?
1146
01:03:12,786 --> 01:03:15,414
# Two air vents on the roof #
1147
01:03:15,456 --> 01:03:18,254
# That's what the guy was talkin' a--shit! #
1148
01:03:18,292 --> 01:03:20,123
- Fuck!
-# Electric eye #
1149
01:03:21,729 --> 01:03:24,630
# Infiltrate, storm the gate! #
1150
01:03:25,866 --> 01:03:27,128
# Storm the gate! #
1151
01:03:28,168 --> 01:03:31,899
# Storm the gate! #
1152
01:03:32,606 --> 01:03:33,368
Ow!
1153
01:03:33,407 --> 01:03:37,036
God damn it! Aah!
1154
01:03:37,077 --> 01:03:37,344
God! That was KG's fault.
1155
01:03:37,344 --> 01:03:39,539
God! That was KG's fault.
1156
01:03:39,580 --> 01:03:41,172
If he'd been here
like we planned...
1157
01:03:41,215 --> 01:03:42,341
he coulda lowered me down
with a rope...
1158
01:03:42,383 --> 01:03:44,112
but dick-ass
had to follow his cock.
1159
01:03:44,151 --> 01:03:48,417
And you know when I go quadruple
plat he'll come a-knockin'--
1160
01:03:48,455 --> 01:03:51,515
"Dude, can I come back
and join the band now?"
1161
01:03:51,558 --> 01:03:53,822
And I'll be like,
"No way, cockshiner."
1162
01:03:53,861 --> 01:03:55,328
And then he'll be like--
1163
01:03:55,362 --> 01:03:56,386
Can you hear me?
1164
01:03:56,430 --> 01:03:58,660
Oh, yeah.
I hear you loud and clear.
1165
01:03:58,699 --> 01:04:00,291
You're sayin' ho's before bro's.
1166
01:04:00,334 --> 01:04:02,165
Well, that's not how I roll, asshole.
1167
01:04:02,202 --> 01:04:05,603
JB, it's KG. Do you read me?
1168
01:04:08,542 --> 01:04:10,442
What do you want, non-rocker?
1169
01:04:10,477 --> 01:04:12,536
This line is reserved for rockers only...
1170
01:04:12,579 --> 01:04:14,513
so I can't really talk
to you right now.
1171
01:04:14,548 --> 01:04:17,574
Sex, drugs, and then rock & roll.
1172
01:04:17,618 --> 01:04:19,586
In that order.
I was just followin' the code.
1173
01:04:19,620 --> 01:04:21,247
You're a fuckin' traitor.
1174
01:04:21,288 --> 01:04:23,051
You bailed on me,
and now I'm in the shit.
1175
01:04:23,090 --> 01:04:25,251
Where the fuck are you?
1176
01:04:27,394 --> 01:04:29,328
I'm in the air duct, dude.
1177
01:04:33,100 --> 01:04:38,561
- Dude. I totally missed you.
- Me too.
1178
01:04:51,919 --> 01:04:53,352
I just heard a noise.
1179
01:04:53,387 --> 01:04:55,912
I am trippin'.
1180
01:04:55,956 --> 01:04:57,890
Are you stoned?
1181
01:04:57,925 --> 01:04:59,790
Listen.
1182
01:05:01,862 --> 01:05:04,422
Uh, I just heard a noise.
1183
01:05:04,465 --> 01:05:06,194
- I'm gonna go check it out.
- Copy that.
1184
01:05:06,233 --> 01:05:07,894
Mm.
1185
01:05:28,856 --> 01:05:30,756
Uh--
1186
01:05:34,161 --> 01:05:36,459
Classic Rock is clear.
1187
01:05:36,497 --> 01:05:38,397
I'm gonna go check out Punk.
1188
01:05:38,432 --> 01:05:40,366
And if I find anybody in there...
1189
01:05:40,400 --> 01:05:43,198
I'm gonna pop a fuckin' cap
in their ass.
1190
01:05:43,237 --> 01:05:44,932
I'm gonna call it self-defense.
1191
01:05:44,972 --> 01:05:46,633
Hello?
1192
01:05:48,342 --> 01:05:49,502
I'm on my own.
1193
01:06:00,554 --> 01:06:02,715
Oh, God.
1194
01:06:05,559 --> 01:06:06,787
Dude, you heard that guy.
1195
01:06:06,827 --> 01:06:08,385
He's gonna shoot us. Let's bail.
1196
01:06:08,428 --> 01:06:10,328
No. We're too close.
1197
01:06:10,364 --> 01:06:11,661
That pick is in one of these rooms...
1198
01:06:11,698 --> 01:06:13,427
and we're not leavin' here
without it.
1199
01:06:13,467 --> 01:06:15,025
Dude, look at this place.
1200
01:06:15,068 --> 01:06:17,366
It's huge. We're never
gonna find this thing.
1201
01:06:17,404 --> 01:06:20,430
Follow me. We are the shadows.
1202
01:06:20,474 --> 01:06:23,034
They'll never find what cannot be seen.
1203
01:07:04,251 --> 01:07:06,719
Center.
1204
01:07:09,523 --> 01:07:10,888
Picks, picks.
1205
01:07:10,924 --> 01:07:13,290
Where do they keep their fuckin' picks?
1206
01:07:13,327 --> 01:07:14,885
It's gotta be in the Guitar Gods room.
1207
01:07:14,928 --> 01:07:16,418
- Where's that?
- It's right here.
1208
01:07:16,463 --> 01:07:19,193
At the top of Guitarway to Heaven.
1209
01:08:00,674 --> 01:08:02,039
There it is.
1210
01:08:06,113 --> 01:08:09,207
Fuck-a-luck-a-ding-dong.
1211
01:08:09,249 --> 01:08:10,876
- Let's go get it.
- No!
1212
01:08:12,886 --> 01:08:13,978
Lasers.
1213
01:08:14,021 --> 01:08:15,989
They'll slice you to pieces.
1214
01:08:16,023 --> 01:08:17,422
Sizzlelean.
1215
01:08:18,659 --> 01:08:21,127
You stay here and keep a lookout.
1216
01:08:21,161 --> 01:08:24,096
Wh--What are you gonna do?
1217
01:08:24,131 --> 01:08:26,599
I'm goin' in there and gettin' that pick.
1218
01:08:30,103 --> 01:08:31,764
# Danger #
1219
01:08:33,507 --> 01:08:35,566
# Laser #
1220
01:08:36,877 --> 01:08:38,538
# Tetris #
1221
01:08:39,980 --> 01:08:41,311
# lmpossible #
1222
01:08:41,348 --> 01:08:43,578
Be careful.
1223
01:08:43,617 --> 01:08:45,278
# Q-Bert #
1224
01:08:47,120 --> 01:08:48,451
# Frogger #
1225
01:08:49,022 --> 01:08:50,011
Uh! Uh!
1226
01:08:50,057 --> 01:08:52,753
# Dig Dug #
1227
01:08:52,793 --> 01:08:55,523
# Marble Madness #
1228
01:08:57,364 --> 01:08:58,695
# Centipede #
1229
01:08:58,732 --> 01:09:00,427
# Millipede #
1230
01:09:00,467 --> 01:09:01,798
# Tenacious #
1231
01:09:01,835 --> 01:09:02,961
You got it.
1232
01:09:04,137 --> 01:09:05,126
# lmpossible #
1233
01:09:06,039 --> 01:09:07,097
# lmpossible #
1234
01:09:09,543 --> 01:09:12,979
Can't...reach...pick.
1235
01:09:13,013 --> 01:09:15,277
Surrounded by lasers.
1236
01:09:15,315 --> 01:09:16,680
Focus, Jables.
1237
01:09:18,518 --> 01:09:21,043
Use all your mental powers.
1238
01:09:22,823 --> 01:09:25,155
Wait.
There's a button down here.
1239
01:09:26,827 --> 01:09:28,818
I think it might deactivate the lasers...
1240
01:09:29,730 --> 01:09:31,891
But I can't reach it.
1241
01:09:31,932 --> 01:09:33,365
The cock.
1242
01:09:34,668 --> 01:09:36,295
Use the cock.
1243
01:09:48,348 --> 01:09:50,509
Come on, helmet head.
1244
01:09:50,550 --> 01:09:51,744
Get it up.
1245
01:09:51,785 --> 01:09:53,343
# Cock #
1246
01:09:55,789 --> 01:09:57,814
Ooh.
1247
01:09:58,625 --> 01:10:01,458
# Cock, cock, cock #
1248
01:10:02,596 --> 01:10:04,393
# Cock, cock, cock #
1249
01:10:04,431 --> 01:10:06,228
Aaah! Mmm!
1250
01:10:06,266 --> 01:10:09,360
- # Cock, cock, cock, cock #
- Come to Papa.
1251
01:10:09,403 --> 01:10:11,735
- # Cock #
- Oh! Aaah!
1252
01:10:11,772 --> 01:10:13,433
Oh, yeah!
1253
01:10:25,585 --> 01:10:27,678
Let's finish this.
1254
01:10:33,293 --> 01:10:35,352
# Hey, hey, hey,
hey, hey, hey, hey #
1255
01:10:35,395 --> 01:10:37,625
# Prekeh-goo-goo-boo
ba-dum-biddly-beep-beep #
1256
01:10:38,799 --> 01:10:40,926
Aaah!
1257
01:10:40,967 --> 01:10:42,264
Fuck.
1258
01:10:42,302 --> 01:10:43,462
I can't reach it.
1259
01:10:43,503 --> 01:10:45,403
- I can't reach it.
- Hold on!
1260
01:10:46,506 --> 01:10:48,201
Aaaaah!
1261
01:10:49,676 --> 01:10:51,439
That's it, that's it.
1262
01:10:51,478 --> 01:10:53,036
I got it! I got it! Aaah!
1263
01:10:53,079 --> 01:10:54,546
- Aaah! Aaah!
- Aaah!
1264
01:10:58,418 --> 01:11:02,149
Ah! Aaah! Oh! Aaah!
1265
01:11:03,857 --> 01:11:05,256
- Uh...
- Oh!
1266
01:11:05,292 --> 01:11:08,318
Ha ha ha ha!
1267
01:11:08,929 --> 01:11:09,987
Aaaaaah!
1268
01:11:12,766 --> 01:11:14,393
Haul ass!
1269
01:11:18,104 --> 01:11:20,072
Aaaaaah!
1270
01:11:20,841 --> 01:11:22,502
Aaaaaah!
1271
01:11:26,847 --> 01:11:28,838
Halt! Stop!
1272
01:11:34,287 --> 01:11:35,276
Aaah!
1273
01:11:40,193 --> 01:11:45,028
Power slide!
1274
01:11:47,501 --> 01:11:51,494
# Yeah! #
1275
01:12:01,982 --> 01:12:05,509
- Oh, damn!
- Ugh! Why?
1276
01:12:07,354 --> 01:12:09,015
- That was awesome.
- I know.
1277
01:12:09,055 --> 01:12:10,989
I've never fired a gun before,
it was unbelievable.
1278
01:12:11,024 --> 01:12:13,151
Aah! Oh, God! Oh!
1279
01:12:13,193 --> 01:12:14,854
Oh! Hold up!
1280
01:12:16,763 --> 01:12:18,492
- We got it!
- Fuck, yeah.
1281
01:12:18,532 --> 01:12:19,760
Let's get the fuck outta here.
1282
01:12:19,799 --> 01:12:23,326
Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha!
1283
01:12:23,370 --> 01:12:25,338
Nice work, boys.
1284
01:12:25,372 --> 01:12:31,038
Now, toss that pick over here,
nice and slow.
1285
01:12:31,077 --> 01:12:34,513
Or I will cut you from hole to hole.
1286
01:12:34,548 --> 01:12:36,948
Then you might as well kill us, man...
1287
01:12:36,983 --> 01:12:38,473
'cause there is no way in hell...
1288
01:12:38,518 --> 01:12:39,917
we're givin' you this fuckin' pick.
1289
01:12:39,953 --> 01:12:41,978
OK.
1290
01:12:42,022 --> 01:12:44,252
So be it.
1291
01:12:44,291 --> 01:12:46,418
Come over here.
1292
01:12:46,459 --> 01:12:48,518
I'm going to fucking stab you.
1293
01:12:49,963 --> 01:12:52,523
What?
1294
01:12:52,566 --> 01:12:54,591
No. We're not comin' over there.
1295
01:12:54,634 --> 01:12:56,397
Fine.
1296
01:12:56,436 --> 01:12:58,904
Stay where you are, then.
1297
01:12:58,939 --> 01:13:00,668
I'm going to come over there.
1298
01:13:00,707 --> 01:13:05,610
I am going to slice out
your eyes and your balls.
1299
01:13:05,645 --> 01:13:09,547
And then I am going to stick
your eyes in your ballsacks...
1300
01:13:09,583 --> 01:13:11,107
and then I will take your balls...
1301
01:13:11,151 --> 01:13:13,676
and I will put them in your eyeholes!
1302
01:13:13,720 --> 01:13:15,347
Dude, we could totally outrun him.
1303
01:13:15,388 --> 01:13:16,946
Totally, let's bail.
1304
01:13:16,990 --> 01:13:19,925
N--No, wait! Co--Come back here!
1305
01:13:19,960 --> 01:13:21,052
Gaaah!
1306
01:13:21,094 --> 01:13:23,187
Come back with my pick!
1307
01:13:24,030 --> 01:13:25,463
It belongs to me!
1308
01:13:26,967 --> 01:13:28,400
Freeze!
1309
01:13:29,569 --> 01:13:32,697
Catch me if you can.
1310
01:13:35,275 --> 01:13:36,264
Aaah!
1311
01:13:38,878 --> 01:13:41,210
# Kings! #
1312
01:13:42,148 --> 01:13:46,141
Yeah! Yeah!
1313
01:13:47,520 --> 01:13:49,750
Whoo!
1314
01:13:49,789 --> 01:13:51,814
Fifty miles to Los Angeles.
1315
01:13:51,858 --> 01:13:52,847
- We did it!
- Yeah!
1316
01:13:52,892 --> 01:13:54,018
- Yeah!
- I know.
1317
01:13:54,060 --> 01:13:55,721
I'm surprised no one even chased us.
1318
01:13:55,762 --> 01:13:57,059
We got away scot-free.
1319
01:13:57,097 --> 01:13:59,622
- You fuckin' rule.
- No. You fuckin' rule.
1320
01:13:59,666 --> 01:14:02,726
Yeah, but I couldn't have done it
without your training.
1321
01:14:02,769 --> 01:14:04,862
Dude, let's see the pick.
1322
01:14:04,904 --> 01:14:06,633
- Oh, shit.
- Dude, you got it, right?
1323
01:14:06,673 --> 01:14:08,573
Yes! Ha ha ha!
1324
01:14:08,608 --> 01:14:10,269
- Look at how awesome it is!
- Ohhhh!
1325
01:14:10,310 --> 01:14:11,834
- Now we have the power.
- Yes!
1326
01:14:11,878 --> 01:14:14,312
We shall carry on its ancient legacy.
1327
01:14:14,347 --> 01:14:17,077
Dude, we are gonna smoke
the competition...
1328
01:14:17,117 --> 01:14:18,345
at the open mic night tonight.
1329
01:14:18,385 --> 01:14:20,319
- That money is ours!
- Mm. Totally.
1330
01:14:23,256 --> 01:14:25,986
Yeah, I got some, uh, fellas
with a broken taillight.
1331
01:14:27,360 --> 01:14:28,622
- Oh, fuck. It's the cops.
- Is it? Oh... Oo.
1332
01:14:28,662 --> 01:14:30,323
Pull over. Pull over. It's cool.
1333
01:14:30,363 --> 01:14:31,421
- OK.
- Pull over.
1334
01:14:32,332 --> 01:14:34,095
All right. Just play it cool.
1335
01:14:34,134 --> 01:14:36,159
M'kay? They got nothin' on us.
1336
01:14:36,202 --> 01:14:38,693
Let's just be mellow, OK?
1337
01:14:41,574 --> 01:14:43,007
What're you doing? No!
1338
01:14:43,043 --> 01:14:45,034
What the fuck are you doing?
1339
01:14:45,078 --> 01:14:46,739
This is Officer Mackenzie,
I need backup.
1340
01:14:46,780 --> 01:14:49,010
Assailants turning south
down Lexington Avenue.
1341
01:14:49,049 --> 01:14:50,038
I'm in pursuit.
1342
01:14:50,083 --> 01:14:52,449
Oh, God damn it, Kyle!
1343
01:14:52,485 --> 01:14:54,180
# Car chase city,
that's the name of the game #
1344
01:14:54,220 --> 01:14:55,209
- I want out!
-# It was all groovy #
1345
01:14:55,255 --> 01:14:56,483
# Now it's totally lame #
1346
01:14:56,523 --> 01:14:58,388
# KG really fuckin'
blew a synapse #
1347
01:14:58,425 --> 01:15:00,689
# Now we're fuckin' headed
for a total collapse #
1348
01:15:00,727 --> 01:15:02,354
# Car chase city,
run away from the fuzz #
1349
01:15:02,395 --> 01:15:04,556
# Thought that we wasn't
but we totally was #
1350
01:15:04,597 --> 01:15:06,292
# Car chase city,
now we're off-a the map #
1351
01:15:06,332 --> 01:15:07,959
# Car chase city,
now we're takin' a crap #
1352
01:15:08,001 --> 01:15:09,434
- # Now it's gettin' hairy #
- Oh, fuck!
1353
01:15:09,469 --> 01:15:10,629
- # So we're changin' the key #
- God damn it!
1354
01:15:10,670 --> 01:15:12,160
# Never underestimate
the power of D #
1355
01:15:12,205 --> 01:15:14,230
# KG fuckin' put his foot on the gas #
1356
01:15:14,274 --> 01:15:16,299
# If I go to prison,
hide the pick in my ass #
1357
01:15:16,342 --> 01:15:18,139
# Fuck this shit, it's gone too far #
1358
01:15:18,178 --> 01:15:20,339
# Kage, pull over,
let me out of the car #
1359
01:15:20,380 --> 01:15:22,507
The car is severely damaged.
1360
01:15:22,549 --> 01:15:25,347
The perpetrators appear to be
two heavyset males...
1361
01:15:25,385 --> 01:15:27,512
driving a blue Cutlass Supreme.
1362
01:15:27,554 --> 01:15:29,078
# Car chase city,
now we're takin' the lane #
1363
01:15:29,122 --> 01:15:31,056
# KG blew it now we're goin' insane #
1364
01:15:31,091 --> 01:15:34,492
# Let's rock, let's roll,
let me try to fill up your-- #
1365
01:15:34,527 --> 01:15:37,428
Let's go now to Mark in Skycop--
1366
01:15:39,232 --> 01:15:40,563
God damn it!
1367
01:15:42,368 --> 01:15:45,201
- Yeah?
- Hey, you guys!
1368
01:15:45,238 --> 01:15:46,830
- Fuck!
- It's Lee.
1369
01:15:46,873 --> 01:15:49,569
I'm just checkin' in.
Is everything OK?
1370
01:15:49,609 --> 01:15:51,668
Yeah, we're cool. We're super cool.
1371
01:15:51,711 --> 01:15:53,042
Ah! Ahh!
1372
01:15:53,079 --> 01:15:55,047
Um, where are you guys?
1373
01:15:55,081 --> 01:15:56,480
We're, uh, we're at the drive-in.
1374
01:15:56,516 --> 01:15:57,642
We're watchin this bitchin' movie.
1375
01:15:57,684 --> 01:15:59,515
It's, uh, Cop Chase 3.
Have you seen it?
1376
01:15:59,552 --> 01:16:04,580
Aaaaaah!
1377
01:16:04,624 --> 01:16:07,184
Uh, no. I haven't seen that one.
1378
01:16:07,227 --> 01:16:09,195
Whoa!
1379
01:16:09,229 --> 01:16:10,526
Sounds scary, though.
1380
01:16:10,563 --> 01:16:12,588
Yeah. Uh, it's really fucking scary.
1381
01:16:12,632 --> 01:16:14,691
I'm shaking right now, I'm so scared.
1382
01:16:14,734 --> 01:16:17,100
Cool. Well, how was that, uh...
1383
01:16:17,137 --> 01:16:19,162
big power meeting you guys had?
1384
01:16:19,205 --> 01:16:20,900
Awesome. I'll tell you about it later.
1385
01:16:20,940 --> 01:16:22,703
You're makin' us miss the movie.
1386
01:16:25,345 --> 01:16:27,210
I think I lost em!
1387
01:16:31,284 --> 01:16:32,876
Gaah!
1388
01:16:32,919 --> 01:16:35,820
# Gas! Brakes! #
1389
01:16:37,357 --> 01:16:39,154
# Spinnin' donuts,
spinnin' donuts, go! #
1390
01:16:39,192 --> 01:16:40,716
I can do this.
1391
01:16:40,760 --> 01:16:41,749
# Flip flip! #
1392
01:16:42,829 --> 01:16:44,990
- # Gas #
- Nooo!
1393
01:16:45,031 --> 01:16:47,329
- # Nitro! #
- Go!
1394
01:16:47,367 --> 01:16:50,302
# Aaaaah! #
1395
01:17:05,819 --> 01:17:07,912
We're gonna need
paramedics and fire trucks.
1396
01:17:07,954 --> 01:17:09,945
These guys are toast.
1397
01:17:16,462 --> 01:17:18,623
Let's get the fuck outta here.
1398
01:17:18,665 --> 01:17:20,530
Let's go.
1399
01:17:20,567 --> 01:17:23,035
Uh, which way, which way?
1400
01:17:23,069 --> 01:17:24,161
OK, where?
1401
01:17:24,204 --> 01:17:26,035
That way! That way!
1402
01:17:28,208 --> 01:17:30,369
This is it, I think.
1403
01:17:30,410 --> 01:17:33,072
Uh! Oooh! Uh!
1404
01:17:33,112 --> 01:17:35,342
- Lemme sneak a peek.
- OK.
1405
01:17:38,618 --> 01:17:41,212
Uh! Huh.
1406
01:17:41,254 --> 01:17:42,915
- This is it.
- Oh.
1407
01:17:46,192 --> 01:17:47,682
C'mon.
1408
01:17:47,727 --> 01:17:49,024
Oh, fuck.
1409
01:17:49,062 --> 01:17:51,053
- Let's do this.
- OK.
1410
01:17:52,232 --> 01:17:54,359
Hey. Hey.
1411
01:17:54,400 --> 01:17:55,697
Hey, guys, you're runnin' a little late.
1412
01:17:55,735 --> 01:17:57,566
There's one spot left.
You got any new material?
1413
01:17:57,604 --> 01:18:00,300
What we got's gonna turn
your brain into shit.
1414
01:18:00,340 --> 01:18:04,037
Dust off the stage,
open mic host. Step aside.
1415
01:18:05,111 --> 01:18:06,601
OK, big shots.
1416
01:18:06,646 --> 01:18:08,045
You're up whenever you're ready.
1417
01:18:08,081 --> 01:18:10,515
Let's blister this asshole.
1418
01:18:10,550 --> 01:18:12,711
Jack, wait! You got the pick?
1419
01:18:12,752 --> 01:18:14,083
Yeah. Got it right here.
Let's go.
1420
01:18:14,120 --> 01:18:17,021
Maybe I should use it tonight
and you use it next time.
1421
01:18:17,056 --> 01:18:18,751
I should use it tonight.
I'm the lead singer.
1422
01:18:18,791 --> 01:18:21,692
Huh! It's a guitar pick.
I'm lead guitar.
1423
01:18:21,728 --> 01:18:23,320
OK, dude, don't freak out on me.
1424
01:18:23,363 --> 01:18:25,228
Let's just work this out rationally, OK?
1425
01:18:25,265 --> 01:18:26,459
We'll take turns with it.
1426
01:18:26,499 --> 01:18:27,898
I'll use it now, you'll use it later.
1427
01:18:27,934 --> 01:18:30,562
I'm not freakin' out,
you're freakin' out.
1428
01:18:30,603 --> 01:18:33,333
Now, just let me hold it
for one second!
1429
01:18:33,373 --> 01:18:36,240
You're never gonna use
this fuckin' pick.
1430
01:18:37,443 --> 01:18:38,432
Aaah!
1431
01:18:38,478 --> 01:18:39,604
Aaaah!
1432
01:18:39,646 --> 01:18:41,637
- No!
- No!
1433
01:18:41,681 --> 01:18:43,512
You guys, the crowd's
gettin' restless in there.
1434
01:18:43,549 --> 01:18:44,538
- No!
- Hey, wh-what's--
1435
01:18:44,584 --> 01:18:46,381
What's goin' on?
1436
01:18:46,419 --> 01:18:48,046
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey,
what's wrong?
1437
01:18:48,087 --> 01:18:50,055
We can't go on.
1438
01:18:50,089 --> 01:18:52,421
We had the demon's pick...
1439
01:18:52,458 --> 01:18:53,584
but then we broke it...
1440
01:18:53,626 --> 01:18:56,561
and now our masterpiece
will never happen.
1441
01:18:56,596 --> 01:19:00,032
We can't pay the rent because
we won't be fueled by Satan.
1442
01:19:00,066 --> 01:19:02,364
Come on, get up, get up.
1443
01:19:02,402 --> 01:19:05,894
Come on, come on. Stand up.
You're all right.
1444
01:19:05,939 --> 01:19:09,807
You guys, having
some satanic guitar pick...
1445
01:19:09,842 --> 01:19:12,072
isn't gonna make
your rock any better...
1446
01:19:12,111 --> 01:19:14,739
because Satan's not
in a guitar pick...
1447
01:19:14,781 --> 01:19:16,373
he's inside all of us.
1448
01:19:16,416 --> 01:19:18,179
He's in here.
1449
01:19:18,217 --> 01:19:19,878
In your hearts.
1450
01:19:19,919 --> 01:19:22,752
He's what makes us
not want to go to work...
1451
01:19:22,789 --> 01:19:26,316
exercise, or tell the truth.
1452
01:19:26,359 --> 01:19:27,951
He's what makes us want to party...
1453
01:19:27,994 --> 01:19:30,462
and have sex with each other
all night long.
1454
01:19:31,531 --> 01:19:34,193
He's that little voice in your mind...
1455
01:19:34,233 --> 01:19:37,725
that says, "Fuck you"
to the people you hate.
1456
01:19:37,770 --> 01:19:40,637
Now, you can stay out here
and fight on the ground...
1457
01:19:40,673 --> 01:19:43,198
and cry like babies.
1458
01:19:43,242 --> 01:19:48,407
Or you can go in there
like friends and rock.
1459
01:19:49,949 --> 01:19:52,247
So, what's it gonna be?
1460
01:19:54,053 --> 01:19:57,614
Let's go in there and show 'em
what Tenacious D is all about.
1461
01:19:57,657 --> 01:19:58,988
Yeah.
1462
01:19:59,025 --> 01:20:02,324
I already got a guitar pick anyways.
1463
01:20:05,965 --> 01:20:07,626
C'mon.
1464
01:20:42,435 --> 01:20:44,630
Dude, we can still use the pick.
1465
01:20:44,670 --> 01:20:46,467
You use one half, I'll use the other.
1466
01:20:46,506 --> 01:20:47,768
There's still some juice
in there, probably.
1467
01:20:47,807 --> 01:20:48,796
- You know what I mean?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
1468
01:20:48,841 --> 01:20:50,399
Where is that...?
1469
01:20:50,443 --> 01:20:51,637
Aaaah!
1470
01:21:00,853 --> 01:21:04,380
# I am complete #
1471
01:21:04,424 --> 01:21:08,155
# Fu-uck #
1472
01:21:08,194 --> 01:21:10,025
# Yes, you are fucked #
1473
01:21:10,063 --> 01:21:11,724
# Shit out of luck #
1474
01:21:11,764 --> 01:21:14,892
# Now I'm complete
and my cock you will suck #
1475
01:21:14,934 --> 01:21:16,993
# This world will be mine #
1476
01:21:17,036 --> 01:21:18,833
# And you're first in line #
1477
01:21:18,871 --> 01:21:22,739
# You brought me the pick
and now you shall both die #
1478
01:21:22,775 --> 01:21:29,874
# Wait, wait, wait,
you motherfucker #
1479
01:21:30,450 --> 01:21:35,786
# We challenge you
to a rock-off #
1480
01:21:37,924 --> 01:21:42,793
# Give us one chance
to rock your socks off #
1481
01:21:44,630 --> 01:21:50,068
# Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! #
1482
01:21:50,103 --> 01:21:53,504
# The demon code prevents me #
1483
01:21:53,539 --> 01:21:57,498
# From declining
a rock-off challenge #
1484
01:21:57,543 --> 01:22:00,444
# What are your terms? #
1485
01:22:00,480 --> 01:22:04,109
# What's the ca-a-atch? #
1486
01:22:05,651 --> 01:22:13,490
# If we win you must take
your sorry ass back to hell #
1487
01:22:14,660 --> 01:22:22,226
# And also you will have
to pay our rent #
1488
01:22:24,737 --> 01:22:27,262
# And what if I win? #
1489
01:22:29,242 --> 01:22:34,339
# Then you can take
Kage back to Hell #
1490
01:22:34,380 --> 01:22:35,404
What?
1491
01:22:35,448 --> 01:22:36,972
Trust me, Kage.
1492
01:22:37,016 --> 01:22:38,415
It's the only way.
1493
01:22:38,451 --> 01:22:39,816
What are you talking about?
1494
01:22:39,852 --> 01:22:43,583
# To be your little bitch #
1495
01:22:43,623 --> 01:22:45,215
Fine!
1496
01:22:45,258 --> 01:22:48,455
# Let the rock-off begin! #
1497
01:22:48,494 --> 01:22:51,429
Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha!
1498
01:22:55,668 --> 01:22:59,502
# I'm the Devil, I love metal #
1499
01:23:02,742 --> 01:23:06,769
# Check this riff,
it's fucking tasty #
1500
01:23:10,583 --> 01:23:14,178
# I'm the Devil,
I can do what I want #
1501
01:23:14,220 --> 01:23:17,348
# Whatever I've got,
I'm gonna flaunt #
1502
01:23:17,390 --> 01:23:22,521
# There's never been
a rock-off that I've ever lost #
1503
01:23:25,164 --> 01:23:28,565
# I can't wait to take
Kage back to hell #
1504
01:23:28,601 --> 01:23:32,560
# I'm gonna fill him
with my hot demon's gel #
1505
01:23:32,605 --> 01:23:36,234
# I'll make you squeal
like the Scarlet Pimpernel #
1506
01:23:39,478 --> 01:23:41,912
# No! #
1507
01:23:43,916 --> 01:23:45,042
Come on, Kage!
1508
01:23:45,084 --> 01:23:49,180
Let's fight his music with our music.
1509
01:23:49,222 --> 01:23:52,055
# There's just no way
that we can win #
1510
01:23:52,091 --> 01:23:54,719
- # That was a masterpiece #
- Listen to me.
1511
01:23:54,760 --> 01:23:58,924
# He rocks too hard
because he's not a mortal man #
1512
01:23:58,965 --> 01:24:00,023
Goddamnit, Kage.
1513
01:24:00,066 --> 01:24:03,160
# He gonna make you
his sex slave #
1514
01:24:03,202 --> 01:24:05,261
# You gonna gargle mayonnaise #
1515
01:24:05,304 --> 01:24:06,862
- No.
-# Unless we bust #
1516
01:24:06,906 --> 01:24:09,898
# A massive monster mamojam #
1517
01:24:09,942 --> 01:24:13,901
# Dude, we've been
through so much shit #
1518
01:24:13,946 --> 01:24:16,540
# Deactivated lasers
with my dick #
1519
01:24:16,582 --> 01:24:22,282
# Now it's time
to blow this fucker down #
1520
01:24:22,321 --> 01:24:25,586
# Come on, Kage, now
it's time to blow doors down #
1521
01:24:25,625 --> 01:24:28,788
# I hear ya, Jables, now
it's time to blow doors down #
1522
01:24:28,828 --> 01:24:31,763
# Light up the stage 'cause
it's time for a showdown #
1523
01:24:31,797 --> 01:24:34,527
# We'll bend you over then we'll
take ya to brown town #
1524
01:24:34,567 --> 01:24:38,298
# Now we've got
to blow this fucker down #
1525
01:24:38,337 --> 01:24:41,135
# He's gonna rape me
if we do not blow doors down #
1526
01:24:41,173 --> 01:24:43,573
# C'mon, Kage 'cause it's time
to blow doors down #
1527
01:24:43,609 --> 01:24:46,578
# Ooooh we'll pile-drive ya,
it's time for the smack down #
1528
01:24:46,612 --> 01:24:49,581
# Hey, Antichrist-a, Beelzeboss #
1529
01:24:49,615 --> 01:24:51,105
# We know your weakness #
1530
01:24:51,150 --> 01:24:52,742
# Our rock it sauce #
1531
01:24:52,785 --> 01:24:55,879
# We rock the Casbah,
and blow your mind #
1532
01:24:55,921 --> 01:24:59,084
# We will defeat you
for all mankind #
1533
01:24:59,125 --> 01:25:02,117
# You hold the scepter,
we hold the key #
1534
01:25:02,161 --> 01:25:05,289
# You are the Devil,
we are the D #
1535
01:25:05,331 --> 01:25:07,424
# We are the D,
we are the D, we are the D #
1536
01:25:07,466 --> 01:25:10,492
# We are the D, we are the D,
we are the D, we are the D #
1537
01:25:10,536 --> 01:25:12,970
# We are the D,
we are the D, we are the D #
1538
01:25:13,005 --> 01:25:16,065
# We are the D, we are the D,
we are the D, we are the D #
1539
01:25:16,108 --> 01:25:19,009
# We are the D,
we are the D, we are the D #
1540
01:25:21,314 --> 01:25:22,747
You guys are fuckin' lame!
1541
01:25:22,782 --> 01:25:24,682
C'mon, Kage,
you're comin' with me.
1542
01:25:26,185 --> 01:25:28,653
Taste my lightning, fucker.
1543
01:25:28,688 --> 01:25:30,815
Nooo!
1544
01:25:30,856 --> 01:25:32,153
Ow!
1545
01:25:32,191 --> 01:25:34,785
Fuck! My fuckin' horn!
1546
01:25:35,861 --> 01:25:37,795
- Oh, no!
- From whence you came...
1547
01:25:37,830 --> 01:25:42,028
you shall remain,
until you are complete again!
1548
01:25:42,735 --> 01:25:46,432
Nooo!
1549
01:25:54,814 --> 01:25:57,044
Fuck you, Kage!
1550
01:25:57,083 --> 01:26:00,177
And fuck you, Jables.
1551
01:26:00,219 --> 01:26:04,212
I'll get you, Tenacious D!
1552
01:26:24,744 --> 01:26:28,111
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
1553
01:26:28,147 --> 01:26:29,478
We did it, dude.
1554
01:26:30,282 --> 01:26:32,273
We beat the Devil.
1555
01:26:32,318 --> 01:26:33,979
With our rock.
1556
01:26:34,019 --> 01:26:36,715
Ha ha ha! So good.
1557
01:26:36,756 --> 01:26:40,157
Aaah, man, that was
a monster jam that we played.
1558
01:26:40,192 --> 01:26:41,523
Yeah. Yeah.
1559
01:26:41,560 --> 01:26:44,654
It was, like,
the greatest song in the world.
1560
01:26:44,697 --> 01:26:45,755
It was, wasn't it?
1561
01:26:45,798 --> 01:26:48,699
- How did it go?
- Um....
1562
01:26:51,337 --> 01:26:53,532
- I can't remember.
- Fuck. I can't either.
1563
01:26:53,572 --> 01:26:56,837
You know what? Let's just
lay down a fresh, tasty jam.
1564
01:26:56,876 --> 01:26:59,208
Good idea, rage Kage.
1565
01:26:59,245 --> 01:27:02,180
- Bust out the BOD.
- What?
1566
01:27:02,214 --> 01:27:03,704
The Bong of Destiny.
1567
01:27:03,749 --> 01:27:05,876
Good call.
1568
01:27:05,918 --> 01:27:07,579
Whoa.
1569
01:27:10,956 --> 01:27:12,719
Take it to the head, bitch.
1570
01:27:14,760 --> 01:27:16,250
Draws like a pencil.
1571
01:27:18,130 --> 01:27:20,189
Press record.
1572
01:27:21,634 --> 01:27:23,465
Ooooh!
1573
01:27:23,502 --> 01:27:26,232
- Ha ha ha!
- Yeah!
1574
01:27:26,272 --> 01:27:28,934
Now let's rock it.
1575
01:27:28,974 --> 01:27:30,373
One, two, three.
1576
01:27:30,409 --> 01:27:34,505
# 'Cause it's
the Pick of Destiny, child #
1577
01:27:34,547 --> 01:27:37,846
# You know we will be rockin'
'cause it's fuckin' insane #
1578
01:27:37,883 --> 01:27:41,944
# It's just the Pick of Destiny, child #
1579
01:27:41,987 --> 01:27:45,889
# More precious than
a diamond on a platinum chain #
1580
01:27:45,925 --> 01:27:49,725
# In Venice Beach
there was a man named Kage #
1581
01:27:49,762 --> 01:27:53,391
# When he was buskin'
he was all the rage #
1582
01:27:53,432 --> 01:27:57,095
# He met Jables
and he taught him well #
1583
01:27:57,136 --> 01:28:00,936
# All the techniques
that were developed in Hell #
1584
01:28:00,973 --> 01:28:04,409
# Cock push-ups
and the power slide #
1585
01:28:04,443 --> 01:28:08,174
# Gig simulation,
now there's nowhere to hide #
1586
01:28:08,214 --> 01:28:11,809
# They formed a band
they named Tenacious D #
1587
01:28:11,851 --> 01:28:14,649
# And then they got
the Pick of Destiny #
1588
01:28:14,687 --> 01:28:18,646
# 'Cause it's the Pick of Destiny, child #
1589
01:28:18,691 --> 01:28:22,024
# You know we will be rockin'
'cause it's fuckin' insane #
1590
01:28:22,061 --> 01:28:26,293
# It's just the Pick of Destiny, child #
1591
01:28:26,332 --> 01:28:29,790
# Our tasty grooves are better
than a chicken chow mein #
1592
01:28:29,835 --> 01:28:33,601
# 'Cause he who is sleazy
is easy to pleasey #
1593
01:28:33,639 --> 01:28:37,166
# And she who is juicy
must be loosey-goosey #
1594
01:28:37,209 --> 01:28:42,044
# And he who is groovy will
be in my movie so come on! #
1595
01:28:44,717 --> 01:28:48,414
# The wizard and the demon
had a battle royale #
1596
01:28:48,454 --> 01:28:52,117
# The demon almost killed him
with an evil kapow #
1597
01:28:52,157 --> 01:28:55,251
# But then it broke his tooth
and thus the demon said, "Ow!" #
1598
01:28:55,294 --> 01:28:59,492
# 'Cause it's the Pick of Destiny, child #
1599
01:28:59,532 --> 01:29:02,695
# You know we will be rockin'
'cause it's fuckin' insane #
1600
01:29:02,735 --> 01:29:06,865
# It's just the Pick of Destiny, child #
1601
01:29:06,906 --> 01:29:10,433
# You know our movie's
better than-a Citizen Kane #
1602
01:29:10,476 --> 01:29:14,105
# 'Cause he who's a geezer
must live in my freezer #
1603
01:29:14,146 --> 01:29:17,980
# And she who is snarky
is full of malarkey #
1604
01:29:18,017 --> 01:29:23,819
# And he who is groovy must
be in my movie so come on! #
1605
01:29:35,601 --> 01:29:40,197
# Oh, 'cause if you're a diva
then go to Geneva #
1606
01:29:40,239 --> 01:29:43,902
# And if you're a crony
then suck on my boney #
1607
01:29:43,943 --> 01:29:47,106
# And if you are groovy
then get in my movie #
1608
01:29:47,146 --> 01:29:51,207
# It's called the Pick of Destiny #
1609
01:29:51,250 --> 01:29:55,554
# The Pick of Destiny #
1610
01:29:55,554 --> 01:29:55,952
# The Pick of Destiny #
1611
01:30:04,830 --> 01:30:06,695
# You can't kill the metal #
1612
01:30:09,234 --> 01:30:10,792
# The metal will live on #
1613
01:30:13,038 --> 01:30:15,506
# Punk rock tried to kill the metal #
1614
01:30:17,242 --> 01:30:20,769
# But they failed as they
were smite to the ground #
1615
01:30:22,681 --> 01:30:25,548
# New wave tried to kill the metal #
1616
01:30:25,584 --> 01:30:29,953
# But they failed as they were
stricken down to the ground #
1617
01:30:31,223 --> 01:30:34,124
# Grunge tried to kill the metal #
1618
01:30:34,159 --> 01:30:35,820
Ah ha ha ha!
1619
01:30:35,861 --> 01:30:39,558
# They failed as they were
thrown to the ground #
1620
01:30:42,534 --> 01:30:46,903
# Aaaah! #
1621
01:30:46,939 --> 01:30:48,770
# Yeah! #
1622
01:30:51,076 --> 01:30:55,308
# Aaaah! #
1623
01:30:55,347 --> 01:30:57,679
# Yeah! #
1624
01:30:57,716 --> 01:30:59,775
# Diddle-iddle-iddle,
diddle-iddle-iddle, iddle-ay #
1625
01:30:59,818 --> 01:31:03,777
# No one can destroy the metal #
1626
01:31:03,822 --> 01:31:08,225
# The metal will strike you down
with a vicious blow #
1627
01:31:08,260 --> 01:31:12,424
# We are the vanquished foes of the metal #
1628
01:31:12,464 --> 01:31:16,992
# We tried to win,
for why we do not know #
1629
01:31:17,036 --> 01:31:20,528
# New wave
tried to destroy the metal #
1630
01:31:20,572 --> 01:31:25,566
# But the metal had its way #
1631
01:31:25,611 --> 01:31:29,513
# Grunge then tried to dethrone the metal #
1632
01:31:29,548 --> 01:31:34,178
# But metal was in the way #
1633
01:31:34,219 --> 01:31:38,155
# Punk rock tried to destroy the metal #
1634
01:31:38,190 --> 01:31:42,559
# But metal was much too strong #
1635
01:31:42,594 --> 01:31:46,690
# Techno tried to defile the metal #
1636
01:31:46,732 --> 01:31:52,466
# But techno was proven wrong, yeah! #
1637
01:31:54,907 --> 01:31:56,568
# Metal! #
1638
01:31:58,644 --> 01:32:00,771
# It comes from Hell! #
1639
01:33:00,739 --> 01:33:02,604
All right, man.
1640
01:33:02,641 --> 01:33:04,233
This is it.
1641
01:33:04,276 --> 01:33:08,144
Don't make a sound
unless it's a masterpiece.
1642
01:33:08,180 --> 01:33:10,410
Not a fuckin' sound.
1643
01:33:12,351 --> 01:33:13,909
Wait.
1644
01:33:13,952 --> 01:33:15,749
How will I know if it's a masterpiece?
1645
01:33:17,156 --> 01:33:18,418
You'll feel it.
1646
01:33:18,457 --> 01:33:20,755
And if you feel it,
just fuckin' lay it on me.
1647
01:33:37,376 --> 01:33:39,276
Aaah!
1648
01:33:39,311 --> 01:33:40,300
OK.
1649
01:33:54,026 --> 01:33:55,357
Thought I felt somethin'.
1650
01:33:57,863 --> 01:33:59,660
Let's hear that back.
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