Genre: Comedy, Drama, Romance
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Good for you, Pete. Good for you.
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Access Hollywood spotlight
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on sexy crime fighter Sarah Marshall.
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Hi, everybody, welcome
to Access Hollywood. I'm Billy Bush.
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Each week, millions of viewers love to watch
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Ms Marshall's brainy sexpot character,
Maddy Stark,
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alongside Billy Baldwin's
dark and brooding,
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hard-to-love lead detective, Hunter Rush.
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- And this isn't your jurisdiction.
- I just made it my jurisdiction.
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Can you say "catfight"?
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Off-screen, Sarah cosies up
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to her successful composer boyfriend,
Peter Bretter.
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He's no household name,
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yet Bretter's dark and ominous score has
set the tone for this gruesome juggernaut.
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Take a look.
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What do you think?
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I think it's gonna be hard
for her to re-enter the pageant
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without a face.
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Looks like the sky's the limit
for this adorable couple.
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Anything could happen.
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We got to do something
We got to do something
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Before Mother Earth gets any more hurt
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We got to do something
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We leave you tonight with the newest
smash single from Infant Sorrow.
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Lead singer and notorious lothario,
Aldous Snow, begs us to change
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in his environmental anthem,
We've Got to Do Something.
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I hope, for once, we all hear the message.
Good night.
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Mr Prime Minister and Mr President
You better see that it's not only me
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No, a mob is rising in size
And they've been dying to scream
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Hey, baby.
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Just working.
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Salad.
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Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Totally.
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I didn't realise that
you were gonna be back so early.
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Great. I'll see you in a bit.
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Okay, bye.
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It's time to do something
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Someone should do something
We got to do something
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And that someone is you and you
And you and you
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I pray it ain't all lost and gone
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I pray we might learn right from wrong
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And I pray this broken day
will not last too long
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Hey, you got here fast.
I got a surprise for you.
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Peter, as you know,
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I love you very much.
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Are you breaking up with me?
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- Pete, are you...
- I just need a minute.
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Okay.
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Please don't go.
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Why don't you just put on some clothes,
and we can sit down and discuss this.
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No. I can't do anything right now.
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I'm so sorry, Pete.
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I'm in love with you.
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Why don't you just
put some clothes on, okay?
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I'm not going to go put clothes on.
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I know what that means,
if I put clothes on, it's over. Okay?
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Excuse me.
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Let's talk. Let's talk about him.
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I feel...
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I've been feeling
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for a long time
that we've been growing apart.
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We're leading different lives.
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Who's the dude?
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- Who's the dude?
- What?
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No, that's not what this is about.
There's no one else.
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I know what's happening here. I really do.
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You've been working so much lately, that we
haven't got to spend much time together,
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and you're forgetting
what it's like to be with me.
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But maybe, if we just held each other
or something,
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you would remember
what it's like to be with me.
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- No.
- Just hold me.
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Please. Here we go.
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There's someone else.
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I'm sorry.
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We don't hang out in places like this,
Liz and I.
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Why did you take me here?
This place smells like stripper's perfume.
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I'm gonna get herpes
just from sitting on this couch.
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- Sure you okay, bro? Yeah?
- Yeah.
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Yeah. You don't have to keep asking me.
I'm good.
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- You're out!
- Thank you so much for this opportunity.
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- Auf Wiedersehen!
- Auf Wiedersehen!
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MAN ON T. V..:
Thank you. Thank you all.
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Auf Wiedersehen!
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I feel really good. I feel happy.
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Maybe you should work
on the Dracula musical.
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Look, you've been working on it for a while.
It'll help your mind. Be creative.
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- Think about you.
- I think I need to fuck somebody.
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Whoa, whoa, whoa!
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You're not my stepbrother any more.
You're a step-stranger.
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- Why you talking like that?
- Brian!
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You don't need to put
your P in a V right now.
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No, I don't.
I need to B my L on somebody's T's.
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That's disgusting.
You don't need to be doing that.
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And if anything,
you should leave your P in the V
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and blow it inside the V,
so you can have a B-A-B-Y
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and be a normal person.
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I'm leaving, man. I'm out of here.
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She's fucking somebody.
Okay, Bri? It's all I can think about,
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is that she's out there,
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and until I do the same thing,
I'm gonna feel like I wanna die.
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So just talk to girls with me tonight,
all right?
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All right. All right, I'll help you out.
I'll talk to girls with you.
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So, Peter, what do you do?
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Musician.
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He's being modest.
He works on a show called Crime Scene.
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Oh, my God!
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- It is what it is, you know?
- No, I love that show.
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Wait, Crime Scene: Scene of the Crime
or Crime Scene: Phoenix?
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- Scene of the Crime.
- Oh, my God! I love that show.
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I find you both very sexually attractive.
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Let's pump the brakes. Okay?
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I think that having sex with either of you
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would be a great treat for me.
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You are so funny.
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I just got out of
a five-and-a-half-year relationship,
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so I'm not looking for anything serious.
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- Just sexual activity.
- Let's wrap it up, buddy.
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You wanna come home?
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I'm sorry, you're cracking me up.
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- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.
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Do you wanna come home?
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Stop it, seriously.
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- That was fun.
- Yeah, yeah.
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Overall, I think that went really well. Yeah.
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I want to have sex with you!
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- Are you crying?
- What? No.
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I'm sorry that I'm being so weird now.
128
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No, that's okay.
129
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You've been weird
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pretty much the whole time,
so it's not unusual. Okay.
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Last night, like some sort of idiot, I had sex
with this woman who I barely even know.
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I used a condom, but
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I'm really scared that I have an STD, Doc.
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Peter, I'm a paediatrician. Have you noticed
you're sitting on a fire truck?
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- Right.
- Little kids running?
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- Yeah, this is new. I like it.
- I'm kind of backed up...
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Could you take a look at my penis?
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Go ahead. Let me see it.
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00:10:00,164 --> 00:10:02,632
- Sorry.
- That's all right. Take it out.
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Good.
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- You barely looked at it.
- It's a good-looking dick, Peter.
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- Beautiful dick.
- Do you think maybe while I'm here,
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- I could get some blood work?
- Peter!
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Your girlfriend dumped you, right?
Are you hurting? Are you hurt?
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Stop it. Stop crying. Use your dick.
Keep fucking. Fuck everything that moves.
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Just wear a condom.
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Listen, I'm backed up,
I got a lot of kids. I gotta go, okay?
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You want something?
You want a balloon? You want a lolly?
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I just came!
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Hi.
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Hi.
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- Hi.
- Hi.
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00:11:01,980 --> 00:11:03,129
Hi.
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00:11:06,460 --> 00:11:08,815
- Hi.
- Hi.
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Okay, do you mind not saying that
over and over again?
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You can gag me.
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- You brought a gag?
- And handcuffs.
158
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Do you wanna gag me?
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00:11:27,260 --> 00:11:28,659
Kind of, now.
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What've we got today?
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Just a walk and talk at the lab.
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That's what 20 years on Vice will do to you.
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What've we got here?
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The victim's penis was found
behind the AC unit.
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Ouch!
166
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Can you say "dicksicle"?
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Let's do this.
168
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Okay, I'm ready.
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00:12:01,300 --> 00:12:04,258
The victim's penis
was found behind the AC unit.
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00:12:07,820 --> 00:12:10,698
Just go with the usual stuff, maybe.
Something dark and ominous.
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Like losing your penis is a bad thing.
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Oh, you want dark and ominous.
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Come on, I got Allman Brother tickets,
I gotta get out of here!
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00:12:23,220 --> 00:12:25,973
That's what 20 years on Vice will do to you.
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00:12:27,260 --> 00:12:29,057
What've we got here?
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00:12:29,180 --> 00:12:31,250
Peter! Peter, Jesus Christ!
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00:12:31,380 --> 00:12:34,099
You're fucking Billy Baldwin, aren't you?
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- Aren't you?
- Pete, Pete, Pete.
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- Stop staring at me.
- Pete!
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You know you're not getting paid
for today's session, right?
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- I'm aware of that.
- Fucking asshole.
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00:12:47,100 --> 00:12:49,056
Peter, it's Brian.
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Go away.
184
00:12:52,340 --> 00:12:54,615
Listen, your landlord called me.
185
00:12:54,740 --> 00:12:56,253
Said there's smoke
coming out of your place.
186
00:12:56,380 --> 00:12:59,099
Who, Mr Lopez? 'Cause he's a liar!
187
00:12:59,820 --> 00:13:00,775
He doesn't...
188
00:13:01,020 --> 00:13:02,817
We worry about you, Petey.
189
00:13:02,940 --> 00:13:05,170
Yeah, come on, Peter. Open up the door.
190
00:13:05,300 --> 00:13:08,372
The fire marshal's gonna come in
and bust it down.
191
00:13:14,260 --> 00:13:16,091
You haven't been
out of the house in two weeks.
192
00:13:16,220 --> 00:13:17,209
Why are you so damn strong?
193
00:13:17,340 --> 00:13:19,774
I feel so strong!
194
00:13:20,180 --> 00:13:23,411
Hey, don't walk away from me.
You come close.
195
00:13:24,980 --> 00:13:26,732
Your place is disgusting, Peter.
196
00:13:26,860 --> 00:13:27,815
Hey, don't walk away from me.
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00:13:27,940 --> 00:13:28,895
Whoa, whoa, whoa! Hey!
198
00:13:30,762 --> 00:13:32,480
What are you burning, man? Come on.
199
00:13:32,602 --> 00:13:33,591
It's everything.
200
00:13:33,722 --> 00:13:36,282
It's everything that reminds me of her
and I need it gone!
201
00:13:36,402 --> 00:13:40,395
Okay, I thought I was fine, Brian,
and I'm not. I'm not fine at all.
202
00:13:40,562 --> 00:13:43,281
Okay, let's just put the picture down.
203
00:13:43,402 --> 00:13:46,200
Put that down. Let's discuss this.
204
00:13:46,322 --> 00:13:48,278
- I love her, man.
- I know.
205
00:13:48,522 --> 00:13:54,040
Look, Liz and I, we think the world of Sarah.
206
00:13:54,162 --> 00:13:55,914
We think she's great.
207
00:13:56,442 --> 00:13:58,273
Okay, but everything...
208
00:13:58,842 --> 00:14:00,400
I'm just being honest here.
209
00:14:00,522 --> 00:14:03,594
Every time she would come over
to our house,
210
00:14:04,762 --> 00:14:06,400
she always acted,
211
00:14:07,522 --> 00:14:10,673
you know, like a little bitch!
212
00:14:11,842 --> 00:14:13,594
Okay, okay, pump the brakes.
213
00:14:13,722 --> 00:14:16,839
Dating Sarah is not like dating Liz. Okay?
214
00:14:16,962 --> 00:14:18,793
Sarah is better than Liz.
215
00:14:18,922 --> 00:14:21,516
You really wanna have this conversation?
216
00:14:22,362 --> 00:14:25,035
Do you really
wanna have this conversation?
217
00:14:26,282 --> 00:14:27,271
Yes.
218
00:14:27,402 --> 00:14:29,154
- She is the mother of my unborn child.
- Sorry.
219
00:14:29,282 --> 00:14:30,556
You're my stepbrother.
We're not even blood.
220
00:14:32,202 --> 00:14:34,591
I have no qualms with sticking you.
I will equalize you.
221
00:14:34,722 --> 00:14:36,235
- Sorry.
- You dick!
222
00:14:36,562 --> 00:14:37,995
I'm just worked up.
223
00:14:38,802 --> 00:14:41,270
You gotta get your shit together, man.
224
00:14:41,562 --> 00:14:43,359
I'm trying to. It's so hard here.
225
00:14:45,002 --> 00:14:46,640
Brian, everywhere I look,
I'm reminded of her, okay?
226
00:14:46,762 --> 00:14:49,435
Like, she got me this,
227
00:14:50,122 --> 00:14:53,034
okay, because I would always leave
my cereal boxes open,
228
00:14:53,162 --> 00:14:54,436
and the cereal would get stale,
229
00:14:54,562 --> 00:14:57,201
and so one day I came home,
and she had this waiting for me,
230
00:14:57,322 --> 00:15:01,361
because it keeps my cereal fresh.
And now I have the freshest cereal.
231
00:15:04,562 --> 00:15:06,200
Why don't you,
you know what, go on a vacation?
232
00:15:06,322 --> 00:15:07,914
Go to the Alps.
233
00:15:08,042 --> 00:15:10,761
- Alps?
- Go to Gstaad. It's the best.
234
00:15:10,882 --> 00:15:12,110
I could go to Hawaii.
235
00:15:12,242 --> 00:15:14,881
Sarah was always talking about this place
in Hawaii that was supposed to be nice.
236
00:15:15,002 --> 00:15:16,594
No, don't. I wouldn't go there.
237
00:15:16,722 --> 00:15:20,158
What, I can't go to Hawaii now, because
Sarah Marshall has heard of Hawaii?
238
00:15:20,282 --> 00:15:22,512
Then go to Hawaii. Go to Hawaii.
239
00:15:23,082 --> 00:15:24,117
Do it.
240
00:15:29,722 --> 00:15:31,553
No, no, no, don't destroy the computer.
241
00:15:31,682 --> 00:15:32,910
I'm just deleting these pictures.
242
00:15:33,042 --> 00:15:35,431
Okay, I need them off my computer.
243
00:15:36,922 --> 00:15:39,994
You know what? You're not even doing
a proper permanent delete.
244
00:15:40,122 --> 00:15:41,271
Well...
245
00:15:41,402 --> 00:15:44,075
If we end up getting back together,
I wanna have a few of them left.
246
00:15:44,202 --> 00:15:45,157
You're crazy.
247
00:15:46,974 --> 00:15:48,202
- No, no, please don't delete them.
- They have to go. Done, done.
248
00:16:02,014 --> 00:16:04,369
That was hilarious. Aloha!
249
00:16:04,574 --> 00:16:07,486
I'm Sarah Marshall from Crime Scene:
Scene of the crime.
250
00:16:07,614 --> 00:16:10,128
And when I'm not scrubbing for evidence,
I'm flying Hawaiian Airlines...
251
00:16:10,254 --> 00:16:11,209
Excuse me! Hi.
252
00:16:11,334 --> 00:16:12,608
... to my favourite destinations. Mahalo.
253
00:16:12,734 --> 00:16:14,326
Hi, can I have another bloody mary, please?
254
00:16:15,774 --> 00:16:17,765
You're still working on that one.
255
00:16:17,894 --> 00:16:20,283
It's just an anticipatory order.
256
00:16:20,414 --> 00:16:22,291
Okay, I'll be right back!
257
00:16:33,694 --> 00:16:35,730
What do you think caused
such excessive bleeding?
258
00:16:35,854 --> 00:16:39,813
He was either stabbed in the aorta
or it was his time of the month.
259
00:16:51,117 --> 00:16:52,152
Aloha!
260
00:16:53,317 --> 00:16:55,069
Check in this way.
261
00:17:05,477 --> 00:17:08,037
- Just married?
- Yes, how did you guess?
262
00:17:08,197 --> 00:17:11,712
Oh, you've got that magic newlywed dust
all over you.
263
00:17:12,637 --> 00:17:15,151
- Oh, my wife.
- Oh, my husband.
264
00:17:15,277 --> 00:17:16,915
- Oh, my wife.
- My husband.
265
00:17:17,037 --> 00:17:18,868
My old ball and chain.
266
00:17:22,957 --> 00:17:25,266
You quit squirming and come here.
267
00:17:26,117 --> 00:17:28,108
What is into you?
268
00:17:28,797 --> 00:17:30,310
Not me, yet.
269
00:17:30,437 --> 00:17:34,271
Here is your room key.
So you're all set. Room 222.
270
00:17:34,397 --> 00:17:36,433
Room key's inside,
and the elevators are to the right.
271
00:17:36,597 --> 00:17:37,552
Mahalo.
272
00:17:37,717 --> 00:17:39,196
Congratulations.
273
00:17:41,757 --> 00:17:43,713
Here you go, sir. Have some POG juice.
274
00:17:43,837 --> 00:17:45,714
Welcome to Turtle Bay.
What can I do for you?
275
00:17:45,837 --> 00:17:47,907
I'm checking in.
My name's Bretter, Peter Bretter,
276
00:17:48,037 --> 00:17:49,026
but actually, I don't have a reservation.
277
00:17:50,717 --> 00:17:53,072
I just thought I'd take my chances.
278
00:17:54,397 --> 00:17:55,546
Bold!
279
00:17:56,237 --> 00:18:00,025
We are all booked up,
but we do have the Kapua suite available.
280
00:18:00,157 --> 00:18:02,830
- Okay. How much is that?
- $6,000 a night.
281
00:18:03,717 --> 00:18:05,753
- Wow.
- Beautiful views.
282
00:18:05,877 --> 00:18:07,788
I can imagine.
That's a little bit out of my price range.
283
00:18:07,917 --> 00:18:09,589
Sorry.
284
00:18:09,717 --> 00:18:11,992
That's a shame. This is a beautiful
285
00:18:13,837 --> 00:18:14,906
hotel.
286
00:18:15,757 --> 00:18:18,590
Oh, yeah, it's Sarah Marshall
from Crime Scene.
287
00:18:19,197 --> 00:18:20,915
People are excited that she's here.
288
00:18:22,517 --> 00:18:25,554
She's my ex-girlfriend.
We broke up three weeks ago.
289
00:18:25,677 --> 00:18:27,793
- I'm sorry, sir.
- Right. This is fine, right?
290
00:18:27,917 --> 00:18:30,670
- Sir?
- It's totally fine. Okay, there she is.
291
00:18:32,997 --> 00:18:35,795
- Did she see me? Is she coming over here?
- Uh-huh. Yup.
292
00:18:35,917 --> 00:18:37,509
I wish I wasn't wearing this fucking shirt.
293
00:18:37,637 --> 00:18:40,470
Fair enough.
Why don't you try to unbutton it?
294
00:18:42,077 --> 00:18:43,635
Button it back up.
295
00:18:44,917 --> 00:18:46,396
- Peter!
- Hey.
296
00:18:47,077 --> 00:18:49,147
- Hi.
- What are you doing here?
297
00:18:49,637 --> 00:18:51,468
Came here to murder you.
298
00:18:52,077 --> 00:18:54,307
Really, what are you doing here?
299
00:18:55,077 --> 00:18:58,228
I have been having a tough time,
you know, back in LA.
300
00:18:58,717 --> 00:19:01,231
But then I came here, and here you are.
301
00:19:01,717 --> 00:19:03,867
I just think that's too crazy to be...
302
00:19:03,997 --> 00:19:06,386
Hello there, you little sex object.
303
00:19:06,517 --> 00:19:09,077
I've lost a shoe.
Have you seen it anywhere?
304
00:19:09,197 --> 00:19:13,110
It's like this one, but, you know,
obviously it's the opposite one.
305
00:19:14,477 --> 00:19:19,471
Excuse me, missus, I've lost a shoe.
Like this one. It's like this one's fellow.
306
00:19:19,597 --> 00:19:22,555
- Sort of the exact opposite, in fact, of that.
Uh-huh.
307
00:19:22,677 --> 00:19:24,952
Not an evil version, but just, you know,
308
00:19:25,077 --> 00:19:29,116
a shoe like this, but for the other foot.
Otherwise, I'd have two right...
309
00:19:29,237 --> 00:19:30,590
Aldous, this is Peter.
310
00:19:30,717 --> 00:19:34,392
Hey, all right, Peter.
Nice to meet you, mate. Aldous.
311
00:19:35,557 --> 00:19:37,673
- Good to meet you, man.
- My ex-boyfriend.
312
00:19:37,797 --> 00:19:39,833
Right. Hey, I'm Aldous Snow.
313
00:19:39,957 --> 00:19:42,232
I know who you are.
Yeah, you're very, very famous.
314
00:19:42,357 --> 00:19:44,234
Yeah, I am. I am for my sins.
315
00:19:44,357 --> 00:19:46,666
So are you staying here, as well?
316
00:19:46,797 --> 00:19:48,071
- I'm not, as a matter of fact...
- I'm sorry.
317
00:19:48,197 --> 00:19:50,586
Excuse me, Mr Bretter, Ms Marshall,
318
00:19:50,717 --> 00:19:54,710
but we were able to book the
Kapua suite for you, sir, for four nights.
319
00:19:57,358 --> 00:19:59,030
- You were?
- Yes, sir.
320
00:20:01,198 --> 00:20:03,075
- Marvellous.
- Perfect. Perfect amount of time.
321
00:20:03,198 --> 00:20:05,553
Listen, if you wanna have dinner with us
one of those nights...
322
00:20:05,678 --> 00:20:06,997
- Aldous.
... feel very...
323
00:20:07,118 --> 00:20:08,073
No.
324
00:20:08,198 --> 00:20:10,348
That's very gentlemanly of you,
but you two enjoy your trip.
325
00:20:10,478 --> 00:20:12,434
I'll be just fine on my own.
326
00:20:12,558 --> 00:20:15,026
- All right, Peter.
- The Kapua suite...
327
00:20:15,398 --> 00:20:18,708
- Have a good trip, Pete.
- I like your shirt. It's colourful.
328
00:20:18,838 --> 00:20:20,237
- Bye.
- Bye now.
329
00:20:20,558 --> 00:20:22,913
Ta-ta. I was wearing two shoes
this morning, right?
330
00:20:28,198 --> 00:20:30,507
Thank you. Thank you for bailing me out.
I still can't afford that room.
331
00:20:32,542 --> 00:20:34,692
Nobody can.
It's for, like, Oprah or, like, Céline Dion.
332
00:20:34,822 --> 00:20:36,016
Really, it's not a big deal.
333
00:20:36,142 --> 00:20:38,531
So you can stay in the suite,
but since you're not technically a guest,
334
00:20:38,662 --> 00:20:40,732
you have to clean up after yourself.
335
00:20:40,862 --> 00:20:43,296
Otherwise, here is your room key
336
00:20:44,342 --> 00:20:46,014
and enjoy your stay.
337
00:20:47,102 --> 00:20:49,172
Why are you doing this for me?
338
00:20:51,022 --> 00:20:54,014
She's here with some guy already?
Kind of messed up.
339
00:20:54,462 --> 00:20:55,781
- Right?
- Yeah.
340
00:20:57,222 --> 00:20:58,860
- Thank you.
- Really, it's not a big deal.
341
00:20:58,982 --> 00:21:00,256
Go enjoy yourself.
342
00:21:00,382 --> 00:21:03,135
Rachel Jansen.
A thousand times, thank you,
343
00:21:03,262 --> 00:21:05,382
- you know what I mean...
- Go enjoy yourself.
344
00:21:05,622 --> 00:21:07,931
- This is a disaster!
Calm down, man.
345
00:21:08,702 --> 00:21:09,896
Are there other hotels on the island?
346
00:21:10,022 --> 00:21:11,296
Of course there are other hotels,
347
00:21:11,422 --> 00:21:13,299
but I'm not leaving here,
it'll look like I'm running away.
348
00:21:13,422 --> 00:21:16,573
Wait. Why are you whispering?
You're not following them, are you?
349
00:21:16,702 --> 00:21:17,771
I had a girlfriend, right?
350
00:21:17,902 --> 00:21:21,815
And Liam and Noel Gallagher
both had it off with her right in front of me,
351
00:21:21,942 --> 00:21:23,216
so that's similar.
352
00:21:23,342 --> 00:21:24,741
And that was a bit awkward, actually.
353
00:21:24,862 --> 00:21:27,660
So if you do wanna change hotels,
I quite understand.
354
00:21:27,782 --> 00:21:30,171
No, no, I'm not changing hotels.
355
00:21:30,302 --> 00:21:32,418
Stop following
and just go back to your room, Peter.
356
00:21:32,542 --> 00:21:34,498
- They're gone!
- Why are you looking for them?
357
00:21:34,622 --> 00:21:36,374
- I don't know.
- You're acting like an idiot.
358
00:21:36,502 --> 00:21:38,333
Run! Get out of there! Go to your room!
359
00:21:38,462 --> 00:21:40,418
- What do you think they're doing?
- Peter, go.
360
00:21:40,542 --> 00:21:42,339
Oh, God! Okay, there they are.
361
00:21:42,462 --> 00:21:44,054
- There they are, I see them.
- Go back to your room, Peter.
362
00:21:44,182 --> 00:21:45,695
Peter, go back to your room.
Go back to your room, Peter.
363
00:21:45,822 --> 00:21:46,811
I'm going in.
364
00:21:46,942 --> 00:21:48,534
Go back to your room, Peter.
Are you listening to me?
365
00:21:48,662 --> 00:21:50,732
Peter, go back to your room.
Peter, Peter, Peter...
366
00:21:51,022 --> 00:21:52,011
Hey!
367
00:21:53,262 --> 00:21:55,093
Hey, nice room.
368
00:21:55,302 --> 00:21:56,735
Go!
369
00:21:57,342 --> 00:21:59,173
I am in the Kapua suite.
370
00:21:59,302 --> 00:22:02,055
What are you doing? Sucker!
371
00:22:02,182 --> 00:22:03,331
Have fun.
372
00:22:04,782 --> 00:22:06,738
Listen, you piece of shit!
373
00:22:07,262 --> 00:22:11,301
You're an idiot. Back to your room, Peter.
Peter, back to your room.
374
00:22:13,262 --> 00:22:14,536
Did you enjoy that?
375
00:22:14,662 --> 00:22:17,096
- Did you like what you saw?
- That hurt a lot.
376
00:22:17,222 --> 00:22:20,134
But I know Sarah,
and I'm pretty sure I just ruined her day.
377
00:22:35,182 --> 00:22:37,013
You know
how we thought the killer masturbated
378
00:22:37,142 --> 00:22:39,178
before he committed each homicide?
379
00:22:39,302 --> 00:22:40,940
That's the theory.
380
00:22:41,062 --> 00:22:43,132
Take a look at the microscope.
381
00:22:45,382 --> 00:22:48,135
Oh, yeah, looks like where he's going,
382
00:22:49,342 --> 00:22:51,810
he'll need to know how to masturbate.
383
00:23:03,622 --> 00:23:04,577
Oh, God!
384
00:23:09,062 --> 00:23:10,939
- Hello.
Hey, Peter?
385
00:23:12,102 --> 00:23:14,058
- Sarah?
- No.
386
00:23:14,182 --> 00:23:17,333
It's Rachel Jansen, from the front desk.
387
00:23:19,382 --> 00:23:22,055
- Hey!
- Hey, what's going on up there?
388
00:23:22,182 --> 00:23:25,254
I'm getting complaints
about a woman crying hysterically.
389
00:23:25,382 --> 00:23:28,180
Yeah, you know what, I hear her, too,
390
00:23:28,302 --> 00:23:31,419
and it sounds like
she's having such a hard time.
391
00:23:31,542 --> 00:23:34,136
I think it's coming from the floor above me.
392
00:23:34,262 --> 00:23:36,139
You're on the top floor.
393
00:23:38,022 --> 00:23:39,899
I'll try to keep it down.
394
00:23:40,502 --> 00:23:42,811
- Are you okay?
- Yeah, you have a nice night.
395
00:23:42,942 --> 00:23:43,977
Okay.
396
00:23:58,102 --> 00:24:02,141
I would love to sell you some weed, Jeremy,
but I'm at my fucking job right now.
397
00:24:02,262 --> 00:24:06,301
Obviously, because you called me at work,
you know that I'm at my place of work.
398
00:24:06,422 --> 00:24:08,253
So I can't just leave here
and sell you some weed.
399
00:24:08,382 --> 00:24:10,612
I can sell you some weed when I'm done.
400
00:24:10,742 --> 00:24:14,132
Hold on, I gotta call you back.
Mahalo, all right.
401
00:24:14,262 --> 00:24:16,412
- Hey, how's it going?
- Hey.
402
00:24:16,542 --> 00:24:18,134
I'd just like to grab some dinner, please.
403
00:24:18,262 --> 00:24:21,095
- Okay, great. Is your wife gonna meet you?
- No.
404
00:24:22,022 --> 00:24:23,501
Your girlfriend?
405
00:24:24,742 --> 00:24:26,892
No, I don't have a girlfriend.
406
00:24:28,742 --> 00:24:31,256
- You're just by yourself?
- Yeah.
407
00:24:31,782 --> 00:24:33,010
Sucks.
408
00:24:33,142 --> 00:24:36,373
Okay, so just one. Here's your wine list
and your menu. Come on.
409
00:24:36,502 --> 00:24:37,855
Do you want, like, a magazine
or something?
410
00:24:37,982 --> 00:24:40,052
It's gonna be boring
if you're just sitting by yourself.
411
00:24:40,182 --> 00:24:41,297
I'll be all right. Thank you.
412
00:24:41,422 --> 00:24:43,572
I just would be so depressed.
413
00:24:43,702 --> 00:24:44,976
- Yeah.
- Here you go.
414
00:24:45,102 --> 00:24:46,057
Thank you.
415
00:24:47,022 --> 00:24:50,412
The best thing is,
you have the greatest table in the house.
416
00:24:50,542 --> 00:24:52,578
- Oh, yeah?
- That's Aldous Snow right there.
417
00:24:52,702 --> 00:24:54,693
I know. I know, dude. I know.
418
00:24:55,022 --> 00:24:56,853
- I'm gonna ask him. I'll ask him politely.
- No, please don't, please.
419
00:24:58,142 --> 00:24:59,131
Mate!
420
00:25:00,262 --> 00:25:02,457
Why don't you come over and sit with us?
You'll be very welcome.
421
00:25:02,582 --> 00:25:05,654
No, thank you. I need a drink.
422
00:25:06,822 --> 00:25:08,858
Would you guys like a drink?
423
00:25:08,982 --> 00:25:11,177
Well, no, actually, because...
424
00:25:11,462 --> 00:25:14,898
Seven years clean.
That's what this tattoo denotes.
425
00:25:15,022 --> 00:25:17,252
Seven years free from drugs and alcohol.
426
00:25:17,382 --> 00:25:19,498
If I have just one sip of wine,
427
00:25:19,622 --> 00:25:23,331
by the end of the evening,
I'll be, like, rimming waiters for their tips
428
00:25:23,462 --> 00:25:24,577
just to get me hands on a rock.
429
00:25:24,702 --> 00:25:26,738
You know what I mean? Nasty.
430
00:25:27,782 --> 00:25:30,376
I heard that.
- Hey, what's up, man?
431
00:25:30,822 --> 00:25:32,494
How are you enjoying
your vegetable medley?
432
00:25:32,622 --> 00:25:33,975
It's mundane.
433
00:25:34,622 --> 00:25:36,931
It is mundane. It's great, I know.
434
00:25:37,062 --> 00:25:38,620
Will you marry me?
435
00:25:38,982 --> 00:25:40,859
Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Yes!
436
00:25:41,022 --> 00:25:42,535
- She said yes!
- Beautiful.
437
00:25:43,342 --> 00:25:44,570
Congratulations!
438
00:25:47,622 --> 00:25:50,534
I'm so excited! Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
439
00:25:51,382 --> 00:25:52,497
Peter!
440
00:25:55,062 --> 00:25:56,290
What's up?
441
00:25:57,022 --> 00:25:58,933
- Are you doing okay?
- Yeah.
442
00:25:59,062 --> 00:26:00,575
Yeah, I'm good.
443
00:26:01,702 --> 00:26:05,377
Look, did you follow me here?
Did my assistant tell you I was coming?
444
00:26:05,502 --> 00:26:06,821
- No.
- Did you talk to her?
445
00:26:06,942 --> 00:26:10,935
No, I didn't talk to your assistant.
It's not all about you, you know.
446
00:26:11,062 --> 00:26:15,499
Hawaii is a beautiful place.
People come here, usually not to follow you.
447
00:26:15,862 --> 00:26:18,456
So you're really staying?
You're gonna stay?
448
00:26:18,582 --> 00:26:22,211
Yeah, I think so. I really like it here.
I feel at home here.
449
00:26:22,502 --> 00:26:23,935
I just love it.
450
00:26:25,142 --> 00:26:26,575
Yeah, you should stay.
451
00:26:26,702 --> 00:26:28,897
I appreciate your consideration.
452
00:26:29,222 --> 00:26:31,690
Sounds like Aldous probably
shared a lot of needles,
453
00:26:31,822 --> 00:26:34,131
so thank you for dating him after me.
454
00:26:34,262 --> 00:26:35,775
- I appreciate that.
- Hmm.
455
00:26:37,142 --> 00:26:40,851
- Hope you have a really good time here.
- Have a great dinner.
456
00:26:40,982 --> 00:26:42,210
Thank you.
457
00:26:43,382 --> 00:26:44,781
Groupie whore.
458
00:26:45,302 --> 00:26:46,735
Psycho stalker.
459
00:26:47,262 --> 00:26:51,653
You know what? It's vacation.
I think I'll just take a piña colada, please.
460
00:26:59,422 --> 00:27:00,980
Look at this guy.
461
00:27:01,222 --> 00:27:03,690
Look at this guy.
462
00:27:05,542 --> 00:27:08,340
Not us, buddy. Right? Not us.
463
00:27:08,462 --> 00:27:12,137
I'm on Sex and the City.
What's up, Miranda?
464
00:27:13,102 --> 00:27:16,981
I'm Samantha. I have sex with everyone.
465
00:27:17,102 --> 00:27:18,979
Maybe it's a good thing that they're here.
466
00:27:19,102 --> 00:27:21,855
You know what I mean?
Maybe this is a challenge from God
467
00:27:21,982 --> 00:27:23,938
for me to forget her. You know?
468
00:27:24,062 --> 00:27:28,135
Or maybe it's a sign from God
that you should be with her.
469
00:27:29,022 --> 00:27:30,580
I love her show.
470
00:27:31,102 --> 00:27:34,253
When they mix the sexuality
and the violence, I like it.
471
00:27:34,382 --> 00:27:36,577
What the hell is wrong with you two?
You gotta move on.
472
00:27:36,702 --> 00:27:38,772
I hear you say that, but it's not that easy.
473
00:27:38,902 --> 00:27:40,972
It's that easy. Promise you it is.
474
00:27:41,102 --> 00:27:42,740
I lived in South Central.
475
00:27:42,862 --> 00:27:45,501
South Central. And I hated it.
476
00:27:45,622 --> 00:27:46,816
That's why I moved to Oahu.
477
00:27:46,942 --> 00:27:49,058
Now I can name you
over 200 different kinds of fish.
478
00:27:49,182 --> 00:27:50,740
- No, you can't.
- Oh, yes, I can.
479
00:27:50,862 --> 00:27:52,181
- Do it.
- Yeah, you cannot.
480
00:27:52,302 --> 00:27:57,137
G. Ghost pipefish, grill fish, goaler fish
grouper fish, greenback...
481
00:27:57,262 --> 00:27:58,900
What's the state fish of Hawaii?
482
00:27:59,022 --> 00:28:00,535
Humuhumunukunukuapua'a.
483
00:28:00,662 --> 00:28:02,254
- Yeah, bitch.
- Hey.
484
00:28:03,022 --> 00:28:05,490
- You ready?
- Yeah, just gonna close up.
485
00:28:08,302 --> 00:28:12,011
Hello, Mr Bretter, Mr Brayden.
Where's your wife, sir?
486
00:28:12,462 --> 00:28:14,692
She is in bed.
487
00:28:14,822 --> 00:28:16,653
How are things going with the lady?
488
00:28:16,782 --> 00:28:20,775
Not awesome.
She's complicated, like The Da Vinci Code,
489
00:28:21,622 --> 00:28:24,341
you know, but harder to crack.
490
00:28:25,582 --> 00:28:29,291
But life is full of lessons.
You learn something new every day.
491
00:28:30,942 --> 00:28:33,502
Wonder what I'm going to learn tomorrow.
492
00:28:34,942 --> 00:28:35,977
Well.
493
00:28:36,582 --> 00:28:37,935
- Good night, sir.
- Good night.
494
00:28:38,062 --> 00:28:39,097
Good night, sir.
495
00:28:39,222 --> 00:28:41,782
Off to find the mythical clitoris.
496
00:28:43,022 --> 00:28:48,050
So, Peter, were you able to get
that crying lady out of your room?
497
00:28:49,262 --> 00:28:50,661
'Cause I could send someone up,
if you want.
498
00:28:50,782 --> 00:28:52,500
- Oh, you could?
- Yeah.
499
00:28:53,302 --> 00:28:55,896
That's very funny. It is.
500
00:28:57,022 --> 00:29:00,981
Well, listen, Sarah Marshall Show sucks.
Who cares?
501
00:29:01,102 --> 00:29:03,616
I do the music for that programme.
502
00:29:04,782 --> 00:29:07,171
Did I mention that the music rocks?
503
00:29:08,702 --> 00:29:12,172
That's very sweet of you.
That's very sweet of you to say.
504
00:29:12,302 --> 00:29:14,258
You don't have to say that, though.
It's not music.
505
00:29:14,382 --> 00:29:16,896
There's no melody, it's just tones.
506
00:29:17,022 --> 00:29:18,978
Just dark, ominous tones.
507
00:29:20,662 --> 00:29:23,699
"The masturbating dog killer
is on the loose again.
508
00:29:23,822 --> 00:29:26,382
"He'll kill the owner,
but at least the dogs are happy. "
509
00:29:33,062 --> 00:29:35,576
I'm no Aldous Snow, I guess, you know.
510
00:29:40,302 --> 00:29:42,941
Time to start the music
511
00:29:43,262 --> 00:29:45,139
All gonna light the light
512
00:29:45,702 --> 00:29:49,456
Yeah, yeah, gonna get things started
on The Muppet Show tonight
513
00:29:56,862 --> 00:29:59,422
- Whipped cream or berry?
- Whipped cream.
514
00:30:01,102 --> 00:30:04,219
Here we are, sir. Have a wonderful breakfast.
515
00:30:04,582 --> 00:30:06,857
What a lovely table, so close to the buffet.
516
00:30:06,982 --> 00:30:09,337
I'm glad you like it. Mahalo.
517
00:30:13,142 --> 00:30:14,814
Good morning, sir.
Can I start you with anything?
518
00:30:14,942 --> 00:30:16,057
Orange juice, coffee?
519
00:30:16,182 --> 00:30:19,492
What about, like, some pineapple juice
with a little bit of rum on the side.
520
00:30:19,622 --> 00:30:23,331
Of course. I like your style. Cocktail guy.
521
00:30:23,462 --> 00:30:25,339
- Thank you.
- You are welcome.
522
00:30:25,462 --> 00:30:27,293
We've already reserved
the sea kayak for noon.
523
00:30:27,422 --> 00:30:30,175
Honey, I know that,
but you know that I wanted to see...
524
00:30:30,302 --> 00:30:33,658
- Hey. Hello there, friend.
- Hey.
525
00:30:33,782 --> 00:30:36,091
How are you guys? How was your evening?
526
00:30:36,222 --> 00:30:37,496
- Great.
- Awesome.
527
00:30:37,782 --> 00:30:40,216
- I can't feel anything.
- All right.
528
00:30:40,742 --> 00:30:42,972
- Does that feel good?
- I still can't feel anything.
529
00:30:43,102 --> 00:30:45,172
Okay, 'cause it hurts me.
530
00:30:45,302 --> 00:30:47,975
- Would you do that for me?
- Yeah.
531
00:30:48,902 --> 00:30:52,497
- Yeah.
- No, no, no. No.
532
00:30:53,022 --> 00:30:55,820
God put our mouths on our head
for a reason. No!
533
00:30:58,182 --> 00:31:00,491
- I'm going to the bathroom.
- Okay.
534
00:31:01,462 --> 00:31:06,217
- Is everything okay with...
- Waffles.
535
00:31:09,622 --> 00:31:12,773
- Here you go, sir. Breakfast of champions.
- Oh, thank you.
536
00:31:12,902 --> 00:31:17,339
And don't tell anybody, but...
A little extra love for you.
537
00:31:19,022 --> 00:31:20,057
Thank you.
538
00:31:20,182 --> 00:31:22,457
- Take it easy.
- You, too.
539
00:31:34,614 --> 00:31:36,332
- Hi.
- Hi.
540
00:31:36,454 --> 00:31:37,807
This is the yoga place, yeah?
541
00:31:37,934 --> 00:31:41,051
Yes. But there's no alcohol allowed
in the studio.
542
00:31:41,814 --> 00:31:45,773
Oh, no, I mean, obviously.
This is just pineapple juice.
543
00:31:46,974 --> 00:31:50,250
Well, there's no outside drinks
allowed in the studio.
544
00:31:51,214 --> 00:31:52,533
- Can I set it down?
- Sure.
545
00:31:52,654 --> 00:31:54,804
- Cool, thank you.
- I like your hat.
546
00:31:54,934 --> 00:31:57,892
- Thank you.
- Please remove it before class.
547
00:32:00,534 --> 00:32:03,526
Hey, everyone,
why don't you all grab your mats?
548
00:32:05,414 --> 00:32:09,566
Sorry, I recognise you from the cover
of Namaste Magazine. I'm a huge fan.
549
00:32:09,694 --> 00:32:11,844
Thank you. That's so sweet of you to say.
550
00:32:11,974 --> 00:32:15,523
I appreciate that.
Obviously, I don't do yoga for recognition.
551
00:32:15,654 --> 00:32:19,363
Right, of course you wouldn't.
Then stop being so good at it.
552
00:32:21,174 --> 00:32:23,608
That's very flexible. That's nice.
553
00:32:25,694 --> 00:32:28,811
- And, you, I recognise you from your show.
- Thank you.
554
00:32:28,934 --> 00:32:31,243
You seem much taller on your show.
555
00:32:32,054 --> 00:32:34,249
- I'm not.
- No, I know.
556
00:32:36,254 --> 00:32:39,530
Okay, if you just wanna start
by bringing your palms into your chest.
557
00:32:39,654 --> 00:32:43,283
Today we're gonna start with
the Surya Namaskar, or Sun Salutation.
558
00:32:43,414 --> 00:32:45,450
Let's take a deep inale in.
559
00:32:46,014 --> 00:32:48,005
Exhale and release the hands.
560
00:32:48,134 --> 00:32:50,807
Inale, arms up to the sky. Continue.
561
00:32:51,814 --> 00:32:54,612
Good, exhale and folding forward.
562
00:32:55,294 --> 00:32:59,253
Strong, strong backs. Good, excellent.
563
00:32:59,374 --> 00:33:01,126
Remember this is not a competition,
564
00:33:01,254 --> 00:33:03,529
although you two seem
to be the best in the class.
565
00:33:03,654 --> 00:33:05,963
Excellent. Perfect form, you two, perfect.
566
00:33:06,094 --> 00:33:08,654
Coming up into downward-facing dog.
567
00:33:09,294 --> 00:33:11,444
Good. It's really important in this pose,
568
00:33:11,574 --> 00:33:14,691
that you arch your back
and keep it flat at the same time.
569
00:33:14,814 --> 00:33:17,248
I feel like those are opposing ideas.
570
00:33:17,374 --> 00:33:21,413
No, they're not, 'cause you're arching
your back up while it's flat.
571
00:33:21,534 --> 00:33:22,569
Okay.
572
00:33:24,974 --> 00:33:29,013
Good, yeah, sweat it out.
Sweat out all the toxins from this morning.
573
00:33:29,334 --> 00:33:31,370
- Come on, lady.
- My name is Prana,
574
00:33:31,494 --> 00:33:33,724
and I know that wasn't just juice.
575
00:33:33,854 --> 00:33:38,211
You don't really need any adjusting,
so I'm just gonna do this for myself.
576
00:33:38,774 --> 00:33:40,844
Just to learn from your body,
577
00:33:41,094 --> 00:33:42,732
memorize your body.
578
00:33:43,454 --> 00:33:45,968
- Good. Strong legs.
- Come on.
579
00:33:46,894 --> 00:33:48,771
Perfect skin and form.
580
00:33:49,734 --> 00:33:52,646
Okay, class, I'd like to now
move into a tripod headstand.
581
00:33:52,774 --> 00:33:54,446
This is more of an advanced pose,
582
00:33:54,574 --> 00:33:57,213
so if you don't feel comfortable
or strong enough,
583
00:33:57,334 --> 00:34:00,883
please feel free to just lay on your mat
in child's pose.
584
00:34:01,014 --> 00:34:02,242
I got it.
585
00:34:02,374 --> 00:34:05,332
All right, so let's all come down to our mats.
586
00:34:05,454 --> 00:34:08,491
Get in a prep position
for the tripod headstand.
587
00:34:08,614 --> 00:34:09,649
If you don't feel comfortable,
588
00:34:09,774 --> 00:34:12,766
there's no shame
in just laying on your mat in child's pose.
589
00:34:12,894 --> 00:34:14,293
Lady, I got it.
590
00:34:14,414 --> 00:34:17,167
Good, so let's prep to come up. Good.
591
00:34:18,574 --> 00:34:21,486
Sir, if you just want to lay down
in child's pose.
592
00:34:21,614 --> 00:34:22,569
Now, you all heard me say,
593
00:34:22,694 --> 00:34:25,606
"If you want to be in child's pose,
that's okay. "
594
00:34:25,734 --> 00:34:27,690
- Just in case he gets hurt.
- Bring it, bring it.
595
00:34:27,814 --> 00:34:29,930
I don't want you to break your neck.
596
00:34:30,054 --> 00:34:31,533
- What's up?
- Just relax.
597
00:34:31,654 --> 00:34:33,485
My legs, that's what.
598
00:34:33,614 --> 00:34:35,650
We're doing quiet headstands today.
599
00:34:35,774 --> 00:34:38,572
I'm doing a handstand, motherfucker!
I'm doing a handstand.
600
00:34:38,694 --> 00:34:40,252
Okay, you know, why don't we just release.
601
00:34:40,374 --> 00:34:41,648
Thank God.
602
00:34:41,974 --> 00:34:44,408
Good, everybody. Good.
603
00:34:48,534 --> 00:34:49,569
Hey.
604
00:34:49,854 --> 00:34:51,253
Are you Chuck?
605
00:34:51,374 --> 00:34:54,605
Oh, man, you know,
they won't change that flyer.
606
00:34:54,934 --> 00:34:58,085
That's my mainland name.
My Hawaiian name is Koonu.
607
00:34:58,454 --> 00:34:59,728
Cool, sorry.
608
00:34:59,854 --> 00:35:01,003
No, it's all good.
609
00:35:01,134 --> 00:35:04,012
Does Koonu have some, like,
cool Hawaiian meaning?
610
00:35:04,134 --> 00:35:05,886
It means Chuck.
611
00:35:06,014 --> 00:35:07,447
I plugged it into a database.
612
00:35:07,574 --> 00:35:10,646
There's a thing you can go on,
on the Internet, you just type in your name,
613
00:35:10,774 --> 00:35:11,763
and it just says it.
614
00:35:13,772 --> 00:35:14,727
What's your name?
615
00:35:14,852 --> 00:35:16,046
- I'm Peter.
- Peter.
616
00:35:16,172 --> 00:35:17,651
- Yeah.
- I'm gonna give you a Hawaiian name.
617
00:35:17,772 --> 00:35:19,000
Oh, great.
618
00:35:22,412 --> 00:35:23,731
Pepiopi.
619
00:35:25,852 --> 00:35:28,047
- Great.
- Pepiopi, looks like you've got a little pain
620
00:35:28,172 --> 00:35:29,924
behind those eyes.
621
00:35:31,372 --> 00:35:33,124
Yeah, maybe a little.
622
00:35:33,932 --> 00:35:35,888
There's really only one cure for that.
623
00:35:36,012 --> 00:35:37,001
What's that?
624
00:35:37,132 --> 00:35:38,724
Weed. You got any?
625
00:35:40,932 --> 00:35:43,207
- No.
- Well, then let's go surfing.
626
00:35:46,212 --> 00:35:49,249
Okay, when we're out there,
I want you to ignore your instincts.
627
00:35:49,372 --> 00:35:52,330
I'm gonna be your instincts.
Koonu will be your instincts.
628
00:35:52,452 --> 00:35:53,805
Don't do anything.
629
00:35:53,932 --> 00:35:56,162
Don't try to surf, don't do it.
630
00:35:57,052 --> 00:35:59,247
The less you do, the more you do.
631
00:35:59,372 --> 00:36:01,602
Let's see you pop up. Pop it up!
632
00:36:05,492 --> 00:36:06,561
That's not it at all.
633
00:36:06,692 --> 00:36:08,125
Do less. Get down. Try less. Do it again.
634
00:36:10,292 --> 00:36:11,407
Pop up.
635
00:36:12,092 --> 00:36:13,650
No, too slow. Do less.
636
00:36:13,772 --> 00:36:14,921
Pop up.
637
00:36:15,452 --> 00:36:16,487
Pop up.
638
00:36:16,612 --> 00:36:18,762
You're doing too much. Do less. Pop down.
639
00:36:18,892 --> 00:36:20,041
Pop up now.
640
00:36:20,172 --> 00:36:21,446
Stop! Get down. Get down there.
641
00:36:21,572 --> 00:36:23,563
Remember, don't do anything.
642
00:36:24,252 --> 00:36:25,810
Nothing. Pop up.
643
00:36:28,372 --> 00:36:29,885
Well, you... No, you gotta do more than that,
644
00:36:30,012 --> 00:36:31,081
'cause you're just laying right out.
645
00:36:31,212 --> 00:36:32,167
It looks like you're boogie-boarding.
646
00:36:32,292 --> 00:36:34,328
Just do it. Feel it. Pop up.
647
00:36:35,852 --> 00:36:38,685
Yeah. That wasn't quite it,
but we're gonna figure it out, out there.
648
00:36:38,812 --> 00:36:39,801
Let's go surfing, come on.
649
00:36:39,932 --> 00:36:41,809
Everybody's learning how, come on and...
650
00:36:41,932 --> 00:36:44,127
The weather outside is weather
651
00:36:45,692 --> 00:36:47,683
How long you lived out here?
652
00:36:47,812 --> 00:36:50,565
Man, I don't know. I quit wearing a watch
when I moved out here.
653
00:36:50,692 --> 00:36:52,967
- Wow, that's so cool.
- Yeah.
654
00:36:53,092 --> 00:36:57,005
No, like my cell phone has a clock on it,
so I don't really need it.
655
00:36:57,132 --> 00:36:59,726
Right, so it's basically the same thing.
656
00:37:00,252 --> 00:37:03,369
- How old are you?
- I don't really believe in age or numbers,
657
00:37:03,492 --> 00:37:06,165
you know, I don't...
I mean, if you had to put a number on it,
658
00:37:06,292 --> 00:37:08,601
I guess I'd be 44.
659
00:37:10,852 --> 00:37:11,967
Fuck!
660
00:37:12,732 --> 00:37:14,882
Thanks for taking me out here.
661
00:37:16,012 --> 00:37:18,845
This is the first time I've felt good
in three weeks or so.
662
00:37:18,972 --> 00:37:21,486
You need to get back on that board
is what you need to do.
663
00:37:21,612 --> 00:37:23,364
- Yeah?
- Hey, here's the deal.
664
00:37:23,492 --> 00:37:24,845
When life gives you lemons,
665
00:37:24,972 --> 00:37:27,088
just say, "Fuck the lemons," and bail.
666
00:37:27,212 --> 00:37:29,772
Yeah. No. You said it, totally.
667
00:37:29,892 --> 00:37:31,848
You gotta just pull yourself up
by your wetsuit,
668
00:37:31,972 --> 00:37:32,927
get back on that board...
669
00:37:33,052 --> 00:37:34,531
Hey, look, man,
if you're attacked by a shark,
670
00:37:34,652 --> 00:37:36,051
are you gonna give up surfing?
671
00:37:36,172 --> 00:37:37,764
Probably, yeah.
672
00:37:37,892 --> 00:37:40,486
Let's go in, all right. Tacos are on me.
673
00:37:41,212 --> 00:37:43,442
Can you try to listen
to what I'm saying to you, Brian?
674
00:37:43,572 --> 00:37:45,961
I'm confused and I don't know what to do.
675
00:37:46,092 --> 00:37:47,320
What's up with that hat?
676
00:37:47,452 --> 00:37:49,966
What are you
in the Buena Vista Social Club?
677
00:37:50,092 --> 00:37:51,207
This is a nice hat.
678
00:37:51,332 --> 00:37:53,926
What member of the Brat Pack are you?
679
00:37:54,052 --> 00:37:56,885
You look like one of those guys
suspected of killing JFK.
680
00:37:57,012 --> 00:37:59,162
That's very funny. That's great.
681
00:37:59,292 --> 00:38:01,169
Tell him to make friends.
682
00:38:01,492 --> 00:38:03,722
You need to get out there
and make some friends, man.
683
00:38:03,852 --> 00:38:05,331
Is Liz there right now?
684
00:38:05,452 --> 00:38:07,488
No, no, she's not in here, buddy.
685
00:38:07,612 --> 00:38:08,647
I just heard her.
686
00:38:08,772 --> 00:38:10,091
She's gone.
687
00:38:10,652 --> 00:38:12,483
Who are you looking at?
688
00:38:12,732 --> 00:38:13,687
What?
689
00:38:13,812 --> 00:38:15,404
Is she still... Hi, Liz.
690
00:38:15,532 --> 00:38:19,161
No. I swear on my mother's grave, it...
Okay, it was Liz.
691
00:38:19,492 --> 00:38:21,403
She wasn't here the entire time.
692
00:38:21,532 --> 00:38:23,568
Go out and meet people.
We meet people all the time...
693
00:38:23,692 --> 00:38:25,091
- All the time on vacation.
- Constantly.
694
00:38:25,212 --> 00:38:28,045
I've tried, all right,
there's a couple of dudes here,
695
00:38:28,172 --> 00:38:30,208
but they're kind of weird.
696
00:38:30,532 --> 00:38:32,284
Just be friendly.
697
00:38:32,412 --> 00:38:33,481
Iron your shirt.
698
00:38:33,612 --> 00:38:34,931
Iron your shirt, look sharp.
699
00:38:35,052 --> 00:38:36,644
Even your T-shirts.
700
00:38:37,132 --> 00:38:39,600
There is this girl at the front desk
who's pretty cute.
701
00:38:40,252 --> 00:38:43,005
Oh, yeah. You know what?
Go have another dirty one night stand.
702
00:38:43,132 --> 00:38:44,804
That worked out so well before.
703
00:38:44,932 --> 00:38:47,685
What do you want from me?
You just told me I need to meet people.
704
00:38:47,812 --> 00:38:50,201
Ask her out.
Maybe that's what he needs, is a rebound.
705
00:38:50,332 --> 00:38:52,129
He's had plenty of chances
for rebounds. This isn't...
706
00:38:52,252 --> 00:38:53,321
Can we get on the same team here?
707
00:38:53,452 --> 00:38:56,364
Okay, I'm sorry.
We're on the same team. Sorry.
708
00:38:57,612 --> 00:38:59,250
You should go on a date with this girl.
709
00:38:59,372 --> 00:39:00,646
Well, maybe I'll ask her out then.
710
00:39:00,772 --> 00:39:02,569
- Yes.
- My wife says so.
711
00:39:02,972 --> 00:39:05,691
- Hey, I'm in Hawaii, too!
Oh, that's neat.
712
00:39:06,052 --> 00:39:07,804
Aloha, bitches!
713
00:39:08,772 --> 00:39:10,251
That's very cool.
714
00:39:13,412 --> 00:39:15,767
They're not Native Americans, Brian.
715
00:39:18,092 --> 00:39:19,241
- Bri...
- What are you doing?
716
00:39:19,372 --> 00:39:21,283
- The luha. Is that right?
- Oh, yeah.
717
00:39:21,612 --> 00:39:22,727
It's called the hula.
718
00:39:22,852 --> 00:39:24,524
- Luau?
- No, hula.
719
00:39:24,652 --> 00:39:25,607
You're doing a luau?
720
00:39:39,612 --> 00:39:40,567
- Hey.
- Hey.
721
00:39:40,692 --> 00:39:41,841
- Peter.
- Wow.
722
00:39:43,332 --> 00:39:46,244
You look beautiful.
I mean, that's a beautiful dress.
723
00:39:46,372 --> 00:39:47,327
- Thank you.
- Yeah.
724
00:39:47,452 --> 00:39:48,726
This'll be fun.
725
00:39:48,852 --> 00:39:50,001
Lei?
726
00:39:54,452 --> 00:39:57,125
May I help you with something else, Peter?
727
00:39:57,412 --> 00:39:59,289
No, I'll just grab a drink.
I'm just gonna head inside.
728
00:39:59,412 --> 00:40:01,687
- Happy 4th of July!
- Thank you.
729
00:40:03,972 --> 00:40:04,927
Aloha!
730
00:40:18,172 --> 00:40:20,049
- You done here?
- No, actually, I just sat down,
731
00:40:20,172 --> 00:40:21,924
I'm just getting started.
It's delicious, though, thank you.
732
00:40:22,052 --> 00:40:23,963
I'll just go fuck myself.
733
00:40:24,092 --> 00:40:25,844
- Sorry, what?
- Mahalo.
734
00:40:28,652 --> 00:40:29,926
Hi, Peter.
735
00:40:31,652 --> 00:40:33,210
Hey. Hey, bro.
736
00:40:35,132 --> 00:40:36,531
- Hi.
- Hey, all right.
737
00:40:36,652 --> 00:40:38,404
Excuse me. Excuse me.
738
00:40:38,532 --> 00:40:41,490
Everybody, can I have your attention
for one second, please.
739
00:40:41,612 --> 00:40:44,365
We have a very special guest
with us here, today.
740
00:40:44,492 --> 00:40:48,565
He is the lead singer
of the band, Infant Sorrow,
741
00:40:49,252 --> 00:40:52,722
one of my favourite musicians of all time.
He's so awesome.
742
00:40:53,692 --> 00:40:55,762
Please, please, let's take...
743
00:40:56,292 --> 00:41:00,331
Let's see if we can get him up here,
Mr Aldous Snow. Please, come on.
744
00:41:01,252 --> 00:41:02,287
Share your gift.
745
00:41:02,412 --> 00:41:03,606
Duty calls and all that.
746
00:41:03,732 --> 00:41:07,327
I'm trying to be incognito, it's weird.
It's like work to me, this is no fun.
747
00:41:07,452 --> 00:41:09,044
Hey! Thank you!
748
00:41:17,372 --> 00:41:19,727
Thank you.
What a lovely introduction.
749
00:41:19,852 --> 00:41:22,161
What an eccentric and confident young man.
750
00:41:22,292 --> 00:41:25,648
I'd like to dedicate this song
to a very beautiful woman that's here today.
751
00:41:25,772 --> 00:41:28,366
It's Miss Sarah Marshall, there she is.
752
00:41:29,292 --> 00:41:30,407
Look at her, blimey!
753
00:41:38,494 --> 00:41:40,769
Old as ancient skies
754
00:41:41,054 --> 00:41:43,614
I've had these wandering eyes
755
00:41:44,414 --> 00:41:46,609
but you took me by surprise
756
00:41:46,734 --> 00:41:49,009
when you let me inside you
757
00:41:50,894 --> 00:41:52,486
Inside you
758
00:41:53,214 --> 00:41:55,205
Inside you
759
00:41:55,454 --> 00:41:56,853
This went from 6:00 to midnight.
760
00:41:56,974 --> 00:42:01,206
Teach me how to grow
while I'm moving inside of you
761
00:42:02,854 --> 00:42:04,606
Inside of you
762
00:42:05,494 --> 00:42:07,724
- Inside you
- Inside you
763
00:42:08,894 --> 00:42:11,567
I long to be, is it wrong to be
764
00:42:11,734 --> 00:42:13,850
inside of you
765
00:42:14,774 --> 00:42:18,767
Inside of you the restless find their dreams
766
00:42:20,814 --> 00:42:24,523
Inside of you this king has found his queen
767
00:42:30,934 --> 00:42:31,889
Hey.
768
00:42:32,014 --> 00:42:33,129
You're from the breakfast buffet, right?
769
00:42:33,254 --> 00:42:34,209
- Yeah.
- Whipped cream or berries?
770
00:42:34,334 --> 00:42:35,323
Yeah. Yeah, I'm Peter.
771
00:42:37,313 --> 00:42:38,109
- Kemo.
- Kemo.
772
00:42:38,233 --> 00:42:40,349
- Good to meet you, man.
- Good to meet, you, man.
773
00:42:40,473 --> 00:42:42,703
- Have a beer.
- Thanks. Thank you.
774
00:42:45,113 --> 00:42:46,466
Sarah Marshall.
775
00:42:46,593 --> 00:42:47,628
Yes.
776
00:42:49,153 --> 00:42:51,109
How do you know
I was dating Sarah Marshall?
777
00:42:51,233 --> 00:42:53,588
Dwayne told me. Chuck told me.
778
00:42:54,353 --> 00:42:55,547
Even Rachel told me.
779
00:42:55,673 --> 00:42:59,507
I heard about it from everybody.
You gotta stop talking about it.
780
00:42:59,913 --> 00:43:01,949
It's like The Sopranos.
781
00:43:02,073 --> 00:43:03,301
It's over.
782
00:43:03,873 --> 00:43:05,465
Find a new show.
783
00:43:07,033 --> 00:43:08,466
You need a hug.
784
00:43:08,753 --> 00:43:10,186
Come here.
785
00:43:11,873 --> 00:43:13,306
Oh, thank you.
786
00:43:13,433 --> 00:43:15,105
You're awfully nice.
787
00:43:16,313 --> 00:43:18,873
I gotta go.
I'm prepping the pig for tomorrow's luau.
788
00:43:18,993 --> 00:43:21,632
You should come and help me.
It'll take your mind off of things.
789
00:43:21,753 --> 00:43:23,550
- Yeah? You don't mind?
- No.
790
00:43:24,073 --> 00:43:26,746
I mean, I must say I'm a pretty good cook.
791
00:43:27,113 --> 00:43:28,262
All right!
792
00:43:31,433 --> 00:43:33,993
I can't! Please don't make me do this!
793
00:43:34,153 --> 00:43:35,188
Do it!
794
00:43:35,313 --> 00:43:37,668
I'm sorry! I'm sorry!
795
00:43:42,313 --> 00:43:43,826
You can stop crying now.
796
00:43:43,953 --> 00:43:45,511
He's dead already.
797
00:43:46,033 --> 00:43:47,386
I'm not crying.
798
00:43:47,513 --> 00:43:48,741
You should stop crying.
799
00:43:48,873 --> 00:43:50,352
I don't cry. I'm not a baby.
800
00:43:50,473 --> 00:43:53,271
Really?
'Cause you look like a gigantic baby.
801
00:43:53,553 --> 00:43:56,067
I'm sorry. I didn't mean that at all.
802
00:44:05,433 --> 00:44:06,627
Hey.
803
00:44:06,753 --> 00:44:11,065
Listen, would you like to hang out tonight,
like, not in an official hotel function?
804
00:44:11,193 --> 00:44:12,421
Yeah. Totally.
805
00:44:12,553 --> 00:44:14,987
A bunch of us are going to go to this,
like, little beach thing afterwards.
806
00:44:15,113 --> 00:44:17,343
You're totally welcome to come.
807
00:44:17,833 --> 00:44:19,425
Maybe we could go together?
808
00:44:19,553 --> 00:44:21,032
Yeah, whatever.
809
00:44:21,433 --> 00:44:22,627
I mean we don't have to,
if you don't want to,
810
00:44:22,753 --> 00:44:23,708
I just thought that maybe...
811
00:44:23,833 --> 00:44:25,186
No, listen,
you don't have to make this weird.
812
00:44:25,313 --> 00:44:26,985
You either want to go or you don't.
813
00:44:28,513 --> 00:44:30,071
- I would love to.
- Okay.
814
00:44:30,673 --> 00:44:33,233
Awesome. Why don't you go upstairs,
change that shirt,
815
00:44:33,353 --> 00:44:36,026
and I'll meet you out front in, like, five?
816
00:44:45,713 --> 00:44:48,705
- This is so cool.
- You like it?
817
00:45:01,073 --> 00:45:03,303
So what brought you to Hawaii?
818
00:45:04,633 --> 00:45:06,783
- A dude.
- Of course.
819
00:45:06,913 --> 00:45:09,985
A surfer dude. You know, WCT, top 44.
820
00:45:13,153 --> 00:45:14,347
Totally.
821
00:45:16,033 --> 00:45:18,263
We were together for two years.
822
00:45:18,633 --> 00:45:21,193
Dropped out of school,
moved out here with him.
823
00:45:21,313 --> 00:45:23,349
Three weeks later,
I caught him cheating on me,
824
00:45:23,473 --> 00:45:25,668
so I moved out, and that's that.
825
00:45:26,673 --> 00:45:28,231
What an asshole.
826
00:45:29,073 --> 00:45:30,631
No, he's just a boy.
827
00:45:33,033 --> 00:45:36,742
You ever think about going back home,
finishing school, or...
828
00:45:37,953 --> 00:45:38,942
No.
829
00:45:39,673 --> 00:45:41,584
No. I work at the hotel,
830
00:45:42,553 --> 00:45:45,226
doesn't really have to be a future in there.
831
00:45:46,473 --> 00:45:47,872
Okay, my turn.
832
00:45:48,313 --> 00:45:49,428
Okay.
833
00:45:50,193 --> 00:45:54,266
So, how do you like
writing music for a TV show?
834
00:45:57,073 --> 00:45:59,303
It's great, you know. People are great.
835
00:45:59,433 --> 00:46:02,311
It's great to have a steady paycheque.
It's... I'm very lucky.
836
00:46:02,433 --> 00:46:03,422
Oh, my God, you hate it.
837
00:46:03,553 --> 00:46:05,669
I fucking hate it so much.
838
00:46:05,993 --> 00:46:08,188
So then, do something about it.
839
00:46:11,753 --> 00:46:12,742
Excuse me.
840
00:46:12,873 --> 00:46:15,910
I'm just saying, if you hate something,
change it.
841
00:46:16,033 --> 00:46:17,591
- Don't dwell.
- Well, I'm trying.
842
00:46:19,633 --> 00:46:22,147
I'm actually working on a rock opera.
843
00:46:23,113 --> 00:46:24,512
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
844
00:46:25,793 --> 00:46:27,909
What's your rock opera about?
845
00:46:30,313 --> 00:46:31,541
Dracula.
846
00:46:32,913 --> 00:46:35,586
Yeah, and eternal love, you know.
That's the theme.
847
00:46:35,713 --> 00:46:38,989
But I think the two sort of go hand in hand,
you know?
848
00:46:39,473 --> 00:46:40,701
And I...
849
00:46:42,673 --> 00:46:45,551
I have this vision of doing it with puppets.
850
00:46:48,273 --> 00:46:49,991
I mean, humans also, you know.
851
00:46:52,433 --> 00:46:53,661
Why Dracula?
852
00:46:53,793 --> 00:46:57,422
Because he's a man like anyone else.
He just wants to be loved.
853
00:46:57,553 --> 00:46:59,225
And every time he gets close
to a human woman,
854
00:46:59,353 --> 00:47:00,866
he ends up smothering and killing her,
855
00:47:00,993 --> 00:47:03,461
which is a feeling I am familiar with.
856
00:47:03,593 --> 00:47:05,424
What? That's just a joke.
857
00:47:05,553 --> 00:47:07,305
- Oh, shit.
- What?
858
00:47:08,073 --> 00:47:10,985
My ex. If I run, you run.
859
00:47:12,473 --> 00:47:14,225
- Do you understand?
- No, I don't understand at all.
860
00:47:14,353 --> 00:47:16,071
Fucking motherfucker! Dipshit!
861
00:47:16,193 --> 00:47:17,148
Rachel, what are you doing?
862
00:47:17,273 --> 00:47:18,865
I thought I told you
to stay back on your island.
863
00:47:18,993 --> 00:47:19,982
Take it easy, just take it easy.
864
00:47:20,113 --> 00:47:21,182
Yeah, you know what?
The deal was over April 9.
865
00:47:21,313 --> 00:47:23,383
Well, the deal's back on, motherfucker.
866
00:47:23,513 --> 00:47:25,344
You ain't the chief in this village.
I'm the chief.
867
00:47:25,473 --> 00:47:26,462
Of the idiots?
868
00:47:26,593 --> 00:47:29,153
Rachel, let me handle this. I know his friend.
Let me handle this, okay?
869
00:47:29,273 --> 00:47:30,706
Go ahead.
870
00:47:31,473 --> 00:47:33,429
Hey, man, you remember me from breakfast?
871
00:47:33,553 --> 00:47:36,113
- Oh, yeah, the cocktail guy, that's right.
- Yeah.
872
00:47:36,233 --> 00:47:39,191
This ain't the breakfast buffet.
What, you with my girl?
873
00:47:39,313 --> 00:47:41,349
Keeping her warm for me at night, huh?
874
00:47:41,473 --> 00:47:43,350
Hey, what are you doing here?
875
00:47:47,313 --> 00:47:48,666
That's right. Just hit him!
876
00:47:48,793 --> 00:47:49,987
Rachel, we gotta get out of here. Rachel?
877
00:47:50,113 --> 00:47:52,069
You get what you deserve.
878
00:48:03,593 --> 00:48:07,029
Just a boy?
No, that dude was a fucking man.
879
00:48:07,153 --> 00:48:10,862
No, no, no. He's an asshole.
I can't believe I ever dated him.
880
00:48:11,793 --> 00:48:13,511
- You went nuts.
- Yeah.
881
00:48:13,993 --> 00:48:16,427
You guys are dysfunctional.
882
00:48:16,953 --> 00:48:19,262
You were like one of those girls
from Flavour of Love.
883
00:48:19,393 --> 00:48:20,712
- From what?
- You were.
884
00:48:20,833 --> 00:48:22,585
"I'll kill you. I'll kill you. "
885
00:48:23,913 --> 00:48:25,710
Okay, I'm gonna go get us another round.
886
00:48:25,833 --> 00:48:27,710
I'll grab it. It's no big deal.
887
00:48:27,833 --> 00:48:31,269
You don't have to dote on me.
I'm not that type of girl.
888
00:48:43,633 --> 00:48:45,112
You look so hot.
889
00:48:45,233 --> 00:48:47,428
Give me Crime Scene.
Give me dirty Crime Scene girl.
890
00:48:47,553 --> 00:48:49,589
André the Giant, out of the shot, please.
891
00:48:49,713 --> 00:48:51,624
Mutombo, out of the shot, come on.
892
00:49:18,913 --> 00:49:22,064
Did you know that there's a picture
of you flashing,
893
00:49:22,193 --> 00:49:23,626
hanging in the men's room?
894
00:49:23,753 --> 00:49:26,586
Yeah. I hate it so much.
895
00:49:26,713 --> 00:49:29,181
My jackass boyfriend made me do it.
896
00:49:29,753 --> 00:49:31,584
Keoki took it, right there.
897
00:49:31,713 --> 00:49:33,704
And I asked him to take it down,
898
00:49:33,833 --> 00:49:37,064
but he said that it would ruin
the balance of the collage.
899
00:49:38,073 --> 00:49:39,631
Do you want me to try
to get it down for you?
900
00:49:39,753 --> 00:49:43,268
No. No, no, no, he'll kill you.
Like, really kill you.
901
00:49:45,153 --> 00:49:47,428
But I have a surprise for you.
902
00:49:47,913 --> 00:49:49,107
Really, what?
903
00:49:49,233 --> 00:49:50,427
We're gonna take a quick break.
904
00:49:50,553 --> 00:49:52,464
Tonight we have a special guest
from the mainland,
905
00:49:52,593 --> 00:49:55,312
singing a song from his Dracula musical,
906
00:49:55,633 --> 00:49:58,466
please welcome to the stage,
Mr Peter Bretter.
907
00:50:00,313 --> 00:50:01,382
Peter!
908
00:50:01,513 --> 00:50:03,071
Yeah! Go get them, tiger!
909
00:50:03,193 --> 00:50:04,148
Please don't.
910
00:50:05,353 --> 00:50:06,581
Peter!
911
00:50:06,873 --> 00:50:09,228
- Rachel...
- Dracula! Peter!
912
00:50:14,393 --> 00:50:15,621
Get them!
913
00:50:15,793 --> 00:50:16,748
What's up?
914
00:50:23,113 --> 00:50:24,432
Thank you.
915
00:50:27,113 --> 00:50:28,512
You know, I could play something else.
916
00:50:28,633 --> 00:50:30,032
I just think out of context this might be...
917
00:50:30,153 --> 00:50:31,745
Dracula musical!
918
00:50:33,593 --> 00:50:34,912
Thank you.
919
00:50:54,273 --> 00:50:58,585
It's getting kind of hard to believe
things are going to get better
920
00:51:00,793 --> 00:51:06,345
I've been drowning too long to believe
that the tide's going to turn
921
00:51:07,993 --> 00:51:12,908
And I've been living too hard to believe
things are going to get easier now
922
00:51:15,033 --> 00:51:19,424
I'm still trying to shake off the pain
from the lessons I've learned
923
00:51:21,913 --> 00:51:26,464
And if I see Van Helsing, I swear to the lord
I will slay him
924
00:51:28,793 --> 00:51:32,786
Take it from me, but I swear
I won't let it be so
925
00:51:35,153 --> 00:51:39,908
Blood will run down his face
when he is decapitated
926
00:51:41,273 --> 00:51:44,982
His head on my mantle
is how I will let this one know
927
00:51:46,433 --> 00:51:48,105
How much I love you
928
00:51:55,513 --> 00:51:56,582
Die
929
00:51:57,513 --> 00:51:58,502
Die
930
00:51:59,633 --> 00:52:00,588
Die
931
00:52:04,953 --> 00:52:06,068
I can't
932
00:52:17,193 --> 00:52:18,467
Awesome!
933
00:52:19,033 --> 00:52:20,352
Thank you.
934
00:52:24,153 --> 00:52:25,142
Thank you.
935
00:52:25,473 --> 00:52:28,351
So, I had a really, really great time tonight.
936
00:52:28,473 --> 00:52:30,543
- Yeah?
- Yeah. I mean, it got a little wild.
937
00:52:30,673 --> 00:52:32,470
- "A little"? You can say that.
- Yeah.
938
00:52:32,593 --> 00:52:35,187
But it was really fun,
and you're so cool, and it was...
939
00:52:35,313 --> 00:52:36,905
Thank you for taking me out.
940
00:52:37,033 --> 00:52:38,591
No, I had a great time. Thank you.
941
00:52:40,273 --> 00:52:41,831
- You did?
- Yeah.
942
00:52:45,793 --> 00:52:47,784
I'm sorry.
943
00:52:47,913 --> 00:52:51,872
I'm sorry, I just... I don't...
I just don't wanna complicate things.
944
00:52:51,993 --> 00:52:53,312
- No, of course!
- Yeah?
945
00:52:53,433 --> 00:52:56,425
No, no, no. Totally. I totally get that.
946
00:52:56,553 --> 00:52:58,589
- I had a great time.
- A handshake?
947
00:52:58,713 --> 00:53:01,750
- Well, I don't know. Okay.
- All right, all right.
948
00:53:01,873 --> 00:53:04,387
- All right. Get home safe.
- You, too.
949
00:53:07,393 --> 00:53:09,270
- Thanks again.
- Bye.
950
00:53:16,273 --> 00:53:19,743
I'm on a hammock with me lady
951
00:53:19,873 --> 00:53:23,070
Watching the sea roll by
952
00:53:25,273 --> 00:53:27,787
Things have been great now
953
00:53:27,913 --> 00:53:31,030
'Cause we're in Hawaii
954
00:53:32,833 --> 00:53:34,232
Hey, guys.
955
00:53:35,313 --> 00:53:37,429
Hey, man. I'm Koonu.
956
00:53:38,153 --> 00:53:41,270
Yeah. No, I remember. I'm Peter.
We took a surf lesson together.
957
00:53:41,393 --> 00:53:44,703
Yeah, you're that guy
that works with Kaiser Permanente.
958
00:53:44,833 --> 00:53:48,189
No, I'm Peter.
We had a nice talk out on the water.
959
00:53:48,313 --> 00:53:49,712
That's cool.
960
00:53:51,833 --> 00:53:53,664
Okay, can I just say something?
961
00:53:53,793 --> 00:53:57,103
- I went on a date tonight with Rachel, right?
- That wasn't a date.
962
00:53:57,233 --> 00:53:59,064
She's in customer service, dude.
963
00:53:59,193 --> 00:54:01,149
She took you out for charity.
964
00:54:01,273 --> 00:54:05,346
It was a date, okay? Trust me.
I know a date, and that was a date.
965
00:54:05,473 --> 00:54:06,588
I bet you think strippers like you, too.
966
00:54:06,713 --> 00:54:07,702
- That's really not necessary.
- It's true.
967
00:54:09,553 --> 00:54:12,465
Don't waste your time, man.
Believe me, it is a nowhere road. I know.
968
00:54:12,593 --> 00:54:15,391
Did you see her ex-boyfriend?
He is ridiculous.
969
00:54:15,513 --> 00:54:17,629
Who, Greg? I love Greg, man.
970
00:54:17,753 --> 00:54:20,347
I saw him beat up a guy with a starfish.
971
00:54:20,473 --> 00:54:23,351
- Okay, that's just ridiculous.
- That guy was me.
972
00:54:23,473 --> 00:54:26,226
Dude, my homie over here,
on his honeymoon?
973
00:54:26,353 --> 00:54:28,787
Getting as much sex
as he possibly can ever have.
974
00:54:28,913 --> 00:54:30,551
Are you giving to her
hard and rough, dude?
975
00:54:30,673 --> 00:54:32,106
Come on.
976
00:54:33,393 --> 00:54:39,025
The wife wants me to do certain things
that I find inappropriate.
977
00:54:39,153 --> 00:54:41,872
Let me just say
that if God was a city planner,
978
00:54:41,993 --> 00:54:45,622
he would not put a playground
next to a sewage system.
979
00:54:47,833 --> 00:54:51,667
We're trying to fuck,
but we're not having fun fucking.
980
00:54:51,793 --> 00:54:55,581
We're just, like...
I'm stabbing her private parts,
981
00:54:58,113 --> 00:55:01,423
and it's not fun, and it causes anxiety.
Fucking is...
982
00:55:01,593 --> 00:55:03,072
And then when you're not fucking...
983
00:55:03,193 --> 00:55:05,753
- Hey, someone's gotta stop him.
- You're the butt of a joke.
984
00:55:05,873 --> 00:55:08,228
Fucking this ring is...
985
00:55:08,353 --> 00:55:09,866
Fuck!
986
00:55:09,993 --> 00:55:11,984
It's gonna be all right.
987
00:55:13,713 --> 00:55:14,862
Hi.
988
00:55:16,353 --> 00:55:18,662
Hi, do you wanna come back to bed?
989
00:55:18,793 --> 00:55:19,942
Sure.
990
00:55:22,793 --> 00:55:24,021
Have fun.
991
00:55:25,513 --> 00:55:29,665
I like her hair.
I wonder if the carpet matches her pubes.
992
00:55:37,153 --> 00:55:38,871
Julian, what's up?
993
00:55:41,153 --> 00:55:42,108
Oh.
994
00:55:43,113 --> 00:55:44,307
God.
995
00:55:54,113 --> 00:55:55,831
The show's been cancelled.
996
00:55:55,953 --> 00:55:57,705
That's good, 'cause that's what you wanted.
997
00:55:57,833 --> 00:56:00,188
Yeah. Yeah, it is.
998
00:56:01,473 --> 00:56:06,388
It's just... I guess
I thought we had another year left.
999
00:56:06,513 --> 00:56:08,549
It seems like we did, and... This'll be good,
1000
00:56:08,673 --> 00:56:11,665
'cause it's been a long-awaited transition
into film for me.
1001
00:56:11,793 --> 00:56:14,910
Don't get me wrong, but it's just...
It's a surprise.
1002
00:56:15,033 --> 00:56:16,591
Come on tour with me.
1003
00:56:16,713 --> 00:56:21,264
I'll serenade you every night
in front of thousands of women.
1004
00:56:21,393 --> 00:56:23,031
I didn't know you were going on tour.
1005
00:56:23,153 --> 00:56:24,302
Yeah, I'm going in two weeks.
1006
00:56:24,433 --> 00:56:28,267
It's like an 18-month tour,
43 countries, Infant Sorrow,
1007
00:56:28,393 --> 00:56:30,384
and it's gonna be a massive tour.
1008
00:56:30,513 --> 00:56:35,382
Yeah. I can't come 'cause I have a job.
I'm a working actress.
1009
00:56:35,513 --> 00:56:37,151
Not any more.
1010
00:56:37,273 --> 00:56:38,467
You're an unemployed actress, perfect.
1011
00:56:40,113 --> 00:56:44,311
You could be the queen of the groupies,
queen of the Sorrow Suckers.
1012
00:56:44,433 --> 00:56:46,583
The Sorrow Suckers.
1013
00:56:46,713 --> 00:56:50,023
Sorrow Suckers.
I don't know why they call them that.
1014
00:56:50,153 --> 00:56:53,190
Mr and Mrs Snow, sorry.
Sorry to bother you.
1015
00:56:54,833 --> 00:56:56,471
The hotel wanted to offer you
some complimentary coconut cake.
1016
00:56:56,633 --> 00:57:00,467
It's from the hotel.
It's definitely not from me personally, so...
1017
00:57:01,673 --> 00:57:03,709
- Yeah, thanks.
- Okay, great.
1018
00:57:03,833 --> 00:57:06,984
When were you planning on telling me this?
1019
00:57:07,113 --> 00:57:10,549
- I just told you, then.
- Yeah. No, I know.
1020
00:57:10,673 --> 00:57:15,224
But telling me now
isn't really the same as telling me.
1021
00:57:15,353 --> 00:57:17,947
Well, look, you know,
I've not told you I've got genital herpes,
1022
00:57:18,073 --> 00:57:20,303
because it's not inflamed at the moment.
1023
00:57:20,433 --> 00:57:22,310
Do you guys want some champagne
with your cake,
1024
00:57:22,433 --> 00:57:23,707
or do you want it without your cake?
1025
00:57:23,833 --> 00:57:25,312
I don't drink.
1026
00:57:32,513 --> 00:57:36,665
All right, so I came here
to give you my demo. I just...
1027
00:57:36,793 --> 00:57:39,023
I worship you,
and I just wanted to give you my demo.
1
00:57:39,152 --> 00:57:41,152
Just take a listen and...
2
00:57:42,153 --> 00:57:43,506
Okay.
3
00:57:44,233 --> 00:57:46,622
'Cause you know what?
You don't wanna be the guy sitting there,
4
00:57:46,753 --> 00:57:49,313
watching BBC, and saying,
5
00:57:49,433 --> 00:57:52,869
"Oh, I saw that guy! He was my waiter,
6
00:57:52,993 --> 00:57:56,747
"and I totally dismissed him
like everyone else does in his life.
7
00:57:56,873 --> 00:57:58,591
"And I totally was wrong,
8
00:57:58,713 --> 00:58:02,023
"because he's a major, major,
major influence on me now,
9
00:58:02,153 --> 00:58:03,745
"and I feel terrible!"
10
00:58:07,236 --> 00:58:09,875
That stupid English voice, was that me?
11
00:58:11,396 --> 00:58:13,034
Unfortunately, yes.
12
00:58:14,276 --> 00:58:16,949
You're really gonna like it.
13
00:58:17,076 --> 00:58:19,795
I'll listen to it when you've gone.
14
00:58:25,636 --> 00:58:28,355
Hey, look, just don't tell anyone at the hotel.
15
00:58:37,156 --> 00:58:39,192
- What's up, dude?
- What's up?
16
00:58:39,316 --> 00:58:43,673
Peter, I got some really interesting news
this morning.
17
00:58:43,916 --> 00:58:45,713
Aldous gave you gonorrhoea?
18
00:58:45,836 --> 00:58:48,714
No. Why would I tell you that?
19
00:58:48,836 --> 00:58:51,191
Crime Scene was cancelled.
20
00:58:51,316 --> 00:58:52,271
Whoa.
21
00:58:53,316 --> 00:58:54,305
Wow.
22
00:58:57,156 --> 00:58:59,829
- You all right?
- Yeah. Yeah.
23
00:59:01,236 --> 00:59:03,431
I mean, I've been waiting
to take the next step,
24
00:59:03,556 --> 00:59:06,229
you know, into features for a long time,
so it's a really good thing.
25
00:59:06,356 --> 00:59:11,032
This isn't The View. I mean, we can have
an honest talk about this if we want.
26
00:59:12,676 --> 00:59:15,474
I don't wanna step out of the spotlight
and then be forgotten.
27
00:59:15,596 --> 00:59:18,030
I don't wanna disappear. I'm freaked out.
28
00:59:18,156 --> 00:59:20,590
I wanna be honest.
I'm really freaked out right now, okay?
29
00:59:20,716 --> 00:59:24,504
Because, seemingly, the only actresses
that actually can survive
30
00:59:24,636 --> 00:59:27,514
are the ones that show their cooter,
and, excuse me, but I refuse to do that.
31
00:59:27,636 --> 00:59:28,751
I have a little dignity.
32
00:59:28,876 --> 00:59:31,754
And I don't have the frame
to support plastic surgery. I would tip over.
33
00:59:31,876 --> 00:59:34,071
And I'm not gonna do that.
I'm not gonna exploit myself.
34
00:59:34,196 --> 00:59:38,394
Listen, you're gonna be fine.
You have a long career ahead of you.
35
00:59:38,516 --> 00:59:41,906
You've got, like, four years until you're 30.
36
00:59:42,036 --> 00:59:43,708
It's gonna be fine.
37
00:59:47,516 --> 00:59:49,825
- How are you?
- I'm screwed.
38
00:59:49,956 --> 00:59:55,155
Frankly, I don't stand a chance.
No, I'll be fine.
39
00:59:55,276 --> 00:59:58,712
I've been quietly stealing money
from you for a long time.
40
01:00:00,036 --> 01:00:03,426
You're always good at cheering me up,
Pete, thank you.
41
01:00:06,596 --> 01:00:08,154
Die
42
01:00:08,676 --> 01:00:10,075
Die
43
01:00:10,796 --> 01:00:12,070
Die
44
01:00:14,796 --> 01:00:16,434
I can't
45
01:00:20,036 --> 01:00:23,108
It's really good, Peter.
I just don't understand it. I don't.
46
01:00:23,236 --> 01:00:26,308
I mean, just chalk it up to that.
Please don't play it again, 'cause I don't...
47
01:00:26,436 --> 01:00:28,472
Just listen to it one more time and see...
48
01:00:30,476 --> 01:00:31,465
Where's Aldous?
49
01:00:33,465 --> 01:00:35,774
- Mr Snow, may I ask you a question?
- Okay.
50
01:00:35,905 --> 01:00:38,738
I want to please my wife here,
on our honeymoon,
51
01:00:38,865 --> 01:00:39,980
but I don't know what I'm doing.
52
01:00:40,105 --> 01:00:41,538
You having difficulty sex-wise?
53
01:00:41,665 --> 01:00:43,781
- Do you not know how to use this?
- I know how.
54
01:00:43,905 --> 01:00:46,465
- Have you had sex before?
- We can't.
55
01:00:46,585 --> 01:00:47,938
- Why?
- Our religion.
56
01:00:48,065 --> 01:00:49,464
Right, 'cause of God and everything?
57
01:00:49,585 --> 01:00:50,654
Hey, that's not gonna be a problem,
58
01:00:50,785 --> 01:00:52,901
because God should be present
in the bedroom.
59
01:00:53,025 --> 01:00:55,380
Just tell me specifically what I need to do.
60
01:00:55,505 --> 01:00:58,224
You need to penetrate deeply
and stimulate the clitoris simultaneously.
61
01:00:58,345 --> 01:01:00,017
That's what you gotta do.
That's what it's about.
62
01:01:00,145 --> 01:01:02,340
If you can involve the anus in that,
then that's absolute perfection.
63
01:01:02,465 --> 01:01:03,420
Got it.
64
01:01:03,545 --> 01:01:05,661
Explore her ears.
65
01:01:05,785 --> 01:01:08,982
Find it in you to be a little more circly.
66
01:01:09,105 --> 01:01:10,094
You are a man.
67
01:01:10,225 --> 01:01:11,340
God's within you.
68
01:01:11,465 --> 01:01:12,739
I actually feel okay about it.
69
01:01:12,865 --> 01:01:15,618
You know, I'm a little scared,
but I'll be all right. I'll get another job.
70
01:01:15,745 --> 01:01:18,134
That's interesting, man.
You know what else is interesting?
71
01:01:18,265 --> 01:01:20,938
- What?
- Me on the moon.
72
01:01:21,065 --> 01:01:23,181
I just wanna talk to you about something.
Can you stop?
73
01:01:23,305 --> 01:01:25,261
- All right, I'm just gonna talk, and then...
- Air!
74
01:01:25,385 --> 01:01:27,694
There was this interesting moment
with Sarah.
75
01:01:27,825 --> 01:01:31,022
Whoa, what? I don't wanna hear about
your interesting moment with Sarah, Pete.
76
01:01:31,145 --> 01:01:32,658
Then who am I supposed to talk to
about this?
77
01:01:32,785 --> 01:01:36,255
Well, not me, because have I ever had
an interesting moment with an ex-girlfriend?
78
01:01:36,385 --> 01:01:38,740
- Do you have an ex-girlfriend? No!
- No.
79
01:01:38,865 --> 01:01:40,059
LIZ: No.
80
01:01:41,105 --> 01:01:44,142
I would really love to get
the woman's perspective on the matter.
81
01:01:44,265 --> 01:01:45,664
- Really?
- No.
82
01:01:45,785 --> 01:01:47,377
But come on in and just sit down.
83
01:01:47,505 --> 01:01:49,973
- Stay. You have to...
- Honey, no, no, the camera's right there.
84
01:01:50,105 --> 01:01:51,140
No, I know,
but I just wanna tell him, though.
85
01:01:51,265 --> 01:01:53,859
- No, the camera...
- Think about how much she's hurt you.
86
01:01:53,985 --> 01:01:54,940
- Hey, Liz?
- Yeah?
87
01:01:55,065 --> 01:01:57,295
I think you need to move just a tiny bit
further away from the microphone.
88
01:01:57,425 --> 01:01:58,380
- Just...
- No, closer.
89
01:01:58,505 --> 01:01:59,494
- Now a little further.
- Okay.
90
01:01:59,625 --> 01:02:00,580
- Closer.
- And then...
91
01:02:00,705 --> 01:02:01,933
- And then a little further, and then closer.
- I don't know.
92
01:02:03,545 --> 01:02:04,534
- Keep your head down, though.
- I'm bad at this thing.
93
01:02:04,665 --> 01:02:06,144
- Can you hear me?
- Yeah, closer. Further away.
94
01:02:06,265 --> 01:02:08,984
I know what you're doing.
That's not funny at all.
95
01:02:09,105 --> 01:02:10,140
- You stop that.
- What?
96
01:02:11,785 --> 01:02:13,503
- What's he doing?
- Come on. Yeah, yeah, real funny.
97
01:02:15,096 --> 01:02:16,085
Hey, that's a great necklace, Liz.
98
01:02:16,216 --> 01:02:18,047
- Did you have that a second ago?
- Thank you!
99
01:02:18,176 --> 01:02:20,007
That's gross!
100
01:02:20,136 --> 01:02:21,364
- LIZ: I don't get it.
- Stop it.
101
01:02:21,496 --> 01:02:24,966
- He's saying if I were to sperm on you...
- What?
102
01:02:25,096 --> 01:02:27,929
... it would be a pearl necklace.
- Why?
103
01:02:28,056 --> 01:02:29,853
- Real funny.
- Sorry.
104
01:02:31,736 --> 01:02:33,169
Hey, Dracula!
105
01:02:33,296 --> 01:02:36,413
"And when I see Van Helsing,
I swear to the Lord, I'll slay him. "
106
01:02:39,438 --> 01:02:41,633
That shit is funny, dude!
107
01:02:41,758 --> 01:02:43,157
Hey, Pete.
108
01:02:43,278 --> 01:02:45,712
So I was gonna go over
to Lazy Joe's later tonight,
109
01:02:45,838 --> 01:02:46,953
and I wanted to see
if you wanted to come and join.
110
01:02:49,462 --> 01:02:52,022
I think I'm confused,
because I thought last night...
111
01:02:52,142 --> 01:02:55,737
Oh, my God. Dude, get out of your head.
It's really nice out here.
112
01:02:55,862 --> 01:02:58,422
Yeah, I bet it is.
113
01:02:58,542 --> 01:02:59,531
All right, yeah. You know what?
114
01:02:59,662 --> 01:03:00,981
I could totally use a friendly hangout, so...
115
01:03:01,102 --> 01:03:02,057
All right.
116
01:03:02,182 --> 01:03:03,535
I don't know if you want,
instead of Lazy Joe's,
117
01:03:03,662 --> 01:03:05,493
I was thinking of going
to Laie Point right now.
118
01:03:05,622 --> 01:03:06,771
- Really?
- Yeah.
119
01:03:06,902 --> 01:03:09,177
I heard that place was a pain in the ass.
120
01:03:10,262 --> 01:03:11,377
Okay.
121
01:03:12,622 --> 01:03:13,737
- Hey!
Yo, what's up, guys?
122
01:03:13,862 --> 01:03:14,897
We're just going for a hike.
123
01:03:15,022 --> 01:03:17,536
No, you're not, you're going snorkelling.
124
01:03:17,662 --> 01:03:18,936
I think we're gonna go on a hike.
125
01:03:19,062 --> 01:03:22,054
It is sea turtle fucking season, dude.
Let's go.
126
01:03:22,182 --> 01:03:25,333
They fuck for three hours, dude.
I mean, that's magical.
127
01:03:25,462 --> 01:03:27,180
- No, we're going on a hike.
- I think we'll go on a hike, yeah.
128
01:03:27,302 --> 01:03:29,020
What? Your loss.
129
01:03:30,262 --> 01:03:32,093
Why won't anybody
go snorkelling with me?
130
01:03:38,022 --> 01:03:40,092
How you doing back there?
131
01:03:41,102 --> 01:03:42,376
Awesome.
132
01:03:42,502 --> 01:03:45,619
I don't think I've ever been
this covered in sweat before.
133
01:03:45,742 --> 01:03:47,653
It's like I have some sort of fever.
134
01:03:47,782 --> 01:03:51,821
I told you this was a pain in the ass.
Could've been at Lazy Joe's.
135
01:03:51,942 --> 01:03:53,421
- Oh, yeah.
- Uh-huh.
136
01:03:53,542 --> 01:03:55,134
Oh, shit.
137
01:03:55,262 --> 01:03:56,854
- You good?
- No.
138
01:03:59,902 --> 01:04:02,336
Wow, we're really going
up to the edge of this, huh?
139
01:04:02,462 --> 01:04:03,690
Look!
140
01:04:07,702 --> 01:04:09,579
Wow, this is really beautiful.
141
01:04:13,022 --> 01:04:17,379
All right, so now that your show's done,
are you gonna finish the Dracula musical?
142
01:04:17,502 --> 01:04:19,538
It's not that easy, you know.
143
01:04:20,622 --> 01:04:23,090
Sarah always thought it was crazy, and...
144
01:04:23,222 --> 01:04:27,738
Well, you're definitely crazy.
But so is everyone, right? So who cares?
145
01:04:27,862 --> 01:04:31,093
- I just don't feel like doing anything.
- Why?
146
01:04:31,222 --> 01:04:32,337
'Cause my heart is broken,
147
01:04:32,462 --> 01:04:35,101
and I can't imagine
doing anything right now.
148
01:04:35,222 --> 01:04:38,976
It's probably the same reason
you don't go back to school, you know?
149
01:04:42,382 --> 01:04:45,021
Maybe it's good we got hurt like that,
you know?
150
01:04:45,142 --> 01:04:50,136
I don't know about you,
but it makes me feel impervious to pain.
151
01:04:50,262 --> 01:04:53,652
Yeah. Kind of like
there's nothing left to be afraid of.
152
01:04:53,782 --> 01:04:56,250
- Yeah. No, exactly.
- Right.
153
01:04:56,382 --> 01:05:00,421
We could leap off this rock,
and it won't hurt us as bad as they did.
154
01:05:02,542 --> 01:05:04,294
So jump, then.
155
01:05:04,422 --> 01:05:06,617
No, I meant that,
like, as a metaphor, you know?
156
01:05:06,742 --> 01:05:08,653
No. Just do it.
157
01:05:11,542 --> 01:05:14,181
You'll be fine. Jump.
158
01:05:19,822 --> 01:05:21,619
What the hell?
159
01:05:23,582 --> 01:05:26,460
Oh, God! Oh, God. I made her kill herself!
160
01:05:31,742 --> 01:05:33,334
You must be crazy!
161
01:05:33,462 --> 01:05:36,215
- So are you gonna jump or what?
- No!
162
01:05:36,342 --> 01:05:39,618
Come on, Peter!
I can see your vagina from here!
163
01:05:39,742 --> 01:05:42,302
I can see your hoo-ha.
164
01:05:42,422 --> 01:05:44,617
I mean, I'll jump!
165
01:05:44,742 --> 01:05:46,653
Chicken! Come on!
166
01:06:02,382 --> 01:06:05,658
Please, God, don't let me die today.
167
01:06:07,262 --> 01:06:09,014
- I'm okay!
- Okay!
168
01:06:09,142 --> 01:06:11,861
- I'll just let go, right?
- No, no, no!
169
01:06:11,982 --> 01:06:16,100
If you fall straight down,
you'd probably hit a rock and kill yourself!
170
01:06:17,182 --> 01:06:18,979
- Totally.
- Yeah.
171
01:06:19,102 --> 01:06:20,171
So what do I do?
172
01:06:20,302 --> 01:06:22,896
Why don't you press your feet
up against the rock,
173
01:06:23,022 --> 01:06:24,899
and, like, shoot yourself off!
174
01:06:25,022 --> 01:06:26,580
- What, like a frog?
- I don't know, Peter!
175
01:06:26,702 --> 01:06:29,170
Just get off the fucking rock!
176
01:06:29,302 --> 01:06:31,497
- Here I go!
- Okay!
177
01:06:31,622 --> 01:06:32,816
One!
178
01:06:34,582 --> 01:06:35,697
Two!
179
01:06:36,342 --> 01:06:37,491
Two!
180
01:06:40,142 --> 01:06:42,212
- Two and a half!
- Jump!
181
01:06:42,342 --> 01:06:43,661
Three!
182
01:06:56,582 --> 01:07:00,052
Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
183
01:07:00,182 --> 01:07:01,854
- You saw that, right?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, I saw it!
184
01:07:01,982 --> 01:07:04,257
I was there. I witnessed it.
185
01:07:04,382 --> 01:07:05,701
Thanks.
186
01:07:12,102 --> 01:07:13,501
Come on.
187
01:07:20,942 --> 01:07:23,775
You've got Christ between your thighs,
188
01:07:25,022 --> 01:07:26,978
but with a shorter beard.
189
01:07:27,462 --> 01:07:30,022
- Mahalo.
- Aloha.
190
01:07:30,422 --> 01:07:32,697
- Sex!
- I'm cramping, I'm cramping.
191
01:07:32,822 --> 01:07:34,414
- Okay.
- Okay, okay.
192
01:07:36,502 --> 01:07:38,811
Petey? Petey?
193
01:07:42,502 --> 01:07:45,096
Sorry. I knocked a bunch.
194
01:07:45,222 --> 01:07:46,416
You were really out.
Ken sent me.
195
01:07:48,108 --> 01:07:51,100
Dakota Fanning and her people,
they need this room.
196
01:07:51,228 --> 01:07:52,820
She loves it here.
197
01:07:53,708 --> 01:07:54,663
Oh.
198
01:07:55,468 --> 01:07:56,537
So does that mean I have to leave the hotel?
199
01:07:56,668 --> 01:07:57,657
Ken found you a room.
200
01:07:59,588 --> 01:08:02,182
I'll take it, yeah.
I wanna hang out with Rachel a little more.
201
01:08:04,294 --> 01:08:07,525
Are those sad tissues or happy tissues?
202
01:08:11,094 --> 01:08:13,369
Maybe you should just give me a minute.
203
01:08:16,774 --> 01:08:19,607
It was the only room available!
204
01:08:19,734 --> 01:08:21,372
I'm sure it was!
205
01:08:24,974 --> 01:08:27,283
- Hey, how's it going?
- It's all right.
206
01:08:27,414 --> 01:08:28,733
Really?
207
01:08:28,854 --> 01:08:32,130
I think you got some pain behind
those eyes. A kind of pain that only...
208
01:08:32,254 --> 01:08:33,812
Okay, you know what?
Let's cut the bullshit.
209
01:08:33,934 --> 01:08:35,925
I wanna stand up on a wave before I leave.
210
01:08:36,054 --> 01:08:37,772
I don't think you're ready yet, man.
211
01:08:37,894 --> 01:08:41,284
- I'm ready to ride giants, Koonu.
- I think you're ready.
212
01:09:02,934 --> 01:09:04,208
Petey!
213
01:09:09,134 --> 01:09:10,089
- Hi.
- Hi.
214
01:09:10,214 --> 01:09:12,728
Miss Marshall, what can I do for you?
215
01:09:12,854 --> 01:09:15,288
Is there a place
to get good sushi around here?
216
01:09:15,414 --> 01:09:19,612
Yeah. Yeah, there's a really great place
about five minutes from here called Asuki.
217
01:09:19,734 --> 01:09:21,087
Perfect.
218
01:09:21,214 --> 01:09:22,647
- Do you want me to get you a map?
- Please.
219
01:09:22,774 --> 01:09:23,923
Okay.
220
01:09:24,614 --> 01:09:27,811
So, this is where we are.
221
01:09:27,934 --> 01:09:31,768
Head down Kamehameha,
and then pass Funaho Loko Marsh.
222
01:09:31,894 --> 01:09:33,691
And it should be right to the left.
223
01:09:33,814 --> 01:09:35,850
It might take, like, five minutes.
224
01:09:36,014 --> 01:09:38,289
- Great. Thank you.
- Any time.
225
01:09:41,894 --> 01:09:43,213
Um...
226
01:09:43,334 --> 01:09:46,644
- I saw you with Peter Bretter...
- Yeah.
227
01:09:46,774 --> 01:09:49,242
...who's my ex-boyfriend.
228
01:09:49,374 --> 01:09:52,446
Oh, my God. I'm really sorry.
229
01:09:52,574 --> 01:09:53,893
- No.
- It's not like that at all.
230
01:09:54,014 --> 01:09:55,413
- It's not what you're...
- No, it's fine.
231
01:09:55,534 --> 01:09:57,365
I'm just really glad
you're keeping him company, 'cause...
232
01:09:57,494 --> 01:10:00,088
- Gosh, no.
... you seem like a really nice person,
233
01:10:00,214 --> 01:10:02,774
- and you're very pretty.
- Thank you.
234
01:10:02,894 --> 01:10:05,169
Gosh, you're, like, way prettier.
235
01:10:05,294 --> 01:10:07,489
No, you're, like, so pretty.
236
01:10:09,534 --> 01:10:10,762
Really?
237
01:10:11,654 --> 01:10:14,964
- Yeah.
- Wow, thank you. Thank you.
238
01:10:15,094 --> 01:10:17,050
And one more thing about Peter.
239
01:10:17,174 --> 01:10:22,806
He's a really good guy. Really good.
Like, great, actually.
240
01:10:23,254 --> 01:10:24,528
Yeah.
241
01:10:25,134 --> 01:10:26,123
Um...
242
01:10:29,774 --> 01:10:32,129
Please don't cry, Miss Marshall.
243
01:10:32,254 --> 01:10:34,848
God. Do you need me to get you a tissue?
244
01:10:34,974 --> 01:10:37,727
Oh, no, I'm good, I'm good.
I'm okay, I'm okay.
245
01:10:38,574 --> 01:10:39,768
Okay.
246
01:10:41,734 --> 01:10:45,363
- Thank you, Rachel.
- Any time, Miss Marshall.
247
01:10:54,894 --> 01:10:56,885
Hey, ahoy, there!
248
01:10:57,014 --> 01:10:58,527
You surf, too?
249
01:10:58,654 --> 01:11:01,407
Good Lord, no.
I'm just drifting around, you know?
250
01:11:01,534 --> 01:11:05,652
Getting in touch with the ocean and stuff.
It's really pleasant.
251
01:11:05,774 --> 01:11:07,253
It was, yeah.
252
01:11:08,854 --> 01:11:09,969
I'm gonna head in.
253
01:11:10,094 --> 01:11:12,244
Before you go, actually, Peter,
I just wanted to tell you,
254
01:11:12,374 --> 01:11:14,569
I was listening to Sarah's iPod
the other day,
255
01:11:14,694 --> 01:11:18,369
and amidst the interminable dross
that's on that thing,
256
01:11:18,494 --> 01:11:20,485
I found one track that I quite liked.
257
01:11:20,614 --> 01:11:23,492
So I checked what it was,
and it was actually one of yours.
258
01:11:23,614 --> 01:11:28,449
And it kind of reminded me of a dark,
gothic Neil Diamond. It's great.
259
01:11:29,494 --> 01:11:31,610
That's, like, exactly what I'm going for.
260
01:11:31,734 --> 01:11:33,167
Right, yeah.
261
01:11:36,814 --> 01:11:38,133
Fuck.
262
01:11:39,854 --> 01:11:41,412
Fuck, you're cool.
263
01:11:42,854 --> 01:11:47,450
It's so hard to say,
because, like, I hate you in so many ways,
264
01:11:49,414 --> 01:11:51,245
but whatever.
I can see why Sarah likes you.
265
01:11:51,374 --> 01:11:54,684
No accounting for taste, I suppose.
In her case, anyway.
266
01:11:54,814 --> 01:11:57,692
She was with me for five years,
so there you go.
267
01:11:57,814 --> 01:12:00,612
Yeah, you got four on me there, mate.
268
01:12:03,454 --> 01:12:05,570
You slept with Sarah a year ago?
269
01:12:05,694 --> 01:12:09,733
I thought you knew!
Peter, please, don't take it seriously.
270
01:12:09,854 --> 01:12:12,766
- What the fuck, man! You've...
- Don't get offended by that.
271
01:12:12,894 --> 01:12:15,169
You can't be so casual about this!
272
01:12:17,054 --> 01:12:18,089
This isn't Europe, okay?
There are rules here.
273
01:12:18,214 --> 01:12:21,524
I'm really sorry.
I apologise for offending you, Peter.
274
01:12:21,694 --> 01:12:24,652
I just hope this doesn't ruin our friendship.
275
01:12:24,774 --> 01:12:26,093
Well, what's that about?
276
01:12:26,214 --> 01:12:27,533
What do you think it's about?
This is a big deal!
277
01:12:29,214 --> 01:12:30,249
What about a code of the ocean?
That's not on.
278
01:12:30,374 --> 01:12:31,409
What about codes among men?
279
01:12:31,534 --> 01:12:32,569
You don't sleep
with another man's girlfriend!
280
01:12:32,734 --> 01:12:33,803
- Think of...
- Get out of here!
281
01:12:33,934 --> 01:12:36,892
- All right, okay! All right!
- Get out of here!
282
01:13:00,294 --> 01:13:01,249
Oh, God!
283
01:13:21,734 --> 01:13:24,965
Koonu! This guy needs help! Koonu!
284
01:13:28,014 --> 01:13:30,892
- Should I call the front desk?
- It hurts. It hurts.
285
01:13:31,014 --> 01:13:33,164
Wow, you got coral right there in your leg!
286
01:13:33,294 --> 01:13:34,693
Can you get it out of my leg, please,
hotel man?
287
01:13:34,814 --> 01:13:35,803
Can you do something about that?
288
01:13:35,934 --> 01:13:39,893
I'd love to, you know, but hotel policy...
They don't let me do that kind of thing.
289
01:13:40,014 --> 01:13:41,811
They get all weirded out. Insurance...
290
01:13:41,934 --> 01:13:43,652
Koonu, can you call
the front desk for me, please?
291
01:13:43,774 --> 01:13:45,287
- Yeah.
- It really hurts.
292
01:13:45,414 --> 01:13:48,212
Koonu, call the front desk now!
293
01:13:48,334 --> 01:13:50,211
Okay, monster man.
294
01:13:50,334 --> 01:13:51,972
Pete, he's not gonna do nothing.
295
01:13:52,094 --> 01:13:53,891
I kind of have this thing about blood, okay?
296
01:13:54,014 --> 01:13:57,563
Look at it. It's raping my leg.
Peter, get it out of my fucking leg, please!
297
01:13:57,694 --> 01:13:59,730
One, two.
298
01:13:59,854 --> 01:14:01,845
- You can't get it out.
- It's really in there.
299
01:14:01,974 --> 01:14:04,249
- Get it out of me!
- Three!
300
01:14:04,374 --> 01:14:06,444
Fuck my arse!
301
01:14:06,574 --> 01:14:09,293
Okay, I got it. It's all done. It's all over.
302
01:14:09,414 --> 01:14:10,847
Everything looks fine.
303
01:14:13,894 --> 01:14:16,613
It's all good! They're coming wiki wiki.
304
01:14:16,734 --> 01:14:20,773
Can you get some towels for me, please?
I'm really losing a lot of blood.
305
01:14:20,894 --> 01:14:22,771
You sound like you're from London.
306
01:14:22,894 --> 01:14:24,930
Yeah, I'm from London.
307
01:14:30,094 --> 01:14:31,812
What's going on?
308
01:14:31,934 --> 01:14:35,813
You fainted.
I didn't want you to wake up by yourself.
309
01:14:35,934 --> 01:14:39,210
- How's your friend? Is he all right?
- Yeah.
310
01:14:39,334 --> 01:14:41,564
They gave him stitches,
and he's sleeping it off.
311
01:14:41,694 --> 01:14:43,650
- Hey, you wanna hear something funny?
- What?
312
01:14:43,774 --> 01:14:45,890
Are you ready to laugh?
'Cause this is a gas.
313
01:14:46,014 --> 01:14:47,163
Okay.
314
01:14:47,294 --> 01:14:50,525
Edward Scissorhands over there told me
that you two were fucking each other
315
01:14:50,654 --> 01:14:53,122
for a whole God damn year
while we were together.
316
01:14:53,254 --> 01:14:54,243
Shit.
317
01:14:54,374 --> 01:14:55,966
How about that, Sarah?
318
01:14:56,094 --> 01:14:57,732
I'm sorry, Peter.
319
01:14:58,854 --> 01:15:01,607
Pete, you shouldn't be up
and walking around. Can you please...
320
01:15:01,734 --> 01:15:04,168
Please don't touch me.
Just don't touch me, okay?
321
01:15:04,294 --> 01:15:05,852
I'm not touching you.
322
01:15:05,974 --> 01:15:08,249
Will you just please sit? Please?
323
01:15:09,214 --> 01:15:11,808
All right, I'll sit down,
but I'm sitting down 'cause I want to,
324
01:15:11,934 --> 01:15:15,847
not because you've asked me to sit, okay?
325
01:15:15,974 --> 01:15:17,202
Great.
326
01:15:22,894 --> 01:15:24,088
A year?
327
01:15:24,894 --> 01:15:27,328
Listen, I get it, okay? I just...
328
01:15:27,534 --> 01:15:30,287
I need to understand what I did
to make you cheat. I just...
329
01:15:30,414 --> 01:15:36,523
Pete, it's not anything you did.
330
01:15:36,654 --> 01:15:40,249
You didn't do anything.
I mean, you were great.
331
01:15:40,374 --> 01:15:42,934
Will you please cut the bullshit
and have a talk with me?
332
01:15:43,054 --> 01:15:45,773
Fine. Cutting the bullshit.
333
01:15:47,614 --> 01:15:49,730
It got really hard to keep taking care of you
when you stopped taking care of yourself.
334
01:15:49,854 --> 01:15:51,003
I tried to get you out of the house.
335
01:15:51,134 --> 01:15:55,685
I tried to get you off your little island
you loved so much, the couch.
336
01:15:55,814 --> 01:15:57,372
You didn't wanna see the light of day!
337
01:15:57,494 --> 01:16:01,567
God, there was one week
when you wore sweatpants! Every day.
338
01:16:06,334 --> 01:16:09,724
You shall not pass!
339
01:16:10,894 --> 01:16:13,886
You know what? If they were Sean John
sweatpants, it would have been fine.
340
01:16:14,014 --> 01:16:16,926
But because they're Costco brand,
it's like the worst thing I could do.
341
01:16:17,054 --> 01:16:20,410
That has nothing to do with it.
That's what you don't get.
342
01:16:20,534 --> 01:16:24,049
I'm sorry that I didn't end up being
who we thought I was gonna be, you know?
343
01:16:24,174 --> 01:16:28,770
I tried really hard. I promise you that.
I just didn't have it in me.
344
01:16:28,894 --> 01:16:31,169
I think if you had just, maybe tried harder.
345
01:16:31,294 --> 01:16:33,489
I tried!
346
01:16:33,614 --> 01:16:35,969
You have no idea how hard I tried, Peter.
347
01:16:36,094 --> 01:16:37,573
I talked to a therapist.
348
01:16:37,694 --> 01:16:39,844
I talked to my mother.
I read every book possible.
349
01:16:39,974 --> 01:16:41,965
I took love seminars. I took sex seminars.
350
01:16:42,094 --> 01:16:44,449
None of it worked.
None of it made a difference to you.
351
01:16:44,574 --> 01:16:47,805
And I couldn't drown with you any more.
352
01:16:47,934 --> 01:16:52,291
Don't you dare sit there
and tell me that I didn't try.
353
01:16:52,454 --> 01:16:54,331
I did.
354
01:16:54,454 --> 01:16:56,843
You were just too stupid to notice.
355
01:17:28,414 --> 01:17:31,326
Whoa. I thought you were gonna wear
the shirt I got you.
356
01:17:31,454 --> 01:17:33,046
What? No.
357
01:17:33,174 --> 01:17:35,734
I mean, I do love that shirt you got me.
358
01:17:35,854 --> 01:17:38,322
I admire Sir Tommy Bahama an awful lot.
359
01:17:38,454 --> 01:17:42,242
He's a talented man,
but tonight, I feel that this is appropriate.
360
01:17:47,174 --> 01:17:50,450
Wow, thank you. Yeah, Sarah got it for me.
361
01:17:51,814 --> 01:17:54,931
This is, like, way more convenient
than my backpack.
362
01:17:58,134 --> 01:17:59,123
Awesome hat!
363
01:17:59,254 --> 01:18:01,165
Thank you.
Yeah, my girlfriend got it for me!
364
01:18:01,294 --> 01:18:02,886
- I'm fucking with you!
- Cool!
365
01:18:08,049 --> 01:18:10,609
Sarah, can I use this lipstick, please?
366
01:18:15,369 --> 01:18:18,167
Sure. I don't care.
367
01:18:20,793 --> 01:18:22,192
I think it looks great.
But if you're not, let's go change.
368
01:18:22,313 --> 01:18:25,544
No, I like it. I didn't like it at first.
Now I really think it's...
369
01:18:25,673 --> 01:18:27,231
Oh, bloody hell. This is a small resort.
370
01:18:27,353 --> 01:18:28,752
Hi, Peter.
371
01:18:31,033 --> 01:18:32,546
Hey. Wow.
372
01:18:33,753 --> 01:18:35,903
Aldous, Sarah, this is Rachel.
373
01:18:36,033 --> 01:18:38,342
Sarah bought me this shirt.
374
01:18:38,473 --> 01:18:39,701
I could've guessed that. Yeah.
375
01:18:39,833 --> 01:18:40,902
- Looks great.
- You look great.
376
01:18:41,033 --> 01:18:42,751
Looks awesome.
377
01:18:42,873 --> 01:18:44,909
- See.
- Thanks.
378
01:18:45,033 --> 01:18:48,992
Mr Snow, I'm so sorry.
I did not know you guys were coming.
379
01:18:49,113 --> 01:18:50,068
You're gonna have to wait five minutes.
380
01:18:50,193 --> 01:18:51,182
I did not know you guys were coming.
381
01:18:51,313 --> 01:18:52,905
It's okay. It's not a problem.
382
01:18:53,033 --> 01:18:54,625
I didn't see you guys, so...
383
01:18:54,753 --> 01:18:57,187
There's really no need to weep.
384
01:18:57,913 --> 01:18:59,392
I'm not crying.
385
01:19:00,793 --> 01:19:03,432
It's no problem, honestly.
It's not a problem.
386
01:19:03,553 --> 01:19:06,465
- So, your table is ready, guys.
- Oh, great.
387
01:19:06,593 --> 01:19:08,026
Hey, have a lovely evening, you two.
388
01:19:08,153 --> 01:19:09,825
- Thank you. Have a great dinner, you guys.
- Thank you.
389
01:19:09,953 --> 01:19:11,227
You're welcome to join us, obviously,
if you want.
390
01:19:11,353 --> 01:19:13,071
- Okay.
- Wouldn't dream of it. What?
391
01:19:13,193 --> 01:19:14,308
What?
392
01:19:15,313 --> 01:19:16,985
- Oh, okay.
- Okay.
393
01:19:17,113 --> 01:19:18,671
That's great. Awesome.
- Sure.
394
01:19:18,793 --> 01:19:19,942
Great. I'll just set two more places.
395
01:19:20,073 --> 01:19:21,028
- Okay.
- Not a big deal.
396
01:19:21,153 --> 01:19:22,472
Awesome.
397
01:19:22,593 --> 01:19:26,586
So this is actually happening.
We're gonna let this happen.
398
01:19:27,153 --> 01:19:28,108
I am so sorry.
399
01:19:28,233 --> 01:19:29,188
I never thought in a million years
she would say yes.
400
01:19:31,113 --> 01:19:32,068
I did.
401
01:19:32,193 --> 01:19:34,991
What? I just accepted an invitation.
I didn't wanna be rude.
402
01:19:35,113 --> 01:19:36,705
It's got us in a terrible situation.
403
01:19:36,833 --> 01:19:38,664
Now I'm gonna have to sit with him
wearing this shirt all night.
404
01:19:38,793 --> 01:19:40,431
You're wearing the shirt regardless.
405
01:19:40,553 --> 01:19:42,191
Australia is amazing.
406
01:19:42,313 --> 01:19:45,544
- I'm telling you. It is a great place to shoot.
- Yeah?
407
01:19:45,713 --> 01:19:48,785
Rachel, you would love it.
You would love it.
408
01:19:48,913 --> 01:19:51,473
I wanna go. I really, really wanna go there.
409
01:19:51,593 --> 01:19:53,549
- Wait, so when's the movie coming out?
- Mmm.
410
01:19:54,713 --> 01:19:56,431
It came out.
411
01:19:56,553 --> 01:19:58,350
- It was already released.
- Oh.
412
01:20:00,993 --> 01:20:02,745
Well, you know, it's an island.
413
01:20:02,873 --> 01:20:03,862
It's isolated.
414
01:20:03,993 --> 01:20:05,312
- Yeah.
- Movies don't really come out here.
415
01:20:05,433 --> 01:20:07,822
- Obviously.
- Did you like it?
416
01:20:07,953 --> 01:20:09,545
- The movie?
- Yeah.
417
01:20:10,513 --> 01:20:12,549
- It was...
- Awful bloody film.
418
01:20:12,673 --> 01:20:14,709
I say, it's just a ridiculous premise.
419
01:20:14,833 --> 01:20:18,303
What would happen
if your mobile phone killed you?
420
01:20:18,433 --> 01:20:20,583
Why would a mobile phone kill anyone?
Doesn't make sense.
421
01:20:20,713 --> 01:20:23,307
How can a mobile phone have an agenda
and kill people...
422
01:20:23,433 --> 01:20:24,912
I told her that when she read the script.
423
01:20:25,033 --> 01:20:26,512
Yeah. You were the voice of reason, mate.
424
01:20:26,633 --> 01:20:28,146
I tried to be, but she didn't listen.
425
01:20:28,273 --> 01:20:30,833
Going around killing people.
A mobile phone, like, doing murders.
426
01:20:30,953 --> 01:20:32,784
Why couldn't you just take the battery
out of the phone?
427
01:20:32,913 --> 01:20:34,187
Right. That's it. The battle's over.
428
01:20:34,313 --> 01:20:36,429
- Yeah, we've won.
I hated it.
429
01:20:36,553 --> 01:20:38,509
Well, it's not for everyone, but it...
430
01:20:38,633 --> 01:20:40,510
No, it's ridiculous. Here's my favourite scene.
431
01:20:40,633 --> 01:20:42,191
Ring-ring. Hello?
432
01:20:43,033 --> 01:20:44,671
Right. It would never happen.
- Yeah.
433
01:20:44,793 --> 01:20:46,021
No, it could never happen.
434
01:20:46,153 --> 01:20:50,032
It's a metaphor for addiction to technology.
435
01:20:50,153 --> 01:20:54,032
For society,
for how we're reliant on technology.
436
01:20:54,153 --> 01:20:55,142
I get it. I'm with you.
437
01:20:55,273 --> 01:20:56,626
It's a metaphor for a crap movie.
438
01:20:56,873 --> 01:20:58,864
Well, it was the right choice
for me at the time.
439
01:20:58,993 --> 01:21:00,551
Sure.
- You know?
440
01:21:12,633 --> 01:21:13,827
Well, this is awkward.
441
01:21:17,913 --> 01:21:18,948
Yeah?
442
01:21:19,633 --> 01:21:21,908
- It's a bit more awkward now.
A little.
443
01:21:22,033 --> 01:21:24,752
Hey, excuse me.
Can we get another bottle of wine, please?
444
01:21:24,873 --> 01:21:25,988
- Sure.
- Thank you.
445
01:21:26,113 --> 01:21:27,068
Mr Snow?
446
01:21:27,193 --> 01:21:29,343
Can I get cranberry juice
with a bit of lime in it, please.
447
01:21:29,473 --> 01:21:30,986
Do you want cranberry juice
or cranberry cocktail?
448
01:21:31,113 --> 01:21:33,422
Because I can probably rustle up either one.
Throw some OJ...
449
01:21:33,553 --> 01:21:35,509
I don't care.
450
01:21:35,633 --> 01:21:36,952
Okay, great.
451
01:21:46,024 --> 01:21:48,254
Hey, can we get another bottle of wine?
452
01:21:57,384 --> 01:21:59,261
If I've learned anything from addiction,
it's that,
453
01:21:59,384 --> 01:22:03,662
you know, life is as brief
as the twinkling of a star over all too soon.
454
01:22:03,784 --> 01:22:05,615
So if you're in a situation
where you're with a woman,
455
01:22:07,904 --> 01:22:08,973
why not do the most interesting thing
that you can do in that situation?
456
01:22:09,104 --> 01:22:11,413
And by which, I don't mean
have a conversation,
457
01:22:11,544 --> 01:22:12,863
have a chin-wag, a bit of a chat.
458
01:22:12,984 --> 01:22:16,181
Lose yourself in something
that's both ancient and perennial.
459
01:22:16,304 --> 01:22:20,502
Find something eternal, perpetual.
Lose yourself in fuck.
460
01:22:22,344 --> 01:22:24,380
I'm going to disagree.
461
01:22:24,504 --> 01:22:25,823
Respectfully, of course, sir.
462
01:22:25,944 --> 01:22:27,900
Maybe for you, that works.
463
01:22:28,024 --> 01:22:31,016
For me, it's much more enjoyable
to get to know somebody.
464
01:22:31,144 --> 01:22:32,543
If you end up sleeping with them,
that's great.
465
01:22:32,664 --> 01:22:34,700
But I like getting to know somebody.
466
01:22:34,824 --> 01:22:35,779
But he...
467
01:22:36,264 --> 01:22:40,052
What he's saying is that
he's gonna stick it wherever he wants,
468
01:22:40,184 --> 01:22:42,618
but he's joking.
469
01:22:42,744 --> 01:22:44,257
I ain't. No, I'm not joking.
470
01:22:44,384 --> 01:22:46,739
It's just what I believe, really.
471
01:22:48,024 --> 01:22:49,343
So...
472
01:22:49,544 --> 01:22:54,902
Just so we're clear and so I can hone in
on your central thesis of the night,
473
01:22:55,024 --> 01:22:56,423
wade through all the bullshit,
474
01:22:56,544 --> 01:22:59,058
you're telling me
that you think you have the right
475
01:22:59,184 --> 01:23:01,698
to just fuck anyone, anywhere, anytime?
476
01:23:01,824 --> 01:23:03,621
- Yes. There it is. That's right.
- That's what you're saying?
477
01:23:03,744 --> 01:23:06,622
Not so eloquently
as you just put it, sweetheart.
478
01:23:06,744 --> 01:23:07,972
But ultimately, yes, that is...
479
01:23:08,104 --> 01:23:09,981
Oh, no! Not the shirt!
480
01:23:10,104 --> 01:23:13,016
Take my eyes, but not the shirt. Mmm.
481
01:23:13,504 --> 01:23:16,257
Yeah, that's pretty much
what I believe, Sarah.
482
01:23:16,384 --> 01:23:18,739
When you're done making jokes,
are you gonna get a napkin?
483
01:23:18,864 --> 01:23:21,139
Do you know what? I think I've improved it,
actually, against all odds.
484
01:23:21,264 --> 01:23:22,458
I think I deserve a design award.
485
01:23:22,584 --> 01:23:24,461
Please get some seltzer water.
486
01:23:24,584 --> 01:23:26,893
- Garçon, could we get some...
- I saw it from farther away.
487
01:23:28,744 --> 01:23:30,541
- Okay.
- Just lean back for a second.
488
01:23:30,664 --> 01:23:32,256
No, it's all right. It's not there. Let me...
489
01:23:32,384 --> 01:23:33,703
You're very diligent. I appreciate it.
490
01:23:33,824 --> 01:23:35,542
Let go of the glass now.
You're gonna have to walk away.
491
01:23:35,664 --> 01:23:37,302
Bless you. There you are.
492
01:23:37,624 --> 01:23:39,296
Oh, me, oh, my.
493
01:23:40,224 --> 01:23:42,260
- Call the doctor.
- Oh, good.
494
01:23:50,984 --> 01:23:53,020
- I love Hawaii.
- Is it good?
495
01:23:53,144 --> 01:23:57,023
Yeah, it's nice,
but I think for like a week tops.
496
01:23:57,144 --> 01:23:58,736
Any more than that, I know I'd go crazy,
497
01:23:58,864 --> 01:24:02,459
because I think that
Hawaii is a place to escape
498
01:24:02,584 --> 01:24:05,417
for people who can't deal
with the real world.
499
01:24:07,584 --> 01:24:12,419
Yeah, you know, there's so few
personal shoppers and pet therapists.
500
01:24:12,544 --> 01:24:14,580
Gosh, it's such a hard life.
501
01:24:24,464 --> 01:24:26,136
I like living here.
502
01:24:28,464 --> 01:24:31,297
- Anyone need any more vino?
- I think we're good.
503
01:24:33,344 --> 01:24:35,016
I've a question for you real quick, Mr S.
504
01:24:35,144 --> 01:24:38,216
I was actually meaning to ask you,
what did you exactly think of my demo?
505
01:24:38,344 --> 01:24:40,539
Did you get it? Did you get it?
506
01:24:40,664 --> 01:24:43,303
Oh, no. I was gonna listen to that,
507
01:24:43,424 --> 01:24:46,416
but then I just carried on living my life.
508
01:24:49,224 --> 01:24:50,339
Not at all?
509
01:24:50,464 --> 01:24:54,139
No, I didn't, because, you know,
I go on my instincts,
510
01:24:54,264 --> 01:24:55,856
and they weren't good.
511
01:24:57,544 --> 01:25:01,139
You know what, dude?
Fuck you, okay? You can go fuck yourself.
512
01:25:01,264 --> 01:25:03,061
I can't yell right now because I'll get fired.
513
01:25:03,184 --> 01:25:04,139
My boss will hear me,
514
01:25:04,264 --> 01:25:06,095
and then I won't be able
to pay off my student loans.
515
01:25:06,224 --> 01:25:08,863
But you know what? You're an asshole.
I fucking hate you.
516
01:25:08,984 --> 01:25:10,019
I bought all your records.
517
01:25:10,144 --> 01:25:12,704
This whole fucking time, I've been trying
to get you to come hang out with me.
518
01:25:12,824 --> 01:25:16,897
I'm gonna have people fuck with your food
the rest of your trip, you fucking dick!
519
01:25:17,024 --> 01:25:19,299
I like him. That was quite moving.
520
01:25:34,064 --> 01:25:35,292
Wait, wait, wait.
521
01:25:35,424 --> 01:25:37,142
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
522
01:25:38,104 --> 01:25:40,220
Are you sure that you're not,
like, too drunk?
523
01:25:40,344 --> 01:25:42,904
Jesus, would you stop being so sensitive.
524
01:26:08,124 --> 01:26:09,079
Aldous.
525
01:26:10,564 --> 01:26:11,758
Wake up.
526
01:26:11,964 --> 01:26:14,432
- Aldous. Wake up.
- Hmm...
527
01:26:14,564 --> 01:26:16,077
Make love to me.
528
01:26:18,404 --> 01:26:20,235
All right. You go on top, though,
'cause I'm knackered.
529
01:26:35,764 --> 01:26:36,879
Listen.
530
01:26:39,204 --> 01:26:40,876
Yes! Yes!
531
01:26:43,644 --> 01:26:45,521
- Yeah.
Yes!
532
01:26:45,644 --> 01:26:47,077
- Oh, yes!
- Yeah!
533
01:26:49,964 --> 01:26:51,955
- Yeah! Oh, God!
- Yeah!
534
01:26:56,044 --> 01:26:57,363
- Right there!
- Yes!
535
01:26:57,484 --> 01:26:59,793
- Yes!
- Yes! She's having an orgasm!
536
01:26:59,924 --> 01:27:01,676
This is the best sex ever!
537
01:27:01,804 --> 01:27:03,556
Yeah, all right, that'll do.
538
01:27:04,244 --> 01:27:05,359
What?
539
01:27:06,524 --> 01:27:08,276
I made a mistake coming here with you.
540
01:27:11,884 --> 01:27:13,920
And I'm not done either!
541
01:27:14,964 --> 01:27:16,920
- Please shut up! Okay.
- Okay!
542
01:27:17,044 --> 01:27:19,114
You're still involved with him next door,
ain't you?
543
01:27:19,244 --> 01:27:20,199
Excuse me?
544
01:27:20,324 --> 01:27:21,996
You should've seen yourself
at dinner, Sarah.
545
01:27:22,124 --> 01:27:26,276
Then we come back here,
and you put on that ghastly performance.
546
01:27:26,404 --> 01:27:29,202
I mean, I've heard that
women do fake orgasms,
547
01:27:29,324 --> 01:27:30,723
but I've never seen one.
548
01:27:30,844 --> 01:27:32,357
It really deeply upset me.
549
01:27:32,484 --> 01:27:33,803
You should have seen yourself at dinner.
550
01:27:35,519 --> 01:27:39,512
"Oh, I'm Aldous
Snow. Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit, bullshit.
551
01:27:39,639 --> 01:27:41,516
"No, no drinks for me, thanks.
552
01:27:41,639 --> 01:27:43,118
"Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit. "
553
01:27:43,239 --> 01:27:45,673
That's a really reductive impression.
554
01:27:45,799 --> 01:27:48,108
If I wanted to see you act badly,
I'd just watch your TV show,
555
01:27:48,239 --> 01:27:50,230
which, obviously, I can't now,
because it's been cancelled.
556
01:27:50,359 --> 01:27:52,270
Oh, my God, you're such a prick.
557
01:27:52,399 --> 01:27:53,388
And you know what?
558
01:27:53,519 --> 01:27:56,397
Let me tell you something
about these tattoos, okay?
559
01:27:56,519 --> 01:28:00,478
That is Buddhist. That is Nordic.
That is Hindu. That's just gibberish.
560
01:28:00,599 --> 01:28:02,590
They are completely conflicting ideologies.
561
01:28:02,719 --> 01:28:04,835
And that does not make you
a citizen of the world.
562
01:28:04,959 --> 01:28:06,836
It makes you full of shit.
563
01:28:10,199 --> 01:28:12,713
Was that genuine or did you fake that?
564
01:28:14,599 --> 01:28:18,592
Right. I'm gonna probably clear off now.
565
01:28:18,719 --> 01:28:20,118
I'll have a little sleep for a few hours,
566
01:28:20,239 --> 01:28:23,948
then I'm gonna probably go
in the morning, okay?
567
01:28:28,519 --> 01:28:30,510
I hate your music.
568
01:28:30,639 --> 01:28:33,756
Yeah, well,
I fucked the housekeeper the other day.
569
01:28:39,912 --> 01:28:41,470
Are you sleeping?
570
01:28:42,312 --> 01:28:43,665
Not any more.
571
01:28:49,032 --> 01:28:52,991
I know that I'm leaving in a couple of days,
so I don't even know
572
01:28:54,912 --> 01:28:56,823
what the hell this means,
573
01:29:00,232 --> 01:29:02,951
but I really like spending time with you a lot.
574
01:29:06,312 --> 01:29:07,870
I know. Me too.
575
01:29:16,392 --> 01:29:17,347
Hey.
576
01:29:23,272 --> 01:29:24,671
Good morning.
577
01:29:27,432 --> 01:29:28,626
Where are you going?
578
01:29:28,752 --> 01:29:31,949
The Korean Textile Manufacturer's Luau.
579
01:29:32,072 --> 01:29:34,222
- Just kill me.
- Fun.
580
01:29:34,352 --> 01:29:35,387
Joy.
581
01:29:37,192 --> 01:29:40,707
I want you to know
that I meant what I said last night.
582
01:29:41,952 --> 01:29:43,385
I know you did.
583
01:29:44,632 --> 01:29:46,111
I did, too.
584
01:29:48,472 --> 01:29:51,066
- Can I see you again tonight?
- Yeah.
585
01:29:52,152 --> 01:29:53,983
- I get off at 7:00.
- Yay.
586
01:29:54,832 --> 01:29:55,901
Bye.
587
01:29:58,770 --> 01:29:59,998
Sir, morning mai tai.
588
01:30:00,130 --> 01:30:01,802
You know what?
589
01:30:01,970 --> 01:30:05,758
I actually will not be having
an alcoholic beverage this morning.
590
01:30:32,210 --> 01:30:34,087
Jump! Jump! Jump!
- Don't make me do it.
591
01:30:52,930 --> 01:30:54,807
Hey. Morning, mate.
592
01:30:55,570 --> 01:30:59,085
- How are you today?
- Yeah, I'm good. I'm good. You okay?
593
01:30:59,210 --> 01:31:01,201
Am I okay? I'm better than okay, my friend.
594
01:31:01,330 --> 01:31:02,729
You seem sprightly.
595
01:31:02,850 --> 01:31:04,124
I...
596
01:31:04,690 --> 01:31:06,203
I had a great time last night.
597
01:31:06,330 --> 01:31:09,447
- Congratulations. Well done. Well done.
- Thank you.
598
01:31:09,570 --> 01:31:11,242
What about you? What's with the bag?
599
01:31:11,370 --> 01:31:14,601
Right, yeah. I'm off back to England, mate.
600
01:31:14,730 --> 01:31:15,958
Oh, you and Sarah are going to England.
601
01:31:16,090 --> 01:31:18,399
No, no, no. I'm just going alone.
602
01:31:19,210 --> 01:31:20,928
- Yeah.
- Did you guys have a fight or something?
603
01:31:21,050 --> 01:31:24,440
Yeah, it was really... How you served
five years under her, I don't know.
604
01:31:24,570 --> 01:31:28,961
You deserve a medal or a holiday
or at least a cuddle from somebody.
605
01:31:29,090 --> 01:31:30,648
You were only here for a week.
606
01:31:30,770 --> 01:31:32,761
Well, I don't know.
For me, that one week of it
607
01:31:32,890 --> 01:31:37,247
was like going on holiday with,
I don't know, I wouldn't say Hitler,
608
01:31:37,370 --> 01:31:40,601
but certainly Goebbels.
It was like a little holiday with Hitler.
609
01:31:40,730 --> 01:31:41,958
Jesus.
610
01:31:42,090 --> 01:31:45,400
Hey, listen, at least it's clear now
for you two to reconnect.
611
01:31:45,530 --> 01:31:46,679
Oh...
612
01:31:47,930 --> 01:31:49,966
No, no. No.
613
01:31:50,090 --> 01:31:52,285
You know what?
I have a good thing going on with Rachel,
614
01:31:52,410 --> 01:31:54,002
and I want to see that through.
615
01:31:54,130 --> 01:31:57,361
Well, maybe you could have both of them.
Rachel and Sarah.
616
01:31:57,490 --> 01:32:00,209
They got on all right, didn't they, at dinner?
So maybe...
617
01:32:00,330 --> 01:32:02,525
You know what?
First of all, I'm not that kind of guy.
618
01:32:02,650 --> 01:32:07,121
And even if I was, I don't think that I have
the sexual competency to really pull that off.
619
01:32:07,250 --> 01:32:08,729
Yeah. It's a gift.
620
01:32:08,850 --> 01:32:11,887
I will say,
if you do get back with Miss Marshall,
621
01:32:12,010 --> 01:32:14,160
handle with care, because, you know...
622
01:32:16,330 --> 01:32:17,888
Okay. Well, I think my ride's here.
623
01:32:18,010 --> 01:32:20,524
So I'm gonna skedaddle then
before anything else happens to me.
624
01:32:20,650 --> 01:32:22,208
Before life gets any more daft.
625
01:32:22,330 --> 01:32:23,763
Is someone gonna take that?
626
01:32:23,890 --> 01:32:26,404
Listen, don't let them grind you down.
627
01:32:27,570 --> 01:32:28,764
Take it easy.
628
01:32:28,890 --> 01:32:31,358
Hey, look at my driver.
I'm gonna have sex with her.
629
01:32:35,758 --> 01:32:38,318
He said it was clear I wasn't over you.
630
01:32:40,758 --> 01:32:42,430
And then he left.
631
01:32:42,558 --> 01:32:43,991
Fucking prick.
632
01:32:45,878 --> 01:32:48,995
And then I started thinking,
what if he's right?
633
01:32:49,118 --> 01:32:51,871
What if I'm not over you?
634
01:32:53,718 --> 01:32:56,471
- Sarah...
- Please just let me finish, Pete.
635
01:33:03,238 --> 01:33:06,275
What if I made
a really, really horrible mistake?
636
01:33:09,078 --> 01:33:10,909
- Sarah.
- Yeah?
637
01:33:11,038 --> 01:33:13,074
- Sarah.
- Yeah?
638
01:33:13,198 --> 01:33:15,507
Stop pulling my face towards your face.
639
01:33:15,638 --> 01:33:17,276
Why?
640
01:33:17,398 --> 01:33:18,877
You don't like it?
641
01:33:18,998 --> 01:33:23,355
Listen, pulling my shirt towards you
is the same concept as pulling my face.
642
01:33:23,478 --> 01:33:27,517
Let's spend one more night here together,
and then let's go home and then...
643
01:33:27,638 --> 01:33:29,390
And we'll just pretend
like it never happened.
644
01:33:29,518 --> 01:33:31,429
...face reality. No.
- That's the big plan?
645
01:33:31,558 --> 01:33:33,196
No. I love you.
646
01:33:33,318 --> 01:33:36,310
That's not fair.
That's not fair of you to say that to me.
647
01:33:38,198 --> 01:33:39,631
Please, Peter.
648
01:33:42,438 --> 01:33:44,793
- Tell me you're sorry.
- I'm so sorry.
649
01:33:48,038 --> 01:33:49,517
I missed you.
650
01:33:54,558 --> 01:33:55,627
I'm sorry.
651
01:33:58,518 --> 01:34:00,429
God, I missed you, Peter.
652
01:34:07,358 --> 01:34:08,313
All right.
653
01:34:08,958 --> 01:34:12,155
Get hard for me, Pete. Get hard for me.
654
01:34:12,278 --> 01:34:14,838
- I know what I'm supposed to do.
- Okay.
655
01:34:14,958 --> 01:34:16,789
Just do it. Come on. Get hard.
656
01:34:16,918 --> 01:34:18,476
- I'm trying.
- Okay.
657
01:34:18,598 --> 01:34:20,350
- Here. Just let me do it for a second.
- Okay.
658
01:34:22,478 --> 01:34:25,515
I really want you, Peter. I missed you.
659
01:34:25,638 --> 01:34:26,912
You don't want help?
660
01:34:27,038 --> 01:34:30,189
- You don't want help? Uh-huh.
- Can you be quiet just for a minute?
661
01:34:30,318 --> 01:34:31,273
Do you want my hands?
662
01:34:31,398 --> 01:34:34,515
Maybe just don't talk for a second
is what I mean.
663
01:34:35,598 --> 01:34:36,951
Do you want my mouth?
664
01:34:37,078 --> 01:34:39,467
- Yeah, maybe your mouth.
- Yeah. Okay.
665
01:34:47,678 --> 01:34:50,112
What's the problem, Peter?
666
01:34:50,238 --> 01:34:52,194
- I don't know...
- More?
667
01:34:52,318 --> 01:34:54,548
You can keep trying if you want.
668
01:34:58,838 --> 01:35:00,635
What's wrong with you?
669
01:35:00,838 --> 01:35:02,794
- Nothing is wrong with me, okay?
- Okay.
670
01:35:02,918 --> 01:35:04,795
- No, I didn't...
- Just, something doesn't feel right any more.
671
01:35:04,918 --> 01:35:06,636
Okay. Well, did you... You know what?
672
01:35:06,758 --> 01:35:08,794
Did you drink today?
Because sometimes when you drink...
673
01:35:08,918 --> 01:35:10,237
Excuse me.
674
01:35:10,358 --> 01:35:13,111
No, I haven't had anything to drink today.
675
01:35:15,398 --> 01:35:19,789
Maybe the problem is that
you broke my heart into a million pieces,
676
01:35:19,918 --> 01:35:23,354
and so my cock doesn't want
to be around you any more, okay?
677
01:35:23,478 --> 01:35:24,467
Ever!
678
01:35:26,518 --> 01:35:28,907
Because you know what I just realised?
Huh?
679
01:35:29,038 --> 01:35:31,677
You're the God damn devil. Okay?
680
01:35:36,238 --> 01:35:38,957
Wedding in Hawaii! Real original!
681
01:35:49,518 --> 01:35:51,634
- Hey.
- Hey, Rachel.
682
01:35:52,958 --> 01:35:55,836
- Sarah and Aldous broke up this morning.
- What a surprise.
683
01:35:55,958 --> 01:35:58,552
So I went to check on Sarah, and...
684
01:36:01,318 --> 01:36:03,548
Listen, I'm here
because I don't want to lie to you, okay?
685
01:36:03,678 --> 01:36:05,430
Some stuff happened.
686
01:36:05,558 --> 01:36:07,355
I'm really, really sorry that it did,
687
01:36:07,478 --> 01:36:10,231
but I'm also really glad that it did, because
688
01:36:10,358 --> 01:36:14,795
I'm able to see so clearly now
that Sarah and I are not right for each other.
689
01:36:16,038 --> 01:36:17,357
What stuff?
690
01:36:19,478 --> 01:36:24,836
I went up to make sure that she was okay,
and it got weird.
691
01:36:24,958 --> 01:36:26,676
But now everything is fine.
692
01:36:26,798 --> 01:36:28,231
And I need you to understand
693
01:36:28,358 --> 01:36:30,428
that I meant everything that I said
to you this morning.
694
01:36:30,558 --> 01:36:31,707
What exactly happened, Peter?
695
01:36:31,838 --> 01:36:33,271
We fooled around a little bit.
696
01:36:33,398 --> 01:36:36,470
Shut the fuck up,
and tell me exactly what you did.
697
01:36:38,118 --> 01:36:43,670
All right. I went to her room,
and she was crying and crying and crying.
698
01:36:43,878 --> 01:36:45,914
And I felt like I should comfort her.
699
01:36:46,038 --> 01:36:49,155
And then she started kissing me
because I was comforting her.
700
01:36:49,318 --> 01:36:51,229
And then the next thing I knew,
I was kissing her
701
01:36:51,358 --> 01:36:53,349
because she had been kissing me
because of the comforting.
702
01:36:53,478 --> 01:36:57,153
Then she started taking my clothes off,
and then her clothes were off.
703
01:37:00,238 --> 01:37:03,787
Then she performed
10 to 15 seconds of oral sex on me.
704
01:37:03,918 --> 01:37:05,237
Okay. Peter, you can leave now.
705
01:37:05,358 --> 01:37:07,872
- At the most. Maximum.
- Thank you for staying at Turtle Bay.
706
01:37:07,998 --> 01:37:09,033
Rachel, please don't do this.
707
01:37:09,158 --> 01:37:11,433
The only reason I'm telling you this
is because I really care about...
708
01:37:11,558 --> 01:37:13,469
Listen to me, Peter.
709
01:37:13,598 --> 01:37:16,476
I was a mess, too. I understand. Okay?
710
01:37:16,598 --> 01:37:19,670
But it does not excuse
you acting like a complete asshole.
711
01:37:19,798 --> 01:37:22,392
Listen, I know that
I fucked things up for a minute,
712
01:37:22,518 --> 01:37:23,997
but I'm not like every other asshole.
713
01:37:24,118 --> 01:37:27,508
You should not be with anybody right now.
714
01:37:27,638 --> 01:37:28,832
Anybody.
715
01:37:30,638 --> 01:37:32,390
I know...
716
01:37:32,518 --> 01:37:33,997
I know that there is something here.
717
01:37:34,118 --> 01:37:35,836
I know that I was not wrong about that.
718
01:37:35,958 --> 01:37:39,667
And, yes, it's only been four days,
but I know you feel it, too.
719
01:37:44,198 --> 01:37:45,916
I need you to leave.
720
01:37:47,878 --> 01:37:51,632
Do not write me. Do not call me.
Do not e-mail me.
721
01:37:57,198 --> 01:37:59,154
Peter, I need you to go.
722
01:38:03,478 --> 01:38:05,434
I won't bother you any more.
723
01:38:06,478 --> 01:38:07,706
I'm sorry.
724
01:38:14,878 --> 01:38:16,709
I don't know what to do.
725
01:38:24,358 --> 01:38:26,235
Hey, brother, what you doing, huh?
You stealing my art?
726
01:38:26,358 --> 01:38:28,713
I want you to put it back right now.
Put it back, bro!
727
01:38:28,838 --> 01:38:31,147
Listen, give me the picture.
728
01:38:31,278 --> 01:38:33,473
Doo-doo paper.
You're throwing doo-doo paper?
729
01:38:33,638 --> 01:38:35,230
Give me the picture.
730
01:38:37,878 --> 01:38:40,995
Don't be stupid, brother.
Just give me the picture.
731
01:38:41,118 --> 01:38:43,791
You can hit me as many times as you want.
I'm not giving you the photo back.
732
01:38:43,918 --> 01:38:44,907
Oh, yeah.
733
01:38:51,438 --> 01:38:54,828
No, no, no.
Peter, I told you I did not want to see you.
734
01:39:13,398 --> 01:39:16,993
Aloha, I'm Sarah Marshall
from Crime Scene: Scene of the Crime.
735
01:39:17,118 --> 01:39:18,551
And when I'm not scrubbing for evidence,
736
01:39:18,678 --> 01:39:22,034
I'm flying Hawaiian Airlines
to my favourite destinations.
737
01:39:22,158 --> 01:39:24,467
Now sit back
and enjoy your in-flight entertainment.
738
01:39:24,598 --> 01:39:26,395
I know I will. Mahalo.
739
01:39:26,958 --> 01:39:30,109
Everybody hates you
740
01:39:30,238 --> 01:39:33,435
Everybody wishes that you were dead
741
01:39:33,558 --> 01:39:35,071
Because, Peter, you suck
742
01:39:35,198 --> 01:39:36,950
Peter, you suck
743
01:39:37,078 --> 01:39:40,195
Peter, your music is fucking terrible
744
01:39:40,318 --> 01:39:41,797
Peter, you suck
745
01:39:41,918 --> 01:39:43,351
Peter, you suck
746
01:39:43,478 --> 01:39:46,550
Peter, you don't do anything of value
747
01:39:46,678 --> 01:39:48,077
Peter, you suck
748
01:39:48,198 --> 01:39:52,316
Write some music but instead
you sit and write these bullshit songs
749
01:39:52,518 --> 01:39:54,076
It's so self-loathing
750
01:39:54,198 --> 01:39:57,270
Go see a psychiatrist
I hate the psychiatrist
751
01:39:57,398 --> 01:39:58,751
Well, go see one anyway
752
01:39:58,878 --> 01:40:00,152
I don't like the psychiatrist
753
01:40:00,278 --> 01:40:01,791
You need to go and see one
754
01:40:01,918 --> 01:40:03,317
See a psychiatrist
755
01:40:03,438 --> 01:40:04,757
I'm not going
756
01:40:39,078 --> 01:40:44,311
It's getting kind of hard to believe
things are going to get better
757
01:41:29,398 --> 01:41:30,911
I don't understand
what there is to think about.
758
01:41:31,038 --> 01:41:32,073
Because, D, he...
759
01:41:32,198 --> 01:41:34,507
She licked the tip. That doesn't count.
760
01:41:34,678 --> 01:41:37,272
- Of course it counts. He...
- He what?
761
01:41:37,398 --> 01:41:40,754
He refused a blowjob
from his ex-girlfriend mid-blowjob.
762
01:41:40,878 --> 01:41:43,631
Do you know what that's like for a man?
It's called blue balls, Rachel.
763
01:41:43,758 --> 01:41:45,749
This guy is like Gandhi, but better.
764
01:41:45,878 --> 01:41:46,833
He likes puppets.
765
01:41:46,958 --> 01:41:47,947
I love puppets.
766
01:41:49,638 --> 01:41:52,277
I love Fraggle Rock. I love Lamb Chop.
I love Elmo.
767
01:41:52,398 --> 01:41:55,674
Sesame Street, Bert and Ernie,
Snuffelupagus. Fucks my shit up.
768
01:41:59,758 --> 01:42:03,148
This is a song that
I never thought I would write
769
01:42:03,278 --> 01:42:05,269
On the night I'm dying
770
01:42:05,398 --> 01:42:08,310
Sorry for all the wrong I've done
771
01:42:08,438 --> 01:42:10,110
I'm finished trying
772
01:42:10,238 --> 01:42:15,073
It was a wonderful dream
Now let him come and slay me
773
01:42:15,198 --> 01:42:16,631
There he is
774
01:42:16,758 --> 01:42:19,318
The demon
who haunted the streets of London
775
01:42:19,438 --> 01:42:20,871
I've come to slay you
776
01:42:20,998 --> 01:42:22,431
Here I am!
777
01:42:22,558 --> 01:42:24,913
I'll leave you bleeding in my dungeon
778
01:42:25,038 --> 01:42:28,553
I'll never obey you
I'll rip out your oesophagus
779
01:42:28,678 --> 01:42:33,274
Please, Mr Van Helsing
Listen to me
780
01:42:33,398 --> 01:42:38,552
He is just a man who wishes to be free
781
01:42:38,678 --> 01:42:41,670
Lay him in a hearse
You must end this curse
782
01:42:41,798 --> 01:42:43,436
He is the worst!
783
01:42:55,558 --> 01:42:58,709
Don't go my love
784
01:42:58,838 --> 01:43:02,592
I can't say goodbye
785
01:43:02,718 --> 01:43:06,233
My reign is done
786
01:43:06,358 --> 01:43:11,386
It's time to die
787
01:43:12,278 --> 01:43:13,836
I'm pregnant
788
01:43:13,958 --> 01:43:15,550
Dracula
789
01:43:15,678 --> 01:43:16,793
VAN HELSING: What have I done?
790
01:43:16,918 --> 01:43:18,988
Has flown above
791
01:43:19,118 --> 01:43:20,312
Who killed Dracula?
792
01:43:20,438 --> 01:43:23,669
But he found a taste
793
01:43:23,798 --> 01:43:26,596
A taste for love
794
01:43:26,718 --> 01:43:29,152
My life is a lie
795
01:43:29,278 --> 01:43:34,671
Sweet Dracula
I miss my young dead prince
796
01:43:34,798 --> 01:43:38,757
I'll never see him again
797
01:43:38,878 --> 01:43:41,187
Until my death
798
01:43:41,318 --> 01:43:44,390
What a wonderful dream
799
01:43:44,518 --> 01:43:49,751
To find a taste for love
800
01:43:49,878 --> 01:43:55,953
A taste for love
801
01:44:23,718 --> 01:44:27,506
Wow. You came.
I can't believe that you came.
802
01:44:28,558 --> 01:44:30,355
Peter, this is great.
803
01:44:30,478 --> 01:44:33,436
- It was really funny. Yeah.
- Thank you.
804
01:44:33,558 --> 01:44:35,071
You know what?
I didn't realise that it was a comedy,
805
01:44:35,198 --> 01:44:39,555
and then someone told me that,
and it just, like, opened the whole thing up.
806
01:44:41,638 --> 01:44:44,755
- How long are you in town for?
- Open-ended.
807
01:44:44,878 --> 01:44:45,833
- Bold.
- Yeah.
808
01:44:45,958 --> 01:44:46,993
Yeah, you know, I'm kind of
checking out some schools.
809
01:44:49,918 --> 01:44:52,432
- Congratulations.
- Yeah, maybe.
810
01:44:55,518 --> 01:44:57,110
You never called.
811
01:44:58,318 --> 01:45:01,515
You told me not to. And I listened.
812
01:45:02,638 --> 01:45:04,674
- Right.
- Wasn't easy.
813
01:45:04,798 --> 01:45:07,107
I might have called once and hung up.
814
01:45:07,238 --> 01:45:09,627
- No. No.
- From a private number.
815
01:45:10,438 --> 01:45:11,393
No.
816
01:45:12,238 --> 01:45:13,193
Maybe.
817
01:45:13,318 --> 01:45:15,434
Peter!
Nice job, Bretter.
818
01:45:15,558 --> 01:45:16,627
Well, you should probably go back.
819
01:45:16,758 --> 01:45:18,794
Would you like to hang out
while you're here?
820
01:45:18,918 --> 01:45:21,193
- Maybe we could go to dinner or...
- Yeah.
821
01:45:21,318 --> 01:45:23,434
- Still have my number?
- Yeah. Yeah, I'll call you.
822
01:45:23,558 --> 01:45:26,072
- Go.
- Yeah, I should do that.
823
01:45:26,198 --> 01:45:27,995
Yeah, yeah. Go mingle.
824
01:45:31,958 --> 01:45:33,107
Hey, Peter!
Hey, Bretter!
825
01:45:33,238 --> 01:45:34,751
Come over here and meet my mom!
826
01:45:34,878 --> 01:45:37,392
- Go, go.
- Off I go.
827
01:45:37,518 --> 01:45:39,031
- Hey, Peter.
- Nice job, Bretter.
828
01:45:39,158 --> 01:45:40,989
The play was sick, man. Good work.
829
01:45:41,118 --> 01:45:43,154
- Nice job.
- Good job, man. That was awesome.
830
01:45:43,278 --> 01:45:44,313
So cool!
831
01:45:44,438 --> 01:45:46,269
Peter, congratulations.
832
01:45:46,398 --> 01:45:49,674
I just wanted to say thank you.
I had such a great time tonight.
833
01:45:49,798 --> 01:45:52,028
Oh, good. You know what?
I'm gonna change out of this unitard,
834
01:45:52,158 --> 01:45:53,876
- 'cause I'm getting a chafe. Okay.
- Enough said.
835
01:45:53,998 --> 01:45:55,989
- Congratulations.
- Thank you.
836
01:46:20,918 --> 01:46:21,987
Hey, Peter?
837
01:46:25,238 --> 01:46:28,469
I was just calling you.
838
01:46:33,638 --> 01:46:35,674
- Wow.
- Oh, Peter.
839
01:46:36,518 --> 01:46:39,316
- I'm sorry.
- Stop laughing.
840
01:46:40,358 --> 01:46:42,474
Can you please stop laughing?
841
01:46:44,558 --> 01:46:45,991
I missed you.
842
01:46:46,998 --> 01:46:47,987
I just...
843
01:46:48,118 --> 01:46:52,509
You know, I actually wanted to tell you
that I've been thinking so much about...
844
01:47:40,958 --> 01:47:44,792
NARRATOR: This fall, Sarah Marshall is back
in a brand-new role.
845
01:47:44,918 --> 01:47:48,513
Your wife had no enemies
that you're aware of.
846
01:47:48,638 --> 01:47:51,106
Get ready for the most daring show
on television.
847
01:47:51,238 --> 01:47:54,389
- Just came home, and she was lying there.
- Right.
848
01:47:54,518 --> 01:47:57,635
In a world
where you don't know who to trust.
849
01:48:00,998 --> 01:48:03,717
Charlie, who's Franco Marconi?
850
01:48:03,838 --> 01:48:06,750
- No. No.
- Gun, gun, gun, gun. Drop it, drop it.
851
01:48:06,878 --> 01:48:08,914
Go with your animal instincts.
852
01:48:13,038 --> 01:48:16,189
- How did you know?
- She's an animal psychic.
853
01:48:17,198 --> 01:48:20,349
Sarah Marshall returns on Animal Instincts.
854
01:48:21,118 --> 01:48:22,233
Life's a bitch.
855
01:48:22,358 --> 01:48:24,030
And where you're going,
that's exactly what you'll be.
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