Genre: Comedy, Romance
1
00:00:26,255 --> 00:00:27,222
(GRACE KELL YPLAYING)
2
00:00:27,222 --> 00:00:28,052
(GRACE KELL YPLAYING)
3
00:00:30,058 --> 00:00:33,824
Do I attract you?
Do I repulse you with my queasy smile?
4
00:00:33,996 --> 00:00:35,896
Am I too dirty?
Am I too flirty?
5
00:00:35,998 --> 00:00:38,796
Do I like what you like?
Why don't you like me?
6
00:00:38,900 --> 00:00:39,234
Why don't you like me
Without making me try?
7
00:00:39,234 --> 00:00:41,759
Why don't you like me
Without making me try?
8
00:00:41,870 --> 00:00:44,236
I try to be like Grace Kelly
9
00:00:45,607 --> 00:00:48,167
But all her looks were too sad
10
00:00:49,711 --> 00:00:51,975
So I try a little Freddie
11
00:00:53,682 --> 00:00:56,947
I've gone identity mad!
12
00:00:57,519 --> 00:00:59,612
I could be brown
I could be blue
13
00:00:59,755 --> 00:01:01,245
Gotta be everything more
14
00:01:01,356 --> 00:01:03,381
Why don't you like me?
Why don't you like me?
15
00:01:03,492 --> 00:01:05,221
Why don't you walk out the door?
16
00:01:05,327 --> 00:01:06,919
-Here you go, sweetie.
-Oh, thanks.
17
00:01:07,029 --> 00:01:09,054
I tried banana nut sprout this morning.
18
00:01:09,731 --> 00:01:11,221
Thought, you know,
a little change of pace,
19
00:01:11,333 --> 00:01:14,632
thought somebody deserves
something special for his birthday.
20
00:01:14,736 --> 00:01:15,760
Yeah. It's good.
21
00:01:15,871 --> 00:01:18,635
Okay, so I made
reservations tonight at Babbo at 8:30.
22
00:01:18,740 --> 00:01:22,437
I thought maybe we could talk about,
you know, setting a date?
23
00:01:23,445 --> 00:01:25,970
Did you just make a plan to make a plan?
24
00:01:26,114 --> 00:01:27,979
-Did I just do that again?
-Yeah, you did.
25
00:01:28,083 --> 00:01:30,074
-Sorry.
-It's all right.
26
00:01:30,452 --> 00:01:32,249
All right, I'll see you later, okay?
27
00:01:32,354 --> 00:01:34,879
-Hey, hey, hey! Love you.
-Love you, too.
28
00:01:35,257 --> 00:01:36,747
-Bye.
-Bye.
29
00:01:36,925 --> 00:01:38,916
-Happy birthday!
-You, too!
30
00:01:41,029 --> 00:01:42,018
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
31
00:01:44,032 --> 00:01:46,694
Hello, sir.
Would you like to buy some cookies?
32
00:01:46,968 --> 00:01:50,404
I would. I really would. I just...
33
00:01:51,039 --> 00:01:52,006
(EX CLAIMS )
34
00:01:52,107 --> 00:01:53,506
Unfortunately, I don't have any money.
35
00:01:53,775 --> 00:01:55,743
I don't have any cookies.
36
00:01:58,847 --> 00:01:59,814
Jack?
37
00:02:01,350 --> 00:02:02,942
I need a key.
38
00:02:09,291 --> 00:02:10,258
Wow.
39
00:02:11,426 --> 00:02:13,326
Wow. That...
40
00:02:14,830 --> 00:02:15,819
A key?
41
00:02:15,931 --> 00:02:17,956
What? No! I want a key.
42
00:02:18,066 --> 00:02:20,728
Like an actual key to your apartment
so I don't have to wait outside
43
00:02:20,836 --> 00:02:22,963
when I'm dressed
in these little slutty outfits.
44
00:02:23,071 --> 00:02:25,232
I don't want to live with you.
45
00:02:25,340 --> 00:02:27,171
No offense.
46
00:02:27,275 --> 00:02:29,766
And you know I mean this
in the nicest possible way.
47
00:02:29,878 --> 00:02:33,314
You're not exactly
serious boyfriend/marriage material.
48
00:02:33,582 --> 00:02:35,641
And I pride myself on that.
49
00:02:36,651 --> 00:02:39,051
I gotta go. I'll see you next week.
What're we doing?
50
00:02:39,154 --> 00:02:43,181
Mother of the baby saved from the fire
and the sexy shirtless fireman?
51
00:02:44,226 --> 00:02:46,091
I could be brown
I could be blue
52
00:02:46,194 --> 00:02:48,128
I could be violet sky
53
00:02:48,230 --> 00:02:50,095
I could be hurtful
I could be purple
54
00:02:50,198 --> 00:02:52,063
I could be anything you like
55
00:02:52,167 --> 00:02:54,032
Gotta be green
Gotta be mean
56
00:02:54,136 --> 00:02:56,036
Gotta be everything more
57
00:02:56,138 --> 00:02:57,935
Why don't you like me?
Why don't you like me?
58
00:02:58,039 --> 00:02:59,836
Why don't you walk out the door?
59
00:02:59,941 --> 00:03:01,806
I could be brown
I could be blue
60
00:03:01,910 --> 00:03:03,844
Gotta be everything more
61
00:03:03,945 --> 00:03:05,845
Why don't you like me?
Why don't you like me?
62
00:03:05,947 --> 00:03:08,142
Why don't you walk out the door?
63
00:03:11,820 --> 00:03:14,254
-McNally.
-Chong.
64
00:03:14,356 --> 00:03:15,823
(BELL RINGING)
65
00:03:15,924 --> 00:03:17,414
(ALL SHOUTING)
66
00:03:18,727 --> 00:03:20,558
(COMMENTA TOR CHA TTERING ON TV)
67
00:03:20,996 --> 00:03:23,021
(ALL CHEERING)
68
00:03:26,401 --> 00:03:27,368
Not now.
69
00:03:27,669 --> 00:03:31,696
Hey! Hey! Hey, hey! Here we go! Yeah!
That's looking good! All right!
70
00:03:31,807 --> 00:03:34,742
That's good form right there.
Let's keep that up, huh?
71
00:03:34,843 --> 00:03:38,210
That's a beautiful veneer. Just throw that
on the edge-band and we're set.
72
00:03:38,313 --> 00:03:40,247
-All right!
-Hey, Jack?
73
00:03:40,348 --> 00:03:43,875
-Do you know what time it is?
-What? I can't hear you over the saw.
74
00:03:43,985 --> 00:03:45,475
We're in the zone over here.
I don't want to lose focus.
75
00:03:45,587 --> 00:03:47,282
That's how people lose fingers, huh?
76
00:03:47,389 --> 00:03:50,586
-You're fired.
-All right. We are fired up, boys!
77
00:03:50,692 --> 00:03:52,626
You are fired!
78
00:03:54,963 --> 00:03:56,021
All right.
79
00:03:56,731 --> 00:03:59,325
I'll play you for it. You win, I'm out.
80
00:04:00,035 --> 00:04:02,526
I win. I get a second chance.
81
00:04:02,637 --> 00:04:05,868
It's not a second chance
when you've had a hundred of them.
82
00:04:13,048 --> 00:04:18,042
Oh! Nine-seven! Keeping my job! Yeah!
83
00:04:22,224 --> 00:04:23,816
Okay. All right.
84
00:04:23,925 --> 00:04:26,325
-I'll give you one.
-Do you know what?
85
00:04:26,428 --> 00:04:27,690
You're supposed to be the future boss,
86
00:04:27,796 --> 00:04:30,492
but you're too busy
being the life of the party.
87
00:04:30,632 --> 00:04:33,567
At some point, you're gonna have
to step up and be a man.
88
00:04:33,668 --> 00:04:36,501
(GRUNTING)
89
00:04:38,206 --> 00:04:42,267
-Eight-nine! Unemployment!
-Okay, man. You want to play?
90
00:04:45,180 --> 00:04:47,808
Nine-nine! Food stamps! Tastes so good.
91
00:04:51,686 --> 00:04:52,948
(EX CLAIMS )
92
00:04:53,054 --> 00:04:56,922
-Okay, that's not even a shot.
-The boss got game! The boss got game!
93
00:04:57,692 --> 00:04:59,785
Ten-nine. This is it, Jack.
94
00:05:04,199 --> 00:05:08,533
-You know what? This is ridiculous.
-You know what? That's your problem.
95
00:05:08,637 --> 00:05:13,074
You can't handle the pressure. As soon
as you think you're going to lose, you quit.
96
00:05:16,478 --> 00:05:17,809
Game over, Jack.
97
00:05:17,913 --> 00:05:20,245
Don't get me wrong.
You're like a son to me.
98
00:05:20,348 --> 00:05:26,184
-Dad, I am your son.
-Yeah, and it's time to cut the cord.
99
00:05:26,621 --> 00:05:28,646
Let's go clean out your desk.
100
00:05:32,494 --> 00:05:35,224
Mason has no idea, not an idea at all.
101
00:05:35,430 --> 00:05:39,127
-That you're pathetic, or...
-What, do you think I went overboard?
102
00:05:39,968 --> 00:05:43,062
No. No, I think it's the exact
right amount of board.
103
00:05:43,171 --> 00:05:45,366
Which is what I am right now.
Can we start drinking?
104
00:05:45,473 --> 00:05:47,805
Of course. Okay, lookit!
These are for Mason.
105
00:05:47,909 --> 00:05:49,035
What's that?
106
00:05:49,778 --> 00:05:51,245
Vegas? I thought you hated Vegas.
107
00:05:51,346 --> 00:05:53,439
I do, but, you know,
that's why they call it a gift tip,
108
00:05:53,548 --> 00:05:57,279
-because it truly is selfless.
-Oh, thanks.
109
00:05:59,988 --> 00:06:02,252
Okay, everyone listen!
I'm going to bring him in,
110
00:06:02,357 --> 00:06:05,485
I'm gonna turn on the lights, and that's
when you yell, "Surprise! "
111
00:06:05,594 --> 00:06:08,062
Oh, that's how a surprise party works!
I'm totally gonna write that down.
112
00:06:08,163 --> 00:06:10,825
Okay. Everyone, hide! Hide, hide, hide!
113
00:06:13,802 --> 00:06:14,860
(SHUSHING)
114
00:06:16,404 --> 00:06:17,735
-Hi, sweetie!
-Hey!
115
00:06:17,839 --> 00:06:20,899
Welcome home. Happy birthday.
Okay, come inside...
116
00:06:21,009 --> 00:06:24,172
-Listen, Joy. We need to talk.
-Okay. Well, let's do it inside. Okay?
117
00:06:24,279 --> 00:06:26,611
No, no, no. I can't, or I'll never do this.
118
00:06:26,715 --> 00:06:28,080
Look, there's no easy way to say this.
119
00:06:28,183 --> 00:06:30,014
Okay, then don't. Okay? Just think it,
120
00:06:30,118 --> 00:06:32,382
and then later, I'll try to figure out
what it was you were thinking.
121
00:06:32,487 --> 00:06:33,681
Okay? Let's just go inside.
122
00:06:33,788 --> 00:06:36,518
No, no, no, no, no, no!
This can't wait, Joy.
123
00:06:37,359 --> 00:06:38,986
You know I have a really important job.
124
00:06:39,094 --> 00:06:40,118
-Right?
-Yeah.
125
00:06:40,228 --> 00:06:43,254
So when I come home,
I want this place to be an escape.
126
00:06:43,365 --> 00:06:46,528
And as of late, it's not.
127
00:06:46,835 --> 00:06:51,169
Yes, the sex is great, okay?
I mean, that's fantastic,
128
00:06:51,272 --> 00:06:55,368
and I can't tell you how much I appreciate
all the things you've been trying
129
00:06:55,844 --> 00:06:56,811
with my butt.
130
00:06:56,911 --> 00:06:57,900
(GASPS )
131
00:06:58,013 --> 00:07:00,413
But the rest is so exhausting.
132
00:07:00,915 --> 00:07:05,011
You're so on all the time, with all the
scheduling and planning, it's just...
133
00:07:05,654 --> 00:07:07,849
I don't want to marry you, Joy.
134
00:07:09,024 --> 00:07:10,855
I'm leaving you.
135
00:07:12,227 --> 00:07:15,128
Well, I mean, this is my place, so
technically, you would be the one
136
00:07:15,230 --> 00:07:18,028
that has to leave, but... Are you crying?
137
00:07:21,102 --> 00:07:22,626
Surprise.
138
00:07:23,104 --> 00:07:26,301
-Oh, shitballs.
-Yeah.
139
00:07:26,675 --> 00:07:27,642
Hey!
140
00:07:28,143 --> 00:07:29,804
Hey. Here...
141
00:07:31,012 --> 00:07:32,741
Do you have any idea
how much money I've made him?
142
00:07:32,847 --> 00:07:35,577
You're my lawyer.
Can I sue him for something?
143
00:07:35,917 --> 00:07:38,977
Well, the problem with suing your father
is that he's your dad.
144
00:07:39,087 --> 00:07:40,782
He'd love it. He'd think we were bonding.
145
00:07:40,889 --> 00:07:41,856
(LAUGHS )
146
00:07:41,956 --> 00:07:45,551
Maybe he would be! You don't know.
Take him to court. It might be nice.
147
00:07:45,660 --> 00:07:49,255
-What am I gonna do about money?
-You're just realizing that right now?
148
00:07:49,364 --> 00:07:52,094
-Fascinating.
-I could do a lot of things for money.
149
00:07:52,200 --> 00:07:53,531
I'm good at stuff.
150
00:07:53,635 --> 00:07:56,570
I'll bet you $5
I can finish this beer faster than you.
151
00:07:56,671 --> 00:07:59,231
Really? You're on.
152
00:08:02,043 --> 00:08:03,670
He doesn't even deserve me.
153
00:08:03,778 --> 00:08:05,803
Here's my thought on what we should do
with this whole Mason thing.
154
00:08:05,914 --> 00:08:06,938
-Okay.
-Once a week,
155
00:08:07,048 --> 00:08:08,675
we get some of my brother's
loser-ass friends
156
00:08:08,783 --> 00:08:11,445
to go over to Mason's house,
ring his doorbell,
157
00:08:11,553 --> 00:08:14,386
and when he answers,
they're just gonna, bang,
158
00:08:14,489 --> 00:08:16,923
junkpunch him
right up in his man business
159
00:08:17,025 --> 00:08:18,185
and then he's gonna keel over.
160
00:08:18,293 --> 00:08:21,262
While he's writhing on the ground
screaming, "Why?"
161
00:08:21,362 --> 00:08:23,455
they'll go, "You know why! "
162
00:08:24,499 --> 00:08:26,899
Wow! Did you just think of that?
163
00:08:27,001 --> 00:08:28,662
No, I was thinking about it a lot
on the way over.
164
00:08:30,472 --> 00:08:31,439
You are a child!
165
00:08:31,539 --> 00:08:32,506
(JACK GROANING)
166
00:08:32,607 --> 00:08:35,633
-What is that? What is that?
-Double or nothing.
167
00:08:35,744 --> 00:08:37,371
Joy, you're gonna need
to take off this ring.
168
00:08:37,479 --> 00:08:40,039
No, I... I'm just... I'm just gonna...
169
00:08:40,148 --> 00:08:42,639
I'm just going to wear it
on the other hand.
170
00:08:43,184 --> 00:08:44,776
You're on fire. Man, you are on fire.
171
00:08:44,886 --> 00:08:46,854
This is like... I mean, you're lucky.
172
00:08:46,955 --> 00:08:49,321
-I don't feel good.
-We need to capitalize on this.
173
00:08:49,424 --> 00:08:50,413
You know what's gonna
make you feel better?
174
00:08:50,525 --> 00:08:51,514
What?
175
00:08:51,659 --> 00:08:54,822
Where's the one place where
you can step up and be a man?
176
00:08:54,963 --> 00:08:56,055
Community college?
177
00:08:56,164 --> 00:08:59,691
Where can you go where
you can forget all your troubles
178
00:08:59,801 --> 00:09:01,701
and act like a total idiot?
179
00:09:01,836 --> 00:09:05,966
I am talking about one place
and one place only, my friend.
180
00:09:06,174 --> 00:09:07,300
Do not say Vegas.
181
00:09:07,509 --> 00:09:08,476
Please say Vegas.
182
00:09:08,643 --> 00:09:10,304
-Vegas, baby.
-Vegas?
183
00:09:10,512 --> 00:09:11,809
-Las Vegas?
-What?
184
00:09:11,913 --> 00:09:13,778
Swish it around in your mouth a little bit.
Think about it.
185
00:09:13,882 --> 00:09:15,509
-Vegas!
-Vegas.
186
00:09:15,617 --> 00:09:17,551
-Carefree.
-Say it like you mean it.
187
00:09:17,652 --> 00:09:19,381
-Spontaneous.
-I can't hear you!
188
00:09:19,487 --> 00:09:21,079
-Vegas!
-Vegas?
189
00:09:21,189 --> 00:09:23,054
-Vegas!
-Vegas!
190
00:09:23,191 --> 00:09:24,658
-Vegas!
-Vegas!
191
00:09:24,759 --> 00:09:26,590
-Vegas!
-Vegas!
192
00:09:31,966 --> 00:09:33,866
MAN: Hello, Las Vegas!
193
00:09:38,406 --> 00:09:39,373
Wow.
194
00:09:41,142 --> 00:09:42,109
Vegas.
195
00:09:43,678 --> 00:09:46,613
Everyone, I'm so sorry,
but our computers are down right now,
196
00:09:46,714 --> 00:09:49,410
so just bear with us, please.
I'm sorry. I know.
197
00:09:50,051 --> 00:09:51,382
(LAUGHING)
198
00:09:53,254 --> 00:09:55,984
Okay, your fiancé is one lucky guy.
199
00:09:56,424 --> 00:09:57,391
I love Vegas!
200
00:10:00,695 --> 00:10:02,526
Time to get a big-boy drink.
201
00:10:03,832 --> 00:10:07,768
I'll have a vodka and a Scotch.
202
00:10:13,641 --> 00:10:14,630
(EX CLAIMS )
203
00:10:14,742 --> 00:10:19,577
This is where I'm passing out.
Pants, you're out of here.
204
00:10:27,589 --> 00:10:32,049
(ALL SCREAMING)
205
00:10:34,395 --> 00:10:36,522
Did we ever tell you
you scream like a girl?
206
00:10:39,267 --> 00:10:42,168
My eyes! It burns!
207
00:10:44,505 --> 00:10:47,201
My head!
My head and my eyes are burning!
208
00:10:47,809 --> 00:10:48,776
My back!
209
00:10:51,679 --> 00:10:53,670
My nose! My nose now!
210
00:11:01,823 --> 00:11:04,223
Whoa ! Whoa ! Take it easy!
211
00:11:04,392 --> 00:11:06,223
(ALL CONTINUE SCREAMING)
212
00:11:13,968 --> 00:11:17,870
It's okay! It's okay! They're gay!
213
00:11:17,972 --> 00:11:19,564
-What?
-They're gay!
214
00:11:19,674 --> 00:11:21,574
(GASPING)
215
00:11:22,744 --> 00:11:25,508
This... No, no, this is not
what it looks like.
216
00:11:25,613 --> 00:11:27,342
We just...
We all got booked in the same room.
217
00:11:27,448 --> 00:11:31,384
Let's just go downstairs.
I smell an upgrade!
218
00:11:32,387 --> 00:11:34,947
-You guys aren't gay?
-No.
219
00:11:35,056 --> 00:11:36,887
(JOY AND TIPPER SCREAMING)
220
00:11:39,160 --> 00:11:40,286
(GIGGLING)
221
00:11:41,663 --> 00:11:43,426
-I got this.
-No.
222
00:11:43,865 --> 00:11:45,890
Just let me handle it, okay?
223
00:11:47,201 --> 00:11:48,168
Okay.
224
00:11:48,636 --> 00:11:51,036
Curtis. You and I have a problem.
225
00:11:51,372 --> 00:11:52,839
I think we both know
how this game works.
226
00:11:52,941 --> 00:11:55,341
I complain, and you tell me
there's nothing you can do,
227
00:11:55,443 --> 00:11:57,741
but we both know that's a big, fat lie,
228
00:11:57,979 --> 00:11:59,970
so why don't you just
save us both the trouble
229
00:12:00,081 --> 00:12:01,446
and type in those special codes
230
00:12:01,549 --> 00:12:03,414
that you know
you're gonna type in eventually
231
00:12:03,518 --> 00:12:07,386
and find me two rooms that are so nice
232
00:12:08,022 --> 00:12:10,217
that it turns my night right back around?
233
00:12:10,825 --> 00:12:13,658
She's awfully hostile for a girl named Joy.
234
00:12:15,396 --> 00:12:18,593
I'm going to do exactly
what you're telling me to do, because
235
00:12:19,534 --> 00:12:20,899
I'm a little frightened of you.
236
00:12:21,002 --> 00:12:22,128
These are penthouse suites.
237
00:12:22,236 --> 00:12:24,636
You can't get any higher than that
without going on the roof,
238
00:12:24,739 --> 00:12:28,539
and you're not allowed on the roof,
because people jump.
239
00:12:34,182 --> 00:12:35,547
Penthouse suites.
240
00:12:35,683 --> 00:12:37,014
-Nice!
-No!
241
00:12:37,118 --> 00:12:38,983
-Yeah.
-That's not bad.
242
00:12:39,087 --> 00:12:40,816
Well, you're welcome.
243
00:12:41,622 --> 00:12:42,919
Now watch and learn.
244
00:12:44,459 --> 00:12:46,086
-Hey, buddy.
-Oh, hi. How are you?
245
00:12:46,194 --> 00:12:49,095
I think you just met my friend back there.
246
00:12:49,197 --> 00:12:50,596
Kind of a scary person.
247
00:12:50,698 --> 00:12:52,222
Oh, Egyptian cotton. That's nice.
248
00:12:52,900 --> 00:12:54,891
I want to apologize for her.
For three weeks out of the month,
249
00:12:55,003 --> 00:12:56,903
we get to enjoy
God's most precious creation,
250
00:12:57,005 --> 00:12:58,996
and on week four, the bill arrives.
251
00:12:59,107 --> 00:13:00,904
(LAUGHS ) I know what you mean.
252
00:13:01,009 --> 00:13:03,239
Look, I don't want to push here,
253
00:13:03,344 --> 00:13:07,075
but I know that a man in your position
is capable of producing certain amenities.
254
00:13:07,648 --> 00:13:09,240
(TELEPHONE RINGING)
255
00:13:10,551 --> 00:13:12,519
CURTIS: Planet Hollywood. Yeah.
256
00:13:12,620 --> 00:13:13,644
(GASPING)
257
00:13:13,755 --> 00:13:14,949
HATER: VIP!
258
00:13:22,463 --> 00:13:26,331
Hey. So, you're from New York,
we're from New York.
259
00:13:27,668 --> 00:13:30,831
-We're going to Le Cirque, please!
-Come on.
260
00:13:32,140 --> 00:13:35,371
Look, I didn't bring my buddy
all the way out to Vegas
261
00:13:35,576 --> 00:13:37,066
so he could get his ass kicked. Right?
262
00:13:37,178 --> 00:13:38,907
So the least you could do is help me
show him a good time.
263
00:13:39,013 --> 00:13:42,073
Your buddy wouldn't know a good time
if it sat on his face.
264
00:13:42,183 --> 00:13:46,449
Okay, you know what, Stripper?
You are kind of a disgusting skank.
265
00:13:46,554 --> 00:13:48,545
Driver, we'll get out here! Thank you!
266
00:13:48,656 --> 00:13:49,714
-Okay, bye!
-Thank you.
267
00:13:49,824 --> 00:13:52,520
-Use a condom, boys.
-Bye-bye. Bye. Just go!
268
00:13:56,397 --> 00:13:57,989
Oh, come on. One drink.
269
00:13:58,099 --> 00:14:00,533
I'm a pretty fun guy. You can ask around.
270
00:14:01,436 --> 00:14:03,768
Thanks, but we have dinner reservations.
271
00:14:03,871 --> 00:14:06,897
And we have to map out our assault
on the strip.
272
00:14:07,475 --> 00:14:10,273
You have a plan to make plans?
273
00:14:15,716 --> 00:14:16,978
Excuse me?
274
00:14:17,819 --> 00:14:20,344
I bet you look really good
with your hair down.
275
00:14:20,455 --> 00:14:22,514
-My hair is down.
-One drink!
276
00:14:24,058 --> 00:14:25,423
I dare you!
277
00:14:33,534 --> 00:14:36,526
Did I invent hip-hop? No. But I was there.
278
00:14:37,071 --> 00:14:39,437
-Thank you.
-You're welcome.
279
00:14:39,807 --> 00:14:41,468
-So, Joy.
-Yeah?
280
00:14:41,576 --> 00:14:43,339
What brings you to Sin City?
281
00:14:43,444 --> 00:14:46,345
You know, just being spontaneous,
282
00:14:46,447 --> 00:14:48,813
cutting loose, like everyone else.
How about yourself?
283
00:14:48,916 --> 00:14:52,044
Yeah. Me? Oh, I'm here on business.
284
00:14:52,153 --> 00:14:55,020
Big business, actually. I'm...
285
00:14:55,123 --> 00:14:56,613
I'm a pretty important guy
286
00:14:56,824 --> 00:14:58,314
in my field.
287
00:14:59,026 --> 00:15:00,186
Really?
288
00:15:01,195 --> 00:15:02,162
No.
289
00:15:03,064 --> 00:15:04,258
Actually,
290
00:15:06,200 --> 00:15:10,967
I just got fired. So, cheers to that.
291
00:15:14,742 --> 00:15:18,234
I just got dumped, so, salud,
292
00:15:19,413 --> 00:15:22,382
Did I mention that I got fired
by my boss-slash-father?
293
00:15:22,483 --> 00:15:25,941
Did I mention that I threw
a surprise birthday party for my fiancé
294
00:15:26,053 --> 00:15:29,113
and the surprise was that he dumped me
in front of all of our closest friends
295
00:15:29,223 --> 00:15:31,384
while they hid in the closet?
296
00:15:31,759 --> 00:15:33,522
Wow. Okay, you win.
297
00:15:33,628 --> 00:15:36,153
Excuse me.
We're gonna need a whole bottle.
298
00:15:36,264 --> 00:15:39,233
I saved a baby today.
I'm not a hero, though.
299
00:15:39,333 --> 00:15:42,166
-You know what I mean? I'm not a...
-He's married.
300
00:15:42,270 --> 00:15:45,671
This is my lesbian sister.
Tell her about your softball game.
301
00:15:45,773 --> 00:15:47,331
Tell her about your softball team.
302
00:15:49,277 --> 00:15:52,769
What do you say we bet 10-to-1,
with $125 on the hard eight?
303
00:15:52,880 --> 00:15:55,280
-MAN: Bets are right there.
-All right. Roll them out.
304
00:15:55,383 --> 00:15:59,080
No, no, no, no, no. I wouldn't...
I wouldn't bet on me winning.
305
00:15:59,654 --> 00:16:01,747
You roll, princess.
306
00:16:03,057 --> 00:16:06,026
All right. Go, 44! 44!
307
00:16:06,127 --> 00:16:07,253
(ALL CHEERING)
308
00:16:09,263 --> 00:16:10,252
(DANCE MUSIC PLA YING ON PA)
309
00:16:10,364 --> 00:16:12,389
JOY: This is my party trick. Here it goes.
310
00:16:12,500 --> 00:16:14,331
What are you gonna do?
Are you going to cut...
311
00:16:14,802 --> 00:16:15,769
(LAUGHING)
312
00:16:17,171 --> 00:16:18,570
You know, you were right about me.
313
00:16:18,673 --> 00:16:19,799
You just cut it off!
314
00:16:19,907 --> 00:16:23,399
It's like you're trying to come in first
but it's somebody else's race.
315
00:16:25,146 --> 00:16:27,774
-It's like Egypt!
-It's amazing!
316
00:16:28,015 --> 00:16:31,109
You never felt good enough,
so you took yourself out of the game.
317
00:16:32,587 --> 00:16:35,613
To everyone who's ever been dumped
318
00:16:35,723 --> 00:16:36,690
(ALL CHEERING)
319
00:16:36,791 --> 00:16:38,986
and to everyone who has ever been fired,
320
00:16:39,093 --> 00:16:40,060
(ALL CHEERING)
321
00:16:40,294 --> 00:16:43,263
when I say, "Screw! " you say, "You! "
322
00:16:43,431 --> 00:16:44,989
-Screw!
-ALL: You!
323
00:16:45,099 --> 00:16:46,532
-Screw!
-ALL: You!
324
00:16:46,634 --> 00:16:47,623
(ALL CHEERING)
325
00:16:47,735 --> 00:16:48,724
Yes!
326
00:16:56,944 --> 00:16:59,742
I think I just got to the point
where I wasn't even trying.
327
00:16:59,847 --> 00:17:01,371
JOY: Why should you try?
328
00:17:01,482 --> 00:17:04,747
I work 80 hours a week
and I don't even know why.
329
00:17:05,620 --> 00:17:07,315
I've been so naughty!
330
00:17:07,421 --> 00:17:09,582
Out of my way! Out of my way!
331
00:17:10,291 --> 00:17:11,815
I'm not usually this honest.
332
00:17:12,226 --> 00:17:13,887
I'm usually not this fun.
333
00:17:14,128 --> 00:17:15,891
(SCREAMING)
334
00:17:20,034 --> 00:17:21,865
(ALL CHEERING)
335
00:17:25,406 --> 00:17:26,430
The best part is...
336
00:17:26,540 --> 00:17:28,599
-We can really talk.
-Really connect.
337
00:17:28,709 --> 00:17:32,338
Yeah, 'cause you're like the last person
on the planet I'd ever sleep with!
338
00:17:32,446 --> 00:17:34,175
Ever! Ever! Ever!
339
00:17:37,051 --> 00:17:38,951
JOY: This is gonna be fun!
340
00:17:53,567 --> 00:17:54,534
(DOOR OPENS )
341
00:17:55,002 --> 00:17:55,969
(DOOR CLOSES )
342
00:18:05,746 --> 00:18:08,442
Oh, God. Please be fake. Please be fake.
343
00:18:09,183 --> 00:18:10,150
(GASPS )
344
00:18:11,085 --> 00:18:12,746
Oh, God.
345
00:18:21,729 --> 00:18:25,062
(GASPING)
346
00:18:33,007 --> 00:18:34,269
(SCREAMS )
347
00:18:35,076 --> 00:18:38,705
No, no, please, please, please!
Oh, please, please, no!
348
00:18:38,813 --> 00:18:41,373
You can't get divorced here, okay?
You gotta do it where you live.
349
00:18:41,482 --> 00:18:44,144
Besides, you don't want a divorce,
all right? You want an annulment.
350
00:18:44,251 --> 00:18:47,448
See, what happens in Vegas, you pay for
when you get back home.
351
00:18:47,555 --> 00:18:48,613
That's what the thing is.
352
00:18:48,723 --> 00:18:50,088
Was there any part of the night,
353
00:18:50,191 --> 00:18:53,160
I don't know, maybe, say, the part where
I was about to marry the rebound guy,
354
00:18:53,260 --> 00:18:54,727
that you thought, "Hey, oh my God!
355
00:18:54,829 --> 00:18:57,263
"This is a really good time
for an intervention"?
356
00:18:57,365 --> 00:18:58,354
-Seriously?
-Yeah.
357
00:18:58,466 --> 00:19:01,128
I, like, threw up in my own purse, so...
358
00:19:03,671 --> 00:19:05,138
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
359
00:19:07,942 --> 00:19:09,569
-Hi!
-Good morning.
360
00:19:09,677 --> 00:19:11,144
-Morning.
-Good morning.
361
00:19:11,245 --> 00:19:12,940
Morning, morning, morning.
362
00:19:13,047 --> 00:19:16,380
I could use some coffee.
363
00:19:16,984 --> 00:19:18,246
Oh, God, yeah.
364
00:19:19,353 --> 00:19:21,548
Well, what's mine is yours.
365
00:19:21,655 --> 00:19:23,384
(BOTH LAUGHING SARCASTICALLY)
366
00:19:23,491 --> 00:19:25,686
Here, well, you want to, uh...
367
00:19:26,227 --> 00:19:28,354
JACK: Mi coffee es su coffee.
368
00:19:34,402 --> 00:19:37,132
-JOY: This is good orange juice.
-Yeah. It's very good.
369
00:19:37,238 --> 00:19:39,035
JACK: It's ridiculously good.
The orange juice is good.
370
00:19:39,140 --> 00:19:41,973
-I don't usually like pulp. You a fan?
-Not really.
371
00:19:43,778 --> 00:19:45,211
-Jack?
-Yes.
372
00:19:45,913 --> 00:19:48,507
-Can I talk to you for a second?
-Yep.
373
00:19:49,383 --> 00:19:51,442
Yes. Yep. Talk. Sure.
374
00:19:52,520 --> 00:19:53,817
They're so cute together!
375
00:19:53,921 --> 00:19:57,584
If I could make someone dead
with my mind, it would be you.
376
00:20:10,304 --> 00:20:11,532
-Yo.
-Hey.
377
00:20:14,842 --> 00:20:15,831
So!
378
00:20:18,879 --> 00:20:20,904
-Great night, huh?
-Yeah!
379
00:20:21,015 --> 00:20:24,041
I mean, you are a lot of fun, Joy.
380
00:20:26,086 --> 00:20:27,383
-I am?
-Yeah!
381
00:20:27,488 --> 00:20:29,979
A lot of fun. That... I mean, last night was
382
00:20:31,992 --> 00:20:32,959
so
383
00:20:33,794 --> 00:20:35,091
great.
384
00:20:35,996 --> 00:20:39,454
Actually, you know, there was like...
Maybe there was one tiny little thing...
385
00:20:39,567 --> 00:20:41,865
I think I know what you mean.
386
00:20:43,671 --> 00:20:44,933
Okay, this...
387
00:20:45,039 --> 00:20:47,473
There's no easy way to say this,
so I'm just going to...
388
00:20:47,575 --> 00:20:49,736
Whoa, whoa. Wait. Are...
389
00:20:50,444 --> 00:20:51,604
Are you
390
00:20:52,646 --> 00:20:54,273
-dumping me?
-You didn't...
391
00:20:54,381 --> 00:20:56,372
No! I was coming down here to dump you!
392
00:20:56,484 --> 00:20:58,179
-Oh! Jeez... Okay, so we're good!
-Yeah!
393
00:20:58,385 --> 00:21:00,683
-Okay, disaster averted!
-You said it!
394
00:21:00,788 --> 00:21:03,154
-Yeah, no. Bullet dodged!
-You betcha !
395
00:21:03,257 --> 00:21:05,282
I mean, pooch unscrewed! Free at last!
396
00:21:05,392 --> 00:21:08,054
-Thank God Almighty, I'm free at last.
-Okay. I got it, okay?
397
00:21:08,162 --> 00:21:10,494
-Got it.
-Okay. I'm sorry. I...
398
00:21:10,764 --> 00:21:13,597
You just seem like the type of girl
who's looking for a serious relationship,
399
00:21:13,701 --> 00:21:15,566
and I'm not that... I mean, you... Like...
400
00:21:15,669 --> 00:21:18,194
No offense,
but you seem like a lot of work.
401
00:21:18,305 --> 00:21:21,433
Like it would take, like,
a team of guys, and I'm not...
402
00:21:22,676 --> 00:21:26,339
Marriages are an outdated concept...
403
00:21:26,480 --> 00:21:28,243
Are you dumping me again?
404
00:21:28,349 --> 00:21:31,580
-I'm in a really weird place right now...
-Where's that, Jack? The starting line?
405
00:21:31,685 --> 00:21:36,019
Because I have news for you, buddy.
The gun went off a long time ago.
406
00:21:36,323 --> 00:21:38,484
Okay! Look at that!
Good luck with the job, huh?
407
00:21:38,592 --> 00:21:41,083
"Employee handles criticism poorly! "
408
00:21:42,162 --> 00:21:44,130
Well, then maybe
you should teach a seminar, Jack,
409
00:21:44,231 --> 00:21:46,597
considering you can't even keep a job
with your own father!
410
00:21:46,700 --> 00:21:49,965
You know, the one person who's
biologically programed to love you,
411
00:21:50,070 --> 00:21:52,368
and even he can't stand you!
412
00:21:52,573 --> 00:21:56,134
Look at that. You had to come all the way
to Vegas and marry a complete stranger
413
00:21:56,243 --> 00:22:00,077
just to prove that you're not a robot.
Congratulations, Joy! That was a feeling!
414
00:22:00,180 --> 00:22:02,648
Oh, I have a feeling, all right!
It's called nausea !
415
00:22:02,750 --> 00:22:04,650
(IMITATING ROBOT) Yeah?
"Oh, I have a feeling, all right!
416
00:22:04,752 --> 00:22:05,719
"It's called nausea ! "
417
00:22:05,853 --> 00:22:08,481
-How old are you, five?
-Six, actually. I'm six.
418
00:22:08,589 --> 00:22:09,715
You know, this is why we'd never work.
419
00:22:09,823 --> 00:22:13,953
'Cause I could never, ever be with
someone that's so completely broken!
420
00:22:14,161 --> 00:22:15,458
-Broken?
-Broken!
421
00:22:15,563 --> 00:22:17,724
Broken. You know what?
You don't even know me, mister!
422
00:22:17,831 --> 00:22:20,493
No, I don't know you,
and I got a feeling that neither do you.
423
00:22:20,601 --> 00:22:22,159
You know what?
I'll call you about the annulment.
424
00:22:22,269 --> 00:22:25,898
How about this?
Why don't you just e-mail me?
425
00:22:27,508 --> 00:22:28,497
Hey. Hey, hey, hey!
426
00:22:28,609 --> 00:22:31,305
-We'll always have Vegas!
-Hey! That's my quarter!
427
00:22:39,920 --> 00:22:43,686
(JACKPOT ALARM RINGING)
428
00:22:51,165 --> 00:22:52,154
(WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS PLAYING)
429
00:22:52,266 --> 00:22:53,597
What the...
430
00:22:53,701 --> 00:22:56,670
We are the champions, my friends
431
00:22:58,939 --> 00:23:02,500
And we'll keep on fighting
till the end
432
00:23:02,610 --> 00:23:05,909
I'm really, really rich!
I'm really, really rich!
433
00:23:06,513 --> 00:23:07,480
We are the champions
434
00:23:07,581 --> 00:23:09,378
That was my quarter!
435
00:23:10,351 --> 00:23:13,081
We are the champions
436
00:23:13,187 --> 00:23:15,815
-We did it!
-Richest man in the world!
437
00:23:15,923 --> 00:23:17,914
No time for losers
'Cause we are the champions
438
00:23:18,025 --> 00:23:21,461
A big giant check! I'm so happy!
I've never been...
439
00:23:22,296 --> 00:23:23,923
I'm really happy!
440
00:23:24,398 --> 00:23:26,491
Oh, my God! That was my quarter!
441
00:23:26,600 --> 00:23:27,567
(JOY LAUGHING)
442
00:23:27,668 --> 00:23:28,794
(JACK LAUGHING SARCASTICALLY)
443
00:23:28,902 --> 00:23:31,029
Congratulations!
You just quadrupled your investment!
444
00:23:31,138 --> 00:23:32,867
What, you think this is all yours? God!
445
00:23:32,973 --> 00:23:37,069
Yes, it's mine. I put the quarter
in the machine and I pulled the lever.
446
00:23:37,177 --> 00:23:41,443
My quarter on the machine that I was
using, the one I loosened up for you!
447
00:23:41,949 --> 00:23:43,780
That's right! Now if you'll excuse me,
448
00:23:43,884 --> 00:23:46,751
I have a giant colorful check to deposit!
449
00:23:47,688 --> 00:23:50,851
Whatever happened to
"What's mine is yours, baby"?
450
00:23:51,892 --> 00:23:54,884
We're married now, remember?
451
00:23:59,533 --> 00:24:04,095
More importantly, Your Honor, my client
only knew Miss McNally for four hours
452
00:24:04,204 --> 00:24:05,728
before they "got married,"
453
00:24:05,873 --> 00:24:08,637
three and a half of which were spent
in a state of
454
00:24:08,742 --> 00:24:10,369
total inebriation.
455
00:24:11,211 --> 00:24:12,178
Mmm-hmm.
456
00:24:12,379 --> 00:24:14,609
You. Other one.
457
00:24:14,715 --> 00:24:17,980
You have any evidence that you both
knowingly entered into this marriage,
458
00:24:18,085 --> 00:24:19,552
that it's not just a sham?
459
00:24:19,653 --> 00:24:20,984
Let me see.
460
00:24:22,056 --> 00:24:24,581
Would a note do?
461
00:24:25,826 --> 00:24:27,259
It's a start.
462
00:24:31,799 --> 00:24:34,666
And then there's a photo.
463
00:24:36,570 --> 00:24:37,662
Nice.
464
00:24:39,373 --> 00:24:40,704
I didn't know anything about that.
465
00:24:40,808 --> 00:24:42,298
There's also
466
00:24:44,411 --> 00:24:47,539
-a video.
-And I am going to provide for her,
467
00:24:47,648 --> 00:24:49,513
I'm gonna love her,
468
00:24:50,250 --> 00:24:52,343
and I'm going to provide for her,
469
00:24:52,453 --> 00:24:54,751
-'cause we're married!
-Married!
470
00:24:54,855 --> 00:24:55,913
(SCREAMING)
471
00:24:56,023 --> 00:24:57,991
We're all gonna get laid!
472
00:24:59,760 --> 00:25:02,160
Was that you, Cueball? His lawyer?
473
00:25:02,963 --> 00:25:05,523
I didn't... I don't have my glasses on.
474
00:25:07,134 --> 00:25:08,101
(CLEARS THROAT)
475
00:25:10,704 --> 00:25:12,399
I don't like you.
476
00:25:12,506 --> 00:25:14,235
I don't like any of you.
477
00:25:14,341 --> 00:25:17,902
Your generation,
with your Vegas and your Internet
478
00:25:18,011 --> 00:25:20,206
and your "I want it right now."
479
00:25:20,347 --> 00:25:23,248
You know, gay people aren't destroying
the sanctity of marriage,
480
00:25:23,350 --> 00:25:24,681
you people are.
481
00:25:24,785 --> 00:25:27,379
Marriage is about love and commitment.
482
00:25:27,488 --> 00:25:33,017
Listen, I've been married for 25 years
to the same wonderful, infuriating woman,
483
00:25:33,127 --> 00:25:35,721
and granted, there are days
when I want to light her on fire,
484
00:25:35,829 --> 00:25:38,389
but I don't, because I love her,
485
00:25:38,499 --> 00:25:39,898
and that would be illegal.
486
00:25:40,000 --> 00:25:41,865
And you know something?
I might be old-fashioned,
487
00:25:41,969 --> 00:25:46,167
but when I said those vows out loud,
I meant them.
488
00:25:46,273 --> 00:25:48,173
This guy is such a douche.
489
00:25:48,275 --> 00:25:50,971
Before, or should I say if
490
00:25:51,078 --> 00:25:53,478
I ever allow either of you
out of this marriage,
491
00:25:53,580 --> 00:25:55,514
I'm going to make sure
that you try everything,
492
00:25:55,616 --> 00:25:58,813
and I do mean everything, first
to make it work.
493
00:25:58,919 --> 00:26:00,887
-Objection, Your Honor. You can't do that.
-Objection!
494
00:26:00,988 --> 00:26:03,889
Watch me. Now, do either one of you
have a place to live?
495
00:26:03,991 --> 00:26:06,357
I don't at the moment, Your Honor,
but I will.
496
00:26:06,460 --> 00:26:08,223
You see, I...
497
00:26:08,328 --> 00:26:10,489
My ex-fiancé and I broke up, and...
498
00:26:10,597 --> 00:26:14,226
You know, Mrs. Fuller, you're not helping
make your case here, okay?
499
00:26:14,968 --> 00:26:17,903
What about you, pretty boy?
You got a crash pad?
500
00:26:18,438 --> 00:26:21,373
-Yes.
-Okay, great! We have a hearth!
501
00:26:21,508 --> 00:26:24,944
I am freezing the $3 million
for the next six months
502
00:26:25,078 --> 00:26:28,775
and sentencing you two
to six months hard marriage.
503
00:26:28,882 --> 00:26:30,474
And so I can keep an eye on you,
504
00:26:30,584 --> 00:26:33,815
I'm ordering you both
into weekly marital counseling.
505
00:26:33,921 --> 00:26:35,821
I want you two to listen to me.
506
00:26:35,923 --> 00:26:41,088
You better play by my rules on this,
or I'm gonna tie this money up in litigation
507
00:26:41,195 --> 00:26:43,891
that is so long,
so protracted, so expensive
508
00:26:43,997 --> 00:26:47,899
that neither one of you
will ever see a dime of it.
509
00:26:48,669 --> 00:26:51,502
All right. Anything...
Oh, yeah! One more thing.
510
00:26:51,638 --> 00:26:54,106
I now pronounce you man and wife!
511
00:26:59,112 --> 00:27:00,704
Can he do that?
512
00:27:00,814 --> 00:27:02,611
Yeah, he's the judge.
He can do whatever he wants.
513
00:27:02,749 --> 00:27:04,546
And he clearly wants to make an example
out of you both.
514
00:27:04,651 --> 00:27:06,516
If you just do what the guy says,
515
00:27:06,620 --> 00:27:08,554
he's gonna be forced
to grant you a divorce.
516
00:27:08,655 --> 00:27:10,020
-In which case...
-You would probably...
517
00:27:10,123 --> 00:27:11,090
-...split...
-...the money...
518
00:27:11,225 --> 00:27:12,749
...equally as marital property.
519
00:27:12,860 --> 00:27:14,521
You didn't do anything in there!
520
00:27:14,628 --> 00:27:15,890
-What?
-You didn't do anything!
521
00:27:15,996 --> 00:27:18,897
I called her a vixen! I called her a vixen!
522
00:27:20,500 --> 00:27:21,489
-So?
-So.
523
00:27:21,602 --> 00:27:22,864
I can do anything for six months.
524
00:27:22,970 --> 00:27:26,269
I can not wear pants for six months.
So if you aren't up to it...
525
00:27:26,373 --> 00:27:28,000
Oh, I am so up to it.
526
00:27:28,108 --> 00:27:30,508
And if you're trying to insinuate
that I'm the one that can't do this,
527
00:27:30,611 --> 00:27:33,136
then you are sorely mistaken, short bus.
528
00:27:33,247 --> 00:27:35,078
Whoa ! Okay! So it's settled, then.
529
00:27:35,182 --> 00:27:37,480
All right. Think of it
as a business arrangement.
530
00:27:37,584 --> 00:27:40,485
Be married for six months,
get $1.5 million.
531
00:27:41,455 --> 00:27:44,481
-How hard can it be?
-I know how hard it isn't.
532
00:27:46,493 --> 00:27:49,018
Excuse me. Out of my way. Thank you.
533
00:27:51,598 --> 00:27:53,964
-Oh, Jesus. Here.
-Great.
534
00:27:58,906 --> 00:27:59,873
TIPPER: Smile for the camera.
535
00:27:59,973 --> 00:28:02,464
Hi, hubby, it's me. Open up.
536
00:28:02,576 --> 00:28:03,736
Hiya !
537
00:28:04,211 --> 00:28:05,200
JACK,: It's all the way at the top,
538
00:28:05,979 --> 00:28:06,946
She's here.
539
00:28:07,114 --> 00:28:08,103
(DOOR BUZZING)
540
00:28:08,215 --> 00:28:09,307
Okay, don't overdo it, though.
541
00:28:12,352 --> 00:28:16,413
Hey! Look what I brought my new hubby!
542
00:28:16,523 --> 00:28:19,788
'Cause I want to please him,
and men, they like the beer.
543
00:28:19,893 --> 00:28:24,159
Hey, look who's being a good wifey,
really trying to make her marriage work.
544
00:28:24,264 --> 00:28:26,289
Oh, muffin pants, what a wonderful gift.
545
00:28:26,400 --> 00:28:29,961
I'm going to buy you a big box of Tampax
just so I can thank you,
546
00:28:30,070 --> 00:28:32,595
'cause that's what good husbands do.
547
00:28:37,978 --> 00:28:39,673
Sorry, I can't control myself
when I'm around you,
548
00:28:39,780 --> 00:28:41,839
I just love you so much!
549
00:28:41,949 --> 00:28:43,041
Not as much as I love you!
550
00:28:43,150 --> 00:28:44,481
(JACK SQUEALING)
551
00:28:46,086 --> 00:28:47,951
Shall we, Mrs. Fuller?
552
00:28:48,922 --> 00:28:50,685
Oh. Here. Let me get this.
553
00:28:50,791 --> 00:28:52,224
-Let me get that. Oh.
-Wait a sec.
554
00:28:53,794 --> 00:28:55,523
Slippery. Slippery.
555
00:29:00,100 --> 00:29:01,067
What?
556
00:29:01,535 --> 00:29:02,502
(GRUNTING)
557
00:29:03,437 --> 00:29:04,495
(JOY SCREAMS )
558
00:29:05,005 --> 00:29:07,599
Sorry, baby,
just you're a little on the heavy side.
559
00:29:07,708 --> 00:29:09,699
Welcome home, sweetheart.
560
00:29:11,611 --> 00:29:14,136
You literally have a bar
in the middle of your living room.
561
00:29:14,247 --> 00:29:15,544
It's not so bad.
562
00:29:15,649 --> 00:29:18,584
I mean, I would never live here, ever, but...
563
00:29:18,685 --> 00:29:21,483
What? I ran
the New York City Marathon, okay?
564
00:29:21,588 --> 00:29:24,250
I can do this. I can totally do this.
565
00:29:25,225 --> 00:29:26,192
(GASPS )
566
00:29:27,194 --> 00:29:28,491
JOY: Oh, my God.
567
00:29:29,296 --> 00:29:30,854
I can't do this!
568
00:29:30,964 --> 00:29:32,454
Don't throw any of that hair away, okay?
569
00:29:32,566 --> 00:29:34,966
I'm saving it up
to make you something special,
570
00:29:35,068 --> 00:29:37,559
like a hat or a sweater.
571
00:29:37,671 --> 00:29:39,662
I still haven't decided yet.
572
00:29:40,240 --> 00:29:41,935
Do you train monkeys in here?
573
00:29:42,376 --> 00:29:46,403
Seriously! It's one thing if you like a guy,
you put up with disgusting stuff like this,
574
00:29:46,513 --> 00:29:49,880
but you I don't care for, so clean it up.
575
00:29:49,983 --> 00:29:53,475
I'm not here under court order,
so I'm going to take off.
576
00:29:53,587 --> 00:29:55,077
-Later, buddy.
-Bye.
577
00:29:56,056 --> 00:29:57,353
$1.5 million.
578
00:29:58,258 --> 00:30:01,625
Here. These are antibacterial. Get to work.
579
00:30:10,037 --> 00:30:12,232
That looks like it's gonna be
comfortable for you.
580
00:30:12,339 --> 00:30:14,102
Where's the bedroom?
581
00:30:15,175 --> 00:30:19,111
-Uh... It's in there.
-Sweet dreams.
582
00:30:19,212 --> 00:30:20,304
Yeah.
583
00:30:22,949 --> 00:30:24,416
What is this?
584
00:30:25,185 --> 00:30:26,243
(SCREAMS )
585
00:30:28,221 --> 00:30:30,849
Ooh. That was close.
586
00:30:33,093 --> 00:30:35,425
-That stinks.
-Just a little bit of me.
587
00:30:35,529 --> 00:30:38,862
-Oh, God!
-And some other people. Whatever.
588
00:30:47,941 --> 00:30:48,908
(EX CLAIMS )
589
00:30:59,252 --> 00:31:02,221
-Do you need some help?
-Yeah, I do, as a matter of fact.
590
00:31:02,322 --> 00:31:04,153
You should probably call somebody.
591
00:31:04,257 --> 00:31:05,246
What?
592
00:31:05,358 --> 00:31:07,918
-To help you.
-Okay, can I sleep on the couch?
593
00:31:08,028 --> 00:31:09,052
No.
594
00:31:21,708 --> 00:31:22,675
(BLENDER WHIRRING)
595
00:31:22,776 --> 00:31:23,743
(EX CLAIMS )
596
00:31:26,179 --> 00:31:27,669
Smoothies!
597
00:31:31,485 --> 00:31:32,782
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
598
00:31:33,153 --> 00:31:34,711
-Hon?
-Yeah.
599
00:31:34,821 --> 00:31:36,345
If I could just get in there for a sec.
600
00:31:36,590 --> 00:31:37,887
I'm almost done. I'll be right out.
601
00:31:37,991 --> 00:31:39,720
No, no. "Be right out"
is not really gonna work.
602
00:31:39,826 --> 00:31:41,691
Like, be right out right now.
603
00:31:42,562 --> 00:31:43,824
I'm almost done!
604
00:31:44,498 --> 00:31:45,465
(GROANING)
605
00:31:48,168 --> 00:31:49,999
(METALLIC CLATTER)
606
00:31:54,875 --> 00:31:56,035
Okay...
607
00:31:56,209 --> 00:31:57,176
(JACK EXHALING)
608
00:31:58,778 --> 00:32:01,144
Oh, yeah, this is happening.
609
00:32:01,915 --> 00:32:03,974
You only have yourself to blame.
610
00:32:04,084 --> 00:32:06,609
By the way, it's your day on dishes.
611
00:32:12,726 --> 00:32:14,751
(TOILET FLUSHING)
612
00:32:16,463 --> 00:32:17,725
(EX CLAIMS )
613
00:32:18,298 --> 00:32:19,287
JOY: Freak.
614
00:32:19,399 --> 00:32:20,661
Where do you get your underwear?
The hospital?
615
00:32:20,767 --> 00:32:23,463
-What?
-Seriously, what's up with the P.E. bra?
616
00:32:23,570 --> 00:32:27,336
Well, it's comfy and supportive,
like a man should be.
617
00:32:27,440 --> 00:32:31,536
You women. In the beginning it's all, like,
laces and rainbows and trapdoors.
618
00:32:31,645 --> 00:32:35,240
As soon as you get married, it's nothing
but these flesh tones and PMS pants.
619
00:32:35,348 --> 00:32:36,815
You might as well wear a placard
around your neck
620
00:32:36,917 --> 00:32:39,249
-that says, "We're not having sex, ever."
-Ever!
621
00:32:39,352 --> 00:32:40,444
-Ever.
-Ever!
622
00:32:40,554 --> 00:32:43,250
What happened to the purple bra
from Vegas? That was nice.
623
00:32:43,356 --> 00:32:46,587
I'm going to save that
for my non-retarded husband.
624
00:32:46,993 --> 00:32:47,960
(MOCKING)
625
00:32:48,328 --> 00:32:51,229
Well, the grownups have to go
to work today.
626
00:32:51,998 --> 00:32:54,990
-What are you going to do all day?
-I don't know yet.
627
00:32:55,101 --> 00:32:58,593
I'd rather do nothing and be happy
than do something I know I don't love.
628
00:32:58,705 --> 00:33:00,502
Words to live by, Yanni.
629
00:33:00,607 --> 00:33:02,575
Beat it, worker drone.
Tell the man I say hi.
630
00:33:02,676 --> 00:33:05,645
-Whatever, loser.
-Hey, don't get hit by a bus.
631
00:33:05,745 --> 00:33:07,144
Or do. Whatever.
632
00:33:07,247 --> 00:33:08,214
(YOU SEXY THING PLAYING)
633
00:33:08,315 --> 00:33:10,340
I believe in miracles
634
00:33:10,984 --> 00:33:14,351
Where you from,
you sexy thing
635
00:33:16,122 --> 00:33:17,851
I believe in miracles
636
00:33:17,958 --> 00:33:19,789
(ALL SHOUTING)
637
00:33:19,893 --> 00:33:23,590
Since you came along,
you sexy thing
638
00:33:24,931 --> 00:33:26,831
(EX CLAIMING)
639
00:33:32,205 --> 00:33:33,604
(TELEPHONE RINGING)
640
00:33:36,343 --> 00:33:37,867
-McNally.
-MAN,: What are you wearing, baby?
641
00:33:37,978 --> 00:33:39,946
-Who is this?
-BANGER,: Your boss,
642
00:33:41,114 --> 00:33:42,638
Get the Chonger
and get up here right away.
643
00:33:42,749 --> 00:33:45,877
Coming right up! Okay.
Banger needs to see us upstairs.
644
00:33:45,986 --> 00:33:49,581
After 15 years of loyal service,
we're dumping Bob whatshisname,
645
00:33:49,689 --> 00:33:52,681
which means that this office
is gonna be up for grabs.
646
00:33:52,792 --> 00:33:54,953
So, I'm going to promote one of you skirts
out of the pit.
647
00:33:55,061 --> 00:33:57,962
And that's not sexual harassment.
Believe me, I've checked.
648
00:33:58,064 --> 00:34:00,430
You're my top guns, girls. Do me proud.
649
00:34:00,533 --> 00:34:02,023
Thank you, sir.
650
00:34:03,303 --> 00:34:05,794
So! I guess I'll be Maverick
and you can be Goose.
651
00:34:05,905 --> 00:34:08,965
Be whoever you want to be,
you'll still gonna be my subordinate.
652
00:34:09,075 --> 00:34:11,805
-Excuse me?
-It's from the Latin, meaning "my bitch."
653
00:34:11,911 --> 00:34:13,845
-What is wrong with you?
-I eat girls like you.
654
00:34:13,947 --> 00:34:15,972
-Oh, you eat girls!
-Not like that.
655
00:34:16,082 --> 00:34:17,071
-Makes total sense.
-It shouldn't.
656
00:34:17,183 --> 00:34:18,514
-No judgments.
-But I'm not...
657
00:34:18,618 --> 00:34:19,710
Just saying.
658
00:34:27,193 --> 00:34:28,353
Ready to do this?
659
00:34:28,461 --> 00:34:32,261
Pretend like you don't make me vomit
in my nose every time I look at you?
660
00:34:33,099 --> 00:34:34,225
Yes.
661
00:34:35,468 --> 00:34:39,370
So, Jack, tell me about yourself.
What are your hobbies?
662
00:34:40,373 --> 00:34:41,704
Hobbies.
663
00:34:42,542 --> 00:34:44,737
You mean, besides my marriage?
664
00:34:46,413 --> 00:34:47,641
My hobbies.
665
00:34:47,747 --> 00:34:49,840
Mostly, I just like loving her.
666
00:34:49,949 --> 00:34:51,746
It's just so easy.
667
00:34:54,287 --> 00:34:55,618
What else?
668
00:34:56,256 --> 00:35:01,785
Listening. I love listening
to what she has to say. It's just...
669
00:35:01,895 --> 00:35:05,228
In fact, actually,
I carry this notebook around with me,
670
00:35:05,332 --> 00:35:09,234
just so I can write it down,
because usually it's so important.
671
00:35:09,903 --> 00:35:14,067
What else?
I think just being there for her, in general.
672
00:35:15,608 --> 00:35:17,701
Loving her until it hurts.
673
00:35:18,578 --> 00:35:19,840
It hurts.
674
00:35:20,480 --> 00:35:24,246
That's... I don't know,
that's probably most of my interests.
675
00:35:26,986 --> 00:35:28,385
Joy?
676
00:35:28,488 --> 00:35:30,080
I'd have to agree.
677
00:35:30,190 --> 00:35:32,658
And I'd have to add, you know,
678
00:35:33,727 --> 00:35:35,126
staring at him.
679
00:35:35,228 --> 00:35:39,597
Yeah. I mean, I just love watching him be.
680
00:35:39,699 --> 00:35:40,996
I love everything about him.
681
00:35:41,101 --> 00:35:43,467
Most people would be repulsed,
682
00:35:43,570 --> 00:35:46,630
you know, to find his socks
and his dirty underwear
683
00:35:46,740 --> 00:35:49,504
sort of down shoved
in the bottom of the bed,
684
00:35:49,609 --> 00:35:51,236
touching them in the middle of the night.
685
00:35:51,344 --> 00:35:53,642
They might want to try
to, like, scrub and scrub and scrub
686
00:35:53,747 --> 00:35:57,683
and try to get the stains
and the scent off of them, but...
687
00:35:58,885 --> 00:36:02,651
Not me. I just... I love it!
688
00:36:02,789 --> 00:36:06,748
I just...
I kind of want to just roll around in it!
689
00:36:09,629 --> 00:36:11,620
Her candles smell awesome!
690
00:36:14,200 --> 00:36:16,566
You know, I do have a few degrees,
691
00:36:16,669 --> 00:36:20,264
and I went to a bunch
of really expensive schools.
692
00:36:20,373 --> 00:36:24,104
Anyway, I'm not buying any of the bullshit
you two are selling today.
693
00:36:24,210 --> 00:36:26,770
Now, if you want me to report back
to the court
694
00:36:26,880 --> 00:36:28,643
that you're both working
on your marriage,
695
00:36:28,748 --> 00:36:31,376
you're gonna actually have to do that.
696
00:36:31,484 --> 00:36:32,974
(LOVEPLAYING)
697
00:36:34,921 --> 00:36:41,759
And love
Such a silly game we play, oh!
698
00:36:41,861 --> 00:36:46,355
Like a summer's day in May
What is love, what is love?
699
00:36:46,466 --> 00:36:50,994
I just want it to be love
Oh! Oh! Oh!
700
00:36:52,439 --> 00:36:58,969
I, I, I, I, I
I can feel it in your kiss
701
00:36:59,479 --> 00:37:03,779
It just gives me tender bliss
What is love, what is love?
702
00:37:03,883 --> 00:37:06,113
I just want it to be love
703
00:37:06,219 --> 00:37:09,746
Yes, that is the topping I wanted
on my popcorn.
704
00:37:09,856 --> 00:37:11,619
I know that the box said
"movie theater butter,"
705
00:37:11,724 --> 00:37:13,521
but, you guessed it,
706
00:37:13,626 --> 00:37:17,221
what I really wanted
was Jack's Sweaty Ballsack flavor.
707
00:37:17,330 --> 00:37:18,490
Thanks.
708
00:37:18,598 --> 00:37:21,999
Uh! Uh! Uh! Love
709
00:37:22,802 --> 00:37:27,569
Who can tell me I am lost?
What is love, what is love?
710
00:37:27,674 --> 00:37:30,438
I'm just giving you
what you wanted, baby.
711
00:37:32,745 --> 00:37:37,682
Pay attention.
See how it goes up and down. Okay?
712
00:37:37,784 --> 00:37:39,149
It goes up,
713
00:37:39,719 --> 00:37:42,415
and then it goes down. Like that.
714
00:37:42,522 --> 00:37:44,717
See that? Isn't that magical? Amazing.
715
00:37:44,824 --> 00:37:47,054
Watch one more time. One more time.
716
00:37:47,160 --> 00:37:51,790
It goes up, right? And then it goes down.
717
00:37:51,898 --> 00:37:53,456
(SPEAKING SPANISH)
718
00:38:06,346 --> 00:38:07,335
(JOY SCREAMING)
719
00:38:07,447 --> 00:38:08,414
(SPLASHES )
720
00:38:08,848 --> 00:38:09,815
(JOY SCREAMING)
721
00:38:11,017 --> 00:38:13,815
JOY: No, no, no, no! Why?
722
00:38:15,722 --> 00:38:19,385
I really, really need to get in there!
723
00:38:19,492 --> 00:38:22,427
Why don't you just use
your special bathroom?
724
00:38:22,662 --> 00:38:23,959
There's no heavy side!
725
00:38:24,063 --> 00:38:26,258
-You got the window!
-No, that's actually the light side.
726
00:38:39,512 --> 00:38:41,912
-Where's the bathroom door?
-We got robbed.
727
00:38:42,048 --> 00:38:44,312
And all they took was the door.
728
00:38:46,686 --> 00:38:48,415
$1.5 million.
729
00:38:50,056 --> 00:38:52,547
Marriage is hard!
730
00:38:52,659 --> 00:38:55,355
I don't know how people do this.
It's unnatural.
731
00:38:55,461 --> 00:38:58,123
Men and women are not meant to coexist.
732
00:38:59,599 --> 00:39:02,591
And I haven't had sex in forever.
I mean, forever!
733
00:39:02,702 --> 00:39:04,693
And I need to have sex,
'cause I'm good at it!
734
00:39:04,804 --> 00:39:06,931
That's a self-esteem booster for me.
735
00:39:07,040 --> 00:39:10,009
-I don't know if I can do this, man.
-Oh, really?
736
00:39:10,109 --> 00:39:12,873
'Cause I haven't been sensing that at all.
737
00:39:12,979 --> 00:39:14,378
That's why I did a little research.
738
00:39:14,480 --> 00:39:16,038
I've been looking through some case law,
739
00:39:16,149 --> 00:39:18,083
you know, some precedent
to help us get around the ruling.
740
00:39:18,184 --> 00:39:21,153
And I think I found one. Lafferty v, Holden,
741
00:39:22,021 --> 00:39:24,922
You know, Tip,
I don't know if I can do this.
742
00:39:25,658 --> 00:39:26,852
Then we go to plan B.
743
00:39:26,960 --> 00:39:29,053
Mother's third marriage
was to this 20-year-old
744
00:39:29,162 --> 00:39:31,960
club-footed Cuban bartender
who came into a ton of money.
745
00:39:32,365 --> 00:39:34,128
The court said
that if they both wanted the money,
746
00:39:34,233 --> 00:39:36,997
they had to remain married and prove
they can make it work. Sound familiar?
747
00:39:37,103 --> 00:39:39,071
Mother wasn't going to see a cent of that,
748
00:39:39,172 --> 00:39:41,402
but then she proved
that he'd been unfaithful,
749
00:39:41,507 --> 00:39:43,532
and the judge ruled in her favor.
750
00:39:43,643 --> 00:39:43,743
And gave her all the money.
751
00:39:43,743 --> 00:39:45,677
And gave her all the money.
752
00:39:46,679 --> 00:39:49,614
See, the judge said that you had to prove
753
00:39:49,716 --> 00:39:51,377
that you were trying
to make the marriage work.
754
00:39:51,484 --> 00:39:53,884
But if we can make it seem like she isn't...
755
00:39:53,987 --> 00:39:55,682
I don't know
why I haven't thought of this before!
756
00:39:55,788 --> 00:39:57,517
-Because you're not a very good lawyer.
-Oh, my God.
757
00:39:57,624 --> 00:40:00,457
There should be a law
against how bad a lawyer I am.
758
00:40:00,560 --> 00:40:01,549
But then again, I wouldn't know about it!
759
00:40:01,661 --> 00:40:04,528
So if I can get Jack to end the marriage
by either leaving me
760
00:40:04,631 --> 00:40:06,963
or cheating on me...
761
00:40:07,066 --> 00:40:08,556
Not only would you get out
of the marriage...
762
00:40:08,668 --> 00:40:12,104
-You will also get the full $3 million.
-Oh, my God.
763
00:40:12,605 --> 00:40:15,267
-I love you! I want to kiss you.
-You want to kiss me?
764
00:40:15,375 --> 00:40:17,468
On your big, beautiful,
prematurely balding man dome.
765
00:40:17,577 --> 00:40:18,771
All right! All right. Okay.
766
00:40:19,212 --> 00:40:21,237
-Game on, sister!
-Game on!
767
00:40:21,514 --> 00:40:23,175
-Game on.
-Game on.
768
00:40:24,384 --> 00:40:26,784
Destroy it. Oh, my God. Oh, Jesus!
769
00:40:26,886 --> 00:40:28,444
(I WANTA NEWDRUG PLAYING)
770
00:40:45,405 --> 00:40:47,566
There are some refinery problems
in the South,
771
00:40:47,674 --> 00:40:50,370
-so let's keep our eye on crude oil.
-Oh, that's too bad.
772
00:40:50,476 --> 00:40:51,738
And I just heard a rumor
773
00:40:51,844 --> 00:40:54,904
that the platinum futures
are gonna be very active today.
774
00:40:55,014 --> 00:40:56,038
Yes!
775
00:40:57,150 --> 00:40:58,208
Yeah!
776
00:40:58,484 --> 00:40:59,451
(EX CLAIMS )
777
00:40:59,585 --> 00:41:02,418
I mean, really, let's do this mother!
Oh, my God.
778
00:41:02,522 --> 00:41:05,821
Right, guys? I mean, let's buy shit!
Let's buy shit!
779
00:41:07,093 --> 00:41:09,027
Do you see that? Do you see that, people?
780
00:41:09,128 --> 00:41:12,393
That's exactly the kind of spirit
I'm talking about!
781
00:41:12,498 --> 00:41:14,227
-You go, girl!
-Yes!
782
00:41:14,467 --> 00:41:15,934
(CHONG AND JOY EX CLAIM)
783
00:41:16,035 --> 00:41:18,560
Oh, my God, seriously, you guys!
784
00:41:23,676 --> 00:41:26,270
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
What are we doing? What are we doing?
785
00:41:29,182 --> 00:41:30,979
What's happening? What's happening?
Oh, my God.
786
00:41:36,422 --> 00:41:38,720
Son of a bitch. Son of a bitch!
787
00:41:47,533 --> 00:41:48,898
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
788
00:41:51,270 --> 00:41:52,259
-Hi.
-Hi.
789
00:41:52,371 --> 00:41:54,396
We got locked out of our apartment.
790
00:41:54,507 --> 00:41:57,840
Would you mind if we just waited in here
until the locksmith comes?
791
00:41:57,944 --> 00:42:00,504
He said it would only be a few hours.
792
00:42:01,781 --> 00:42:03,009
A few...
793
00:42:03,816 --> 00:42:04,942
Sure.
794
00:42:05,051 --> 00:42:06,143
-Thank you!
-Great!
795
00:42:06,252 --> 00:42:09,187
Also, we were supposed to have
some friends over tonight.
796
00:42:09,288 --> 00:42:11,984
Do you mind if they waited in here, too?
797
00:42:12,959 --> 00:42:15,450
I'll jump on that grenade, too, I suppose.
798
00:42:15,561 --> 00:42:16,960
-Thank you.
-Yeah.
799
00:42:17,063 --> 00:42:20,032
-Thank you so much.
-No, thank you. Thank you.
800
00:42:20,900 --> 00:42:22,959
Welcome to my humble abode.
801
00:42:23,770 --> 00:42:24,896
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
802
00:42:25,304 --> 00:42:27,534
Those are probably my friends.
803
00:42:30,343 --> 00:42:31,833
-Hi.
-Hi.
804
00:42:31,944 --> 00:42:33,536
We're the friends.
805
00:42:33,946 --> 00:42:36,380
-You look like the friends. You do.
-Hi.
806
00:42:36,482 --> 00:42:37,574
(CELL PHONE RINGS )
807
00:42:38,117 --> 00:42:40,244
-Hey.
-There is a hot girl party going on
808
00:42:40,353 --> 00:42:42,583
-in my living room.
-What are you talking about?
809
00:42:42,688 --> 00:42:46,283
I'm talking about the fact that there are
a buttload of beautiful women...
810
00:42:46,392 --> 00:42:49,759
Oh, my God. Okay, there's a pillow fight
about to break out.
811
00:42:49,862 --> 00:42:51,659
Oh, my God. Dude, it's a trap.
812
00:42:53,332 --> 00:42:55,596
No, it's not! No! This happens!
813
00:42:55,701 --> 00:42:57,225
No! It doesn't happen!
814
00:42:57,570 --> 00:42:59,970
HA TER,: Get out of the house!
Get out of the house right now!
815
00:43:00,072 --> 00:43:01,505
She must have figured out
the same thing we did.
816
00:43:02,141 --> 00:43:04,075
Okay, just because Joy sets a trap
817
00:43:04,177 --> 00:43:05,474
doesn't mean we can't play at
the same game.
818
00:43:05,578 --> 00:43:07,671
You call Bear, you call every guy we know,
819
00:43:07,780 --> 00:43:09,441
And get some boring stockbroker
kind of guys,
820
00:43:09,549 --> 00:43:10,914
the kind of guys
you and me would beat up.
821
00:43:11,050 --> 00:43:12,210
The more boring, the better.
822
00:43:12,318 --> 00:43:14,377
She has no idea
what she's gotten herself into.
823
00:43:14,487 --> 00:43:15,977
(HIPHOPMUSIC PLA YING ON STEREO)
824
00:43:20,226 --> 00:43:21,454
JOY: You okay?
825
00:43:27,166 --> 00:43:29,862
In here, guys. Yo, Jack, what up?
826
00:43:37,610 --> 00:43:40,238
This chick's the reason
we're not spending our money right now.
827
00:43:40,346 --> 00:43:43,679
This chick is the reason
I'm not having a six-way right now!
828
00:43:44,150 --> 00:43:45,708
-Hey.
-Hey.
829
00:43:45,818 --> 00:43:49,219
So, look. This isn't working.
I think we need to call in some sluts.
830
00:43:49,322 --> 00:43:51,688
-Sluts? I know sluts.
-Make the call.
831
00:43:51,791 --> 00:43:55,090
Which one of these ugly losers
is ruining your life?
832
00:43:56,262 --> 00:43:58,753
That one. The pink parade over there.
833
00:43:59,131 --> 00:44:00,928
That's your wife?
834
00:44:01,701 --> 00:44:04,966
Oh, my God, she is so f-ing hot!
835
00:44:07,139 --> 00:44:09,004
What is wrong with you?
836
00:44:11,377 --> 00:44:13,675
Pick a team. Pick a team.
Pick a team ! Right now! Pick a team.
837
00:44:13,779 --> 00:44:15,246
-Come on.
-Hers. Hers! Hers!
838
00:44:15,348 --> 00:44:19,808
Listen up, girls. Do whatever you need
to do to get into his pants.
839
00:44:19,952 --> 00:44:21,852
Ignore her.
Don't even make eye contact with her.
840
00:44:21,954 --> 00:44:24,684
Look at every girl in here except for her.
It'll drive her crazy.
841
00:44:24,790 --> 00:44:26,382
Get him drunk. It'll slip right out.
842
00:44:26,492 --> 00:44:27,516
ALL: Go!
843
00:44:35,434 --> 00:44:36,423
Hi.
844
00:44:42,942 --> 00:44:44,375
Oh, I get it.
845
00:44:44,944 --> 00:44:47,469
I get what you guys are doing. Okay.
846
00:44:48,147 --> 00:44:50,945
Well, I'm going to...
Thank you. Sorry. Excuse me.
847
00:44:51,050 --> 00:44:52,449
Oh, God!
848
00:44:53,419 --> 00:44:58,447
If you need anybody to talk to,
you know, just let me know.
849
00:45:02,461 --> 00:45:04,793
-Thanks.
-Get out of here. Get out of here.
850
00:45:04,897 --> 00:45:07,263
Get out of here!
Get out of here, both of you!
851
00:45:07,366 --> 00:45:08,333
I'll give her the money!
852
00:45:08,434 --> 00:45:09,867
-I'll give her the money!
-No, no, no, no, no.
853
00:45:09,969 --> 00:45:10,936
(BANGING ON DOOR)
854
00:45:11,070 --> 00:45:12,094
Oh, shit.
855
00:45:12,204 --> 00:45:13,728
I'm here about a noise complaint!
856
00:45:13,839 --> 00:45:15,534
(BOTTLE CLATTERING)
857
00:45:15,641 --> 00:45:19,543
Someone called to complain
that you're not making enough noise!
858
00:45:19,645 --> 00:45:21,272
(ALL CHEERING)
859
00:45:24,917 --> 00:45:28,785
-This is the best party ever!
-This is the greatest party ever!
860
00:45:35,494 --> 00:45:38,554
I'm arrested! You guys, I'm arrested!
861
00:45:42,134 --> 00:45:43,123
Hey.
862
00:45:43,235 --> 00:45:46,227
Sorry. I was just trying to find some quiet
863
00:45:46,339 --> 00:45:49,866
-from the craziness out there.
-Yeah. Yeah, I'm... Beer?
864
00:45:52,278 --> 00:45:53,336
Sure.
865
00:45:57,116 --> 00:45:59,516
Do you really think that I'm dumb enough
to cheat on you?
866
00:45:59,618 --> 00:46:01,051
I think it's only a matter of time,
867
00:46:01,153 --> 00:46:03,246
and, yeah, I think you're more
than dumb enough.
868
00:46:03,356 --> 00:46:05,221
Thank you for the vote of confidence.
869
00:46:05,324 --> 00:46:06,757
I appreciate that.
870
00:46:06,859 --> 00:46:09,726
This must be so hard for you.
871
00:46:12,198 --> 00:46:14,462
-What?
-Being in a relationship.
872
00:46:16,402 --> 00:46:19,633
Okay. I've been in relationships before,
all right?
873
00:46:19,939 --> 00:46:21,531
Oh, come on, Jack.
874
00:46:21,640 --> 00:46:24,302
I know you.
Don't forget, I have been living with you.
875
00:46:24,410 --> 00:46:28,744
You're not exactly serious
boyfriend/husband material, okay?
876
00:46:30,883 --> 00:46:33,545
-Well, this must be hard for you, too.
-Really?
877
00:46:33,652 --> 00:46:37,884
Yeah, being married to me when
you're so clearly in love with your ex.
878
00:46:41,894 --> 00:46:43,327
-I'm not in love with him.
-Right.
879
00:46:43,429 --> 00:46:44,896
Then why are you still wearing the ring
on your finger?
880
00:46:44,997 --> 00:46:47,227
Because my current husband
bought me one
881
00:46:47,333 --> 00:46:49,460
out of a vending machine in Vegas.
882
00:46:49,568 --> 00:46:52,469
All I know is, if I get dumped on my ass,
883
00:46:52,571 --> 00:46:54,801
I'm not wearing the ring
unless I'm still in love with him.
884
00:46:54,907 --> 00:46:56,932
-I'm not in love with him, okay?
-Okay! Right.
885
00:46:57,043 --> 00:46:58,908
In fact, I'm happy
I'm not with him anymore.
886
00:46:59,011 --> 00:47:00,535
I spent the last four years of my life
887
00:47:00,646 --> 00:47:03,114
trying to be
somebody else's idea of perfect,
888
00:47:03,215 --> 00:47:06,810
and you know what?
I still don't feel good enough for him.
889
00:47:11,457 --> 00:47:12,446
(CHUCKLES )
890
00:47:12,558 --> 00:47:15,994
Okay, that's not what I meant, okay?
I just...
891
00:47:16,095 --> 00:47:19,360
Hey! Don't worry!
Your secret's safe with me.
892
00:47:19,465 --> 00:47:21,296
Oh, you're such an ass.
893
00:47:21,400 --> 00:47:22,833
You know what? It's irrelevant now,
894
00:47:22,935 --> 00:47:25,870
because I don't care
if I ever see him again.
895
00:47:31,610 --> 00:47:33,544
Wow. Thank you, baby.
896
00:47:33,646 --> 00:47:37,047
-That makes me feel so, so, so special.
-You know what? It has nothing
897
00:47:37,149 --> 00:47:39,208
-to do with you, Jack.
-By the way, don't worry about me,
898
00:47:39,318 --> 00:47:40,546
-because I'm a married man.
-Yeah.
899
00:47:40,653 --> 00:47:43,144
We don't need to have sex.
And I'll tell you another thing.
900
00:47:43,255 --> 00:47:46,520
I'm not going anywhere,
'cause I am not screwing this thing up.
901
00:47:46,625 --> 00:47:49,890
Neither am I,
'cause I am in it for the long haul, Jack.
902
00:47:49,995 --> 00:47:53,328
-Till death do us part.
-Not unless I kill you first.
903
00:48:04,510 --> 00:48:06,842
-It's like she's always there!
-He doesn't do anything all day, okay?
904
00:48:06,979 --> 00:48:09,038
-Left, right, up, down!
-It's like he's not even a grownup, okay?
905
00:48:09,148 --> 00:48:10,740
-I don't have an ounce of space...
-He does nothing...
906
00:48:10,850 --> 00:48:12,442
-...for just me! Just me!
-...all day long!
907
00:48:12,551 --> 00:48:15,076
-And I swear to God...
-I think he's trying to drive me crazy!
908
00:48:15,187 --> 00:48:16,984
-The other night, we had this party...
-He peed in the sink!
909
00:48:17,089 --> 00:48:19,649
-...and everywhere I look...
-I mean, what kind of man animal...
910
00:48:19,758 --> 00:48:21,623
-...it's just hot tit and ass everywhere!
-...pees in the sink?
911
00:48:21,727 --> 00:48:23,957
-It's like he doesn't even want...
-It's like she doesn't even want...
912
00:48:24,063 --> 00:48:26,156
-...this marriage to work!
-...this marriage to work!
913
00:48:27,399 --> 00:48:30,425
All right. You're arguing.
914
00:48:30,536 --> 00:48:33,767
Now that felt like a real married couple.
915
00:48:33,873 --> 00:48:35,773
You're making progress.
916
00:48:40,679 --> 00:48:42,476
What am I doing here?
917
00:48:52,691 --> 00:48:55,387
Oh, we could kidnap her
until after the hearing.
918
00:48:55,494 --> 00:48:58,088
-She could stay at my place.
-HATER: Oh, my God, I got it!
919
00:48:58,197 --> 00:49:00,757
We make it look
like she gave you some kind of disease!
920
00:49:00,866 --> 00:49:03,232
I can have a vial of crabs here
in 30 minutes.
921
00:49:03,335 --> 00:49:04,495
First, we give them to you,
922
00:49:04,603 --> 00:49:06,628
and then, you know,
we get somebody to give them to her
923
00:49:06,739 --> 00:49:09,367
so it looks like she gave them to you.
924
00:49:10,943 --> 00:49:12,934
You really hadn't thought
that one through, had you?
925
00:49:13,045 --> 00:49:15,036
I'll give her the crabs, easily.
926
00:49:15,147 --> 00:49:17,843
-No more ideas from you.
-Oh, I've got it! It's perfect!
927
00:49:17,950 --> 00:49:19,417
This is great!
928
00:49:20,653 --> 00:49:21,642
Like that!
929
00:49:21,754 --> 00:49:22,982
-What are you doing?
-What?
930
00:49:23,088 --> 00:49:25,682
No, no, no, no, no, no.
Relax, relax, relax. Relax!
931
00:49:25,791 --> 00:49:27,850
Stay with me on this one.
932
00:49:28,561 --> 00:49:29,528
Huh?
933
00:49:30,362 --> 00:49:33,991
God damn it! No, you don't get it!
Dude, you don't get it!
934
00:49:38,370 --> 00:49:39,337
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
935
00:49:51,250 --> 00:49:53,616
Jack, what happened to your face?
936
00:49:54,386 --> 00:49:56,513
-I fell.
-You fell?
937
00:49:57,523 --> 00:49:58,615
Yeah.
938
00:50:00,426 --> 00:50:02,485
I hit my head on a doorknob.
939
00:50:03,162 --> 00:50:04,629
A few times.
940
00:50:04,763 --> 00:50:06,754
I fall a lot these days. I'm just...
941
00:50:06,865 --> 00:50:08,423
I'm so clumsy.
942
00:50:08,534 --> 00:50:11,560
Jack, are you sure
that's what happened to you?
943
00:50:11,670 --> 00:50:14,400
Sure someone else didn't do this to you?
944
00:50:17,009 --> 00:50:18,476
I deserve it.
945
00:50:19,345 --> 00:50:20,835
I'm supposed...
946
00:50:22,114 --> 00:50:25,083
I'm supposed to line up the hand towels
just so, and I didn't...
947
00:50:25,184 --> 00:50:28,017
I didn't do it. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
948
00:50:28,120 --> 00:50:30,315
Then she said,
"You put that toilet seat down,
949
00:50:30,422 --> 00:50:31,980
"or I will put you down! "
950
00:50:36,929 --> 00:50:39,955
"I'll stick your head in there
and I will make it stay! " Oh, God!
951
00:50:40,099 --> 00:50:41,396
-,,,look real, but don't, like,,,
-All right,
952
00:50:41,500 --> 00:50:43,400
-Oh, God!
-What?
953
00:50:44,003 --> 00:50:46,471
He's gotta make it look real
so it seems like she was beating you!
954
00:50:46,572 --> 00:50:48,039
Not that real!
955
00:50:48,140 --> 00:50:49,573
(GRUNTING)
956
00:50:49,675 --> 00:50:51,836
-Yeah!
-That sucker's gonna show, dude!
957
00:50:51,944 --> 00:50:53,275
Hey, come on, Come on,
958
00:50:53,379 --> 00:50:55,006
Can we get back to therapy now?
959
00:50:58,217 --> 00:50:59,275
Yes.
960
00:51:00,219 --> 00:51:01,584
Yes, we can.
961
00:51:08,427 --> 00:51:09,917
(TELEPHONE RINGING)
962
00:51:12,931 --> 00:51:14,421
JACK ON ANSWERING MACHINE,:
Hi, you've reached the happy couple,
963
00:51:14,533 --> 00:51:16,364
JOY ON ANSWERING MACHINE,:
We can't come to the phone right now
964
00:51:16,468 --> 00:51:17,765
because we're busy loving each other,
965
00:51:17,870 --> 00:51:19,428
JACK,: And making our marriage work,
966
00:51:19,538 --> 00:51:21,267
JACK,: Leave a message!
JOY,: Leave a message!
967
00:51:21,373 --> 00:51:22,567
(ON ANSWERING MACHINE)
Hi, This is Annette calling
968
00:51:22,675 --> 00:51:24,700
from Dr, Twitchell's office,
969
00:51:24,810 --> 00:51:26,141
Hello.
970
00:51:26,245 --> 00:51:28,213
-Yes, Mrs, Fuller?
-Yes.
971
00:51:28,547 --> 00:51:30,447
The doctor needed
to cancel today's session,
972
00:51:30,549 --> 00:51:32,517
and she was wondering
if you could do Friday?
973
00:51:32,618 --> 00:51:35,018
Do you have anything
after 3:00 p.m., possibly?
974
00:51:35,120 --> 00:51:38,521
-The doctor can do 4,:00,
-Oh, perfect.
975
00:51:38,624 --> 00:51:40,251
-That works for me.
-We'll see you then,
976
00:51:40,359 --> 00:51:42,953
-Great, see you then.
-Thanks so much,
977
00:51:43,595 --> 00:51:46,564
-She totally bought it.
-Beautiful. Beautiful.
978
00:51:47,499 --> 00:51:49,399
-Beautiful.
-You owe me.
979
00:51:51,637 --> 00:51:55,630
(SINGING) Come on with your come on
You don't fight fair
980
00:51:55,741 --> 00:51:58,801
That's okay, see if I care
981
00:51:58,911 --> 00:52:02,039
Blah, blah, blah, blah,,,
982
00:52:02,147 --> 00:52:04,581
Hit me with your best shot
983
00:52:04,683 --> 00:52:06,674
Fire away
984
00:52:06,785 --> 00:52:08,150
(DOOR CLOSES )
985
00:52:11,657 --> 00:52:13,215
Hello?
986
00:52:13,325 --> 00:52:14,383
Jack?
987
00:52:18,163 --> 00:52:19,221
JACK: Taxi!
988
00:52:20,432 --> 00:52:23,026
JACK: Come on, man! Hey!
989
00:52:26,105 --> 00:52:28,335
-Hey, hey, hey!
-JOY: Wait a minute.
990
00:52:28,974 --> 00:52:30,134
Oh, come on!
991
00:52:32,978 --> 00:52:35,208
Twitchell... Twitchell...
992
00:52:35,914 --> 00:52:37,074
(TELEPHONE RINGS )
993
00:52:37,649 --> 00:52:39,082
Dr, Twitchell speaking,
994
00:52:39,184 --> 00:52:41,744
-Yes, hi, this is Joy Fuller.
-Mrs, Fuller,
995
00:52:41,854 --> 00:52:44,448
Yes. I got a phone call from Annette
996
00:52:44,556 --> 00:52:46,547
saying that our session
was canceled today.
997
00:52:46,658 --> 00:52:50,094
-I just wanted to double-check that.
-Your session is definitely still on,
998
00:52:50,195 --> 00:52:53,130
And any absence
is considered contempt of court,
999
00:52:53,232 --> 00:52:54,199
It is?
1000
00:52:56,034 --> 00:52:58,798
Asshole! Trying to get me
to miss therapy!
1001
00:52:59,605 --> 00:53:02,096
75th and Riverside, and step on it!
1002
00:53:04,676 --> 00:53:05,768
Okay.
1003
00:53:06,345 --> 00:53:07,642
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
1004
00:53:09,214 --> 00:53:10,977
-What?
-Hey!
1005
00:53:11,083 --> 00:53:13,517
Good luck paying for that cab
without your wallet.
1006
00:53:13,719 --> 00:53:15,186
(EX CLAIMS )
1007
00:53:15,287 --> 00:53:17,084
Only five dollars?
1008
00:53:17,189 --> 00:53:18,781
You stole my wallet?
1009
00:53:18,891 --> 00:53:20,449
(TAXI BRAKING)
1010
00:53:20,559 --> 00:53:22,959
Lost your wallet, huh? Get out.
1011
00:53:24,596 --> 00:53:26,291
Come on. What do you want?
We can work something out here.
1012
00:53:26,398 --> 00:53:28,093
-Show me your breasts.
-What?
1013
00:53:28,200 --> 00:53:30,930
You'd be surprised how often it happens.
1014
00:53:32,438 --> 00:53:35,635
-Okay, one breast. That's all you get.
-All right.
1015
00:53:36,442 --> 00:53:37,636
(TAXI SPEEDING AWAY)
1016
00:53:38,043 --> 00:53:39,169
(GRUNTS )
1017
00:53:39,745 --> 00:53:42,213
CAB DRIVER: Nothing like a nice boob.
JOY: What is your problem?
1018
00:53:42,314 --> 00:53:44,475
CAB DRIVER: What? I like breasts. Sue me.
1019
00:53:44,983 --> 00:53:46,177
Is there any way around this?
1020
00:53:46,285 --> 00:53:49,220
Does it look
like there is a way around this?
1021
00:53:49,922 --> 00:53:51,150
(JACK LAUGHING)
1022
00:53:51,256 --> 00:53:52,553
(ARE YOU GONNA BE MY GIRL PLAYING)
1023
00:53:52,658 --> 00:53:53,955
Go!
1024
00:53:54,726 --> 00:53:56,887
So 1, 2, 3, take my hand and come with me
1025
00:53:56,995 --> 00:53:59,623
Because you look so fine
And I really wanna make you mine
1026
00:54:00,098 --> 00:54:01,963
-How many for 10 of these?
-Ten for $2.
1027
00:54:02,067 --> 00:54:04,228
-Okay. Here, take five.
-Okay.
1028
00:54:04,336 --> 00:54:06,600
Now you don't need that money
when you look like that, do ya honey
1029
00:54:07,873 --> 00:54:08,840
(EX CLAIMS )
1030
00:54:08,941 --> 00:54:10,169
(CAR ALARM BLARING)
1031
00:54:11,243 --> 00:54:15,009
I know we
ain't got much to say
1032
00:54:15,781 --> 00:54:19,740
Before I let you get away, yeah!
1033
00:54:22,154 --> 00:54:26,250
TOUR GUIDE: There's Brooklyn.
Very exciting. Everyone, back on the bus!
1034
00:54:26,358 --> 00:54:27,382
What a day, huh?
1035
00:54:35,467 --> 00:54:37,298
Is this seat taken?
1036
00:54:38,437 --> 00:54:41,065
Pardon. Excuse me. Sorry.
1037
00:54:41,173 --> 00:54:43,505
-You are so immature!
-Please, woman!
1038
00:54:44,276 --> 00:54:45,538
Go away!
1039
00:54:45,644 --> 00:54:48,044
-That really hurt!
-Oh, no! You're hurting me!
1040
00:54:48,547 --> 00:54:50,845
TOUR GUIDE: And here we are,
Central Park.
1041
00:54:50,949 --> 00:54:52,416
Yes, isn't it beautiful?
1042
00:54:52,518 --> 00:54:56,818
Half an hour, people. That's 30 minutes
for those on the metric system.
1043
00:55:00,158 --> 00:55:02,126
I'll take that! You mind?
1044
00:55:04,897 --> 00:55:05,886
-WOMAN: What?
-Thank you!
1045
00:55:05,998 --> 00:55:07,090
MAN: Hey!
1046
00:55:08,767 --> 00:55:12,294
Well I could see
you home with me
1047
00:55:13,038 --> 00:55:16,997
But you were with another man, yeah!
1048
00:55:17,576 --> 00:55:20,670
I know we
ain't got much to say
1049
00:55:20,779 --> 00:55:21,905
JOY: Idiot!
1050
00:55:22,247 --> 00:55:26,115
Before I let you get away, yeah!
1051
00:55:28,921 --> 00:55:30,684
(BOTH GRUNTING)
1052
00:55:30,789 --> 00:55:33,189
I said are you gonna be my girl?
1053
00:55:33,559 --> 00:55:34,753
(BOTH GRUNTING)
1054
00:55:56,515 --> 00:55:58,210
JACK SR.: No, you're wrong.
You can't remember anything.
1055
00:55:58,317 --> 00:56:00,410
MRS. FULLER: You're remembering
your first date with somebody else!
1056
00:56:00,519 --> 00:56:02,009
JACK SR.: No! It was not our first date!
1057
00:56:02,120 --> 00:56:05,248
You keep thinking that. You always did.
You are demented!
1058
00:56:05,524 --> 00:56:06,786
JACK SR.: It was not!
MRS. FULLER: It was!
1059
00:56:06,892 --> 00:56:07,859
MRS. FULLER: Your memory...
1060
00:56:07,960 --> 00:56:09,325
JACK SR.: Mine?
You can't remember the date!
1061
00:56:09,428 --> 00:56:11,020
Yes, it's your...
1062
00:56:11,430 --> 00:56:13,364
Hi, honey! Welcome home!
1063
00:56:13,732 --> 00:56:15,063
Mom ! Dad!
1064
00:56:17,102 --> 00:56:18,433
What are you doing here?
1065
00:56:18,537 --> 00:56:20,232
Well, I got a message from your parents,
1066
00:56:20,339 --> 00:56:24,207
and I thought I'd surprise you
and invite them over for dinner.
1067
00:56:26,812 --> 00:56:28,780
You know that I've never
been invited over here?
1068
00:56:28,880 --> 00:56:30,871
No! Really?
1069
00:56:31,249 --> 00:56:32,648
MRS. FULLER: Why didn't you tell us
you got married?
1070
00:56:32,751 --> 00:56:34,685
I know you're still mad at me
about the firing,
1071
00:56:34,786 --> 00:56:37,050
but you get married and you don't tell us?
1072
00:56:37,155 --> 00:56:39,282
JACK SR.: That is very, very hurtful.
1073
00:56:39,658 --> 00:56:40,716
-Especially...
-Dad, I...
1074
00:56:40,826 --> 00:56:43,954
Especially when it's a catch like Joy here.
1075
00:56:44,463 --> 00:56:45,657
-What?
-Well...
1076
00:56:45,764 --> 00:56:48,028
MRS. FULLER: We're so proud of you, Jack!
1077
00:56:49,067 --> 00:56:50,762
We didn't think you'd ever settle down.
1078
00:56:50,869 --> 00:56:54,930
But then we met this wonderful girl.
You couldn't have done better!
1079
00:56:55,440 --> 00:56:56,839
JACK SR.: We are very proud of you, Son.
1080
00:56:56,942 --> 00:56:59,376
-Okay. Love biscuit?
-Yes, tinkle monkey?
1081
00:56:59,478 --> 00:57:01,844
Can I speak to you for one second?
1082
00:57:01,947 --> 00:57:03,244
Of course!
1083
00:57:03,348 --> 00:57:05,145
He probably just wants
to give me a big smooch.
1084
00:57:05,250 --> 00:57:06,444
We haven't seen each other all day!
1085
00:57:07,819 --> 00:57:11,414
My God!
How weird is it going to be in court
1086
00:57:11,556 --> 00:57:14,525
when your parents are
character witnesses for me?
1087
00:57:14,626 --> 00:57:16,753
Well, obviously, you haven't
told them everything.
1088
00:57:16,862 --> 00:57:18,989
No, I was waiting for you to do that.
1089
00:57:19,097 --> 00:57:20,724
What if we didn't?
1090
00:57:22,401 --> 00:57:27,202
What would it take for you to just
keep this our little secret for a little bit?
1091
00:57:28,674 --> 00:57:30,733
I want the bathroom door back.
1092
00:57:30,842 --> 00:57:34,107
And I want the toilet seat left the F down.
1093
00:57:34,346 --> 00:57:35,335
No.
1094
00:57:35,647 --> 00:57:37,478
-One time up...
-I got it.
1095
00:57:37,582 --> 00:57:38,810
...and I make the call.
1096
00:57:38,917 --> 00:57:40,077
-Done.
-Okay.
1097
00:57:40,185 --> 00:57:43,552
Well, Jack, Sr., you know, it is just so nice
1098
00:57:43,655 --> 00:57:47,284
to finally meet the man
who has taught Jack everything he knows.
1099
00:57:47,392 --> 00:57:49,417
-I tried.
-JOY: Well, something must've stuck.
1100
00:57:49,528 --> 00:57:51,257
Do you know he made this bar
we're sitting at?
1101
00:57:51,363 --> 00:57:53,729
Isn't it beautiful? I mean, look.
1102
00:57:53,999 --> 00:57:56,160
Dovetail's off on the corner.
1103
00:57:57,335 --> 00:57:58,563
JACK SR.: It's off!
1104
00:57:59,671 --> 00:58:01,639
Well, I think it's great.
1105
00:58:02,340 --> 00:58:04,865
I actually think that Jack
could sell his furniture.
1106
00:58:04,976 --> 00:58:07,342
I don't know.
That would require actually finishing it.
1107
00:58:07,446 --> 00:58:09,812
Maybe you should try telling Jack
you don't want him to finish it,
1108
00:58:09,915 --> 00:58:12,383
then maybe he would actually do it.
1109
00:58:12,484 --> 00:58:15,214
(ALL LAUGHING)
1110
00:58:15,320 --> 00:58:16,844
What are you doing on Saturday?
1111
00:58:16,955 --> 00:58:19,446
You've got to come to Uncle Pat's
birthday in the park with us.
1112
00:58:19,558 --> 00:58:21,116
I would love to.
1113
00:58:22,194 --> 00:58:23,889
She went after my family!
1114
00:58:23,995 --> 00:58:26,054
Dude, you're letting this chick
get in your head.
1115
00:58:26,164 --> 00:58:27,597
Yeah, I know.
1116
00:58:28,900 --> 00:58:31,460
Now I'm going to figure out
how to get into hers.
1117
00:58:31,570 --> 00:58:33,435
You should never let a chick
get in your head.
1118
00:58:33,538 --> 00:58:36,632
That's why I prefer
not to even talk to my dates.
1119
00:58:41,980 --> 00:58:43,004
Yes!
1120
00:58:44,316 --> 00:58:47,308
Why didn't I think of this before?
If she's going to play dirty, so am I.
1121
00:58:51,757 --> 00:58:54,055
-Hi.
-Hey. Jameson, on the rocks.
1122
00:59:00,332 --> 00:59:02,391
-You're Mason, right?
-Yeah.
1123
00:59:02,667 --> 00:59:05,329
I'm Jack Fuller. I'm a friend of Joy's.
1124
00:59:05,704 --> 00:59:06,671
-Joy's?
-Yeah.
1125
00:59:06,772 --> 00:59:09,263
I just wanted to give you this back.
1126
00:59:10,242 --> 00:59:11,709
She threw it in the trash.
1127
00:59:11,810 --> 00:59:14,404
But, you know, guy code, I couldn't just
let it end up in the trash.
1128
00:59:14,513 --> 00:59:16,572
I mean, you spent, what, like,
five, six thousand on this thing.
1129
00:59:16,681 --> 00:59:18,546
Actually, thirty grand.
1130
00:59:20,285 --> 00:59:21,513
I got it.
1131
00:59:23,021 --> 00:59:24,955
All right. Well, thanks.
1132
00:59:26,491 --> 00:59:27,549
Okay.
1133
00:59:31,930 --> 00:59:33,693
Hey, how's she doing?
1134
00:59:37,102 --> 00:59:38,364
You know, she's good.
1135
00:59:38,470 --> 00:59:40,370
She's probably put on some weight,
though, right?
1136
00:59:40,472 --> 00:59:42,337
From all the emotional eating
due to the break-up?
1137
00:59:42,440 --> 00:59:44,567
You really lived up to the billing.
You know that?
1138
00:59:44,676 --> 00:59:47,042
Joy told me
what an impressive guy you are.
1139
00:59:47,145 --> 00:59:48,203
Oh! Yeah.
1140
00:59:48,313 --> 00:59:51,441
She said she was trying to be
so perfect, because
1141
00:59:52,217 --> 00:59:56,620
deep down, she never really felt
like she was good enough to be with you.
1142
00:59:57,222 --> 00:59:59,918
But those insecurities are long gone now.
1143
01:00:00,058 --> 01:00:03,027
She's really come into her own.
She's on fire!
1144
01:00:03,128 --> 01:00:05,858
I'll tell you what, she not gonna be
on the open market for very long.
1145
01:00:05,964 --> 01:00:08,455
-It's a feeding frenzy out there!
-A feeding frenzy, huh? Yeah.
1146
01:00:08,567 --> 01:00:10,501
Well, I gotta get going.
1147
01:00:11,203 --> 01:00:14,400
My Uncle Pat is having a birthday party
tomorrow in Grove Park.
1148
01:00:14,506 --> 01:00:15,598
Joy and I are going.
1149
01:00:15,707 --> 01:00:19,143
Anyway, I gotta go pick up the present
she got for him. Bag of weed!
1150
01:00:19,244 --> 01:00:20,677
-Her idea !
-Really?
1151
01:00:20,812 --> 01:00:22,473
-She's on fire!
-Wow.
1152
01:00:22,581 --> 01:00:23,775
On fire.
1153
01:00:25,650 --> 01:00:27,345
Well, thanks again.
1154
01:00:32,290 --> 01:00:33,279
(HEYMAN NOW YOU'RE REALL YLIVING
PLAYING)
1155
01:00:33,391 --> 01:00:34,824
Stripper! Hiya !
1156
01:00:34,993 --> 01:00:37,928
-I so want to junkpunch that guy.
-What's with you and junkpunching?
1157
01:00:38,196 --> 01:00:40,061
-Joy?
-Hi!
1158
01:00:40,165 --> 01:00:42,360
I'm so glad you could make it.
Hey, sweetie.
1159
01:00:42,467 --> 01:00:46,028
-Hi! This is my girlfriend, Tipper.
-Hi, Tipper. Judy.
1160
01:00:46,805 --> 01:00:48,136
-Thanks for calling.
-Where's Jack?
1161
01:00:48,240 --> 01:00:51,107
He's over there,
coaching the Little League.
1162
01:00:51,776 --> 01:00:54,711
Do you know what it's like
to fall on the floor?
1163
01:00:54,813 --> 01:00:57,338
And cry your guts out till you got no more
1164
01:00:57,449 --> 01:00:59,474
Come on, sweetheart.
I want my new daughter-in-law
1165
01:00:59,584 --> 01:01:02,144
-to meet the whole family.
-Smile!
1166
01:01:02,320 --> 01:01:03,514
JACK: One, two, three,
1167
01:01:03,622 --> 01:01:04,646
-Rockets!
-Rockets!
1168
01:01:04,756 --> 01:01:06,781
Who wants sugar? Let's go!
1169
01:01:07,158 --> 01:01:09,752
What is this, like a five-foot hoagie?
1170
01:01:10,729 --> 01:01:11,718
-Hi!
-Hi.
1171
01:01:11,830 --> 01:01:16,199
This is my niece, and BFF,
the great Sammy Sosa.
1172
01:01:16,301 --> 01:01:20,795
Sammy, this is your Aunt Joy.
1173
01:01:20,906 --> 01:01:22,897
-Nice to meet you, Sammy.
-Hi, Joy.
1174
01:01:23,008 --> 01:01:24,635
I didn't know you coached Little League.
1175
01:01:24,743 --> 01:01:27,735
Oh, there's a lot of things you don't know
about me. Isn't that right?
1176
01:01:27,846 --> 01:01:32,374
Jack wore a little fedora
and a leather jacket to school
1177
01:01:32,484 --> 01:01:33,951
every day for six months.
1178
01:01:34,052 --> 01:01:36,646
Who wouldn't want to be Indiana Jones?
1179
01:01:37,122 --> 01:01:38,282
I agree completely. I mean,
1180
01:01:38,390 --> 01:01:42,349
Raiders of the Lost Ark may be
the greatest movie ever made.
1181
01:01:46,531 --> 01:01:50,763
-I don't think I like what's going on here.
-What, are we bonding now?
1182
01:01:51,536 --> 01:01:53,595
She doesn't seem so bad, Uncle Jack.
1183
01:01:54,072 --> 01:01:57,132
I think you guys should just
split the money and stay married.
1184
01:01:57,442 --> 01:01:59,637
Make a hundred pretty babies.
1185
01:02:01,513 --> 01:02:02,946
You told her?
1186
01:02:03,148 --> 01:02:06,675
Yeah, I don't have secrets from Sammy.
I tell her everything.
1187
01:02:06,785 --> 01:02:10,243
Hey man now you're really living
1188
01:02:10,622 --> 01:02:16,288
Well I just saw the sun rise over the hill
Never used to give me much of a thrill
1189
01:02:16,861 --> 01:02:19,921
But hey man now you're really living
1190
01:02:20,031 --> 01:02:23,831
Well, ladies, I believe
this is where we go our separate ways.
1191
01:02:24,135 --> 01:02:25,602
Thank you.
1192
01:02:29,174 --> 01:02:32,041
People sing
1193
01:02:32,143 --> 01:02:34,873
Do you know what it's like
to fall on the floor?
1194
01:02:35,113 --> 01:02:37,741
And cry your guts out till you got no more
1195
01:02:38,116 --> 01:02:40,880
Hey man now you're really living
1196
01:02:41,019 --> 01:02:42,179
Joy!
1197
01:02:42,587 --> 01:02:43,815
Mason.
1198
01:02:44,222 --> 01:02:47,020
-What are you doing here?
-I was just visiting some friends.
1199
01:02:47,125 --> 01:02:49,719
-In Brooklyn?
-Well, yeah. Yeah.
1200
01:02:49,828 --> 01:02:52,262
Brooklyn. The B.K. Love it here.
1201
01:02:52,364 --> 01:02:53,922
MASON: Yeah, they're artists. Yeah.
1202
01:02:54,032 --> 01:02:56,762
Hey, you want to go grab a glass of vino?
Maybe chat up for a bit?
1203
01:02:56,901 --> 01:03:00,860
I can't right now. Sorry.
1204
01:03:00,972 --> 01:03:04,965
-Okay, all right. Well, maybe next week.
-I have my retreat.
1205
01:03:06,344 --> 01:03:07,402
Wow!
1206
01:03:08,780 --> 01:03:10,907
You seem fine.
1207
01:03:12,350 --> 01:03:15,945
No, I mean, you look great.
Doesn't she look great? You look great.
1208
01:03:16,287 --> 01:03:17,754
-Thanks.
-Yeah.
1209
01:03:18,256 --> 01:03:19,723
I... Yeah.
1210
01:03:21,259 --> 01:03:23,386
-I gotta go.
-Yeah, me, too. Me, too.
1211
01:03:23,595 --> 01:03:26,325
-All right, well, maybe some other time.
-Yeah.
1212
01:03:26,431 --> 01:03:28,160
Good seeing you.
Good bumping into you like that. Weird.
1213
01:03:29,300 --> 01:03:30,597
Take care.
1214
01:03:36,341 --> 01:03:38,468
-Oh, my God. You're falling for her.
-What?
1215
01:03:38,676 --> 01:03:41,611
-You're falling for your wife! You idiot!
-What are you talking about?
1216
01:03:41,713 --> 01:03:44,307
-She's a wily temptress.
-"A wily temptress."
1217
01:03:44,416 --> 01:03:45,815
-Yes!
-You just said "wily temptress."
1218
01:03:45,917 --> 01:03:47,748
Yes, I did, because that is what she is.
1219
01:03:48,319 --> 01:03:50,651
And what do wily temptresses do, Jack?
1220
01:03:50,855 --> 01:03:54,848
They tempt in a wily fashion.
And then they play you.
1221
01:03:55,560 --> 01:03:59,724
Tempt, play, tempt, play.
And she's playing you, my friend.
1222
01:03:59,831 --> 01:04:02,994
Don't let her play you
out of what is rightfully yours.
1223
01:04:03,101 --> 01:04:07,128
Keep your eyes on the prize, Jack!
Eyes on the prize.
1224
01:04:16,247 --> 01:04:19,216
Hey, McNally.
What'd you do, take the weekend off?
1225
01:04:19,317 --> 01:04:20,409
-Oh...
-Have fun?
1226
01:04:20,518 --> 01:04:22,679
No, I remember when I didn't care
about my career, either.
1227
01:04:22,787 --> 01:04:26,746
I'm sorry, I just had this thing
this weekend with my husband's family...
1228
01:04:26,858 --> 01:04:28,655
Your husband? You got married?
1229
01:04:28,827 --> 01:04:30,988
Well, thanks for the invite.
I didn't even know you had a boyfriend.
1230
01:04:31,196 --> 01:04:33,391
Yeah, no, I'm married.
I didn't tell you that?
1231
01:04:33,565 --> 01:04:36,500
No, you didn't.
I guess you're not a big sharer.
1232
01:04:36,601 --> 01:04:38,796
Now, listen, Joy,
I've been in this business for a long time.
1233
01:04:38,937 --> 01:04:41,963
And the thing that I value most
in my employees is honesty.
1234
01:04:42,107 --> 01:04:45,543
So I'm gonna be honest with you.
Right now, you and Chong are tied.
1235
01:04:45,643 --> 01:04:48,544
Now, Chonger is bringing her husband
to the retreat.
1236
01:04:48,646 --> 01:04:52,138
-I think you should bring yours, too.
-He will be there.
1237
01:04:53,017 --> 01:04:55,315
-You can count on it, sir.
-Good.
1238
01:04:59,324 --> 01:05:00,518
So let me get this straight.
1239
01:05:00,625 --> 01:05:04,186
She asked you
to come to a retreat for her job.
1240
01:05:04,295 --> 01:05:05,592
Yeah.
1241
01:05:05,697 --> 01:05:08,598
The most important thing
to her in the world.
1242
01:05:09,767 --> 01:05:12,361
Do you believe that? I was like, "No! "
1243
01:05:14,405 --> 01:05:20,241
'Cause I'm like... I'm like,
"Hey, what are you still doing here?"
1244
01:05:21,146 --> 01:05:24,081
Jack! You have got
to get your ass down there,
1245
01:05:24,182 --> 01:05:26,810
pretend to be the perfect husband,
charm them all, and then,
1246
01:05:26,918 --> 01:05:29,682
when you have them eating
out of the palm of your hand,
1247
01:05:29,787 --> 01:05:31,652
you make her sign this.
1248
01:05:33,091 --> 01:05:35,321
-What's this?
-This is a document, okay,
1249
01:05:36,161 --> 01:05:38,925
relinquishing all the rights to the money.
1250
01:05:39,430 --> 01:05:44,595
Right? You tell her if she doesn't sign it,
you're gonna out her in front of everybody.
1251
01:05:47,071 --> 01:05:48,129
Yeah.
1252
01:05:50,108 --> 01:05:51,598
I mean, that's not, you know...
1253
01:05:51,709 --> 01:05:53,802
It's not pretty, but we can...
1254
01:05:54,445 --> 01:05:56,072
I can laminate it.
1255
01:05:59,684 --> 01:06:03,552
-I don't know.
-Okay, look, Jack, the hearing's in a week.
1256
01:06:03,655 --> 01:06:05,748
Okay? This is our last shot.
1257
01:06:26,611 --> 01:06:28,704
-Hey, McNally.
-Mr. Banger.
1258
01:06:29,113 --> 01:06:30,341
So, where's this husband of yours?
1259
01:06:30,448 --> 01:06:33,246
I just met Chonger's husband.
He's a very smart guy.
1260
01:06:33,351 --> 01:06:35,410
He's a tool, but he's smart.
1261
01:06:35,920 --> 01:06:37,251
He's...
1262
01:06:37,355 --> 01:06:39,448
(PEOPLE LAUGHING)
1263
01:06:39,557 --> 01:06:43,220
So the spaceman says,
"I don't even have a vagina ! "
1264
01:06:43,328 --> 01:06:44,659
He's there!
1265
01:06:46,297 --> 01:06:48,356
I'll just take this to him.
1266
01:06:50,735 --> 01:06:52,635
Mr. Banger, I just wanted
to take this moment
1267
01:06:52,737 --> 01:06:55,228
to express to you my gratitude.
1268
01:06:56,708 --> 01:06:58,471
I'll be seeing you at the...
1269
01:06:58,910 --> 01:07:00,036
The dining table.
1270
01:07:00,712 --> 01:07:02,077
-Hey, hey!
-Hey.
1271
01:07:03,047 --> 01:07:04,708
(LAUGHS )
1272
01:07:04,816 --> 01:07:05,805
I'm so glad to see you.
1273
01:07:05,917 --> 01:07:07,578
Muffin, I've been looking
everywhere for you.
1274
01:07:07,685 --> 01:07:11,086
This is why everyone
should have their wife on LoJack.
1275
01:07:11,656 --> 01:07:14,625
Let me introduce you to my friends.
This is David Young, your CFO.
1276
01:07:14,726 --> 01:07:16,694
Mr. Young. An honor. Hi.
1277
01:07:16,961 --> 01:07:19,452
And this is the rest of your board, actually.
1278
01:07:19,764 --> 01:07:22,665
Great people. Wealthy people.
Sit down, sit down, sit down.
1279
01:07:24,936 --> 01:07:26,403
So you're the lucky guy.
1280
01:07:26,504 --> 01:07:29,064
-Hi. Jack Fuller.
-I'm Richard Banger.
1281
01:07:30,108 --> 01:07:31,769
You're in my seat.
1282
01:07:32,910 --> 01:07:35,310
Wait, your name is Richard Banger?
1283
01:07:35,813 --> 01:07:37,781
Your name is Dick Banger.
1284
01:07:37,949 --> 01:07:39,712
Dick Banger! Dick Banger?
1285
01:07:39,884 --> 01:07:43,843
You, sir, have just provided us with jokes
for the whole weekend!
1286
01:07:47,058 --> 01:07:50,585
Well, you must be Jack...off!
1287
01:07:50,695 --> 01:07:52,424
Jack-Off! Give it to me, baby!
1288
01:07:52,530 --> 01:07:54,691
-Jack-Off, buddy!
-He has a comeback!
1289
01:07:55,600 --> 01:07:57,534
McNally, where have you
been hiding this guy?
1290
01:07:57,635 --> 01:07:59,432
You know, I've just been
keeping him all to myself!
1291
01:07:59,537 --> 01:08:00,799
Well, you gotta learn how to share.
1292
01:08:00,938 --> 01:08:05,034
All right, everybody, let's sit down.
Brainiac, Chonger, move over.
1293
01:08:05,743 --> 01:08:09,110
"Jack-Off." How about it? Oh, boy.
1294
01:08:09,213 --> 01:08:13,445
I don't know what made you change
your mind, and I don't need to. I just...
1295
01:08:13,551 --> 01:08:14,848
Thank you.
1296
01:08:17,889 --> 01:08:20,790
-"Jack-Off." I love that.
-Yeah, I do, too.
1297
01:08:24,429 --> 01:08:27,956
I love that, that you said that.
Because it was...
1298
01:08:29,567 --> 01:08:30,864
For a moment there, I...
1299
01:08:30,968 --> 01:08:32,265
I'm so sorry.
1300
01:08:33,104 --> 01:08:34,765
MAN: Joy, come on over! Joy!
1301
01:08:34,872 --> 01:08:36,134
(PEOPLE CHEERING)
1302
01:08:36,240 --> 01:08:37,605
I'm on it!
1303
01:08:38,609 --> 01:08:40,770
-Yeah!
-I'm on it.
1304
01:08:43,581 --> 01:08:45,208
Yeah! Yeah!
1305
01:08:45,316 --> 01:08:47,307
(ALL CHEERING)
1306
01:08:48,119 --> 01:08:49,086
(ONE LOVEPLAYING)
1307
01:08:49,187 --> 01:08:53,021
One looks for happiness
One longs to find a partner
1308
01:08:53,157 --> 01:08:57,059
One knows that nowadays
One love will be the answer
1309
01:08:57,762 --> 01:08:58,751
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
1310
01:08:58,863 --> 01:09:01,491
One sees a crazy world
One needs a fresh perspective
1311
01:09:01,599 --> 01:09:03,260
-Hey.
-So what's up? She sign it yet?
1312
01:09:03,368 --> 01:09:04,494
No, not yet.
1313
01:09:04,602 --> 01:09:05,660
You better not
be pussying out on me!
1314
01:09:05,770 --> 01:09:08,398
Don't get your panties in a bunch.
I'm just waiting for her to get down here.
1315
01:09:08,639 --> 01:09:10,470
Got to warm
these people up, you know?
1316
01:09:10,608 --> 01:09:12,701
All right, well, call me
when it's done, okay?
1317
01:09:12,810 --> 01:09:14,004
I'm holding down the fort in the meantime.
1318
01:09:14,112 --> 01:09:15,101
-Yeah, All right,
-Bye.
1319
01:09:19,117 --> 01:09:20,345
Lavender.
1320
01:09:21,586 --> 01:09:23,281
You get on my head.
1321
01:09:25,957 --> 01:09:30,860
Oh, my God. That is slick.
That is something else.
1322
01:10:05,296 --> 01:10:07,662
-Can you believe this?
-No.
1323
01:10:09,867 --> 01:10:13,268
I guess I was wrong.
You do clean up pretty well.
1324
01:10:17,408 --> 01:10:18,500
What?
1325
01:10:20,111 --> 01:10:22,045
No, you just... You...
1326
01:10:22,847 --> 01:10:24,872
I like your hair like that.
1327
01:10:25,883 --> 01:10:27,043
Thanks.
1328
01:10:27,652 --> 01:10:29,415
Can I get two shots?
1329
01:10:29,854 --> 01:10:31,617
You know what? Make it three.
1330
01:10:31,722 --> 01:10:34,190
Hello, McNally.
Jack-Off, how are you doing?
1331
01:10:35,660 --> 01:10:36,854
-Hey, Mr. Banger.
-How are you?
1332
01:10:36,961 --> 01:10:37,985
Good.
1333
01:10:38,496 --> 01:10:39,656
Cheers.
1334
01:10:42,767 --> 01:10:45,895
"Hello, my name is Joy's Bitch."
1335
01:10:48,372 --> 01:10:51,273
How's it going tonight?
You guys having fun?
1336
01:10:52,443 --> 01:10:55,503
That's a good one, McNally.
I had no idea you were so much fun.
1337
01:10:55,613 --> 01:10:56,807
She's very serious at work.
1338
01:10:56,914 --> 01:10:59,246
You don't know her that well.
This one's a wildcat.
1339
01:10:59,350 --> 01:11:03,377
-I wouldn't lie to you, Big Dick.
-Well, if you did, I'd have to kill you.
1340
01:11:03,488 --> 01:11:05,615
-Seriously.
-There's nothing this woman loves
1341
01:11:05,723 --> 01:11:06,985
-more than a good dare.
-Really?
1342
01:11:07,091 --> 01:11:08,922
Yeah. You ever see what she can do
with a champagne bottle?
1343
01:11:09,026 --> 01:11:12,484
-Unbelievable. Shocking.
-No, it's just... It's a party trick. It's not...
1344
01:11:12,597 --> 01:11:13,928
I dare you.
1345
01:11:20,738 --> 01:11:22,706
-I hate you.
-You love me.
1346
01:11:24,041 --> 01:11:25,565
(EX CLAIMING)
1347
01:11:25,676 --> 01:11:27,735
Very good! Very good!
1348
01:11:27,845 --> 01:11:30,712
Terrific! You know,
had I seen this side of you before,
1349
01:11:30,815 --> 01:11:34,046
I probably would have promoted you
a long time ago.
1350
01:11:38,322 --> 01:11:40,222
(SINGING) Get down on it
1351
01:11:40,858 --> 01:11:42,826
-That's a lot.
-Your turn.
1352
01:11:47,398 --> 01:11:49,491
You know what? You shouldn't do that.
1353
01:11:50,568 --> 01:11:52,399
You've got this, okay?
1354
01:11:53,471 --> 01:11:54,995
Throw the dice.
1355
01:11:55,940 --> 01:11:57,498
You've got this.
1356
01:11:59,610 --> 01:12:01,237
-We need what, a seven?
-A seven!
1357
01:12:01,379 --> 01:12:03,142
-Okay.
-Throw a seven!
1358
01:12:05,917 --> 01:12:07,043
DEALER: Seven.
1359
01:12:07,151 --> 01:12:08,516
Oh, my God!
1360
01:12:08,853 --> 01:12:10,684
-Thank you. Thank you.
-You're welcome.
1361
01:12:10,788 --> 01:12:13,052
We're done. Can we quit?
Can we quit? We're... Okay.
1362
01:12:13,157 --> 01:12:14,283
Throw it in there.
1363
01:12:14,392 --> 01:12:17,987
Thank you, Ladies and gentlemen,
would you please gather round?
1364
01:12:18,095 --> 01:12:19,062
(CELL PHONE BEEPING)
1365
01:12:19,163 --> 01:12:23,497
BANGER,: Come on, Don't be afraid,
This year's Golden Handshake Award
1366
01:12:23,601 --> 01:12:26,900
for best team spirit goes to a new face,
1367
01:12:27,572 --> 01:12:31,804
and one of the funniest son of a bitches
I've ever had the pleasure to know,
1368
01:12:31,909 --> 01:12:34,070
And I think you know
who I'm talking about,
1369
01:12:34,211 --> 01:12:39,274
-Jack-Off! Jack-Off! Jack-Off!
-Jack-Off! Jack-Off! Jack-Off!
1370
01:12:39,383 --> 01:12:41,374
BANGER,: Get up here! Come on!
1371
01:12:43,054 --> 01:12:45,352
Congratulations, Jack-Off,
1372
01:12:47,325 --> 01:12:50,522
Well, thank you all
for an amazing weekend, I,,,
1373
01:12:52,763 --> 01:12:54,924
I have to thank my wife, Joy,
1374
01:13:00,071 --> 01:13:03,734
She probably never told you all
the story about how we met,
1375
01:13:09,313 --> 01:13:12,339
It might come as a surprise
to many of you
1376
01:13:13,084 --> 01:13:17,180
that we didn't know each other
for very long before we got hitched,
1377
01:13:24,028 --> 01:13:26,690
What can I say? You know?
When you know, you know,
1378
01:13:28,799 --> 01:13:33,031
On our wedding night, we were so busy
running back to the honeymoon suite
1379
01:13:33,137 --> 01:13:37,767
that we never really got a chance
to have a first dance,
1380
01:13:38,442 --> 01:13:39,500
So,,,
1381
01:13:42,680 --> 01:13:43,977
Ladies and gentlemen,
1382
01:13:44,081 --> 01:13:47,244
for the first time,
Mr, and Mrs, Jack Fuller!
1383
01:13:47,351 --> 01:13:48,909
(CROWD APPLAUDING)
1384
01:13:53,724 --> 01:13:54,691
(PLAYING WHA TA FEELING)
1385
01:13:54,792 --> 01:13:57,454
(SINGING) First, when there's nothing
1386
01:13:58,329 --> 01:14:02,095
but a slow glowing dream
1387
01:14:03,100 --> 01:14:05,625
That your fear seems to hide,,,
1388
01:14:05,736 --> 01:14:06,725
(GLASSES CLINKING)
1389
01:14:06,837 --> 01:14:08,532
You hear that?
1390
01:14:08,639 --> 01:14:11,733
-They're clinking.
-Yeah. They are clinking.
1391
01:14:12,610 --> 01:14:15,306
I think that means they want us to kiss.
1392
01:14:15,546 --> 01:14:18,242
Well, if that's what the crowd wants...
1393
01:14:19,083 --> 01:14:22,416
Yeah, but if you're not up for it,
you don't have to. It's fine.
1394
01:14:22,520 --> 01:14:26,388
In a world made of steel
1395
01:14:26,490 --> 01:14:30,153
Made of stone
1396
01:14:34,298 --> 01:14:37,734
Well, I hear the music
1397
01:14:37,835 --> 01:14:41,566
Close my eyes, feel the rhythm
1398
01:14:42,006 --> 01:14:43,769
Wrap around
1399
01:14:43,874 --> 01:14:48,709
Take a hold of my heart
1400
01:14:49,513 --> 01:14:51,174
What a feeling!
1401
01:14:53,150 --> 01:14:55,914
Being's believing
1402
01:14:57,021 --> 01:15:03,426
I can't have it all
Now I'm dancing for my life
1403
01:15:04,695 --> 01:15:06,526
Take your passion
1404
01:15:08,065 --> 01:15:11,228
And make it happen
1405
01:15:22,279 --> 01:15:23,906
All right, look.
1406
01:15:24,482 --> 01:15:27,610
When's the last time
you were, like, really happy?
1407
01:15:27,718 --> 01:15:29,686
-Really happy?
-And don't say Vegas,
1408
01:15:29,787 --> 01:15:33,120
because if you do, I'll just... I'll have to cry.
1409
01:15:35,059 --> 01:15:36,117
Okay.
1410
01:15:37,928 --> 01:15:39,793
There was this one day,
1411
01:15:40,798 --> 01:15:43,198
before the Exchange, before Mason.
1412
01:15:45,035 --> 01:15:49,062
I was feeling really adventurous,
so I took the ferry
1413
01:15:49,173 --> 01:15:51,971
-about 30 miles east of the city.
-Mmm-hmm.
1414
01:15:52,576 --> 01:15:54,305
There was this great lighthouse.
1415
01:15:54,411 --> 01:15:58,006
I mean, it was just right on the beach,
off the boardwalk.
1416
01:15:58,449 --> 01:16:00,440
-You went there by yourself?
-Yeah.
1417
01:16:00,551 --> 01:16:03,281
You know, I just, like, sat on the beach,
1418
01:16:04,388 --> 01:16:07,721
listened to the waves,
watched the sunset.
1419
01:16:09,326 --> 01:16:13,786
God! I had no concerns, you know?
I had, like, no responsibilities,
1420
01:16:13,898 --> 01:16:15,661
no job stressing me out.
1421
01:16:15,766 --> 01:16:18,826
I had no one to please but myself.
1422
01:16:19,904 --> 01:16:22,304
-That's that photo you have.
-Yeah.
1423
01:16:23,641 --> 01:16:26,610
That was a great day.
1424
01:16:43,894 --> 01:16:46,294
I did take myself out of the game.
1425
01:16:52,236 --> 01:16:54,261
If you stop betting,
1426
01:16:55,372 --> 01:16:57,237
you never have to lose.
1427
01:17:10,688 --> 01:17:12,451
I'd bet on you, Jack.
1428
01:17:26,570 --> 01:17:29,095
So, long day, huh?
1429
01:17:29,707 --> 01:17:31,038
Yeah.
1430
01:17:33,944 --> 01:17:36,811
So, we should probably get to bed.
1431
01:17:38,949 --> 01:17:39,973
Yep.
1432
01:18:00,004 --> 01:18:02,302
Can you undo my zipper?
1433
01:18:02,940 --> 01:18:05,807
-It gets stuck.
-Yeah! Yeah.
1434
01:18:06,710 --> 01:18:08,041
Absolutely.
1435
01:18:13,250 --> 01:18:14,547
All right.
1436
01:18:28,432 --> 01:18:30,593
All right. Okay. There it is.
1437
01:18:35,572 --> 01:18:36,732
Thanks.
1438
01:19:05,336 --> 01:19:07,531
Hey, I... These...
1439
01:19:07,638 --> 01:19:11,199
-I wasn't in your things.
-It's okay. Just leave them right there.
1440
01:19:11,308 --> 01:19:13,037
I can put them back.
1441
01:19:19,049 --> 01:19:20,880
Good night, Mr. Fuller.
1442
01:19:21,485 --> 01:19:23,350
Good night, Mrs. Fuller.
1443
01:19:50,848 --> 01:19:52,645
(IT'S ALRIGHTPLAYING)
1444
01:19:53,817 --> 01:19:55,114
It's all right
1445
01:19:57,654 --> 01:19:58,621
It's all right
1446
01:19:58,856 --> 01:19:59,823
(GASPS )
1447
01:20:00,224 --> 01:20:01,555
Everything's all right
1448
01:20:01,658 --> 01:20:02,750
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
1449
01:20:05,195 --> 01:20:06,389
It's all right
1450
01:20:07,898 --> 01:20:09,763
Everything's all right
1451
01:20:16,607 --> 01:20:17,574
It's okay
1452
01:20:19,810 --> 01:20:23,007
Okay, I'm on my way. I know.
1453
01:20:23,147 --> 01:20:24,614
It's almost over.
I'm about to be a free woman.
1454
01:20:24,715 --> 01:20:27,309
-Joy. Joy!
-What?
1455
01:20:28,619 --> 01:20:30,052
I have to go.
1456
01:20:30,421 --> 01:20:31,854
-Mason?
-Yeah.
1457
01:20:34,291 --> 01:20:37,692
I can't talk right now. I'm sorry.
I have to get going. I just...
1458
01:20:37,795 --> 01:20:39,558
I want you back, Joy.
1459
01:20:41,131 --> 01:20:43,895
-What?
-I made a huge mistake letting you go.
1460
01:20:44,001 --> 01:20:45,593
I see that now.
1461
01:20:45,736 --> 01:20:48,933
Seeing you the other day,
you had this glow about you.
1462
01:20:49,039 --> 01:20:51,735
Not that you didn't before, it's just...
1463
01:20:51,875 --> 01:20:53,968
Sometimes it takes losing something
1464
01:20:54,078 --> 01:20:56,376
for you to realize what you had.
1465
01:20:57,114 --> 01:21:00,015
I want to make up
for the wrong I did to you.
1466
01:21:01,518 --> 01:21:02,985
This is yours.
1467
01:21:03,654 --> 01:21:06,521
I gave it to you, and I want you to have it.
1468
01:21:08,725 --> 01:21:11,091
-Where did you get this?
-And Joy,
1469
01:21:12,863 --> 01:21:15,024
you are good enough for me.
1470
01:21:27,277 --> 01:21:28,505
I mean that!
1471
01:21:45,129 --> 01:21:47,120
JUDGE WHOPPER: Court is called to order.
1472
01:21:47,998 --> 01:21:51,024
Well, lookie here, lookie here!
The happy couple!
1473
01:21:51,135 --> 01:21:54,832
Six months down the road.
Did you learn anything?
1474
01:21:55,472 --> 01:21:56,496
We'll see.
1475
01:21:56,607 --> 01:21:59,701
Now, Dr. Twitchell, in your opinion,
did the couple,
1476
01:21:59,810 --> 01:22:01,835
Jack Fuller and Joy McNally,
1477
01:22:01,945 --> 01:22:04,607
obey the court order
to live together as man and wife,
1478
01:22:04,715 --> 01:22:08,116
and do you believe they put
sufficient effort into the marriage?
1479
01:22:13,157 --> 01:22:14,624
These two have
1480
01:22:17,594 --> 01:22:19,152
a lot of issues.
1481
01:22:19,630 --> 01:22:23,191
A lot of deeply unsettling issues
1482
01:22:23,667 --> 01:22:27,000
that, as individuals,
they seriously need to work on.
1483
01:22:28,038 --> 01:22:29,335
Seriously.
1484
01:22:30,908 --> 01:22:33,706
But together, in my honest opinion,
1485
01:22:35,145 --> 01:22:37,409
they're perfect for each other.
1486
01:22:38,015 --> 01:22:39,243
It's the real thing.
1487
01:22:40,217 --> 01:22:41,514
Go figure.
1488
01:22:43,253 --> 01:22:46,086
Well, thank you, Doctor.
You may step down.
1489
01:22:48,959 --> 01:22:50,221
Tipper!
1490
01:22:57,434 --> 01:22:58,992
Hi, Your Honor.
1491
01:22:59,870 --> 01:23:01,428
Have you lost weight?
1492
01:23:03,540 --> 01:23:05,269
Gotcha. Let's begin.
1493
01:23:05,909 --> 01:23:10,972
Although Ms. McNally ran up $25,000
in credit card debt in my client's name,
1494
01:23:11,081 --> 01:23:13,743
my client recently spent the same amount
1495
01:23:13,850 --> 01:23:16,751
for materials
for his new furniture business.
1496
01:23:17,120 --> 01:23:20,146
Therefore, we propose
the following settlement, Your Honor.
1497
01:23:20,424 --> 01:23:22,790
The original $3 million,
deduct half for taxes
1498
01:23:22,893 --> 01:23:25,623
and $50,000 that's already been spent,
1499
01:23:25,729 --> 01:23:28,664
that leaves $1.45 million to be divided...
1500
01:23:33,670 --> 01:23:34,830
equally.
1501
01:23:34,938 --> 01:23:38,806
Now that's the spirit!
You've learned to share! Do you accept?
1502
01:23:45,515 --> 01:23:47,506
No, Your Honor, we do not.
1503
01:23:47,618 --> 01:23:48,585
(COUGHS )
1504
01:23:48,719 --> 01:23:50,448
(WHISPERS ) Gold-digging whore.
1505
01:23:50,554 --> 01:23:54,456
My client has advised me that
she doesn't want any of the money.
1506
01:23:55,425 --> 01:23:57,393
She just wants a divorce.
1507
01:23:58,328 --> 01:24:00,387
Miss McNally, are you sure?
1508
01:24:03,400 --> 01:24:04,924
Yes, Your Honor, I am.
1509
01:24:05,035 --> 01:24:09,972
Well, then I hereby grant the divorce
and award all the monies to Mr. Fuller.
1510
01:24:10,540 --> 01:24:12,269
Court adjourned.
1511
01:24:17,881 --> 01:24:19,405
You win, Jack.
1512
01:24:19,516 --> 01:24:21,984
I officially want nothing from you.
1513
01:24:28,992 --> 01:24:30,516
Oh, my God.
1514
01:24:30,627 --> 01:24:33,653
I won a case! Jesus Christ!
1515
01:24:33,764 --> 01:24:35,755
Dude, we won!
1516
01:24:36,033 --> 01:24:37,295
I won!
1517
01:24:37,401 --> 01:24:40,131
Yeah! I'm the law, bitches!
1518
01:24:40,237 --> 01:24:41,761
I'm a lawyer!
1519
01:24:42,472 --> 01:24:43,666
HATER: To me!
1520
01:24:44,474 --> 01:24:46,305
Anybody need a lawyer?
1521
01:24:46,410 --> 01:24:48,241
(TONIGHTI HA VE TO LEA VE ITPLAYING)
1522
01:24:48,645 --> 01:24:50,738
And tonight I have to leave it
1523
01:24:52,949 --> 01:24:54,780
Time heals all wounds.
1524
01:24:56,586 --> 01:25:02,525
Now that you guys are officially done,
I was hoping to maybe get her number.
1525
01:25:02,626 --> 01:25:04,594
Yes, tonight I have to leave it
1526
01:25:04,695 --> 01:25:05,662
(CLEARS THROAT)
1527
01:25:06,730 --> 01:25:09,927
Don't you come up to me
and say you like it
1528
01:25:10,033 --> 01:25:11,364
Yeah, okay.
1529
01:25:11,835 --> 01:25:14,497
You don't have to answer that right now.
1530
01:25:18,608 --> 01:25:20,701
MAN: Hey, I have a question.
1531
01:25:21,945 --> 01:25:23,970
How much does an island cost?
1532
01:25:24,281 --> 01:25:26,078
And tonight I have to leave it
1533
01:25:27,284 --> 01:25:29,616
Yes, tonight I have to leave it
1534
01:25:32,189 --> 01:25:35,215
BANGER: Now we come to the final item
on our agenda.
1535
01:25:37,194 --> 01:25:39,162
Congratulations, McNally.
1536
01:25:41,965 --> 01:25:44,525
Thank you, sir. I won't let you down.
1537
01:25:50,507 --> 01:25:53,442
Okay, I think I'm gonna have to
let you down.
1538
01:25:53,543 --> 01:25:56,011
Why don't you just give it to Chong,
you know?
1539
01:25:56,113 --> 01:25:57,512
She's good, she deserves it,
1540
01:25:57,614 --> 01:26:00,082
and besides,
I think she just enjoys being miserable.
1541
01:26:00,517 --> 01:26:02,644
-Yes!
-You sure you know what you're doing?
1542
01:26:02,753 --> 01:26:05,688
No, I don't. But I think that's the point.
1543
01:26:07,023 --> 01:26:09,617
I would rather do nothing and be happy
1544
01:26:10,527 --> 01:26:13,052
than do something that I don't love.
1545
01:26:26,109 --> 01:26:27,906
Well, I lost her at happy.
1546
01:26:28,011 --> 01:26:29,706
I don't know what the hell
she was trying to say anyway.
1547
01:26:29,813 --> 01:26:32,441
Well done, Chonger. The job is yours.
1548
01:26:36,119 --> 01:26:37,381
Thank you.
1549
01:26:38,221 --> 01:26:40,052
So! Jack made a piece of furniture.
1550
01:26:41,091 --> 01:26:42,490
He finished it.
1551
01:26:42,592 --> 01:26:44,219
Okay. Go ahead, Dad.
What's wrong with it?
1552
01:26:44,327 --> 01:26:45,794
Nothing. It's good.
1553
01:26:45,896 --> 01:26:48,160
It's really good. I'm proud of you.
1554
01:26:51,334 --> 01:26:52,528
-Thank you.
-But...
1555
01:26:52,636 --> 01:26:53,603
Here we go.
1556
01:26:53,703 --> 01:26:55,261
...you royally screwed up
when it comes to that girl.
1557
01:26:55,372 --> 01:26:59,138
It was a big, stupid mistake. Okay?
The entire marriage was a lie!
1558
01:26:59,242 --> 01:27:01,767
The marriage might have been a mistake,
but it was not a lie.
1559
01:27:01,878 --> 01:27:04,642
And I think that anybody
who has spent time with you two recently
1560
01:27:04,748 --> 01:27:05,840
could tell you that.
1561
01:27:05,949 --> 01:27:09,077
So why don't you get your head
out of your ass
1562
01:27:09,186 --> 01:27:11,347
and go do something about it?
1563
01:27:11,988 --> 01:27:15,321
Or should I tell you not to,
and then maybe you will?
1564
01:27:18,662 --> 01:27:21,324
-TIPPER: She's gone, man.
-Gone? What do you mean, gone?
1565
01:27:21,431 --> 01:27:25,731
She, like, lost it. She quit her job,
shut off her phone. She took off.
1566
01:27:26,002 --> 01:27:27,993
Look, I don't really care much for you,
1567
01:27:28,104 --> 01:27:29,901
and I want to cut your friend Hater.
Seriously.
1568
01:27:30,006 --> 01:27:31,234
But for some reason,
1569
01:27:31,341 --> 01:27:34,276
you're, like, the only man
that Joy can actually be herself with,
1570
01:27:34,377 --> 01:27:38,313
so I wanna tell you where she is,
I really do. I just don't know.
1571
01:27:38,982 --> 01:27:40,950
-What do you know?
-I don't know. If you were miserable
1572
01:27:41,051 --> 01:27:44,487
and you wanted to get happy again,
where would you go?
1573
01:27:46,289 --> 01:27:47,347
What?
1574
01:27:49,125 --> 01:27:50,422
Thank you.
1575
01:27:53,697 --> 01:27:55,995
Okay, tell you what. We both go.
1576
01:27:56,333 --> 01:27:57,527
That way, when she sees us both,
1577
01:27:57,634 --> 01:28:00,125
she can make up her mind
on who she wants to be with.
1578
01:28:00,237 --> 01:28:04,105
I've loaned you my band saw,
I've loaned you my beer tap.
1579
01:28:04,207 --> 01:28:05,731
Do you even know
how to drive an automatic?
1580
01:28:05,842 --> 01:28:07,503
The keys. Give me the keys.
1581
01:28:07,611 --> 01:28:08,976
Here. Sorry.
1582
01:28:09,779 --> 01:28:12,145
Go get your future ex-ex-wife.
1583
01:28:12,382 --> 01:28:14,247
(I'M NOTOVER PLAYING)
1584
01:28:21,391 --> 01:28:25,157
What a waste of time
The thought crossed my mind
1585
01:28:25,262 --> 01:28:28,095
But I never missed a beat
1586
01:28:28,632 --> 01:28:32,568
Can't explain the who or what I was
1587
01:28:32,969 --> 01:28:35,494
Trying to believe
1588
01:28:35,872 --> 01:28:37,965
What would you do?
1589
01:28:39,676 --> 01:28:42,873
What would you do?
Do you know?
1590
01:28:43,380 --> 01:28:46,872
I once had a grip on everything
1591
01:28:46,983 --> 01:28:50,146
It feels better to let go
1592
01:28:50,420 --> 01:28:52,786
I'm not over
1593
01:28:54,124 --> 01:28:57,651
I'm not over you just yet
1594
01:28:57,761 --> 01:29:00,127
Cannot hide it
1595
01:29:01,398 --> 01:29:01,698
You're not that easy to forget
1596
01:29:01,698 --> 01:29:05,065
You're not that easy to forget
1597
01:29:05,268 --> 01:29:08,328
I'm not over
1598
01:29:12,375 --> 01:29:14,866
I'm not over
1599
01:29:38,301 --> 01:29:39,666
You found me.
1600
01:29:41,671 --> 01:29:43,434
You left this behind,
1601
01:29:44,741 --> 01:29:48,541
and I wanted to bring it back to you.
1602
01:29:54,050 --> 01:29:57,884
Do you know how many lighthouses
there are 30 miles east of the city?
1603
01:29:57,988 --> 01:29:59,717
-How many?
-Five.
1604
01:29:59,823 --> 01:30:02,690
-Really?
-Yeah, just in case you're wondering.
1605
01:30:02,792 --> 01:30:03,781
So.
1606
01:30:05,028 --> 01:30:10,557
Did you come all the way out here
just to give this back to me?
1607
01:30:11,568 --> 01:30:14,230
I did. So I'm going to get out of here.
1608
01:30:17,140 --> 01:30:18,971
All right. Here it is.
1609
01:30:19,976 --> 01:30:22,536
When we were married, I was horrible.
1610
01:30:23,346 --> 01:30:25,940
Sick. Just wrong.
1611
01:30:28,184 --> 01:30:30,744
And it's the best time I've ever had.
1612
01:30:34,457 --> 01:30:36,755
You bet on me, Joy,
1613
01:30:39,396 --> 01:30:41,990
and you made me want to bet on myself.
1614
01:30:42,465 --> 01:30:45,696
So don't think about anyone else
1615
01:30:46,236 --> 01:30:49,205
and just answer this for you.
1616
01:30:57,981 --> 01:31:00,279
Do you want to be married to me?
1617
01:31:01,384 --> 01:31:02,510
Again?
1618
01:31:05,155 --> 01:31:06,383
You know,
1619
01:31:07,791 --> 01:31:10,919
for so long, I've just...
I've tried to please everybody.
1620
01:31:11,428 --> 01:31:14,488
And by not trying to please you,
1621
01:31:17,167 --> 01:31:19,362
I think I became myself again.
1622
01:31:22,605 --> 01:31:23,629
I do
1623
01:31:24,808 --> 01:31:28,642
want to be married to you again.
1624
01:31:55,138 --> 01:31:56,571
I quit my job.
1625
01:31:57,841 --> 01:31:59,035
I heard.
1626
01:31:59,309 --> 01:32:02,710
I have absolutely no idea
what I'm going to do. No clue.
1627
01:32:02,812 --> 01:32:07,442
Well, it's a good thing that I have...
That we have a ton of money.
1628
01:32:07,550 --> 01:32:09,177
Oh, my God!
1629
01:32:10,687 --> 01:32:14,123
That's right. We hit the jackpot.
1630
01:32:14,924 --> 01:32:16,289
Yeah, I did.
1631
01:32:21,364 --> 01:32:24,231
Now, Joy, do you take this young man
1632
01:32:25,435 --> 01:32:29,997
to be your lawfully wedded husband,
in sickness and in health...
1633
01:32:30,373 --> 01:32:31,362
Uh-huh.
1634
01:32:31,474 --> 01:32:33,499
...for richer or for poorer...
1635
01:32:34,544 --> 01:32:35,841
I do. I take him.
1636
01:32:35,945 --> 01:32:37,708
WOMAN: Naughty! Naughty!
1637
01:32:37,814 --> 01:32:40,715
Jack, would you put the ring
upon her finger?
1638
01:32:41,651 --> 01:32:44,119
-Was that the one?
-That was it! Oh, my God!
1639
01:32:44,220 --> 01:32:45,949
You may kiss the bride.
1640
01:32:46,055 --> 01:32:47,886
(CHEERING)
1641
01:32:47,991 --> 01:32:49,618
This is the greatest day of my life!
1642
01:32:50,126 --> 01:32:53,721
-This is the greatest day of my...
-What? What?
1643
01:32:55,632 --> 01:32:56,724
Oh, my...
1644
01:32:56,966 --> 01:32:58,456
This is marvelous, simply marvelous.
1645
01:32:58,568 --> 01:33:00,559
-Bye! Thank you!
-Bye-bye.
1646
01:33:00,703 --> 01:33:02,398
Have fun, you guys!
1647
01:33:02,505 --> 01:33:04,132
It's so much fun in there!
You guys are gonna love it!
1648
01:33:04,240 --> 01:33:06,333
-JACK: Woman!
-Holy shit.
1649
01:33:06,442 --> 01:33:08,433
-JACK: Woman!
-I'm coming!
1650
01:33:10,413 --> 01:33:11,505
Hey!
1651
01:33:14,617 --> 01:33:15,584
(I HA TE YOU (MYFRIEND ) PLAYING)
1652
01:33:15,685 --> 01:33:19,382
No one here likes you
Go away get a clue
1653
01:33:19,489 --> 01:33:21,582
Go back to your,,,zoo
1654
01:33:21,691 --> 01:33:22,658
(SA VE THE BESTFOR LAST
PLAYING ON STEREO)
1655
01:33:22,759 --> 01:33:24,226
And now we're standing face to face
1656
01:33:24,327 --> 01:33:25,589
(DOORBELL RINGS )
1657
01:33:26,296 --> 01:33:30,426
Isn't this world a crazy place
1658
01:33:31,634 --> 01:33:33,295
(GRUNTS )
1659
01:33:35,839 --> 01:33:36,806
Why?
1660
01:33:36,906 --> 01:33:38,339
You know why!
1661
01:33:43,112 --> 01:33:44,545
You know why!
1662
01:33:45,849 --> 01:33:50,513
No one here likes you
Go away, get a clue
1663
01:33:50,720 --> 01:33:54,986
Go back to your,,,zoo
or whatever it is you do
1664
01:33:55,091 --> 01:33:59,084
I don't know why
I don't like what's in your eyes
1665
01:33:59,295 --> 01:34:01,729
And I'd love to split them wide
1666
01:34:03,600 --> 01:34:06,068
I could pretend
1667
01:34:06,169 --> 01:34:10,401
Can't you understand
I hate you my friend
1668
01:34:12,175 --> 01:34:15,372
Some call it an obsession
1669
01:34:16,179 --> 01:34:19,080
And some call it a good hate
1670
01:34:20,216 --> 01:34:23,242
And I'll just call it pathetic
1671
01:34:24,153 --> 01:34:27,088
But some totally relate
1672
01:34:29,359 --> 01:34:33,523
I'd rather go to hell
than shake your hand or wish you well
1673
01:34:33,897 --> 01:34:35,660
In case you couldn't tell
1674
01:34:37,800 --> 01:34:41,998
Go ahead, boy, drink your drink
Go ahead, boy, do your thing
1675
01:34:42,105 --> 01:34:45,836
Can you learn the words
to every song I sing
1676
01:34:46,476 --> 01:34:48,967
I could pretend
1677
01:34:49,178 --> 01:34:53,239
Can't you understand
I hate you my friend
1678
01:35:12,302 --> 01:35:15,430
Some call it an obsession
1679
01:35:16,306 --> 01:35:19,104
And some call it a good hate
1680
01:35:20,376 --> 01:35:23,436
And I'll just call it pathetic
1681
01:35:24,414 --> 01:35:27,212
But some totally relate
1682
01:35:29,185 --> 01:35:33,622
No one here likes you
Go away, get a clue
1683
01:35:33,723 --> 01:35:37,591
Go back to your,,,zoo
or whatever it is you do
1684
01:35:37,760 --> 01:35:40,456
I could pretend
1685
01:35:40,563 --> 01:35:44,761
Can't you understand
I hate you my friend
1686
01:35:46,836 --> 01:35:49,430
I hate you my friend
1687
01:35:50,907 --> 01:35:53,398
I hate you my friend
1688
01:38:14,150 --> 01:38:15,742
(EXHALES )
1689
01:38:15,852 --> 01:38:19,288
What are you doing later? You know,
there's a meteor shower tonight.
1690
01:38:19,388 --> 01:38:20,821
You know what?
1691
01:38:20,923 --> 01:38:23,517
Jack was our glue.
1692
01:38:23,626 --> 01:38:26,026
I feel like the fact that he's gone
makes us a little closer.
1693
01:38:26,129 --> 01:38:28,495
No, it makes us a little bit just...
1694
01:38:29,031 --> 01:38:30,794
The opposite of that.
1695
01:38:39,509 --> 01:38:41,136
You like to party?
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